If you have visited my profile before, what I said here is wrong I don't do what ifs any more. Sorry.

First name: Josh (I don't give more than that on the web.)

Place of Birth: Highland Park, Ill.

Age: none of your darn business

Interests: I enjoy creating mostly. Stories, songs, videos. You name it, I make it. (But nothing to do with drawing or sculpting.) I also enjoy reading, singing, and annoying little siblings.

Favorite books: Harry Potter (all), The Phantom Tollbooth, Septimus Heap; Magyk, The Ear the Eye and the Arm, and most cartoon collections.

Favorite movies: The Princess Bride, Harry Potter (all), anything but Twilight.

Favorite sports team: With so many out there, just root for all of them and everyone is happy. AKA: Red Sox.

Religion: Jewish with a touch of Yeshevish.

Favorite singer: Weird al Yankovic. (You guys got a problem with that?)

Favorite song: The Saga Begins, by Weird Al Yankovic.

Here are the lyrics for anyone who's interested:

A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I find me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation in
To maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy

Oh
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
He left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin'
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say

Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday

Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy

We started singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin'
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh the Council was impressed of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"
"I still will teach this boy"

He was singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin'
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gungans died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin'
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy

And I was singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin'
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We were singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Other: I have 3 siblings all of which are very annoying. I play keyboard and guitar, and compose songs. I don't do drugs, and have never been arrested. (For those of you who are interested.)

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate gay pairings, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If YOU'RE one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into YOUR profile.

If you think that doing the disclaimer more than once is silly unless there are new characters involved, copy and paste this into your profile.

If u belive that grammer nd speling are imprtent, than copy this nd paest it onto ur profiel

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Even when you can't see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination.

If you're yeshevish, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you know the song 'Misivta, Lubavitch, Chabad, Oh Yah!' copy this onto your profile.

If you think the greatest jewish songwriter ever is NOT Yossi Green, rather Yerachmiel Begun copy this onto your profile.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI (!oot, nuf si sdrawkcab gnitirW)

And now, for some of my favorite quotes.

Dr. Scratchandsniff: Now we will work on our diction. How do we avoid bad elocution?

Yakko: Stay inside during a thunderstorm. (From Animaniacs.)

That's the silliest thing I heard. Man's best friend is his blanket. (Lucy from Peanuts.)

Today I am a dog. Yesterday I was a dog. Tomorrow, I will probably still be a dog. There is so little hope of advancement. (Snoopy from Your a Good Man Charlie Brown.)

I wont give any more information or secrets away. To you weasles. Mwa ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. That is all. Begone! You can come back to waste more of my time later, or read my stories. Just call 1800-MY-GAS, and we'll send you a free supply of gasoline. (Or is it helium.) Yes I know I'm insane, and I am plotting to kill you all. Bye for now.

5\31\09

Hi people. Sorry for taking so long on the next chapter. It is quite annoying being jewish sometimes, seeing as there are periods of time where I can't be on the computer. For example, the past 2 days were a holiday, and I couldn't come on until last night, and that was for about 10 minutes.
Seeing that more people are discovering my work, I would like to ask everyone to tell your friends about this. I also would appreciate if people would give me ideas for new stories. Please be open about your ideas, and don't hesitate to review my stories.
My next chapter will be coming soon, so please check for it. As I have told many of you, it gets better and better as time goes on, so just bare with me for now. I may accept some ideas to put into my story, but please send them by private message only. I will not take all suggestions, as I already have a basic plot in mind. Thank you to all those who have read my stories. See you later. Bye!

6\9\09

Well, here we are now. My second story has begun, and I think it will be a smash. I have not said as much as I would have liked in the description, so here is a bit more. The Concert is based on the idea that Calvin grows up to be a talented mc. Alot of the jobs he gets start out small, but they grow and grow. One day he... Wait, I'm not supposed to give away the whole plot. Let's just say, the music festival, is based on jewish and american music. (although I can't say what yet, you'll have to read it yourselves.) In this story, I blend together some interesting artists, who will make you laugh, cry, and even applaud in your own home. (Okay, maybe not that last one.)
I would like to take this opportunity, to thank my inspiration of this story, Blu Taiger. This was one of the first writers I met on this site. Thank you Taiger for the idea that Calvin likes to sing and preform, which I took from your story. Bye everyone, see you in the next chapter.

