FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| MaxCullen-Whitlock |
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Author has written 3 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter, and Bridge to Terabithia. Fave Quotes: Just pretend that you have an imagination.- my bff/twin-sister-in-all-but-blood Alice He was stupid. If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn't have enough time to sleep. -Alanna, in In the Hand of the Goddess by Tamora Pierce I was told you were Jonathon's lover once. Is that why he made you Champion? I'm the only one with insanity in my family- Alanna, Song of the Lioness Quartet, Tamora Pierce Ah. The ground bloodied yer nose, split yer lip, and punched ye in th' eye, all to once. Would ye prefer to say 'twas yer pony?- Coram, Alanna: the First Aventure, Tamora Pierce Protector of the Small Quartet by Tamora Pierce: "Tilt with Lord Raoul? Why don't I just lie down in front of an elephant and let him step on me? I bet it feels the same." -Neal, in Squire "Begging my lord's pardon, but you are a bad man." -Kel, in Squire "When people say a knight's job is all glory, I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Sometimes I can stop laughing before they edge away and start talking about soothing drinks." - Raoul, in Lady Knight "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, my lord. You are a bad man." -Kel, in Squire "The king's decided that First Company of the King's Own had been at court too long and needs to remember why they wear the pretty mail." -Raoul, in Squire "Didn't anybody tell you a palace is like a sieve? ... If people stopped talking around here, the walls would fall in. There'd be no wind to hold them up." -Raoul, in Page "I hope he manages you with a whip and chain, like a wild animal in a show." -Neal, in Page "You do realize we should all be put in a nice, cozy room somewhere with muscular people to keep us from harming ourselves?" - Neal, in Lady Knight "At least Myles won't bite your head off if you venture a comment of your own. There's a lot to be said for a good-natured knight-master." -Neal of Queenscove in Squire by Tamora Pierce "I hate to say it, my dear, but I think our prince is a fathead." -Cleon of Kennan in Squire by Tamora Pierce "I don't trust anyone who feels you should like them, because they like themselves so much." -Dove in Trickster's Choice by Tamora Pierce Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin. Listen, three eyes,", he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal." - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. The story so far: There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, that provides the difficulties." -Life, the Universe, and Everything I am a teenaged girl who loves reading and writing. I want to be an author when I grow up. I also love classical music and want to be an amateur flutist and composer. I like reading because a lot of the time, school sucks... and that damn drama that the rest of the teenage girl world is into also sucks. So I escape the insanity that is the "real world". When I am done with a good book or series that I didn't want to end, I write more for it so that it never does. Hence the fanfics. I write for myself, and I don't care what you say about me or my stories. It's my imagination, folks. I can do whatever I want with it. Only a few people's opinions matter to me, and the liklihood is that yours is not one of them. Unless it's a compliment. Then it matters. But otherwise, I only accept complaints from my family and my friends who practically are my family. If you have evidence to back it up, that's different. If you see something wrong and can back it up with something other then "it sucks" or "you suck", which says obsolutely nothing, I'll listen to you and take your advice. My point: don't flame. It's stupid. And I don't care. I will respect your opinion if you happen not to like a certain book series unless you make prejudiced generalizations about people who do. (I get it all the time with Twilight. No, I don't think it's good literature, and yes, I like Harry Potter a whole lot better, but I do like Twilight and I'm not a "retarded fangirl": I am capable of reading other, better things.) Sorry about the length of my profile. People I Admire: JK Rowling, Chris Paolini, Tamora Peirce, Christie Pierce (who's from my hometown) Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Annasophia Robb, Emma Watson, my friends, Hermione Granger, Annabeth Chase Music: classical music, movie themes and background music, old classic rock (grateful dead, the who, the beatles, allman brothers, stray cats), jazz Favorite Books (In NO Order): Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Inheritance Cycle, Narnia, Vampire Game manga, Maximum Ride, anything Tamora Peirce, Warriors by "Erin Hunter", Inkheart, Land of Elyon, Uglies, Peter and the Starcatchers, Shakespeare, Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Golden Compass, Bridge to Terabithia, Charlie Bone, Novels of the Noble Dead (which doesn't have a fandom on here, which upsets me), Canterbury Tales, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, will add more if I think of any My Stories: War of the Gods- About the Next Great Prophecy. Nia, daughter of Athena, goes on a quest, has some creepy dreams, meets unusual half-bloods, falls in love, learns the secret pasts of several of her new friends, fights monsters and gods, and learns about being a hero. Chapter 8 is done. (We Incur the Wrath of Apollo) The Satyrs' Call- Working title of the sequal to War of the Gods. Half-bloods and satyrs are disappearing from schools and probably killed by monsters. Nia and a couple others are called to investigate. Not started yet. No Title- Prequel to WotG. About Crius's mother and some halfbloods in Cronos's army. Eventually will get written. Royalty of Hogwarts- Lily Potter is in Ravenclaw with a new Muggle-born friend. She gets into a fight with her family and has to save them from a group devoted to destroying them. Next chapter halfway done. Secrets of the Founders- Lily's second year. New mysterious first years. New ghosts of old people. New secrets in old places. Not started yet. Leslie Doesn't Die- Not my best, certainly not in the beginning. Leslie survives and they return to Terebithia as king and queen to discover the magic and how much their friendship really means. Next chapter started. Exploration of Terebithia- Leslie and Jess's children and their friends become princes and princesses of Terebithia. Not started yet. No Title- Remember the three girls in Squire who talked to Kel about wanting to be pages? They finally decided to do it and start on their own adventures. Not started yet. Falcon- Working title. About Beka's children and the choices they face between Dog and Rogue. Not started yet. Stuff That Annoys Me: when people talk about you instead of to you when you're right there when reviewers refer to you as the author or by your penname instead of you. i mean, they are writing to you when people are complete hypocrites when people talk about stuff that they don't know anything about, but think they're right and that you who truly are right are wrong when people randomly insult you (except when it's funny but if you hear the same thing everyday it's not) drama involving cat fights, boyfriends, txting wars, all of the crap that people enjoy for some reason when people say that reading is stupid or boring flames with nothing to back them up people who tell you your story sucks (me: well, how does it suck? give me details so i can fix it.) snobby know-it-alls people who tell you what to do without telling you why or treat you like a child people calling