Hey, I’m Luna! Distressed author, all that yadda yadda.

Ella. I’m the friend no one ever knows about.

Rose. The muse. Nice ta meetcha!

See, I’m not totally sane, I guess you could say, but I’m not insane enough to need a mental asylum. I talk to myself. Myself being Ella and Rose. I’m like that Daniel X guy. You know, the one who makes stuff with his mind?

Not really, but you get what I mean. I am Christian, a very strong one at that, but I try to be balanced, not shoving my beliefs down people’s throats, although I do get really, really mad when people try to convince me of evolution. NO one has EVER proved that any creature has gained things, only that they’ve LOST them. I don’t care if you believe it, I definitely don’t. So shut up about it before I SHOW you what evolution means. Let’s see how you live without an arm, hm? You’ll evolve to work around that loss. No offense intended. Also: I am not anti-gay, I’m just not comfortable around them. I’m unsure if I should dislike them because God says not to like them, or if I should love them because God says to love all people…still working out my mindset.

I do have a fictionpress account, same name. I dunno if I can put in a link, but I’ll try. It’s SeekDreamsAndFindHope, if that didn’t register the first time. No offense, that’s just the way I talk. I tend to have to deal with less than intelligent people who carry conversations on with me that go as follows. “Hi, I’m Luna.” “Hi, I’m insert name here I’ve never met you before. What’s your name?” “Luna.” “Nice to meet you, what’s your name.” “I just said it twice, it’s Luna.” “Don’t get smart with me! Why won’t you tell me your name?!” “growls for the THIRD time, My. Name. Is. Luna.” “Well, sorr-EE. You don’t have to get snippy with me! Gosh, people are so RUDE!! stalks off angrily” So, I kinda repeat myself a lot. I repeat myself a lot. Just one more reason to decide that High School is trying to kill me. Well, that and my evil PE teacher…I swear, that man makes us run more than he makes the football players! The only upside is while we girls run laps around the track, we get to watch hot boys play football, without the crowds.

Yeah. So. Um, did anyone go to Awakening Music Festival in the VA/DC/MD area, back on September 26, 2009? IT WAS AWESOME!! YEAH! Although I COULD have done without the rain…I don’t think my socks have dried out yet…wow, that was a LOT of mud…

laughs happily Sorry. I’m a happy kid, and laughing is one of my ways to get it out. But I don’t laugh often in public, since I sound like a choking hyena. Seriously. I like to wear black, simply because I like the way black contrasts with other colors. I think in a typical week, I wear four colors. Black, Red, Brown and denim blue. I wear jeans with everything, even silk blouses. Which are, yes, black. With tiny grey checks, but whatever. I just like Black. Occasionally, I will be forced into pink or purple, but I prefer dark colors. I LOVE the contrasts…

I’ve been called Goth and emo. I’m neither nor. No one seems to understand that black and red contrast really well, and no, it doesn’t stand for blood and death. Geez! I wear black and silver too, and I have this totally awesome t-shirt that I totally love, for Awakening Fest, and it’s black with this silver and white logo with a guitar in the center, a crown on the top, wings on the side, and flowers, like this gothic scroll type thing around the whole thing. And then there’s a banner below the crown but above the guitar and the wings that says “Awakening Festival”. I totally LOVE it.

Random facts about me: Never been kissed, and totally proud of it! It’s kinda funny—I’ve never dated or anything, ‘cept one of those go to the movies, run into a friend that’s a guy and sit together type things, but my friends still come to me for relationship advice and breakup comfort. It confuses me to no end.

I wear a God tag, but it's commonly mistaken for a dog tag. It has my birthday and my birthverse on it.

I’m a thirteen year old high schooler, I’m terrified of subways and I totally love reading, reading, reading.

I am a battle girl—I’m on the battle of the books team at my school and we WILL win this year! I have a very strong twelve track mind. If I said everything in my mind aloud, you would probably hear something like “Ooh, that’s cute, could I have popcorn? Would Luke get in trouble if he made pudding? Ooh, that’s cold! Dude, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Keep the PDAs to a minimum!” and a song would be playing in the background, rewinding, repeating and exploding with thoughts.

Two things make up my life; Music and Reading. I couldn’t live without either. Mess with my iPod and die. Mess with my books and be slowly tortured to death. I am not afraid to inflict pain, and I wouldn’t step between me and either of them. This has been your first and only warning.