6\11\09

Sorry to everyone out there. The format of my story, The Concert is very bad. I didn't look at it after I transferred it onto the site, so it came out a little weird. I'm sorry to everyone who had to take more time to read it for this reason. bye for now.

7/26/09

To all whom it may concern; I'm sorry for those of you who are upset by my lack of updates. Unfortunately, I have had no time to come on here, and the computer with all my stories was hogged. I will update as soon as possible. Also regarding The Concert, the actual story part is coming so hold your horses. I won't give away too many details, but I will tell you that a flashback is involved. Please read it, even if you were disappointed by it. See you all for now, and don't forget to R&R all my stories.

9/25/09

I lied. The concert was never good. It seemed good at first, but out of my head it's terrible. I may take it down. To those of you who like my new story: It will be updated soon. I don't get a lot of time on the computer, and the jewish holidays are coming up. (I can't go on the computer during the holidays.) I have finished writing the next few chapters, but they were handwritten, so I have to type them up. I am glad people actually enjoy one of my stories. See you all, and to all the jews out there, Gmar chatimah tovah.

The next day...

I have finally decided to delete The Concert. It's one of those stories that seemed good in your head, but wasn't out of it. If you are interested in jewish music, then I suggest you check out Yeshevishman's profile on youtube in a couple of months. (I hope.) For now, I'm saying goodbye to the concert. (For now, mwa ha ha.) If you protest, you have a terrible taste for writing.

On a happier note, for those of you enjoying The Fake Cat Prophecy/The Cats, the next chapter will be out sometime this week. Please check it out, and spread the word.

I'm also thinking of doing something with the Bartimeus trilogy (I don't remember how to spell it.) Send me your thoughts, and hopefully, that will start soon.

Any other ideas? Comments? Donations? (To the "give The King random money fund.") or applications for my army of world domination, send me a PM. (Prime Minister or Post Meridian.)

I admit I'm tired, so I'm making a lot of bad jokes. See you later.

Thenextday...

Ihavedecidedtoshowyouwhatit'sliketonotusethespacebar.Thisshouldshowpeoplewhodon'tusethespacebarwhattheirwritinglookslike. Since it's quite hard for me to write like that I will switch. (You people must be pros. The space bar comes to me automatically.) I have changed my name because I think that what.if.king. is not descriptive anymore. I no longer am writing what ifs, so my first is my last. (Which I should finish up...)

If you are enjoying my stories, then please tell me so I can delete the useless ones. My first story for example, is not getting any more visitors. Tell me why you are not enjoying it, and I will try to fix it in my next chapter.

If you want to give me any other ideas, please tell me. I am not psychic, even on the internet. There is a little icon at the top of my profile that says PM. Click on it to send me your ideas.

Again, to all Jews, Yeshevish people, Christians, and any other religion, (Okay, maybe just Jews,) a gmar chatimah tovah.

10/1/2009

Have you heard of the seven wonders of the MODERN world. Food belongs in that category. (At least after a 25 hour fast.)
Anyways, I would like to ask all people a question. What do you think Yeshevish is? A) A group of mongols. B) A religious cult developed by bald headed ducks. C) A type of cookie. D) none of the above. Send me your answers. Zai gezunt. (Bonus for telling me the translation of that phrase.)
I would like to inform you that my latest story, The Cats/ The Fake Cats Prophecy, is being canceled. No! Wait! It is just at a mental block point. This should keep you in suspense for another year, so while you're at it, ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!! I should move on in about a week. Ta ta for now, and remember, slackers always prosper. (I think that's how it goes.

Quotable quote from me: A Guten Moed!

Thanks 'Chel, Love you. (Even though you probably won't see this.)

10/11/09

I am really sorry about The Cats/ The Fake Cats Prophecy. It's been ten days, and I still have a stupid mental block. That, and a lack of sleep. For those of you enjoying it, it should be updated soon. (Send in any ideas to get out of mental blocks; nothing seems to be working.)
While we're on the topic of sending ideas, I have polls and questions throughout my profile. Take a minute to answer them by P.M. or other means. See ya!

12/6/09

If you people could only know how good this story is turning out, you would be begging me to update it more than you have. Some of you are guessing the ending way to quick. A good story has surprise, and this one sure does. However it's not uploading at the moment so you just have to wait a little longer. This next chapter is the real exposition, so sit back and enjoy.
Also, if there are no objections, my questions are waiting to be answered. I have to go now, but if I don't see you for another 2 months, Happy Holidays. (Ours is sooner. HA HA HA.)