Oderint, dum metuant.

Welcome, friend. If you've wandered to this page, then you've most likely read one of my stories, and liked it, or you've read one of my stories, and haven't liked it. Or, if your case is neither, you've arrived here with the help of this wonderful phenomenon we call chance, and decided you could spend some time reading up a profile instead of a story.

So welcome, and allow me to introduce myself. Name; a weird, french-female version of Nathaniel. So stick with Nathaniel. Age; not too old, thankfully, but old enough. I'm French, as you may have already guessed. Yes, I live in France. No, I don't live in Paris (more like 20 minutes away). Yes, I've eaten frog legs (once, and it was in a chinese restaurant; don't think ew, these things are like miniature chickens), no, I don't walk around wearing a beret or drinking wine and eating croissants all day. I don't like croissants, they're awfully messy to eat.

Before I start giving a single opinion about this wonderful site, here's something all you English-speakers might enjoy:

There is no egg in eggplant; neither is there ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England, or french-fries in France (surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If it is louse/lice and mouse/mice, why can't you eat your rice one rouse at a time? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are the opposite? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Some final reflections:
Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
Why is flammable a synonym for inflammable, but incapable is the opposite of capable?

That's certainly not from me, but I do enjoy reading it from time to time. So now, let's move on to fanfiction, which is, after all, why we're all here.

Favorite authors

NavyBlueWings - Introduced me to this site, writes divinely, and to which I'm eternally thankful.

The Cereal Killer - True genius. Go check her profile, it's worth all the frustration of having to deal with some of the writers on this site. That, and she remains an excellent writer (especially when she's on crack).

michelerene - Read The Demilitarized Zone . Believe me, you will not be disappointed. Then you'll understand why she's in my top three. And why Itachi's my favorite character. The one she uses, anyways.

IvyMoon - Love her stories. Good authors are authors on crack. Period.

And I couldn't say no to DarkAlbino. Her profile's nearly as awesome as the Cereal Killer's, so go check it out too.

Some of you may have realized that most of these wonderful authors belong to this little family created by the Master of the Rebels. Woe to her and her minions; they've considerably lessened the time I have to spend in order to find good stories...

Favorite Pairings

Well, first obvious one is NaruSasu. But although I'll never tolerate KibaNaru, any other guy is (roughly) fine with our blond. For Sasuke, I'll get a bit pickier, but any hot guy's fine.

KakIta - I tolerate KakIru, which is the popular pairing, but seriously, Itachi and Kakashi are the two hottest guys in the manga (exclusing Yondaime, of course), and therefore meant to be together. Too bad so few fellow writers agree with me on the matter...

ShikaIno - NavyBlueWings introduced me to that one, and I must say I don't mind at all. They're funny to watch.

SakuIno - So, technically, I've never read Yuri, but I'm writing a little, and I have to draw your attention on something; Ino and Sakura's relation isn't any different from Sasuke's and Naruto's. If the latter pair up, then so should the former.

I like Sakura. Honestly, I do. The person I loathe is Karin (she seriously needs to get pounded). But someone I hate even more is Masashi Kishimoto. Why, you ask? Because he made her look like a completely useless bitch who'll only be a barrier between our two lovebirds. No personality, no power in the manga (she's as strong as Tsunade, almost as smart as Shikamaru (she was one of the best students)m but since she's a woman, she obviously can't make the right decisions, can't fight, and has to play the damsel in distress role that all of us hate).

You can also relate this to Twilight, for you Bella-haters out there. Same thing; the only reason we hate these female characters is because the authors were fundamentally sexist when they wrote them out. In my opinion, the vampire should have been female, the human male. Might have balanced things out. That, or give Bella a temper. But she's just too pathetic the way she is. So if you hate either, blame the authors, not the characters. They can't help being what they are. Fanfiction can make them change. So hooray for us.

My opinions on:

Japanese in fanfiction - Honestly, it's one of the things the immediately makes me hit the back button. Please, please don't do it. Even if the characters are Japanese, even if they live in Japan, even if you're fluent (and I'm roughly certain that none of the fluent people actually write in japanglish -I've spoken Franglish long enough to know how much it hurts normal people's ears- ) just don't. Not even the suffixes. Because if you add them, you'll add other small things, like the ne's, and the ano's, and then it'll be back to case one. Translated mangas keep suffixes in France, but while I'll tolerate that, I strongly advise people against it. Translate, and show your Japanese profeciency to people who'll actually care. But try not to use direct translations. I know usuratonkachi means something like dead-last. Fine, you found that wherever, and decided you could show the results of your research, so that everyone would praise you. Dead-last is an ugly, ugly word. Use idiot. Or terms and expression's you'll personally use to insult, scorn and reject people you know. Get creative.

The ukes - One of the rare terms I'll accept, because the English equivalent isn't that good, and it's entered the fanfiction anime English vocabulary anyways. So I'll let that one pass. Some of you seem to think that our little ukes are poor pathetic little boys who can't fend for themselves and automatically take up the housewife role in the relationship. Here's some news: gay guys who bottom aren't necessarily that whiny. Their stories aren't fun to read, and moreover they depict a truly horricfic image of what women are believed to behave like. Seriously, most of the stories I read are written by girls, if not all. Have some respect for your own gender. Even if you don't like it (again read the Cereal Killer's profile for this point. She develops it so much better than me). And toughen up those ukes. Please.

Het Fiction - Can't read it, sorry. Just can't.

Fanfictions in general - Here's a problem many of you might have noticed with this site. How many stories do you have to go through before you actually find one you like? My answer: way too many. That's something none of us will be able to change, sadly. No, what really pisses me of is the fact that some writers come up with truly great plots. Some even write them out pretty well. But damn, double damn, triple even, and Christ. Why can't you have your stories beta'd? Time confusions come up most often, and it's painstakingly disturbing. I hate reading these potentially excellent stories because of something so trivial as grammar, but I still read them and it's killing me. I don't want to steal your plots and rewrite my own version; it's sad, and in any case I don't have time. So make an effort people.

Me - Some authors I've crossed here said this: I love writing. Or, I love reading. And they developped it, explaining how mush time they spent on their notebooks, computers and papers, or telling they could read Sheakspere with as much pleasure as Tolkien's novels etc...

I like to read. I used to be a pretty good bookworm when I was in middle school. I also write a lot. Do I like it? Sure, but I use it mostly to make up some space inside my brain before the plot bunnies take over. So what do I really love? Thinking. Imagining. I'd be willing to change a lot of things about myself, but my brain's certainly not one of them. My little stories entertain me in a way reality never managed. The little plot bunnies are numerous, I tell you. Different kinds, different sizes, and none of them are willing to let me go.

Oh, and here's something to make everyone jealous; I've had an Uchiha Sasuke in my 12th grade class. Seriously. Black hair, hot, best student of the school, silent type. Learned Japanese, Naruto fan, good in sports, played guitar and all, and all the girls were falling in love with him. I cracked up when I realized how much he looked like the Uchiha.

Question: Are there any guys on the Naruto part of this site? I'm dying to know. That, and what they read, hehehe...