My name is Becca. I will not bore you with much about me.

if most of your profile is actually someone else's profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get really good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

./l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
,l、 ~ヽ
,じしf,)ノ

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, or were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!)

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and she got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in heck would you keep looking for it if you already found it.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The problem with political jokes is that very often they get elected.

Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree but you've done this, too, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you kinda think mosquitoes are a little bit cooler now because they suck blood (which makes them kinda like a vampire) copy this into your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the darn Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.

If you're one of those people who gets excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

What I really need is minions...

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

A person who smiles in crisis has found someone to blame.

7/5 of all people do not understand fractions.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not MY fault I never learned to accept responsibility!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do.

Solutions are NOT the answer.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? (Or if a vampire really sucks for that matter?)

Electrons are very, very small, but they can gang up and hurt you.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

Change is good, but dollars are better.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

I know you think you understand what I said, but what you heard was not what I meant.

If this saying did not exist, somebody would have invented it.

Why get even when you can get odd?

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

Why is it called "after dark" when it's really "after light"?

The day without the sun, is like, you know, night.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

It was all so different before everything changed.

If time is on your side, what's on the other?

How is it that "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

Gravity always gets me down.

I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait for me to return.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" Can fat people go skinny-dipping? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? So what's the speed of dark? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station... If quitters never win and winners never quit- what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Why is round pizza in a square box? Why do people say that they slept like a baby when babies sleep for only two hours? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? When you eat you have to chew and swallow... does inhailing count?

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen or Jasper Hale is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when someone tries to steal Twilight or New Moon and you smack them over the head with it when you get it back. Crazy is when you memorize almost the whole book of Twilight or New Moon or Eclipse and can start rattling it off at any moment. Crazy is when your crazy friend is obsessed with twilight, and even though you know what you are getting yourself into you let her brainwash you anyway!!Crazy is when you are your own radio when you are bored and you get annoyied when the same song keeps playing!! If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd with no life
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them al

I'm a BRUNETTE, so I MUST hate all blondes

I'm PUNK, so I MUST smoke pot

I'm MOODY, so I MUST be depressed and cut my wrists
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I HAVE A CRUSH, so I MUST write his name all over my stuff and want to marry him someday
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I'm LOYAL, so I MUST be easy to walk all over

I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be hideous, rude, and/or incapable of getting a boyfriend

I READ A LOT, so I MUST spend most of my time alone
I HAVE A GOOD VOCABULARY, so I MUST be some kind of genius
I HELP PEOPLE, so I MUST be a pushover

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be obnoxious and annoying

I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I STAND UP FOR MYSELF, so I MUST be unreasonable and pushy
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve

I trip up stairs, run into poles, and can't spell have the time, so I MUST be stupid.

Sterotypes are false, unecessary, and stupid.If you believe this, post this on your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people who came up with sterotypes, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, Owl of the Night, WhatWouldRonandHermioneDo, American Dreamer Girl, Crystalized Chaos, Silver Chaos-Light, Nekoearlover, Randompanda940, Emmett's evil vampire bunnies, Pentacle Witch 13, XxXSilverShadowXxX, Only if you wish it, SnowsongIsAJaypawFan,

If you would take a bullet for your best friend, put this in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

Quotes

"If I make no sense, and what I say makes no sense, then that makes total sense." -Nathanael Huddleson

"I have way too much free time, but I'm too busy to use it." -Author Unknown

"If a person asks you where you are going tell them 'follow me, and you'll know when we get there.'" -Unknown

"Running in place gets you nowhere fast." -Nathanael Huddleson

"Today is tomorrow from yesterday's perspective." -Stephanie Huddleson

"Some people suffer from insanity, others just enjoy it." -Unknown

“Strange is our Situation Here Upon Earth.” -Albert Einstein

"I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know." - Weird Al

"I don't ask why patients lie, I just assume they all do."-House

"Patients sometimes get better. You have no idea why, but unless you give a reason they won't pay you. Anybody notice if there's a full moon? ... let's rule out the lunar god and go from there." - House

"Idiopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots cause we can't figure out what's causing it."- House

"You want to make things right? Too bad. Nothing's ever right." -House

You know you live in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice that number five was missing.
11. You just scrolled up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.

I thougt this was really sweet!

If i dont call you
Its because i'm waiting for you to call me

When i walk away from you mad
Follow me

When i stare at your mouth
Kiss me

When i push you or hit you
Grab me and dont let go

When i start cussing at you
Kiss me and tell me you love me

When im quiet
Ask me whats wrong

When i ignore you
Give me your attention

When i pull away
Pull me back

When you see me at my worst
Tell me i'm beautiful

When you see me start crying
Hold me and tell me everything will be alright

When you see me walking
Sneak up and hug my waist from behind

When i'm scared
Protect me

When i lay my head on your shoulder
Tilt my head up and kiss me

When i grab at your hands
Hold mine and play with my fingers

When i tease you
Tease me back and make me laugh

When i dont answer for a long time
reassure me that everything is okay

When i look at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When i say that i like you
I really do more than you could understand

When i bump into you
bump into me back and make me laugh

When i tell you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When i look at you in your eyes
dont look away until i do

When i miss you
i'm hurting inside

When you break my heart
the pain never really goes away

When i say its over
i still want you to be mine

LADIES don't start fights,we FINISH them.

"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the heck alone.

This is funny!

Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?

If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS.

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda"

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look effin gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We notice 19 and 23.

Girls don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you ask walking people why they're running around so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

The Crazy Chain

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae tihs on yuor porfiel

If annoying people say you will one day out grow your love of fairytales although evidence proves otherwise, copy/paste this onto your profile.

If you believe Narnia is real, copy and paste this to your profile

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

If you think candy should have a larger triangle on the food pyramid copy and paste this to your profile.

