Author has written 1 story for Changeling, Steve Feasey.
we all have experienced things change in a matter of seconds. Me for instance. 4 years ago when my Pop died. According to my dad the doctors said that he would be able to leave the hospital at a later date. 30 minuetes later he was in cardiac arrest. We all greatly miss him. R.I.P Geoff Dickson 24 April 2008. My 2nd note today is about the Australian Soldiers who died last night. I posted this on facebook ad it came to mind. And it deserves to go here. They say that 2 sacrifices can win a war, and it can. But at the same time it causes sadness. Grief to family & friends. You shall never be forgotten. R.I.P and Lest we forget. End note.
1. YOUR REAL NAME: Matthew
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Matizzle.
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav colour and fav animal): Electric Blue Wolf
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (Middle name and current street name): Geoffery King
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): DicMamur
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favourite color, favorite drink): Lime Green 100+
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of your siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):Acuolj.
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name): Joy 6.
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Kitt
Name: You don't need to know, Thats Classified... ( But if you're smart, You could read above...)
Rank: Alpha Male
Stuff i like! Werewolves, Dragons, Halo, N4S, COD, Cars, Guns, ROLERCOASTERS! DINOSAURS!
Stuff i dont like! Fire, Ke$ha, crap music Annoying people
The Howling!! Dead...
Hearts can be fixed, Not with tape. LIVING WAIT PULSE JUST DIED!!
JP4: It's trying...
The Catalyst: Not Sure
I got another story forming in mind.
Stuff i listen to:
1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iby-dzo8HMk&feature=related the kid's arn't allright by offspring
2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO1y7WQfD9c Rock Anthem For Saving The World
3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNQFgt3EOs0&feature=fvw Halo War (Rock Theme Music
4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psuRGfAaju4 fireflies by owl city
5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvoeeq-BH4w thunderstruck by AC/DC
6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8rZWw9HE7o Danger zone off Top Gun movie
7: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj4vQCA0fo4 ace of spades
8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtqjmuUaYXA Black betty
9 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSADxMocaHs don't stop me now
10: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsGWLpJ9szk Bleed it out
11: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1YJbldJjzE Animal
12: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07Y0cy-nvAg No sleep till brooklyn
12: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv_ao9B1QIk Lazy Generation.
13 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdlS7tab5rQ Mr Crowly Ozzy Ozzborne
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btLRy4EHF0k Paradise city Guns & roses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnSp9rgfel8&feature=fvst Ain't no rest for the wicked
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o183lnrwFUI&feature=fvst I WANNA ROCK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o-WY7C8ztI&feature=related Hard act to follow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiHXBkZYJZM&feature=related INDIANA JONES!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvCI-gNK_y4 GET OUT OF THE WATER JAWS IS COMING AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTsBJiq633E&feature=related Jurassic park
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjMNNpIksaI STAR WARS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD8LcP3m8fg DISTRICT 9 THEME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYBfEdEoAUY Everyone lov3s top GEAR!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CYDgezeQas QUICK INTO THE TARDIS IT"S DOCTOR WHO!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NlDMLRDZUE Saddle up for NCIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVyawjr9m-c KICK START MY HEART!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMePM9Q-bYk&feature=fvst WHAT I'VE DONE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFb4IVLXDss&feature=related THUNDER BIRDZ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnH7bXF7nCk&feature=related BURNOUT PARADISE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMD7Ezp3gWc I WANNA BE SED8TED
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4er9gIn9hM Wr3tches & kings LP!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZyDiuzpHCg BLACKOUT AGGGGHHHHH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poVNKB-qOW0&feature=related The Catalyst LP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJDYAGqJcuk Fight Song GC!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV8vp2aCfP8&feature=related LA remix GC!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiEvLJ2wc8A All Black Remix GC!
Anything Linkin park or Good Charlotte!!EMINEM!!!!!
Fave book: the cherub series, Steve Feasey, Girl with the dragon tattoo, Wereworld, Monster Republic, Stephen King, Matthew Reilly.
Fave movies. District 9, Jurassic Park (Series) GWTDT, Inception, Big Bad Wolf, Stephen king, Alpha & Omega
Fave games: Halo Series, COD series, Fallout 3 and NV, Need 4 speed Series.
Other stuff: Im random...
And I"M A WEREWOLF SO WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
IF THIS MAKES YOU CRY THAN COPY PASTE IT TO YOUR PERSONAL DISCRIPTION!
IF YOU ARE A HEARTLESS BITCH THAN PRESS THE EXIT BUTTON ON YOUR WINDOW AND NEVER THINK ABOUT THIS AGAIN!
If you think Coke is better than Pepsi, copy and paste this on your profile.If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to SLUG them, put this in your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, put this in your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who hasn't, put this in your profile.
95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the five percent who aren't, put this in your profile.
Admitting you are weird means that you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, put this in your profile.
If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile.
If you have ever pasted anything on your profile, paste this on your profile.
If you aren't me, paste this on your profile
If you have ever talked back to your TV because of what someone on the show said, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
I HATE APPLE COMPUTERS. But i have 2 ipods...
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE:
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! And the dark side is sooo much better than the good side!
9.you get to wear a white lab coat (ooh la la)
10.you can access our stock of cool evil gadgets (aka a blender and toaster.)
11.you get to wear tall black shiny boots and a black shiny belt (NO SUSPENERS! WE'RE NOT FIREFIGHTERS OR PEOPLE WHOSE PANTS FALL DOWN!)
12.you get to wear creepy maskshttp://login.fanfiction.net/account/profile.php
13. key word: POWER you get lots of it
14.all of the black capes have cool inside pockets to hold my secret bunny collection. did i just say that out loud?
15.we get a vacation unlike the jedi's
16.we can do dangerous things like sky diving or eating chili or sunbathing(though it is hard to sunbathe when you are wearing black)
17.we get to order our minons around
18.when no one is looking, we have funny faces contests
19.we love to mix stuff in the blenders and dare each other to drink it
20.sometimes, we hijack the tv studios and make our own commercials
21.HOT BAD BABES!!
22.you get to act stupid any time and people are to afraid to laugh at you
23.the reason you joined
As you lie back your muscles tighten.
You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid, and you shake your head bravely and mumble no.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-- he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel slight trickle of blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.
Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.
He begins moving in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few frenzied moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.
He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
Keep reading on below...
You smile and thank your dentist!
After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
What were you thinkin'?
PERVERT I know what you were thinking!
This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (Bold ones are me)
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails (I was only 7!!)
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit someone else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do. (I do that all the time.)
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions(I always do that)
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone.
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth
Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
-Do you make an effort to be an idiot..or is it a gift?
-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
-I was thinking, while I was running... about not hitting trees, I hope.
-Forget love..I'd rather fall in chocolate!"
-Yes, I'm weird. No, I don't care."
Things I hate about people:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their but to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why in the world would you keep looking after you've found it?
5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.
6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say 'life is short'. What the freak?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I still be standing here? I don't think so.
10 When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know why he pulled you over. You should know stupid, you freaking pulled me over!
Stupid recall warnings:this proves how stupid people are
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 3 year olds off those bob cats.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genatails
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
you laugh right now because you are older than me lets see whose laughing when your 30 and I'm 28 or 29.