Hey, I'm not in the mood to write a book.. so on with the profile. OH, one thing first: How unfair is it that everybody's a mythical creature these days! Whereas I'm just a (not so) lonely, (not so) old.. human. Sooo unfair.

Favourite Character:

Leah Clearwater.

Who's your favorite vampire?

Jasper Hale.

Who is your favorite werewolf?

Embry Call.

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

"Kiss me Jacob, kiss me and come back.." - Bella, Eclipse.

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

When he proposed

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

When they kissed at the battle in Eclipse.

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

When Alice kidnaps her, lol.

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

When they fought the newborns.

Which book cover was your favorite?

Eclipse.

Are these books among your favorite books?

It's a tie for first place with Harry Potter.

"Bella was all like 'Oh hey Edward!' and Edward was all like 'groin bulge'
And Bella was all like 'Oh hey Jacob!' and Jacob was all like 'Imprint on meeee!!'"

"Seven vampires, two of which have six medical degrees between them,
and Jacob Black figured out the vampire mutant needed blood? Good one."

"Yes, send Jasper to pick up Renee and Phil.
He likes to eat humans so it makes perfect sense."

"And everyone lived happily ever after. Except for Leah."

"Twilight is a trilogy, end of story."

"I felt like – like I don’t know what. Like this wasn’t real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom.
Instead of being the dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place
werewolf about to ask the vampire’s wife to shack up and procreate. Nice."

"If we had happy endings, we'd all be under gravestones."

"What do I look like? The Wizard of Oz? You need a brain? You need a heart?
Go ahead. Take mine. Take everything I have."

"Kiss me Jacob, kiss me and come back."

"You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing.
For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her."

"It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share."

"I don’t even like Bella Swan. And you’ve got me grieving over this leech-lover like I’m in love with her, too.
Can you see where that might be a little confusing?
I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

"I understand why your blond vampire is so cold – in the figurative sense.
She’s focused. She’s got her eye on the prize, right? Because you always want the very most what you can never, ever have."

"Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I’m sorry – I mean, shut up, most high Alpha."

"It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m joining your crappy little renegade pack. The vampires’ guard dogs."

"Wanna race, O fearless leader?"

"You think I’m just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?"

"That is easily the freakin’ grossest thing I’ve heard in my life. Yuck.
If there was anything in my stomach, it would be coming back."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"Despite my best efforts, I’ve seen you naked before – doesn’t do much for me, so no worries."

"Did you see Jake? Even Sam couldn’t have phased on the fly like that.
He saw Paul losing it, and it took him, what, half a second to attack? The boy’s got a gift."

"Well, the wolf’s out of the bag now."

"So that’s why Sam is all black. Black heart, black fur."

"You missed the party. Princess theme. She made me wear a crown,
and then Emily suggested they all try out her new play makeup on me."

"Jacob didn’t want to be a part of this… cult. I don’t understand what could change him. I don’t want to be next."

"And your chocolate fur reflects what? How sweet you are?"

"This isn’t about them. This is about Bella. She has never been the one for you,
she had never chosen you, but you continue to destroy your life for her!"

"Do you belong to a coven now, Jacob?"

"I guess I just violated the treaty."

"So, should I tell him you said to butt the hell out?"

"Okay, but if you’re going to get picky like that, you have to average in size, too.
You’re so small, I’ll have to knock ten years off your total."

"Here’s to responsibility. Twice a week."

"He looks at me like he’s waiting for something… like I’m going to join his stupid gang someday.
He pays more attention to me than any of the other guys. I hate it."

"I swear, they’re like hall monitors gone bad."

"I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence."

"So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn’t get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it’s the least you can do."

"What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach.
Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit."

"As long as you like me the best. And you think I’m good-looking—sort of.
I’m prepared to be annoyingly persistent."

"If you want to blame someone, why don’t you point your finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much?"

"You really, honestly don’t mind that I morph into a giant dog?"

"Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?"

"The hardest part is feeling… out of control. Feeling like I can’t be sure of myself—like maybe you shouldn’t be around me,
like maybe nobody should. Like I’m a monster who might hurt somebody."

"Bye, Bella. I really hope you don’t die."

"Sam would be mad if I broke the treaty, and you probably wouldn’t like it too much if I killed your friend."

"Sorry. I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial."

"I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends.
Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me."

"He thought you were the one person in the world with as much reason to hate the Cullens as he does.
Sam feels sort of… betrayed that you would just let them back into your life like they never hurt you."

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV."

"It’s awful. No privacy, no secrets. Everything you’re ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see."

"I forget what it’s like, not having everyone know everything all the time.
Having a quiet, private place inside my head."

"It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves.
When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her.
And you would do anything for her, be anything for her…
You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother."

"All the splendor of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience and expense of traveling to India."

"You won’t be Bella anymore. My friend won’t exist. There’ll be no one to forgive."

"I’m in love with you, Bella. Bella, I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him.
I know you don’t feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know your options.
I wouldn’t want a miscommunication to stand in our way."

"Until your heart stops beating, Bella. I’ll be here — fighting. Don’t forget that you have options."

"When are you finally going to figure out that you’re in love with me, too?"

"It’s just been my experience that some kinds of working relationships are better motivated by fear than by monetary gain."

