So! Another one of those open-ended profile thingamabobs where you try to draw people in with smart comments and keen wit. Well... nipples.

Now that I've so proudly displayed the full extent of my sense of humor, I might as well write something slightly relevant to the interested reader, if such a person exists.

I'm relatively new to writing fiction, and as a result, I'm pretty inconsistent with my writing style and also, unfortunately, with updates. Right now, I'm going through this phase where I can sit back and think about plot-lines and character development for hours and hours, but when it comes time to sit my ass down and write, I always have something else to do. As a result, I'm not nearly as prolific as I could be, and the vast majority of my ideas never come to light. Which, for you, is probably a good thing.

When I do attempt to write, I find myself drawn to certain characters that interest me the most. Chances are, they'll be the focus of most of my fics. In general, I'm not very loyal to pairings, though there are exceptions.

I should also note that my pen-name used to be "V for Very Very Naughty", but I changed it. Because it was silly.

Characters that interest me:

- Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy, Faith, Anya

- Strawberry Panic: Yaya, Chikaru

- Maria-sama ga Miteru: Sei, Yumi

- Mai-HiME/Otome: Shizuru, Haruka, Tomoe, Midori, Nao

- Harry Potter: Sirius

- Xena: Callisto

- Revolutionary Girl Utena: Utena, Juri, Touga

Pairings I'm faithful to:

Buffy/Faith

Yaya/Tsubomi

Yumi/Sachiko

Himeko/Chikane

Kim/Shego

Pairings I enjoy:

Anya/Xander, Andrew/Xander

Tamao/Nagisa, Shizuma/Nagisa, Kaname/Momomi

Noriko/Shimako, Sei/Youko, Rei/Yoshino

Shizuru/Haruka (if you're interested in seeing an argument on behalf of this pairing, look no further; just keep on reading), Haruka/Yukino, Shizuru/Natsuki, Shizuru/Tomoe, Nao/Nina, Nao/Mikoto, Nao/Midori, Mai/Natsuki

Sirius/Remus, Harry/Draco

Callisto/Xena

Juri/Utena

Reiko/Korona

I will now use the rest of my profile to rant about my Mai-HiME obsession, Haruzuke, which is a shortened name for Haruka/"Bubuzuke". I'm doing this for several reasons, the most obvious of which is the desire to make a solid case for one of my favorite pairings of all time (and this way, I only need to type it out once). Most importantly, I want to bring a bit of fresh perspective into the Mai-HiME community on issues that are, in my opinion, overlooked.

It kinda bugs me that there seems to be this unspoken pairing convention in the fandom. Even when the focus is on one of two characters in particular, if the story somehow involves the rest of the cast, nearly every fanfic writer will pair them up in a similar fashion. Haruka gets Yukino. Takumi gets Akira. Akane gets Kazuya. Midori gets Youko. Chie gets Aoi. Mai gets Mikoto/Tate/Reito, in that order of popularity. And finally, Natsuki gets either Shizuru or Nao, depending on which side of the fence you're on. Really, any sort of debate is pretty much limited to, "who deserves Natsuki: Shizuru or Nao?" Nevermind that Natsuki doesn't seem to have feelings for either of them; we're gonna shower her with romantic yuri fanfiction anyway because she's the cute, mysterious-looking tsundere with a motorbike. Yay!

Which brings me to the first part of my argument: Haruka.

As far as subtext goes, Haruka shows more romantic interest in Shizuru than Natsuki ever does. It sounds far-fetched, but it's really not. During the Tamayura Festival, Haruka and Yukino are standing at the ribbon-tying place and Haruka is wearing her characteristic frown of disapproval. But as soon as Yukino mentions Shizuru, she whirls around to try and catch a glimpse of her. She constantly talks about her, and even has a pet name for her - and yes, I realize that she really means it in a negative light. But Shizuru has always seemed to rile her up without too much effort. Like it or not, she's obsessed.

Her main complaint seems to be that Shizuru charms other people into doing her work, but really, "other people" seems to equate to just Haruka. I find it pretty suspicious that despite Haruka's exaggerated antagonism toward Shizuru, she still falls for her trap every single time. What really sealed it for me, though, is the scene where Haruka and Yukino call her out on her feelings for Natsuki. Yukino says that all Haruka wanted was for Shizuru to acknowledge her... that's a pretty strong sentiment if you ask me. I think we're supposed to read it as Haruka being so competitive that she wants to be honored by those she has deemed her enemies, but there's also this huge, underlying subtext to it, isn't there?

Haruka doesn't yet seem to have the capacity to deal with something as complicated as love or attraction, so she does what little boys do toward girls they have crushes on: express rivalry and resentment. From Haruka's various reactions toward Shizuru, this certainly seems to fit the bill. She wants her attention and respect, yet behaves belligerently toward her, and then mopes about it afterward. She herself may not see it, but Yukino and Shizuru do, and it adds a whole other layer of meaning to the battle between Kiyohime and Diana.