WARNING, WARNING, TWILIGHT BASHING CONTAINED IN THIS AREA. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I hate Twilight with a burning passion. But I have sworn not to hate on stuff, so I’m just going to say I don’t like it, since it’s so much purple prose, and I really have read better books. Bella’s a whiny WWCAB (Witch with a Capital B), Edward’s a stalker-pedophile and mind-rapist, Jacob’s a child-grooming pedophile. The only one who I actually kinda-sorta like is Leah.

TWILIGHT BASHING OVER TWILIGHT BASHING OVER. I MEAN THE STEPHANIE MYER BOOK, NOT THE MEG CABOT BOOK OR THE ERIN HUNTER BOOK.

My Fave books…brace yourself…or better yet, just skip past it. I read about a book and a half a day, so I read a LOT. My faves include, and this is in no way the entire list…

Maximum Ride/The Angel Experiment/School’s Out—Forever/Saving The World and Other Extreme Sports/The Final Warning/MAX

Harry Potter/Sorcerer’s Stone/Chamber of Secrets/Prisoner of Azkaban/Goblet of Fire/Order of the Phoenix/Half-Blood Prince/Deathly Hallows

Sisters Grimm/Fairytale Detectives/The Unusual Suspects/The Problem Child/Once Upon a Crime/Magic and Other Misdemeanors/Tales From the Hood/The Everafter War

Gallagher Girls/I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You/Cross my Heart And Hope To Spy/Don’t Judge a Girl By Her Cover

Mairelon the Magician

The Enchanted Forest Chronicles/Dealing With Dragons/Searching For Dragons/Calling on Dragons/Talking To Dragons

Sorcery and Cecelia, or the Enchanted Chocolate Pot/The Grant Tour/Ten Years After

Flora Segunda/Flora’s Dare

The Hunger Games/Catching Fire

Graceling

Trixie Belden/The Secret of the Mansion (1)/The Red Trailer Mystery (2)/The Gatehouse Mystery (3)/The Mysterious Visitor (4)/The Mystery Off Glen Road (5)/The Mystery in Arizona (6)/The Mysterious Code (7)/The Black Jacket Mystery (8)/The Happy Valley Mystery (9)/The Marshland Mystery (10). I haven’t read 11-36 yet. My library doesn’t have them and I don’t feel like buying them…

AVATARS/So This Is How It Ends/Shadow Falling/Kingdom of Twilight

Unwind

And a lot more that I’m not writing, to spare your poor eyes.

Music...Fave Bands...Another long list...

Skillet

Fireflight

Superchick/Superchick

Cascada

Kelly Clarkson

KSM

78violet

Aly & AJ

Carrie Underwood

Celtic Woman

David Archuleta

Demi Lovato

Emily Osment

Hawk Nelson (band, not a person. You'd be surprised how many people ask if they're a person.)

Stellar Kart (also a band)

The House

Jump5

Katy Perry

Mark Harris

Martina McBride

Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana (only a few of her songs...I actually don't like most of them)

Mitchel Musso

Paramore

Play

Rascal Flatts

Savannah OUten

Selena Gomez/Selena Gomez and the Scene (like Hannah Montana, only some of her songs)

Sevenglory

Taylor Swift

Tiffany Giardina

Emma Roberts

Caleigh Peters

Michelle Branch

Hayden Panetierre

Raven-Symone

Tina Sugandh

Honor Society

Kirsten Chennowith and Idina Menzel (their duets are fantastic!)

Yiruma

ZOEgirl

My quotes...I have a LOT of these…

My Birthverse: “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it”. 1 Corinthians 12:27

Virginity Rocks: I’m loving my husband and I haven’t even met him yet!

“It is so much better to give, than to receive”. –Jesus- Acts 20:35

“Water is life’s matter and matrix, mother and medium. There is no life without water”. –Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, Nobel Laureate

“We must be the change we wish to see in the world.” Mohandas Ghandi.

“It is poverty to decide that a person must die so that you may live as you wish.” Mother Theresa.

“…This is a war. We must not continue to be debating, to be arguing, when people are dying.” Nelson Mandela.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, that is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead.

“If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong.” Abraham Lincoln.

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.” Martin Luther King Jr.

Dream on, for you may never have a chance, Dream on, for you may never live ‘til tomorrow, Dream on, for you are worthy of dreaming.

High school’s like the breeding ground of stupidity.-Mr. Totaro, my totally awesome WH teacher, even though he does give us like two essays a week. Stupid smart teacher person.