"My instincts told me that there was danger, that the angel had meant it when she spoke of killing,
but my judgment overruled my instincts. I had not been taught to fear women, but to protect them."

"When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid,
aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?"

"I tell you, that dragon is the most horrible creature I've ever met,
but the way Hagrid goes about it you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit.
When it bit me, he told me off for frightening it. And when I left he was singing it a lullaby."

"It would've been so easy to push Malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident.."

"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry,
He's not exactly recent if he's six-hundred and sixty-five, is he?"

"Well, that clears that up, It would have been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."

"Oh, yeah, hey you lot! Midgets!"

"Accio Brain!"

"If they say yes, send Pig back with your answer pronto, and we'll come and get you at five o'clock on Sunday.
If they say no, send Pig back pronto and we'll come and get you at five o'clock on Sunday anyway."

"There's no need to call me Sir, Professor."

"I realised I can’t shut myself away or crack up. It could be me next, couldn’t it? But if it is,
I’ll make sure I take as many Death Eaters with me as I can and Voldemort too, if I can manage it."

"And the Death Eaters'd love to have me, we'd be best pals if they didn't keep trying to do me in."

"You know your mother, Malfoy? The expression on her face -
like she's got dung under her nose? Is she like that all the time or just because you were with her?"

"Well, think back, Have you ever let it slip that you'd like to go out in public with the words 'My Sweetheart' round your neck?"

"Warrington's aim's so pathetic I'd be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me."

"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."

"I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."

"Viktor? Hasn't he asked you to call him Vicky yet?"

"When two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."

"...From now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong."

"There you go, Harry, you weren't being thick after all - you were showing moral fiber!"

"You need your inner eye tested if you ask me."

"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough."

"And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!"

“I’m starving! All I’ve had since I bled half to death is a couple of toadstools!"

"Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts."

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.

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If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fan fiction, copy and paste this onto your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy and paste this onto your profile.

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If you have your own little world, copy and paste this onto your profile.

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If you have had a ‘Blonde Moment’ copy and paste this tono your profile.

If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost your sunglasses, then found then on your head, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost a bet to yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was up with their mind.
copy and paste this onto your profile if you would be one of the people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy ans paste this onto your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!!

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you think spiders are scary copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love inside jokes, but hate when you have no clue what some of them mean copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever feel like stuffed animals are looking at you copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are a true Slytherin and proud, copy and paste this to your profile.

Draco Malfoy believes he is God's gift to women, copy and paste this to your profile if you agree.

If you agree Blaise Zabini is the sexiest Italian known to man, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate it when you stumble across a slash, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have a crush on a book character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love werewolves, copy and paste this onto your profile.

The Ipod Test:

Put Ipod / music player on shuffle, the first song that comes up is the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

1. How does the world see you? Gotta Find You (Joe Jonas) I'm sought after then lol.

2. Will I have a happy life? Should've Said No (Taylor Swift) I have no idea what that implies, so I'll usume that's a "no"

3. What do my friends really think of me? Teardrops On My Guitar (Taylor Swift) So.. if they cry for me.. they must like me..?

4. Do people secretly lust after me? Fashion (Lady Gaga) Sooo.. they lust after my fashion then? Lol.

5. How can I make myself happy? Decode (Paramore) Urh... Moving swiftly on..

6. What should I do with my life? Forth Drink Instinct (Cute Is What We Aim For) No thanks.. I don't wanna be a whore when I grow up.

7. What is some good advice for me? So Yesterday (Hilary Duff) Remember I'm so yesterday? ...Lovely.

8. How will I be remembered? This Is Me (Demi Lovato) I will be remembered as being myself? Good.

9. What is my signature dancing song? Killa (Cherish) Great! I love that song.

10. What do I think my current theme song is? Right Now Na Na Na (Akon) ...No comment. But by saying no comment I commented.. hehe.

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? If You Seek Amy (Britney) Well.. that's sorta true, it is love me or hate me.

12. What song will play at my funeral? Not Fair (Lily Allen) Not exactly appropriate for a funeral, but it's not fair that I'm dead ;)

13. What type of men/women do you like? Mockingbird (Eminem) Uhh.. men with feathers? Or someone with wings? Like an angel?
Jasper Hale can be my angel anyday ;D

14. What is my day going to be like? Ridin' (Chamillionaire) Hmhh.. a gangsta day for me then ;D Cool.

15. What will tomorrow bring? The Best Day (Taylor Swift) AYAYAYAYA! Great :D

One Complaint To SM: Why doesn't Leah get a happy ending too?
One BD Question: Why do all humans disappear in this book?
One NM Question: Why, when Edward's trying to avoid a blood battle, does he push Bella into GLASS?
One Eclipse Question: Why is Jake all "Biker dude" at the beginning, then "Bella's Jake" again for the rest of the book?
Vampire Team: Team Hale.
Werewolf Team: Team Clearwater.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose - me or your life.
Boy: My life

-The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...-

"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life."

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

In Remembrance:

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!

She deserved everything she got and more.

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harrys first actual friend…

...who lived and died soaring.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock.
Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people?
Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds.
When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say,
"I'm sorry, I thought your paper would protect you, you idiot."

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind."

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."

"Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away."