When I say Kappa Loren, you say on the Richter Scale, how insane? That there is pretty self explanatory. I'd be an idiot to give you my real name, so Kappa shall have to suffice (even though its so sorority). Hi.

I don't have many ideas, but when they come, they are out of this world. Literally. Galactic chases, cross-species romance.. you name it, I got it. I'm a nanoscopic- 'scuse the language; I really take advantage of FanFiction- more active on Fiction Press. I've got a new story up there and yes I know I'm shamelessly advertising (Pennames Kilamika- The Unexpectrd Chronicle Of Lucinda Grayce) Chapter 1 out in two days.

I'd like to thank all the authors who've welcomed me, gave me advice and responded to the reviews I've left them. I'm not mentioning names and I don't know why. There, I said it. She does have humility in her after all.

What the frigging hells a Muse. A muse is a source of inspiration. I don't have a muse. I doubt my sisters evil teddy bear counts. (Honestly, its been eyeballing me for months, like I've got its cousin mounted on my wall.) I've got plot bunnies. A whole army of them. An army of rabid pink pillow biting bunnies wearing blue pirate captain hats with gold lining-the leader has an eye patch. That's how I imagine them.

If you haven't realised by now, I think I am uniquely stereotypical. I mean, everyone is stereotypical. There are over a billion people in the world-I forget how much, and two or two thousand people are bound to have the same thoughts. Ten to Hundred babies are born in a day. I bet fifty authors have the same thing written on their profile, if not more. Some stereotypes are good, some are bad. What matters is whether you choose to follow them, to sound vaguely Superhero-esque.

But lets think about this, shall we. If you actually understood my ranting, you'd give it a try, and all of you would choose your stereotypes and then that would become stereotypical. Chew on that. Oh, and by the way, don't get upset if you can't spell stereotypical, because its stereotypical to be unable to spell stereotypical.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that is some good crack material.

P.S Please don't PM me and say that I don't know what I'm talking about, because I figured that out ages ago.

Cheers, K.L.

Normal info: Kappa Loren, Unidentified Mad Author, Number 1 Fan of the Mad Hatter, Big Tokio Hotel fan, Loreena McKennit, Celtic Woman, Enya, E.S Posthumus, Sheila Chandra and Soundtracks. Whoever said soundtracks weren't music ought to be subjected to vigorous torture. Bells and a Hammer come to mind.wink! I like books. Romance has a limit for me. I'm really sorry, but I just don't get Twilight. If I were Bella, there would be no jumping of cliffs, but pushing of cliffs comes to mind. But I'm not, so don't PM me with a tag-a-long S. Love that line. I don't get Taylor Swift, Disney's Music, or Twilight. There, now I will wordlessly repeat the Line. I love some Canon, and I hate some Canon. That is why I am on FanFicition. I love you, and I hate you, although I really don't know you. The world is just awesome, and yeah, I proofread this. Cheers.

Random Time with Kappa Loren. Dot. Dot. Dot.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Be insane... because well behaved women never make history.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let life wonder how the heck you did that

50 Things Not to Do at Hogwarts(winkwink)

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldey senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class sky clad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's detention to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on his or her arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every Potions class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as body lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasley twins "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.( No idea where that came from, just for the 50's sake)€

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

The Ifs of Kappa Loren

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word four letters or less, copy and paste this onto your profile ("wear").

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile (I have a scar).

If you have ever tripped where there is a 'watch your step' sign, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. (Black Papaya, Dinosaur,MORON!)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list:

danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly , Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Harry's My Boy, Kappa Loren...

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you do not like me, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that was just a ridiculous, idiotic... etecera statement, copy and paste this in your profile.