“You’re a killer, and from what I’ve been told, it’s against the law these days.” –Puck, Sisters Grimm book 2: The Unusual Suspects

“Tsk, Tsk. Looks like you haven’t learned the most important lesson of all. Always protect your butt.” Puck, Sisters Grimm Book 2: The Unusual Suspects

“This is your fault!" "My fault? How is this my fault?" "If it wasn't for you we wouldn't have two million zombie bunnies chasing after us!" "Guys?" "Well how was I supposed to know the kid was mentally unhinged?" "I don't know, maybe when we found him running from a dead body?" "Guys?" "What?!" "LOOK OUT!" Sabrina, Puck, and Daphne, The Sisters Grimm Book 2: The Unusual Suspects

“Of course I’m alive. I happen to be immortal.”Puck, Sisters Grimm Book 2: The Unusual Suspects.

“You have no idea how tempting it is to step on you right now.” “And you have no clue how big your nose hairs are.” Sabrina and Puck, Sisters Grimm Book 2: The Unusual Suspects.

“Keep your distance, men. Don’t be fooled into believing our enemies are helpless. These ‘girls’ as they call themselves are a crafty bunch. I’ve seen inside what they call a ‘purse’. It is filled with all kinds of toxic sprays and pointy things they wouldn’t hesitate to unleash on us.” Puck to his monkey army, Sisters Grimm Book 3: The Problem Child.

“I believe the world you are looking for is thank you.” Puck, after squee!! KISSING SABRINA!! Sisters Grimm Book 3: The Problem Child.

"Doomed! They're all doomed. Notice I didn't say what kind of doom it was, so whatever happens to them, I will have predicted it. How very wise of me." Angela, Inheritance Trilogy Book 1: Eragon

“Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang, Maximum Ride Book 1: The Angel Experiment

"I believe misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat."
-Dumbledore- Harry Potter…one of the books. Can’t remember which one right now…

"I vill now destroy de snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy, Maximum Ride Book 3, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

“If only I could learn to think before I blurt out cute remarks that aren’t cute to anyone but me.” Trixie. Trixie Belden # 3: The Gatehouse Mystery

“The one on my left with the funny-looking crew cut is Mart. The other odd-looking creature is Brian. I hate them both at the moment. They don’t believe we found a real diamond.” Trixie, Trixie Belden #3: The Gatehouse Mystery.

“Trixie loves housework. What she misses with a dust cloth would clog a vacuum hose.” Mart, Trixie Belden #3: The Gatehouse Mystery. (Trixie’s a tomboy…snickers)

“You’re fun to look at.” “Fun?” “I’d give a lot to achieve fun. The best I usually hope for is stirring, and when people say that they’re usually referring to digestion-“ Glinda, Boq and Elphaba, Wicked.

"TLALOC DOES NOT HEAR YOU." Tlaloc, the old, half-dead storm god of Meso-America, AVATARS, Shadow Falling.

"TLALOC IS NOT IMPRESSED. TLALOC IS RATHER AGGRAVATED! TLALOC IS CLOSE TO TEARING OFF HIS OWN HEAD!" Tlaloc, AVATARS, Shadow Falling.

"YOUR PATHETICNESS IS FAR GREATER THAN TLALOC SUSPECTED." "Well, that's really helping, thanks." Tlaloc and Tigre, AVATARS, Shadow Falling. (Can you tell I love Tlaloc's lines? Hate the god, love the lines...)

Leave your shoes here or die. Sign written by Kali in AVATARS, Shadow Falling.

"Okay. You and Gus are seriously driving me nuts. Yes, boo hoo, we're trapped in a post-apocalyptic future, Diana is dying and we're experiencing a little turbulence. Well, shut up about it already. I'm not little miss everything's-going-to-be-fine, happy happy sparkle sparkle no worries. If you want a cheerleader, you're going to have to wake up our chipper unconscious friend here." Kali, AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight. (And she manages to say this very...I wouldn't say happy, but not depressed either...especially since she threatens to turn their magical, folding flying boat back around and drop them back off in New York City for another goddess to kill so she can absorb their powers and destroy the rest of the post-apocalyptic world...)

"Hey, I found you a first aid kit, didn't I?" "I guess. Either that or a spice rack." Kali and Tigre, AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight.

"Ouch! That is SO RUDE! I was just trying to drink your blood! There's no need to try and kill a person! Sheesh!" A mosquito girl, after Tigre slapped at her when she was in mosquito form. AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight.

