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Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
Its official, I have given up on everything to do with Twilight. I have no clue what I was thinking.
The entire fandom (most of it, at least) sickens me now, so I'll most likely never be back.
I have no clue how you got to my profile, since I will be deleting everything to do with what I had here permanently.
Remember: "Live each day as if the Volturi were coming."
Oh, and go check out my beta's stories!! Her penname iskinziewriteslove. She absolutely the most amazing beta ever!!
Welcome to my profile,
Barev or Parev,
Aas salamu alaay kum,
Jum Reap Sour,
REMEMBER WHEN ...
Getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
Copy and pasties!!
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have read the Twilight Saga over 69 times, copy and paste this onto your profile. (...WAY more than that!!)
if you have ever read a 700 page book in one night, because you are so addicted, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about)
If you've ever completely forgotten what you were going to say, and then get told "it can't of been very important then." copy and paste this into your profile
when you know it was IMPORTANT, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever tripped up by walking UP the stairs and made a complete fool of yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you're like in another dimension, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your completely un-photogenic, even though your not normally that hideous, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever said something, at exactly the same time as someone else, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you keep reading these 'copy and paste this on to your profile' thingies and are starting to question yours and other's sanity, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've only ever fell in love with a fictitious vampire/character, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile. (I'm WAY past that stage)
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever walked into a room and forgotten what you came for, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think those kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever touched something cold, and immediately thought of the Cullens copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile
If you had a choice between human and vampire, and you would choose vampire, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I've already lost count of how many)
If several inanimate objects hate you, paste this onto your profile.
If you ever broke any of your bones, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-
If you are crazy enough to have just read through all these, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you love irritating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.
cool shape, eh?
The below statement is true.
Our Edward, Who art in Forks, Hallowed be thy sparkles. Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast, On Earth as it is in the meadow. Give you this day, our daily blood; Forgive us our heartbeats, As we worship Carlisle for giving you life. Lead us into temptation, Deliver us to you. For thine is the vampire, The music and the hotness, Forever and ever, A-Edward. (I find this beautiful)
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
Edward Cullen made every girl want a bloodthirsty vampire instead of a knight in shining armor.
An enemy of my enemy, is my friend.
I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.
I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I didn't fail, the past 10,000 tries just didn't work.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like fire.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
How many roads must a man walk down to admit he's lost?
It’s great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who’s bald.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over!
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
The cops never find it as funny as you do.
Forget a prince with a horse, I want a vampire with a volvo!!
Emmett is the Strongest,
Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENstrual anxiety, MENtal anxiety, MENopause, MENingitis. Notice our problems begin with MEN!!
Psh, screw the Dark Side. So what if they have cookies? Come to the Light Side, we have Edward Cullen!
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can't.
You have a right to your opinions; I just don't want to hear them.
I'm not easily distracted, I... Hey, is that guy SPARKLING??
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Live forever, or die trying.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, "You are wrong." This method works every time.
Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
When life gives you lemons throw them back and demand Edward.
Emmett, when you laugh, I’ll laugh. When you dry sob, I’ll dry sob. But when you get arrested for trying to be the hulk, I’ll laugh and tell Carlisle.
Do that again and I'll give you a papercut RIGHT IN FRONT OF JASPER!
Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop!
If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
It's Band GEEK, not Band NERD. If you are going to try to insult me, at least do it right!
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
In my world, pages 73-381 of New Moon don't exist.
If you can't beat them, join them
God made man, and then said, "I can do better than that," and made woman.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'"
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
When you wish upon a star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
There are easier things in life than finding a good man ... nailing Jell-O or ice to a tree, for instance.
Employee: Boss can I have the day off tomorrow?
Boss: So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have
Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which
With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This
We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available
We generously give 14 days vacation per year which
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you’re up too
There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
When life gives you lemons, take half and squirt those in the eyes of your enemies, and use the other half to make a refreshing glass of lemonade after all your hard work.
Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? Does it matter? Never mind.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
I wasn't born yesterday, and neither were you. If you were, congratulations on learning how to read at such a young age.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Can't eat pork,
Can't eat chicken,
Can't eat Beef,
Can't eat eggs,
Can't eat fish,
heavy metal poisons in their waters.
Can't eat fruits and veggies,
insecticides and herbicides.
I believe that leaves Chocolate and ice cream!!
Remember - - - 'STRESSED'
spelled backwards! is
Lessons Learned in Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
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