Hi y'all! Thanks you for taking time out of your busy lives to look at my stories!

There isn't much to know about me. I live in New Zealand (before you ask, visitors from the US and UK, yes, we speak English), I'm thirteen years old, and I do stuff just like any other teenager.

My life is pretty boring at the moment, but all will be well when the summer/christmas holidays come around!!... in eight weeks.

Oh yeah, and reviews really do make me write faster, so if you like one of my two long stories that aren't one-shots, and want me to update... well, now you know how to make me do it faster.

Favorite (and least favorite) things in the HP world!!

Favorite characters:

Harry P.- 'nuff said. He's the hero, and even though he's a Mary-Sue in his own right, I still love him.

Ginny W.- what's not to like? She's not a fan-girl with Harry, people. She grew out of that stage ages ago.

Remus L.- he's just so sweet, n'all.

Ron W. - I hate stories with him being portrayed as a prat. Sure, he's jealous in GoF, but the truth is, he's a very loyal friend.

Albus D.- only when portrayed in the right light, in FF's. In the books I don't like him.

Luna L.- she's just such a fun, bubbly character!

Least favorite characters (not in order):

Umbridge.- she's completely evil!

(Of course) Voldemort.- 'nuff said.

Snape.- He's a hero in the end, but in the six other books he's a total prat.

Hermione G.- I don't know why, but I just don't like her. Maybe it's her whiny attitude.

Favorite canon pairings:

Harry/Ginny- come on, those two are made for each-other! They just have so much in common. In all of my stories. It's also the main pairing in the books, guys. And Ginny is not a crazy stalker fangirl.

Ron/Hermione- while I'm not a big fan of Hermione in general, opposites attract, right? And I'm very fond of Ron. This pairing's been obvious since CoS, and I am firmly opposed to either of them being paired to anybody else.

Remus/Tonks- such a sweet pair!

Favorite non-canon pairings:

Luna/Anyone!-She's such a great character that she can be paired with practically anybody! (By "anybody", I mean males her age. Yes, that includes Harry, despite the fact that I love HG as well. I'm quite fond of a good Harry/Luna, but still don't like it as much.) It helps that she's paired with somebody in no books as well, because nobody has any feelings on their relationship.

Sirius or Remus with other people- but not together, and not slash. The woman can be from canon, but she can't be anybody who's in a different relationship in canon. OC's are fine as well, as long as they aren't Mary-Sues. They also have to be developed, not just random characters who jump in the story and start sleeping around. lA fine example of this is whydoyouneedtoknow's Dangerverse. Both Danger and Aletha are great characters, despite being OC's! And so developed, too.

Least favorite pairings, canon and non-canon:

Harry/Hermione. They are not meant for each-other, people! They're like siblings. Siblings. I have read one good story with Harry/Hermione, and you'll find it one my favorites list. That was because both were so OOC that I could bear it. Even then, I still wasn't very comfortable with it. Also, a Harry/Hermione ship usually portrays Ron as a jealous git, and Ginny as a crazy stalker. As you know if you are reading this, that's the sort of thing that will put me off a story, put me off enough that I'll never come back and hate the author forever.

Any form of slash. Yeah, I'm no homophobic, but the fact is, I'm not comfortable with the thought of it. I will read stories with slash in them, but only if they're really good and make up for it. Even then... Look, guys, Dumbledore's the only gay guy, and he doesn't get it with anyone. Also, almost whenever Harry is gay, he gets it together with Draco, or Lucius, or Voldemort. He doesn't like them, people. They're enemies.

Voldemort/Anyone- He's evil, and a snakey git. Please, he's never going to pair with anyone.

Umbridge/Anyone- please, don't make me throw up by writing about it.

Lily/Anyone but James, and James/Anyone but Lily- while LJ isn't my favorite ship, it's very important, and obvious that they couldn't be with anyone else. Even if James is a prat, and Lily is too.

Snape/Anyone- despite the fact that I find it really creepy, Snape is in love with Lily. Anyone else- no, it doesn't work. And Snape's daughter can't just jump into the picture and become Harry's soul-mate. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but that doesn't stop people from reading about it.

Note: All other pairings are more or less in the middle, though my preferences my change.

Favorite things in a FF

Wrong boy-who-lived. Yes, I know it's cliche, but I like it, OK? Some, I admit, are really bad, but some are just the opposite. I am actually writing my own wrong bwl story write now, and I encourage you to try it out. I try to keep my story from becoming too cliche.

Super!Harry- while it can be overdone, and sometimes horrible, I enjoy seeing Harry with great powers. Throw the kid a lifeline after the horrible life he has, people! However, these stories quickly become tiresome after they start focusing on Harry's awesome, work-out schedule.