"Next time we save the world, let's have less climbing." "And stairs. Fewer stairs." Gus and Tigre, AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight.

"I'm sooorry I lost you for a while. I went on ahead to Africa and foound this beauuuuuuutiful place full of avooocados. I looooove avooocados. Sooo I'm afraid I got a bit distracted."Quetzie, AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight.

"One of them is standing on a cloud, bellooowing, "I'M THE GOD OF STORMS! I BRING THE THUNDER! I BRING THE LIGHTING! STOP RAINING ON ME!"" Quetzie, reporting on Tlaloc's attempt to stop Tigre's storms. AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight.

"I wonder what will happen when we break the mirror. Will be be stuck in Mexico? That'll be weird. 'International pop star emerges from cave in Mexico, covered in bat guano, after mysteriously vanishing for three weeks.' The media's going to go nuts. 'Strangest breakdown ever! What drugs is she on? Who's the mystery guy she ran off with?' Hope you're ready to be followed around by tabloid photographers all the time." "Yeah, that'll be much worse than being chased by homicidal gods and giant glass monsters. both laugh Let's worry about it later. We have an indestructible mirror to smash first." "True." Diana, Gus, Diana, AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight.

"She can't fly in there. And you might have noticed she's not exactly inconspicuous. How are we supposed to sneak up on them and smash the mirror with an enormous bird hopping along behind us?" Kali, AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight.

"This is Gus. My boyfriend." That felt a little odd to say, but "the guy who saved me from the underworld and gave me a reason to stick around in the real world" seemed a little complicated to explain right now. Diana, AVATARS, Kingdom of Twilight.

So this is how it begins. The final line in the AVATARS trilogy.

“You don’t neccecarily have a choice in what happens. What you do have a choice in is how you react.” Joanne, the awesome lady who stays with us when Mom and Dad go to conferences overseas. I forget who she said it was by.

“Hold on, don’t be in a hurry, things can move so slowly when you want to fly. Call it up, Keep it real, let me show how it feels, live your life, everyday is something new. See the light, find yourself, get your feet above the ground, take the hand that you’re given and shoot the moon.”Jump5’s song, Shoot the Moon, from the Album HelloGoodbye. Awesome song, BTW.

“Live today through the future’s lens, don’t you wanna wish you could reset and play it again. Stand up, write the soundtrack for your life, it doesn’t happen to you, you happen to life. Stand up, you know you’re going to have to fight, don’t wanna lose the will to find your life.” Superchick, So Bright (Stand Up), from the album Last One Picked.

“God, I want to dream again, take me where I’ve never been, I wanna go there, this time I’m not scared, now I am Unbreakable, it’s unmistakable, no one can touch me, nothing can stop me.” Fireflight, Unbreakable, from the album Unbreakable.

“I can’t always win. Sometimes, I have to take the freefall, and just let everything run its course.”

“Words are like names…You can learn them, you can forget them, but they’re always there in your mind.”

“I fall to fly.” Me, when people ask me why I like jumping down from stuff. What can I say? I like heights.

“I spread my wings and kiss the sky
Touch the ground and learn to fly.
But I am myself, me and I,
all alone, Lost am I.” A short poem I wrote for English, like two, three years ago.

“You. Spilled. Milkshake. On. My. Trixie. Book.” Me, when Luke knocked over his milkshake on my brand new (at the time) Trixie book. I was only like, seven. I remember, because we have a video of it, for two reasons. One, Dad had gotten a new video camera and was videotaping the whole thing on my birthday, and two, I tackled Luke soon after.

My fave pairings…

Fludo (Flora & Udo) – Flora Segunda and Flora’s Dare

Mang (Max & Fang) – Maximum Ride series

Patsa (Po & Katsa) – Graceling

Keeta (Katniss & Peeta) – Hunger Games

Puckabrina (Puck & Sabrina) –Sisters Grimm

Channy (Chad & Sonny) –Sonny with a Chance

Jixie (Jim & Trixie) –Trixie Belden

Menorine (Mendanbar and Cimorene) –The Enchanted Forest Chronicles

Daiara (Daystar & Shiara) –The Enchanted Forest Chronicles (or more specifically, Talking to Dragons)

Mag (Dag and Molly) – my story, Commanding Lightning

Galevolence (Gazzy and Mal, one of my OCs) – Commanding Lightning.