If you believe in Neverland copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever made up a secret code for when you pass notes so even if the teacher caught you they wouldn't know what you were saying copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you are haunted by a ghost copy and paste this to your profile.

If you make spoofs at 2 in the morning with your friends because your parents don't care as long as your quiet copy and pastethis into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If for one of those statewide English essay tests where the question is, WHO IS YOUR IDOL? You have written a book character copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are a true book nerd,

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (I did that. Oops.)

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (like, um, magic powers, or taking a Fangish vow of silence, or trying to break Nudge's talking record)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (e.g. Too bad Caine is fictional)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.(Who wouldn't??)

You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock.

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.

If all of your friends were to jump off a bridge would you jump with them or be at the bottom to catch them. If you'd catch them copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that people who hate and hit children are mad/sick/stupid/horrible/heartless, copy and paste this on your profile

100 Things to do when ordering a pizza by phone
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST- EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be 10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." .Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
100. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say #100. in your best pouty voice,
"Last guy let me do it."

If you would totally do this Copy and paste it to your profile.

If you have ever seen a film, TV show, or anything of the like, and can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as uniquie, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question

, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

IF YOU LIKE WARRIORS, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're crazy and you know it, copy and paste this... If you're crazy and you know it, copy and paste this... If you're crazy and you know it, then your profile will surely show it...If you're crazy and you know it, copy and paste this. If you're crazy (and you know it), copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you usually get glared at for being too hyper and saying stuff that doesn't make sense copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever bursted out laughing in a silent room over something that happened yesterday, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I think the sky should be pink. How come we drive on parkways, but park on driveways? Or why are apartments called 'apartments' when they're all stuck together? Lemonade tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D

If two goose are geese, two moose should be meese! If you agree with this, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

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If you are one of the many writers who believe that your stories should garner more attention then your user page, yet still covers their user page with witticisms, quotes and "copy and paste this onto your profile" items, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they're right copy and paste this onto your profile.

Things to do on an Elevator

CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

MEOW occasionally.

STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

SAY -DING at each floor.

SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

SWAT at flies that don't exist.

CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

More Quotes:

~You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.

~Men aren't worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry.

~The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes.

~When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world try to figure out how you did it.

~Vertical - So vertical there is no horizontal.

~Work like you don't need the money. Love like no one had ever hurt you. Dance like nobody is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live like this is a paradise on Earth.

~Silence is golden but ductape is silver.

~It involved canned peas and an electric floor waxer.

~I think he was miming 'Disembowl him with a blunt spoon...'

~Can you do that with bread?

~Love... must always create sunshine, filling the heart so full of radiance, this it overflows upon the outward world.

~What other dugeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexcorable as one's self!

~I am a pink flamingo on the great lawn of life.

~Don't take life too seriously, it's not like you're getting out alive.

~I wanna blow stuff up with my mind.

Favourite Quotations

God did not create men and women equal ... don't worry; give him time and he'll evolve.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot.

Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.

That which doesn't kill you, will probably try again.

I'm not tense. I'm just very, very alert.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and stare at it forever.

The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.

Don't play dumb with me - I'll always win.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I used to have an open mind, but my brain kept falling out!

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them while nobody's looking.

They say that hard work never hurts anyone, but why take the chance?

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sounds they make as they go flying by.

There are very few problems that cannot be fixed with a suitable application of explosives.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time you need them, you probably won't ever need them again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night, I lay back in my bed staring up at the stars, and I thought to myself ... "Where the heck is the cieling?"

I'm not suffering from mental problems. I'm enjoying them.

You are slower than a herd of turtles trying to stampede through peanut butter.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they often repeat, word for word, what you shouldn't have said.

Our parents spend the first two years of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. Then they spend the next 18 years telling us to sit down and shut up.

Children are natural mimics who act just like their parents, despite every effort made to teach them good manners.

Anyone who says 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has clearly never tried it.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

You are only your true self when no one is watching.

If you want to fool the world, tell the truth.

War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.

We are not retreating ... we are advancing in another direction.

Mom told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore.

Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean I'm required to have a lot of common sense. Or any at all, for that matter.

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

My imaginary friend thinks you have seriuos mental problems.

I didn't deny it! I just didn't admit it!

Advice is what we ask for when we know the answer, but wish we didn't.

It is better to keep one's mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

Tell me what you need. I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive, anyway.

Are subliminal messages effective?

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run. Death hates that.

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you're up to.

No blood, no foul.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Only borrow from pessimists - they don't expect to get their things back.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

What is the speed of dark?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

A conclusion is the part of the essay that you wrote when you got tired of thinking.

To steal ideas from one person is plagarism. To steal ideas from many people is research.

Smile, and the world smiles with you. Laugh, and the world thinks you're on drugs.

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on eBay.

Eat right. Exercise. Die anyway.

You! Out of the gene pool, NOW!

Fight crime. Shoot back.

Don't regret doing things - regret getting caught.

We didn't lose. We just ran out of time.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, then lie.

If it can't be fixed with duct tape, you haven't used enough.

Duct tape is like the Force: it has a light side, a dark side, and holds the universe together.

Smile for no apparent reason. It annoys people.

You're only in trouble if you get caught.

It isn't paranoia when they really are out to get you.

Life sucks. Death is only slightly more amusing.

Good friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be sitting in jail with you, saying "Damn, that was fun!"

Not everyone hates you. Some small countries are neutral.

There are colours and there are flavours ... and then there is orange, which defies categorization.

Remeber I DID NOT write this, it is from someone else, but please, pick the right choice

My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all I ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

Please pass it on.

If you actually read all of this, you have way to much time on your hands.