About Me XD

Name: Kyle

Age: 16

From: Scotland

I enjoy reading books, my favourite author is Stephen King and my favourite book is The Shining (also loved the movie :D). I love horrors, mainly because the characters are stupid (in most films e.g. When a Stranger Calls (remake)) but I also like, some, films based about WWII e.g. Schindler's List, The Pianist. I like re-watching old t.v. programmes- Friends, BtVS, Will and Grace are some of my favourites but I also enjoy The Inbetweeners and The Big Bang Theory.

P.S Don't get put off by my summaries! I'm bad at them but my stories aren't that bad (I don't think)

Actual Consumer Labels:

Bag of candy: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Bar of soap: Use like regular soap. (But how do you use regular soap?)

Dessert (bottom of box): Do not turn upside down. (Too late.)

Chainsaw: Warning - Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands. (Dammit!)

Keyboard: Warning - To reduce possibilities of fatal injuries, please read instructions manual.

Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery after consuming. (Because 10-year-olds can totally drive.)

Child's Superman Costume: Warning - Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

American Airlines Packet of Peanuts: Instructions - Open bag, eat nuts. (Warning: May contain nuts.) (No, really?)

Swimming Pool: Please refrain from shaving when using the whirlpool or sauna.

Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (What? But I do that all the time!)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's "just" a suggestion)

On Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)

On packaging for a iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Darn, I thought it was going to keep me up all night)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Whoa, news flash…!)

On a chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and copy and paste this onto your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

Not on Hiatus, just been in a lot of stress, but don't worry, there should be plenty of updates going on after a months time when I've finished my prelims :)

Year of the Weasley: Should be updated sometime this week

When at...: If anyone has any ideas for a better name please share! Sorry about the long wait guys, it has finally been updated! Won't make any promises about when next it'll be done, but fingers crossed it'll be soon :)