Hola friendly friends!

Let me start off by saying that I love reading other people’s profiles. It brings immense joy to me, not to sound creepy-stalkerish. I just like to know about people, and I like to see if we have anything common. I think most people enjoy this, actually. So, if that is the case, then you probably want to know all about me! I oblige. And don’t worry, I’m not one of those people who says, “I guess I’m supposed to tell you something about myself” and then puts their two favorite movies, their favorite band, a fact about their story, and then has 10 of those ‘copy and paste this in your profile’ and then thinks that they’ve told you all about themselves. I am going to tell you all about myself. Actually, this is just an opportunity to talk about myself that I am going to take advantage of.

I am Allison, but please call me Don Lambert. “Huh?” You say? “Why?” You ask? Well, my life plan is that I’m going to be the head of the New York mafia, and I am going to marry Adam Lambert (the most gorgeous person ever), so once I am a Drug Lord, I’ll be Don Lambert. I figured that I’ll go ahead and be called that now, so that people can get used to the title. Like I said, that’s my life plan. And I am perfectly serious about all of it. Or at least being the head of the mafia, because I can’t make Adam fall in love with me. But I think it’ll happen. So call me Don Lambert.

I have three cats, and they are retards. I am a lover of all the arts. I like to write poems and - obviously - stories. I love music most of all! I sing (and well, if I do say so myself) and I am taking voice and piano lessons. I enjoy speaking the little bit of Spanish that I know. I ride horses in the summer. I am very afraid of clowns. I hate sports, and I mean hate, with the exception of biking and tennis. I love traveling (lucky for me so does my grandmother, the only one in my family who has any money).

I like Quentin Terentino. BEST FING NAME EVER. I like expensive cars. I don't own one. I like music videos. I like castles. I don't own one. I like unicorns. I like inside jokes. I like puppies dressed as cats. That was one. I like the sea horse Mystery from spongebob. I like daydreaming. About Adam Lambert. I like being good at things. I like New York. I don't live there. I like the food network. I'm not on it. I like not liking the Jonas Brothers. I like my English/Gov. Block class. I DON'T LIKE ILLEGAL MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS. I like sporks. I like socks. I like ties. I like the Four Seasons First Residense Hotel in Cairo, Egypt. I haven't been there. I like men in guy-liner. I'm not one. A man, that is. I LIKE QUENTIN TERENTINO.

And on we go...

My favorite movies: The Phantom of the Opera (2004), the Dark Knight, Watchmen, Sweeney Todd, All 3 Pirates of the Caribbean’s, The Godfather, 300, Twilight, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Brokeback Mountain, Evita, Ironman, The Shining, The Dutchess, Mama Mia!, Amadeus, The Labyrinth, Secret Window, National Treasure 1&2, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, and the Harry Potter movies. And that’s just the beginning, I am a total movie junkie!

Musicals: I adore musicals! My favorite movie musicals are listed somewhere above. I have seen The Phantom of the Opera and the Lion King on Broadway, Wicked in Chicago, Cats at a local theatre, and the Phantom of the Opera again in Kansas City.

Music/Bands: My favorite bands and artists are Adam Lambert, Metallica, My Chemical Romance, Lady Gaga, Evanescence, P!nk, Katy Perry, David Cook, Cassidy Haley, Slipknot, Panic at the Disco, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, and Queen. If you have a good rock band to tell me about, please do!

Books: My favorite books are the Dresden Files, The Harry Potter series, the Twilight series, The Warriors series, The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Hobbit, the Da Vinci Code, the graphic novel Watchmen, and of course Phantom by Susan Kay. I also love Stephen King, and have great respect for him.

Actors: My favorite actors are Johnny Depp, Gerard Butler, and Heath Ledger!

TV: My favorite television show in the world is House! I also watch Monk, The Daily show and The Colbert Report, The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, the Late Late show with Craig Fergusan or however you spell his last name, and American Idol. I have actually only watched two seasons of American Idol, Season 7 so that I could support my hometown hottie David Cook, and now Season 8. My favorite was Adam of course, because he’s insanely talented and insanely gorgeous! And he’s my future husband.