Commanding Lightning Picture Gallery

Ben! http://whattheforks.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/dakota-fanning-new-moon-2.jpg

Mal! http://www.onetalentsource.com/pmembers/Model/8554/2.jpg

Juju (Sweet Juju, pic 1) http://www.onetalentsource.com/portfolio_view_photo.full.cfm?ID=130020&photopage=2

Juju (Dangerous Juju, pic 2) http://www.onetalentsource.com/portfolio_view_photo.full.cfm?ID=156774&photopage=1

Di (without glasses) http://www.onetalentsource.com/portfolio/25907/

Gira (remember, she's fifteen) http://www.cultivationministries.com/graphics/hispanic-girl.jpg

Dag (non-morphed) http://lh4.ggpht.com/condegerald/SM8U6ncW-dI/AAAAAAAAlmo/KoHSpqlcraI/DanJongebloed02.jpg

Molly (pre-capture) http://www.onetalentsource.com/portfolio_view_photo.full.cfm?ID=175721&photopage=3

Emerald (imagine with chunky pink glasses) http://www.onetalentsource.com/portfolio_view_photo.full.cfm?ID=84691&photopage=1

Katrina http://www.conghiaccio.com/userimages/Sofia.jpg

COPIES AND PASTES. FEEL FREE TO SKIP.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight (NOT TRUE IN MY CASE! I ABHOR TWILIGHT. I MUCH PREFER THE GALLAGHAR GIRLS, MAXIMUM RIDE, OR SISTERS GRIMM), who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7, emmettcullendisorder, SeekDreamsAndFindHope

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

xxXXxx

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

...ever get accepted at the Gallagher Academy (especially...

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

The webcam.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The Secret Saturdays

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

1:30 AM

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

1:28 AM

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My breathing

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

A few hours ago, walking home from school.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

The other parts of someone's profile

9. What are you wearing?

Purple cherckered pajama pants, and a pink shirt.

10. Did you dream last night?

No.

11. When did you last laugh?

When I was looking at someone's profile.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A calender, pictures of my family, a christmas card, several million wires that go to the phone, the computer, my mom's laptop, the speakers, the camera, my ipod and several trillion other things, a big painting of a leaf, wall plugs and several light switches

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Yes. My classmate, Logan.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

Can't believe I'm doing this.

15. What is the last film you saw?

Um...Halloweentown High

16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

My own laptop!

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

I am completely insane and proud of it. I'm called Luna(tic).

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

I would make everyone nice and happy and kind and charitable and helpful and educated and willing to do whatever the community needed doing.

19. George Bush:

Complete Psychopath who tried to destroy the world.

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Lunella or Rose.

21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Dominic. No clue why, though.

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Heck yeah! Away from my family! OH YES!

xxXXxx

Even if you can't see Him, God is there! If you believe in God, put this in your profile!

I am A BOOKWORM, so I MUST be a dreamer

I am A DREAMER, so I MUST be insane (unrealistic)

I HAVE MANY DIFFERENT INTERESTS, so I MUST be unable to commit to one thing

I am an obsessive Grammar Fascist, engaged in a losing war against txt tlk. Join the fight!

98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever made up your own language just for fun, copy and paste this into your profile

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to0 seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora)

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter ~ (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny.
Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and
can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

Less than 1 percent of female teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you get excited over books, then copy this into your profile.

If you force your friends to read books you like, then copy and paste this.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

You're never alone...

93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.

Don't be one of those people.

Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.

Top 71 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15. Swat at flies that don't exist.

16. Tell people that you can see their aura.

17. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

28. Hold an auction.

29. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

30. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

31. Throw a rave.

32. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

33. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

34. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

35. Have a heated debate with yourself.

36. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

37. Drum on every available surface.

38. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

39. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

40. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

41. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

42. Propose to the other passengers.

43. Challenge people to duels.

44. Sell girl scout cookies.

45. Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

46. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

47. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

48. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

49. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

50. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

51. Shout "Food fight!"

52. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

53. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

54. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

55. Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

56. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

57. Make sushi.

58. Shave.

59. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops

moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

60. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

61. Practice your kung fu.

62. Make race car noises when people get on and off.

63. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

64. Fly a model airplane.

65. Do yoga.

66. Play the accordion

67. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

68. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

69. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

70. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

71. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

42. Dress like the professor.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Slamming a revolving door really is possible-you just won't get a BOOM.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Love ya!

Luna