Up until now, Yukino has not been able to do anything about Haruka, or about Haruka's attraction to Shizuru. She just sits in the background and watches Shizuru manipulate the girl she loves while her own feelings of resentment grow. So even though she's kind of betraying herself by letting Haruka call Shizuru those nasty names just because she's in love with a girl, she goes along with it anyway and actually feels some real anger toward her. In killing Diana, I think Shizuru is calling her out for that hypocrisy... and also telling her that she's powerless. She's hypocritical because she herself feels the same way about Haruka. And she's powerless to save Haruka from death... and also powerless to save her from Shizuru. Recall that after Yukino discovers the true purpose of the Carnival, she actually tries to ambush Mai at one point. So, she and Shizuru are really not that different; in fact, she actually takes it one step further by attacking while unprovoked. The biggest difference is that Kiyohime is... well, badass.

If we really wanna go in depth, I think Haruka thrives on rigidity. Life is simple for her so long as everything can be organized into neat little categories. She works hard, upholds regulations, and protects the meek from the bad guys. Strength, skills, and GUTS!! It's quite simple, really. So I think the reason why she's so bothered by Shizuru, is because she can't compartmentalize her so easily. This may be due to Shizuru's somewhat duplicitous nature... but I think it's also due to her own complicated feelings for the girl. Shizuru represents something outside of her comfort zone, and I think that after she goes off to college and broadens her horizons, she'll eventually be able to come to terms with this part of herself.

Shizuru, on the other hand, wants Natsuki. There's no doubt about that. "Katakoi Enka" still sends shivers down my spine.

But how much of that is "love", and how much of it is just Shizuru's personal issues? I think Shizuru is obsessed with Natsuki because she represents a freedom that Shizuru has always yearned for but never had. While these feelings are very intense, I don't necessarily think they'd be grounds upon which she could build a healthy relationship. It sure as hell makes her an interesting character though.

Shizuru is someone who enjoys an enormous level of social success. She's charming, classy, and ladylike, with a nice accent to boot. People are drawn to her soft smiles and gentle demeanor. She's admired by the student body because she is calm and professional, and nothing ever seems to faze her. Judging by her actions toward the end of the series, however, I think it's safe to say that most of that is just a facade. She holds a lot of resentment and rage toward the ignorant masses, and her attraction to Natsuki is actually a testament to that. Natsuki is someone who has never been impressed with Shizuru's outside appearance, nor does she ever feel compelled to smile when she doesn't mean it. While many might find that rude, Shizuru is drawn to it like a fly to honey, because all she really wants is to be free of her cage. Cause you know that holding her emotions in to the extent that she does can't possibility be healthy. That calm smile that shows up on her face right after Natsuki rejects her is positively chilling.

It kind of makes you wonder, though, exactly how Shizuru came to be like this. I can only guess that she learned it from her parents. Chances are, she was emotionally repressed, or discouraged from a very young age to truly express herself. And in the estrangement that followed, she learned to be cold, and to see people as objects to be manipulated. Nonetheless, there's a part of her that yearns to be able to love. Along comes Natsuki, with her aloof rebelliousness, and Shizuru falls head over heels. It's the injured child mentality. There's a disparity between the image of Natsuki she believes she's in love with, and the way that Natsuki truly is - and this becomes exceptionally clear when Natsuki urges her not to kill Diana but she doesn't listen. At that point, it's no longer about protecting Natsuki, not really. It's about all the rage and hurt that's she's kept bottled up inside for so many years. Natsuki is just an excuse. The truth is, I think she would have snapped at some point, even if the Carnival didn't happen.

The battle between Duran and Kiyohime is a turning point in her life, and it is here that we learn that Shizuru did not snap because Natsuki rejected her romantically. Natsuki again turns her down, but this time, Shizuru says that she's "fulfilled". The difference now is that she knows that Natsuki does not abhor her. All she wants is Natsuki's acceptance. Why? Because Natsuki is everything she wishes she could be.

In moving forward from the Carnival, I think Shizuru needs to work on her own issues, first and foremost. If she doesn't want a repeat of the mass murder episode, she'll need to either seek professional help, or do some serious soul searching. Probably both. In doing so, her disdain for people in general will diminish, and she'll be able to become a true friend to Haruka. She may even be able to open her heart to real love, if she chooses to let Haruka in.

Of course, you're probably asking at this point: why Haruka? And my answer to that is: Haruka is the only person in the series bull-headed enough to smack some sense into Shizuru. Even after she's gotten her anger issues worked out, she'll still have the habit of hiding her real emotions behind teases and smiles. Haruka is the only one who would thump her over the head for it. Shizuru has a habit of overcomplicating things, and Haruka has a habit of oversimplifying things. Together, they could balance things out quite nicely, and give us some quality comedy while they're at it. Also, once Haruka sets her mind on something, good luck trying to stop her. If she wants to make a relationship work with Shizuru, she will make a relationship work with Shizuru, no matter how much Shizuru's going to overthink it at some moments and run in fear at others. I don't think Natsuki has the sheer willpower and bullheadedness to keep Shizuru grounded, not the way Haruka does. And since I honestly believe that Haruka has feelings for her in the show, it all comes together quite nicely.

I used this analogy in a conversation with a friend the other day, and I'll repeat it here because it's fitting. Shizuru is like a giant, complicated labyrinth. Natsuki could try to navigate it, but chances are, she'll get lost. Haruka would just tear through the walls and travel in a straight line to the finish point.

And that, my friends, is why I will forever and always be a Haruzuke-onna.

By the way, I challenge anyone, ShizNat-shipper or otherwise, to come up with a counter-argument to all that. If you think you can win a debate with me, PM me and we'll talk.