In case anyone is wondering, I definitely am still writing, albeit rather slowly. Louie St. Louie is like most guinea pigs, he can be extremely lazy and interested only in sleeping and food, so it takes an effort at times to prod his rather large muse ass into gear and get him working on writing. I was just as surprised as everyone else that he managed to get not one, but TWO whole stories finished and posted in the last couple of months, including a oneshot in a fandom I'd never even considered writing in, and a crack!fic in a fandom that does not have a lot of crack!fics posted on it. Curiously, since declaring the unfinished works discontinued, he does seem to be a bit more active, although his attention span wanders around various fandoms, including Adam-12, Emergency! (he hasn't forgotten Gethsemane, it's still a hot commodity), Route 66, Blake's7, Gone With The Wind, and The Choirboys. So what he'll finish next, I have no clue, but at least he's back working...a good thing, no?

CHANGES TO STORIES:

I have taken down two of my stories from this site, "To Die A Little" and "Evil In The City Of Angels", because those fics violated FF.net's rules regarding MA content. They can still be found on WWOMB and Archive Of Our Own, links to those sites are farther down on my profile here. I have also upped the ratings on some of my pieces, changing them from a T to an M due to graphic content, so the following stories can now be found on the M-rated page:

Memento Mori

Courage Under Fire

In The Aftermath Of Hell

The Ordinary Day

The Dark Side

A Prayer For The Soul

The View From Behind The Badge

STORIES MARKED "DISCONTINUED":

It is with great disappointment that despite repeated attempts to get the muse interested in working on the unfinished storylines, he is firmly DOA on them and because of that impasse, I find that I have to formally declare those works discontinued at this point in time, as noted in those stories' summaries and author notes. It has not been an easy decision to make, but with several of the fics approaching the three year mark as far as when they were last updated, I didn't feel it was fair to keep my readers wondering when I'd ever get back to those pieces, especially since all of you have been incredibly encouraging and supportive of me since I started on this site in May of 2009.

Plus, as most of you know, I suffer from an auto-immune disorder called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and in the last couple of years, I've had an increase in health problems because of it, and those problems have sapped not only my physical energies, but my creative energies as well. And when the muse DID want to write, I felt horribly guilty if he wasn't working on the unfinished stories, so that worry and guilt not only started taking a toll on my already bleah health and energy levels, it was also beginning to seriously make me hate writing, PERIOD. And writing is my greatest pleasure; it's supposed to be my escape from real life and my stress relief, not the cause of it, but I felt like I was drowning in all that worry and guilt, so I knew I had to make a choice...I could either keep drowning and exacerbating my health problems, winding up permanently burning myself out on ever writing anything again, or I could take a deep breath and let the unfinished stuff go because I've realized that in the larger scheme of things, the world isn't going to end if I never get those works completed.

But this doesn't mean I have given up all hope of ever completing the fics, I'm just giving myself permission to stop worrying about them so that the muse can then be free to focus on other things and I can learn to start loving writing once more. And because I have not given up on them, I am NOT offering those pieces up for adoption so that anyone else can finish them, so I ask that people please respect that and not coda my work for me. I accept full responsibility for both my decision to discontinue these stories and for starting so many works in the first place without knowing if I'd ever get them done, and I also accept full responsibilty for any repercussions I might face on the site because of this, including loss of readership. I am not in any way asking for or expecting any kind of forgiveness, I just am hoping that by giving my reasons why I've come to this decision, readers will understand where I'm coming from. And I thank all of you who have been so wonderfully supportive of me over the years, I have truly appreciated it.

This decision affects ONLY the following works:

Forever

In The Aftermath Of Hell

Evil In The City Of Angels (removed from site on 4-1-13, still posted on WWOMB and AO3)

Courage Under Fire

To Die A Little (removed from site on 4-1-13, still posted on WWOMB and AO3)

Same Auld Lang Syne

Pete's Lessons, Junior's Leash, & Marrying The Tree

PLAGIARISM:

I take care to post this disclaimer in everything that I publish on any of my sites:

ALL ORIGINAL CONTENT OF THIS STORY IS THE SOLE PROPERTY OF BAMBOOZLEPIG AND MAY NOT BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION.