Black family stories! They're good, especially the older generations, and there's nothing you can do to change my mind.

Least favorite things in a FF

Mary-Sues! Give us a break, writers! We don't always enjoy seeing Harry make out with Voldemort or Snape's daughter, or have said daughter go from the Dark to the Light because of her love for Harry. I won't go on, because it'll take all day.

Creature!Harry- horribly overdone. I can't count how many "Harry turns sixteen and receives inheritance from his mother/father!" stories I've read. Especially when it's Veela parentage and he "bonds" with Draco Malfoy. Or worse, the other way round.

Voldemort realising his evil and becoming good again- while this can be all nice and fluffy, the story's gotta have an enemy, people. Do you think JKR would have made millions with books full with fluff about Harry's wonderful life, etc., etc., etc.? And I think it's way, way too late for Voldemort to redeem himself. In any case, I can't see Harry, or anybody else, for that matter, forgiving Voldemort, just because he's "a better person". Azkaban or death, I say!

List twelve random HP characters , in no particular order. Then answer the questions about them.

1.) Remus Lupin

2.) Harry Potter

3.) Nymphadora Tonks

4.) Sirius Black

5.) Ginny Weasley

6.) Teddy Lupin

7.) Luna Lovegood

8.) Neville Longbottom

9.) Cho Chang

10.) Cedric Diggory

11.) Lily Potter II

12.) Ron Weasley

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Teddy/Lily: Sure, lots of times.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Sirius Black: Mmm, definitely before Azkaban, and in AU stories.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Ron Weasley got Neville Longbottom pregnant? Huh, I dunno. Not a big fan of MPREG myself, so... yeah, it probably wouldn't be a very good plot line anyway.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Cho Chang? I haven't actually read any specifically, just about her, but heaps of fics with her in it.

5. Would two and six make a good couple?

Harry Potter and Teddy Lupin? No. Just... no. Pedo, anyone?

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Ginny/Cho or Ginny/Cedric? OK, never Ginny/Cho, and while Ginny/Cedric would have to be very good to pass my standards for Ginny/Somebody other than Harry, it could wor.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Luna walking in on Ron and Harry? I dunno... in canon, she'd probably do nothing. In some fanfiction, she might join in.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Remus/Neville? Well, if there is, I've never read it, and never want to. Oh, wait, there is. But very little.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Luna/Ron? Hmmm, I dunno... "There's still Snarkle-horned Snorkacks." Weird, but I'd like to see you do better.

11. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

Harry/Sirius/Ginny, huh? I hope not. I really, really hope not.

12. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

For Neville Longbottom, probably that "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" song.

13. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Remus/Teddy/Ron? SLASH, INCEST

14. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Ginny? Uh, last night.

15. 1 and 8 are in a happy relationship until 5 runs off with 9. After 8 dumps 1 for 2, 6 gets upset and retaliates by dating 12. Alone and broken-hearted, 1 travels in search of a friend. Finally, 1 meets 4 and 7. The three loners meet 10, who tells each of them to look for love. 4 finds 3, 7 gets 11, but now 1 is stuck in a never-ending love triangle with 6 and 12! Title?

Remus and Neville are in a happy relationship until Ginny runs off with Cho. After Neville dumps Remus for Harry, Teddy gets upset and retaliates by dating Ron. Alone and broken-hearted, Remus travels in search of a friend. Finally, Remus meets Sirius and Luna. The three loners meet Cedric, who tells each of them to look for love. Sirius finds Tonks, Luna gets Lily, but now Remus is stuck in a never-ending love traingle with Teddy and Ron! Title: Fcked up! Remus/Teddy/Ron again? What?

News

October '09

I'm working on Fish in the Water at the moment. I probably won't update Lily Luna for a long time yet.

RULES FOR LIFE AT HOGWARTS

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms.

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.

8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy.

10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "Time of the Month."

11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.

12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout, "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"

15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor.

17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental.

18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends."

20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.

21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

22) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting, "I got the power!"

23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Highly inappropriate, albeit very funny.)

24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom.

25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.

26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.

27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."

30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.

32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.

33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot, gay sex will occur.

35) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagal that she takes herself too seriously.

36) "Ya'll check this shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental spell.

37) I will not say the phrase, "Dude, get a life," to Voldemort.

38) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. (He will take you up on it.)

39) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

40) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight:

1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon.

2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.

3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.

4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.

5. Author Stephanie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.

6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.

7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.

8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.

9. When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.

10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.

11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you.