Two of your favorite authors...just became one!!

5/11/09

JokernHarley is fiercely updating her story. The keys tap loudly as her eyes stare transfixed at her next brilliant chapter. Suddenly, her door is thrown open by Alex Snape, who is smiling brightly.

"Morniiing, pal!" she shouts annoyingly.

JokernHarley jumps in her seat. "Dammit, woman! Can't you see I'm updating!"

Alex Snape grits her teeth, giving her an embarrassed look. "Ooh...sorry! My bad. I'll just go sit over here then." She sits down on the bed while JokernHarley continues to type. She is interrupted again by a loud crunching noise. She turns to see Alex Snape putting ice from a big cup into her mouth and chowing down.

JokernHarley sighs. "Do you mind?"

Alex Snape sets down her drink, grabs a Joker figure from the dresser, and lies on the bed. "I'm sorry."

"Put him down!"

Alex Snape shoots up, nearly dropping the precious Joker maquette. "Ahh! What? What?"

"Put him down! Mark Hamill signed him!"

Alex Snape looks at the maquette. "Oh my, God! He did! How cool is..."

JokernHarley stands up and stomps over and grabs the figure. She pets his little head and sets him gently back on the dresser. "Now...there you go, my precious. I won't let that girl defile you."

Alex Snape raises her eyebrow. "Uhh...did you just talk to it?"

"He's not an 'it.' He's a god."

"Uh huh...that thing isn't so great anyways."

JokernHarley gasps. "What? You're just jealous that I have him."

Alex Snape scoffs. "Please. Me? Jealous that you have a Batman Animated Series Joker figure. He doesn't beat my Dark Knight Joker figure."

"BTAS Joker came waaay before DK Joker, moron."

"Oh, I know you just didn't call me a moron."

"Yup...I did, girly. Besides, my Mistah J is smarter than yours."

"What?" Alex Snape stomps over to JokernHarley. "Smarter? At least my Mistah J doesn't waste his time with a chemistry set to make some gay potion."

"It's called Smilex! And it's deadly."

"It's gaaaayyy!"

"At least my Joker has a bag full of clever weapons. All yours has is a wimpy knife."

"Correction: he has like twenty knives! And they're not wimpy! You'd see how wimpy they are when they're run through your..."

"Here we go! The whole 'killer smile' crap! That's old now, sweetheart, you know, let's put a smile on that face, BS."

Alex Snape grabs the BTAS Joker maquette and holds it out the window. JokernHarley gasps. "You...wouldn't...dare..."

"Would I?"

JokernHarley huffs and grabs Alex Snape's DK Joker figure. She screams. "Put him down!" She sees her so-called friend bring a hammer out from under her bed and raises it over DK Joker's painted head. "Don't hurt him!"

"Put my Joker down, or this Mistah J here won't be able to tell anymore annoying stories about his scars!"

Suddenly, the bedroom door swings open and a voice echoes off the ceiling of the bedroom. "You're going to both put us down and shut the hell up!"

The girls turn and their jaws drop to see BTAS Joker and DK Joker...IN THE FLESH...and they look really pissed off. DK Joker stomps over to Alex Snape and grabs the Joker maquette and throws it out the window. JokernHarley screams while real BTAS Joker laughs and grabs the DK Joker figure. He tears off the head as Alex Snape gasps.

JokernHarley and Alex Snape stare at each other with rage and, somehow forgetting that the Jokers they love are actually standing in the room with them, they lunge at each other and start a full-blown cat fight.

"Bitch!"

"Whore!"

BTAS Joker guffaws at the tops of his lungs. "Look at 'em! Hahahaha! I got twenty on the tall one! She's got some fire in her!"

DK Joker just puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head. "Dreadful display, ladies...at least remove some type of clothing."

BTAS Joker leans onto DK Joker's shoulder and points out, "You know what's really funny about this? They're fighting over some measly pieces of plastic and totally ignoring that the real versions are watching them go at it like alley cats." DK Joker pushes him off and shushes him, but it's too late. The girls stop fighting and look up at the two villains who are now looking down at them with wide eyes. "Nice going," DK Joker growls.

45 minutes later...

JokernHarley is typing furiously, but suddenly stops and looks under her desk. "Could ya rub a bit harder, love?"

BTAS Joker looks up at her from the floor and gives her a dirty look. "If I rub any harder, I'll be hitting bone. AHHH!" He rubs where the shock collar is buckled around his neck.

"Shockey shockey," JokernHarley says, waving the remote by her head.

BTAS Joker growls and continues to rub her feet, swearing under his breath.

DK Joker chuckles. "Don't be so grouchy, Smiley. This ain't so bad."

"Oh, yeah, Scrappy? That's just because you got the sweet end of the deal."

"More Oreos, Mistah J?" Alex Snape coos as DK Joker lays on his back on the bed.

He sighs and grins at her, "Sure thing, sweetness. Why not?" He puts his hands behind his head. "I could get used to this."

"So could we," JokernHarley says, looking at an equally happy Alex Snape.

"Alex! Aleexx! Wake up, you moron!!"

"Huh? What?"

"Your dumb ass fell asleep on my bed and your head was resting on my Joker maquette! He's covered in drool!"

"You woke me up for that?!"