'EllO THERE!! to all the people of this crazy fanfiction place we call a world!!

WELCOME TO THE MOST AH-MAZING PLACE EVER!!

okay not really...its just my profile. But I'll try to make it ah-mazing!! JUST FOR YOU!!

Okay guys...

My name is Ellie, I live in New York and Im 14.

Twilight Team: Team Swizterland!! Cant everyone just get along?!
Favorite Pairings: look down V
Harry Potter: Draco/Hermione Draco/OC Harry/Ginny Ginny/Draco Blaise/Luna Ron/Pansy Ron/Hermione I'll read anything that pretty much. Cept for slash...
Chronicles of Narnia: Edmund/OC Peter/OC Aravis/Cor
Covenant: Reid/OC Tyler/OC Pouge/Kate Caleb/Sarah

-The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...-

"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life."

~You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
~Whenever I see and old lady slip and fall on a sidewalk, my instinct is to laugh. But then I think, "What if I was an ant and she fell on me?" then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
~I have ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
~I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
~I like long walks. Especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.
~I'd kill for a body like yours except I don't have any more room to store it.
~Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
~I want to die in my sleep like my grandpa. Not screaming and yelling like the people in his car.
~When you wish on a shooting star, your wish will come true. Unless that star is actually a meteor headed straight towards Earth. Then you're dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
~Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.
~There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hope its not a train...
~Squirrels...Nature's little speed bumps.
~Laughter is always the best medicine... Except when you have cancer... Then Kemo is...
~I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
~I like parties but I don't like pinatas...Because the pinata promotes violence against flambouyant animals...
~A drunk driver is very dangerous. But so is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive... 'Dude make a left.' 'But those are all trees...' 'Trust me.'
~I like fruit baskets, because a fruit basket enables you to send fruit to someone without appearing insane. If you just mail somebody some apples, they're like, 'What the hell is this?' But if you put those apples in a basket, they're like 'This is nice.'
~My favorite fruit is grapes because with grapes, you always get another chance. If you get a crappy apple or peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you get a crappy grape, you just move onto the next one. Grapes-the fruit of hope.
~About a month ago, I got a cactus. And a week later, it died. And I got really depressed because I thought, 'Damn. I'm less nurturing than a desert.'
~If I had a book store, I'd make the mystery section really hard to find. 'Excuse me, do you have any mystery novels?' 'That's a damn good question.'
~Don't take life seriously. No one makes it out alive.

Friends: Will comfort u wen he rejects you
BFF: Will go up and ask him, "Its because youre gay right?"

Friends: Helps you when you fall.
BFF: Keeps walking and says"Walk much, dumbass"

Friends: Help u find ur prince
BFF:Kidnaps him and brings him to u

Friends: Will bail you out of jail
BFFs: Will be sitting next to you and say "that was awesome! lets do it again!"

Friends: Would knock on your door
BFFs: Walk in and yell "IM HOME!"

Friends: will give u an ubrella in the rain
BFFS: takes urs and says, "Run-dammit-Run!"

Friends:will be there for u wen he breaks up with you
BFFS: will call him and whisper, "Seven Days."

Friends: Will offer you soda
BFFS: will dump theirs on u

Friends: will help u move
BFFs: Will help u move bodies.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock.
Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people?
Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds.
When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say,
"I'm sorry, I thought your paper would protect you, you idiot."

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

A Real Boyfriend

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummie cause she thinks shes stronger than you
Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she's having a bad day
Hug her tight and whisper in her ear, "You're beautiful."

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she says it's over
she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

-Treat her like she's all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

-Let her know she's important.

- Don't talk about other girls around her

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Whose ass am i kicking baby?"