Harry Potter books Satanic and evil when people tell lies about you to your friends making plans leaving someone out when they're right there or telling them and not inviting them people who make a fuss about what's "cool" This is a bunch of stuff that I like: (If you don't want to read an insanely long bunch of crap (even though some of it's good), scroll down to the bottom of this page) OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. Reasons why girls are the best: 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blende r when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. If you and your friends aren't cool or don't even want to be and you just wanna be yourselves copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list...xNArutoLover4Ever19x, HealingSpringWaters, MaxCullen-Whitlock 1. Your Name Figure It Out 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus -izzle): Eilizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favourite color and favourite animal): Periwinkle Panther (Haha, like Pink Panther) 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and current street name): Lynn Trenton 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Pareimer 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favourite color, favourite drink): Midnight Blue Lemonade 7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Irleobr 8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Anna 9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Lightning (I like that one) QUOTES TO LIVE BY 1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. 2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. 3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE. 4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler 5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? 6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'? 7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? 8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton 9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown 10.) “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown 11.) “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown 12.) “He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown 13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster. 14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney! 15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! 16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again. 17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. 18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head 19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." 20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin. 21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days" 22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder 23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... 24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. 25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public 26.) Guns don't kill people. I do. 27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. 28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron. 29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either. 30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss. 31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS 32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. 33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45. 34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship. 35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. 36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet 37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. 38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have 39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal. 40.) Did you just call me a bch? Because a bch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement. 41.) So, you're a cannibal. 42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing. 43.) AV is Addicted to Vampires 44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. 45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO! 46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. 47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock! 48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow 49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again 50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke 51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn 52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care 53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. 54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick. 55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I. 56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. 57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. 58.) A day without sunshine is like... night. 59.) A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! 60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot 61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!! 62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls. 63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! 64.) I do what cheerios tell me. 65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'. 66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! 67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that... 68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth. 69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet... 70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions. 71.) Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous. 72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro. 73.) 'C' is for cookie! 74.) Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies, it never goes away. 75.) Batteries are the most dramatic inatimate object you can find. Others either work or break, batteries DIE. 76.) I like to go to the beach and bury peices of metal that say 'Get a life' on them. I feel the presence of she who is evil, I feel her breathing on my neck, close enough to whisper in my ear. To whisper what? Lies. All that escapes her lips are lies to turn one against another, and make the best of friends into enemies. And After the fight, she walks onto the battlefield, stepping on the broken bodies. As those who fought are slowly dying, she scavenges from them whatever she can possibly take. When she is done, she turns and leaves with her head held high, not a twinge of guilt, and she only looks back to laugh at the two dying friends as they try to apologize, try to reach out for eachother, but have not the strength to do either. - Journalist793 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it! Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. Don't follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. Being mature is overrated Silence is so freakin loud You say I've lost my sanity. But you can't lose what you never had. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button then you'll get disconnected. I follow my own footsteps FEMALE COMEBACKS!! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. -If you hate someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way you are a mile away from them AND you have their shoes. -Wish for what you want...work for what you need -When you love someone you can tell...when you're in love with someone, every one else can. -They laugh because I'm different...i laugh because they're the same. -Fear is the heart of love. -A good friend will comfort you when you're boyfriend breaks up with you...but a best friend will go up to him and ask "It's because you're gay isn't it?" -I'd rather be hated for who i am the loved for who I'm not. -The TRUTH is that everyone going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain. -You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad- Aldous Huxley - Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.