This means that all the content in my story that is NOT borrowed from the original source (such as canon characters, canon locations, or other source elements) belongs to me and may NOT be used without my consent. GENERAL ideas that are common themes found in all different fandoms I do not lay claim to, but anything I have come up with that is SPECIFIC to my story and my story only is MINE and should be respected as such. This includes the very unique way I word my work and other original fanon ideas such as Pete being a yodeler in a polka band or Jim owning a talking dog, or Roy having a wristwatch that allows him to time travel, or Johnny getting a Toni manperm. I've had my work plagiarised and believe me, while they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I am far from flattered when someone rips me off, I'm pissed as hell because I'M the one that's put in all the blood, sweat, tears, and man hours working on a story, NOT the plagiarist. Even more disgusting is the fact that people actually DEFEND such despicable acts, which is tatamount to saying it's fine for someone to come into your home and steal all your belongings that you worked hard to get, just because the stuff is there and the thief liked them. And should anyone run across anything that has potentially been plagiarised from me, I would ask that the person that finds it contact me first so that I may investigate the matter. Should I find my work has been stolen from me, I will pursue any and all action possible to me against the plagiarist.

MY MUSE IS AN IDIOT SOMETIMES:

The following is a conversation I have had with my muse, Louie St. Louie the gigantic guinea pig, and THIS is why I never get anything done, I have "storyline ADHD" followed by "pain the ass irresponsible muse". It's just the facts, Jack, and Louie sounds an awful lot like George Carlin...

Me: Okay, we have the first chapter of Gethsemane up. It's going well on the site, so let's focus on the next chapter.

Louie St. Louie the guinea pig muse: Right, right! On it immedia...wait, what's the fish doing?

Me: Ignore the fish.

LSL: But LOOK at him. What the hell is he doing? He looks like he's gonna explode or somethin'.

Me: He's flaring. He sees his reflection in the hard drive and thinks it's another betta. IgNORE him.

LSL: But he's so pretty. Can I feed him?

Me: NO. He's been fed. IGNORE HIM.

LSL: Aww, okay. On Gethsemane, next chapter. We're lookin' at a Brice and Roy interaction, right?

Me: Right. With Chet coming in later on.

LSL: Okay, so maybe we go this rou...now what's the fish doing? He's all...what the hell is that, bubbles?

Me: Yes, it's a sign he's happy, he's bubblenesting. IGNORE HIM.

LSL: Yeah, but's he's a male fish, right? Why's he nesting?

Me: Louie, I swear to god, I'm gonna kick your furry little guinea pig ass if you don't get back on the story. Ignore the fish, he's back here because if I leave him out there in the living room after I go to bed, he might get too cold from the fan I run for white noise. So I bring him back here and set him on the computer desk until I get ready to go to bed because otherwise I'll forget him.

LSL: Okay, okay. Hey, you're not like...you know...considering trading me in on the fish as your muse, are ya?

Me: Right now it doesn't sound like a bad idea, to be honest.

LSL: Yeah, but it's a fish. Fishes aren't bright. Look at 'im, he's just sitting on the bottom there, eyeballing your Adam-12 dvd case you've got him parked on.

Me: And look at you, sitting on your fat little guinea pig ass, doing nothing but annoy the hell out of me. Your point?

LSL: Well, I'm cuter. And a little bit smarter.

Me: Okay, so put those brains to work and let's get back to Gethsemane.

LSL: Okay, okay, nerdy guy with glasses...whatshisname? Brick? and Roy intera...hey, didja ever give any consideration when Georgshadow suggested you write a story to the Choirboys novel?

Me: LOUIE! Let's stay with Gethsemane for now.

LSL: Yeah, but have you? I mean, there's like...what...a day and a half that Wambaugh just comPLETEly glosses over and it jumps in the space of a couple of paragraphs from 'em finding Baxter Slate being whipped by the dominatrix to him...

Me: Yes, it's interesting, but Gethsemane needs to be finished first, Louie.