WoW: I must quickly say that I love World of Warcraft. This does not make me “one of those Dungeons and Dragons nerds”; I have a life, and a non-dorky one at that. Kinda. I just think that it’s an insanely fun game. If you do play WoW, ask me sometime and I’ll tell you my name and server. For the Alliance!

If you are here because I’m the author of your favorite story ever, the Opera Ghost Busters, I have just realized that I have yet to welcome you! I love my friendly readers! Yes, now you finally know the real author. Up until a little bit ago I didn’t have the internet, so I hired my best friend, Robert Chase ICU, to post the story for me. But now I have the internet and can post the story all by myself. Thanks so much, chase, for that huge favor! Luv ya! Well, actually I'm not sure if any of my old readers have stuck with me...I think I lost them all when I started posting the story myself. :(

If you haven’t read the Opera Ghost Busters, well, why not? Read it right now please! I have compiled this little summary that you may read, so please take a gander and see if my story would tickle your funny bone. Just a little bit of harmless advertising, hope that’s okay with you all.

The Opera Ghost Busters is a Phantom of the Opera fanfiction that has it all. It possesses humor, romance, baseball fields, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, an engaging plot, and a special guest appearance from Donald Trump! Be ready to laugh your spleen right out of your body!

After the disastrous opera Il Muto, Christine and Raoul escape the mayhem and flee to the roof. But why is it any safer up there? Of course Erik is watching them, but that isn’t the problem. In Raoul’s attempts to comfort Christine, the Vicompte, uh… has an unfortunate encounter with a long drop and some hard concrete. Wince. Well, after that things change a little. Christine goes to Erik for comfort and guidance, and the two end up chatting everyday. Erik starts to wonder if they are simply friends or something more…

The managers are the ones with the real problem, though. They begin to wish they were back in the junk business. Erik has not stopped causing destruction, and with the help of his shiny new iPhone he is making Andre and Firmin’s life h-e-double hockey sticks. The managers are getting so fed up with the opera ghost that they develop permanently red faces and eye twitches, and finally Andre calls…

The Ghost Busters. Now things should get interesting. The three exterminators take up permanent residence in a spare room and devote their time to running around the Opera Populaire franticly searching for a ghost that can never be found. Would they even be able to destroy Erik if they caught him? He is, after all, a man and would not fit in the tiny mettle boxes they keep their ghosts in.

Some other interesting things happen along the ride. Erik finds a cat and meets the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. They find they have many things in common and become best friends. Nadir eats about 7 pastrami sandwiches. Somebody orders pizza one too many times. Christine goes to the cemetery where the Batman and the Joker get into a gun fight, then a fist fight. Jeoffery, the replacement fop, polishes spoons. Andre hits some people with a wooden oar and does a puzzle with a banana. Sounds like fun.

But, future readers, these questions remain. Can Peter Venkman, Ray Stanz, and Egon Spengler bust the opera ghost, or will Erik make a mockery of them as well as the managers? Will Christine choose the Phantom of the Opera as her new love, or will she fall for the opera house’s new patron, Jeoffery Charuse? Can the managers ever find a new fourth chair xylophonist that can actually play? And, the question that has been nagging you all: How many books can one giant squid eat??

Erik will find out the answers, and you can too! Read the Opera Ghost Busters! All will be revealed… except what time period the whole thing takes place in. On that, your guess is as good as mine. (And I wrote the damn thing!)

Sounds like fun, no? This is my life’s work right here, and I hope you enjoy it.

As for my other story...that was something that i wrote for my friend to scare her. I'm tickled to death that anyone else has actually read it. It actually rather scares me myself... I do think it's well written, though, so it was not totally an evil creation never meant to see the light of day...

Not much else I can say about myself, is there? I do believe we’ve covered it. LONGEST PROFILE EVER. AND NOT A SINGLE COPY AND PASTE THING. Now you know all about me! And if you think that you don’t, feel free to tell me.

I suppose, then, that this will have to be goodbye!

Adios, friendly friends!

Yours Truly,

Don Lambert