- Vernon Law -Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. - Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. -Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment. -BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. -If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up. Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS -BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool! - There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. - What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? - "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - He who laughs last didn't get it. - When there's a will, I want to be in it. -Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. -I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. -The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. -I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. -When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. -I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. -Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. I have a one-time gift. A beautiful gift that many people are ridiculed for in this day and age. A precious gift that many people throw away. It's called "virginity", and I plan to not waste it on someone who's just gonna dump me later. I choose to be faithful to my future husband, the man who will love me for the rest of my life, and to wait for the wedding day!! If you have chosen to save your one-time gift and are PROUD of your purity, paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Dearheart, floppyearsthebunny, Narniachick, Lady of Stormness Mountain, MaxCullen-Whitlock Some words of wisdom: Quotes that I like: It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY: 1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy." 2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop." 3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness" 4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!" 5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?" 6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy." 7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex." 8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?" 9. "Damn, there go the lights again..." 10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them." 11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?" 12. "Ooooops!" Quotes: "I'm not crazy. I'm psychotic. There's a difference." "There's nothing that can't be fixed with: duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over." "My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time." "Dream as if you'll live forever... Live as if you die today." "Don't get mad; get sadistic." "Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" "Common sense is the enemy of comedy." "Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART." "My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am." "Knowledge is power; power is the root of all-evil. Therefore studying is evil." "I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!" "You know what?! Earth sucks, I'm going home." "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity." "If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window...I will laugh." "You're a great friend but if the zombies come I'm tripping you." "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?" "What is this 'kindness' you speak of?" "Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking." "Do you love me because I am beautiful? Or am I beautiful because you love me?" "They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people." 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. 7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 9. The things that come to those who wait. Will those be the things left by those who got there first? 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty Bold the steriotypes you 'MUST' fit into and add on your own. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add. If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop, POST THIS! Girls are like Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school Some questions... Why do psychics have to ask for your name? If a cow laughs does milk come out its nose? If the opposite of pro is con, then, what's the opposite of progress? If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2? When the "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business, did they see it coming? Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?" Why is the word abbreviation so long? Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? If the sky is the limit, then is space over the limit? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Is "Cute as a button" supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?! Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think Ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?? Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons? If two wrongs don't make a right, why do two negatives make a positive? Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Isn't it interesting how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'? If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware? Why do companies offer you "free gifts" Since when has a gift NOT been free? If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? Whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word Lisp? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat? Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics? Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it Fed UP? If quitters never win and winners never quit how can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them!? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? After eating do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from? Why is it that when transporting stuff on a car it's called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship it's called CARgo? 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, TeamDemetri, MaxCullen-Whitlock If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, TeamDemetri, MaxCullen-Whitlock This is shorter then it once was but still insanely long. I left the funny quotes and questions cause I like reading them on other people's profiles, ,so why not mine? The important stuff is at the top. | |||||||
1. Leslie Never Dies: An Alternate Ending » reviewsWhat I would rather have happen at the end. Leslie survives and they realize what they mean to each other in the magic of Terabithia.Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,055 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 10-12-09 - Published: 5-31-092. Royalty of Hogwarts » reviewsHarry's daughter is attending her 1st year at Hogwarts. What happens when she is in a different house then her family, the Weasley clan, Hogwart's unofficial royalty, and has to face their enemies alone? Or is she?Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,840 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 10-11-09 - Published: 5-29-09 - Lily Luna P. & OC3. War of the Gods » reviews11 years after LO, Rachel's prophecy is being forfilled. The gods are about to embark on a war that can destroy the world. Only seven demigods can save them. But they need to learn to cooperate and trust while discovering dark pasts and darker futures.Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,066 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 9-3-09 - Published: 5-21-09
