Hey Everyone! How's it going? I'm Funeral Knell

For those of you who don't know what a Knell is, it's the bell rung at a funeral. Hence the name.

I think most of my stories shall be LEMON and DARK! If you can't handle some sadistic and twisted stories with adult content then stay away from my stories. They aren't for the young or squeamish.

Betas are ALWAYS welcome! So are suggestions! I'm not so good with the flamming and such, I have a short temper but don't worry, I won't spazz on anyone.

Funny Things I Hear From Friends

I'm An Astronaut And I'll Be Exploring Uranus

Was Your Father A Baker? 'Cus You Got Nice Buns

I Ain't A Ritz! I'ma Cracka! Capt'n Crunch Ass Busta!

Tiddleywinks

Tittles!!

I Seen A Plastic Thing On My Moms Floor And Went To Look At It. It Was...A Condom. A Santa Claus Condom. I Went To My Mom And Asked "Mom, Why Is There A Santa Claus Condom On Your Floor" She Said "Don't Touch That! It Was Used Last Night!"

You're Lying Like A Two Dollar Whore

I Like This Not This !! Yeah Well I Like This AND This ! long discussion involving fingers meaning sexual preferance, fun times...

How Can Spongebob Drown At The Beach If He's Already Under Water? Why IS There A Beach Underwater?! Is Spongebob Gay? There's Only 3 Girls In That Show And He Hasn't Kissed Any Of Them! Spongebob's A Homo!

HOLLYWOOD! I'M GOIN TO HOLLYWOOD!The Local Crazy Homeless Scary Guy Came Up Dancing and singing that to me and my friends. let's just say he doesn't like being laughed at...

Flying Colors!

Keep Your Trap Shut Before I Take This Pencil And Shove It Up Your Nose!

Grrr...Did You Just Growl? Shhh You'll Blow My Cover!

You Better Not Be Worshipping The Devil! No I'm Not! No, She Isn't, The Devil Worships HER!

What's Shoved Up Her Ass?! I Don't Know. I Think A Stick...No Not Just A Stick, A Whole Tree! No Wait! A Forest! She Has A Forest Up Her Ass!

I Swear If I Wasn't So Tired I'd Stand Up And Kick Your Ass.

You're So Annoying! You Can Say Whatever You Want But Then When Anyone Wants To Say Something You Go "Shhh Shut Up! Be Quiet!" Yeah Whatever. Shut Up. You're Annoying.

You're A Necrophiliac! Damn Straight!

Me and some guy

Give me the stick.

-clutches stick- No.

Give. Me. The. Stick.

No!

I swear if you don't give me the stick I'm going to throw you down this hill.

No!

Last Chance...

Hmm...No!

-I tackle him and we roll down the hill-

-random guy standing there- Hey yous two! Quit making out!

Oi! I just wanted my stick!

I shall update soon...