LSL: But it wouldn't take long. I SWEARtogoditwonttakethatlong. I'm thinkin' just one scene. One scene and POOF! it's done. And look, it's all angsty, so you're not really losing your steam on the Gethsemane piece.

Me: ONE scene only?

LSL: Yeah, one scene only, I swear. I can see it now, Baxter's in his kitchen and...wait.

Me: WHAT?

LSL: Well...I'm kinda thinkin' maybe two scenes. I mean, ya can't just THRUST the reader into this scene and expect 'em to know what's goin' on, ya know?

Me: Louie, I don't think YOU know what's going on.

LSL: Hey, I resent that. I'm pretty smart, smarter than that damn...wait, what's the fish doing now?

Me: He's SWIMMING AROUND DOING NOTHING, LOUIE. FOCUS HERE.

LSL: Yeah, but that fish, he's pretty distracting, ya know?

Me: I'll move him over to the dresser then.

LSL: Nah, don't do that, he might get lonely. Leave him here, I can focus. Okay, so this scene with Baxter in his kitchen, I got an idea for some scenes before that and after that.

Me: How many scenes?

LSL: Um...(holds up paws and counts)...thirtykatrillion?

Me: That's NOT a number Louie.

LSL: Okay, maybe something around ten, fifteen short scenes. Short scenes. Really short. Like a couple of sentences long short scenes. Brief, punchy, catchy, kitschy, cutesy...wait, where am I going with this?

Me: You tell me.

LSL: Well, I'm thinkin' and I'm thinkin' and I'm thinkin' and ya know, there's some good potential here for you to get into the characters of both Sam Niles and Baxter Slate and explore 'em. Really get into the meat of 'em.

Me: Wambaugh does a pretty good job of that in the novel.

LSL: Yeah, but not the part around the dominatrix scenes. Doesn't get into Baxter's motives or anything. Doesn't get into Sam's feelings at all.

Me: That was probably the point, Louie.

LSL: Maybe, but look, it's a good idea, right? So why not try it on for size? Shake out a couple of scenes, see where they go. Won't take long, I promise. In fact, I got your opening all ready for you. Here ya go:

I suppose you’re wonderin’ why I’m here and truth be known, I’m kinda wonderin’ that myself. I mean, it’s been a long time…a long, LONG time…but I guess I need to say some things to you that I should’ve said that night and while I don’t expect forgiveness, I need to try to make amends to you because…well…

It’s the least I can do before I die…

Me: Wait, you did that in that short of time?

LSL: Well, when you're hot, you're hot. 'Course, that's all I have so far. Hey, now that's out of the way, wanna go check the sites and see if anything has happened in the five minute span since you last checked them?

Me: No, I'd rather focus on writing.

LSL: You sure? There looked to be some pretty good bitchfests brewing out there on some of 'em. I mean look, I gave you what...three really deep and meaningful sentences in that opening there, surely you can take a break, right?

Me: Fine. (refreshes all sites and finds nothing going on) Okay, now let's get back to this oneshot, is this what you're wanting to work on for now? You want to put Gethsemane on the side burner and focus on the oneshot?

LSL: Meh. Maybe. I dunno. Part of me wants to work on writing and part of me wants to watch this damned fish. He's really interestin' ya know. All sorts of pretty colors and long flowy fins, and look...just lookit him flarin' at his reflection in the hard drive tower! Silly fish! Don't you know that's yourself?

Me: LOUIS SAINT LOUIS...

LSL: Uh-oh, you're usin' all three of my names, bet I'm in trouble...

Me: Look, can we focus on something writerish here? You're killing me. You've been almost non-existent for nearly three years now and I'm about ready to fire you and let the fish have a shot at being a muse.

LSL: Yeah, but he's a FISH. Fishes aren't smart, I'm tellin' ya. Look, he's lookin' at that Adam-12 cover like it's the Holy Frickin' Grail. Hey fish, it's just Martin Milner and Kent McCord, not Michelob. Wait, who was that guy who painted the Visine Chapel?

Me: Never mind...

