I am not here to write. I am here to read.

I am not here to be nice. I will tell you what I really think of your work.

If I like it, I'll say so, and I will give you some tips. If I don't, well...

As a seasoned fanfiction.net, fictionpress.net and various other websites/books/and so on reader, as well as knowing proper authors...

...it'd be pretty obvious that I know what I'm talking about.

That I am not some rabid fan or random hater.

Do not tell me that stupid, repetitive phrase "if you don't like it, don't read".

Do not dare me to write a "story of my own so we can see what 'real' authors are like".

Because I won't back off and I will not do that. I am a reader, not a writer, as aforementioned.

I am not a coward, nor am I "without" a life.

I'm not stupid or "lifeless" enough to write pathetic, unplanned fanfiction, with poor grammar, spelling, plot, characterisation and so on; and absolutely no creativity.

My head is not in a real-life fantasy, where the names are replaced.

The real writers on here, the ones who want to be successful and are prepared to do the work are those who are treated the worst and are never seen.

Those whose stories are masterpieces. Some are fortunate and get attention - others are not, because of scummy authors.

They never say anything because they are too busy, but they have their opinions that are as bloody as mine may be to you.

I am on both ends of the scale, by the way. I give positive and negative criticism.

Yet I'm still marked out as a flamer. How amusing.

I don't pick out victims on purpose. I don't go around and go "I don't like this person, so I shall go to him or her next".

My selections are completely random. And if I select you, then I select you.

And another thing. Yeah, I read private messages. But I don't respond to them, and I never will.

So you can just drag your cursor away from the review reply button.

I will say this though. You all make me laugh with your messages. Please, like I would bother wasting my time on making fun of you.

You're not all that worth it. So kindly get a pin and pop that balloon-sized ego of yours.

Good bye.