LSL: Was he the same one that painted the Moaning Lisa? Water Lilies? Hey, I like water lilies. I'd eat 'em if I could. Course, I eat my own hair, so that's nothin' big.

Me: LOUIS!

LSL: Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a wad here. Okay, lessee...that nerdy guy with glasses...eh...Brock? Boobs? Heh, I said boobs. Hey, stop with the withering death glare, I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'. Booger and Coy walk in on Buster Keaton being whipped by a dominatrix and...

Me: Stop. Booger is from "Revenge Of The Nerds"...

LSL: Right, right, the little nebbishy guy with glasses, always spouting off about the rules...

Me: Coy is from the Dukes of Hazzard...

LSL: Yeah, yeah, awesome show with an even more awesome car...

Me: And Buster Keaton is...

LSL: Wait, I know, I know, he's the little kid that sells shoes. Has the little dog and wears that godawful little lord fauntleroy suit.

Me: (facepalms) Louie...

LSL: Damn, look at that fish now! He's one freaky little bastard, ain't he? I'm gonna eat you little fishy...hey, whatever happened to Red Dwarf? Did they take it off the air or what?

Me: I dunno, last I knew it was airing on IPTV, but I don't remember what time or day.

LSL: Damn, that was a pretty funny show. Hey, you ever consider some fanfi...

Me: NO.

LSL: Well, I'm just sayin', that's all. Okay, let's get back on the story here...hey, wanna hit the sites again, see if anything's gone down? No?

Me: I. WANT. TO. FOCUS. ON. WRITING.

LSL: Hey, wasn't that the X-Files tag? I want to...eh...damn, been a long time since I saw that show. Wait, wasn't that a Led Zep song? Been a long time since I saw that show...Ah...okay, death glare again. Sorry. Ya know, Mulder and Scully might be kinda fun to write. You used to like 'em, right? Watched that show pretty religiously? Until they got kinda stupid the last two seasons? Right? You even had a black coat that you said was your Scully coat but you secretly preferred to think of it as your Mulder coat? Hey, what about Criminal Minds? You like that show, too, right? The little nebbish guy...eh...Reid? And Rossi? Damn, Rossi is hawt, right? Hey, you could totally get into a serial killer fic on either one of those shows, X-Files or Criminal Minds. Really scary shit.

Me: I would like to finish either Gethsemane or this Choirboys story first.

LSL: Yeah, yeah. I'm just sayin', ya know? Spread your wings and fly. I believe I can fly...I believe I can touch the sky...hey, remember that sloth video on tumblr? Totally funny as hell. Man, you should get back to tumblr. People have forgotten who you are on there, I bet you lost a shit ton of followers.

Me: I bet I've lost a shit ton of readers on ffnet because I haven't been able to effin' write anything, you keep diverting my attention, you idiot!

LSL: Ah, bold AND italics, serious shit there! Okay, I'll get back to the Choirboys fic, I promise. Now, the opening is set, so let's go into this scene next...hey, lookit that fish...

Me: FORGET THE FUCKING FISH! FOCUS ON THE GODDAMNED STORY!!

LSL: Okay, okay, don't big-text and bold and italicize scream at me...sheesh, what language! Your mom know you talk like that?

Me: My mom TAUGHT me to talk like that.

LSL: Okay...so...where was I...oh yes, the opening to Choirboys...I'm thinkin' we go in with this type of idea next and...hey, is that lettuce I hear?

Me: LOUIE!!!!

OTHER SITES I AM ON:

http://www.squidge.org/peja/cgi-bin/viewuser.php?uid=6122 (unaltered versions of stories posted here, including anything that has been deleted from this site)

http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bamboozlepig/pseuds/Bamboozlepig (unaltered versions of stories posted here, including anything that has been deleted from this site)

http://www.markviifanfictionrealm.com/index.html (new fanfic site for Jack Webb's trio of shows, Dragnet, Adam-12, & Emergency!)

http://the-crazy-world-of-bamboozlepig.tumblr.com/ (my blog...haven't updated much on it recently, but hope to get back to it soon)

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/719586/Bamboozlepig (essay and opinion pieces posted here)