Author has written 5 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.
Hey Everyone its CLUMSYASBELLALITERALLY. Yes that is a true statement. I am very clumsy I have always been that way and consider it a part of who I am. My boyfriend loves that about me. no none of my family knows about him and none of his family knows about me we want it to be that way for a little while. we just want to be able to have each other. Yes we are crazy in love it is not just a crush. Twilight is our favorite series. I am addicted to everything that has anything to do with it. yay!! I love animals. Im a senoir in high school Im in choir and FFA. I want to be a conservationist. I am 17.I will be 18 in 7 months. I am a vallivue falcon brown and gold are my colors. i love to rodeo queen,read,write,listen to music,sing,ect. so heres a little about me if you want to know more all you have to do is ask. i will start putting up my stories soon. oh i like to copy stuff if you dont like it scroll on down but trust me these are worth reading i wouldnt copy them if they werent they only take a couple minutes of your time to read. so yeah bye.
If you hate stereotypes, put this on your profile (bold when they apply to you):
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I must have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terriost.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a jerk.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convienance store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I'm INTO THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a ho.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I must be ugly...or crazy.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I'm BLACK so I must love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND/Marching Band/Colorguard, so I MUST be a dork
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so i MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I love SHOPPING, so i MUST be rich.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm an OG so I must be mexican.
I'm fat so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I am BIRACIAL so I MUST have smart days AND dumb days
I love ANIMALS so I MUST become the CRAZY OLD CAT LADY
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST talk only about guys, clothes, and other girls.
I'm an ARTIST/MUSICIAN, so I MUST spend my weekends getting high.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be racist against black people.
I LIKE TO READ, so I MUST be a dork/nerd/geek.
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think you're all going to Hell.
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST be homophobic.
I'm FROM THE SOUTH, so I MUST have a country accent/listen to country music.
I'm FROM THE SOUTH, so I MUST be racist.
I CALL OTHER GIRLS PRETTY, so I MUST be lesbian.
I WEAR PANTS THAT DON'T FALL DOWN, so I MUST be gay.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST hate GLBT, Mexicans, and people who get abortions.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST be an illegal immigrant.
I'm HISPANIC/LATINO(A), so I MUST be from Mexico.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I've decided to REMAIN ABSTINANT, so I MUST be GLBT.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST work at a casino.
I have GERMAN HERITAGE, so I MUST be a Nazi
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I act HAPPY so I MUST have a prefect life and not know real pain.
I DON'T DATE, so I MUST be GLBT.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I went to a party, Mom
I felt proud of myself,
I made a healthy choice,
I got into my car,
Now Im lying on the pavement,
My own bloods all around me,
Im sure the guy had no idea,
So why do people do it, Mom
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Someone should have taught him,
My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
one message: dont drink and drive!
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle.
Girl:Slow down, i'm scared.
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No it's not, please, it's so scary.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, slow down.
Guy:Now give me a big hug
She gave him a big hug
Guy:Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me.
The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people
were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the
breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she
loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he
would die. If you would do the same for the person you love, copy this in your profile.
This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile.
My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall.
I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door.
He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Mommy...dylan brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to church , I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When dylan shot the gun, he hit me and many others,
And all because dylan , got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my head,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the dead
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an saint, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my boyfriend I'm sorry I have to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to berry the body of the person that made you cry.
FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"
FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this!
A real boyfriend.
if i dont call you
When i walk away from you mad
When i stare at your mouth
When i push you or hit you
When i start cussing at you
When im quiet
When i ignore you
When i pull away
When you see me at my worst
When you see me start crying
When you see me walking
When i'm scared
When i lay my head on your shoulder
When i grab at your hands
When i tease you
When i dont answer for a long time
When i look at you with doubt
When i say that i like you
When i bump into you
When i tell you a secret
When i look at you in your eyes
When i miss you
When you break my heart
When i say its over
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you
I hear your silence loud and clear
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
How can i miss you if you never left?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable
Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.
Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
Lifes Tough, get a helmet
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?
Only in America, do banks have braile on the drive-thru ATMs.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths
The cops never find it as funny as you do
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
You Know You're an author when...
You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. C:
A True Boyfriend:
When she walks away from you mad
A good friend wonders about your romantic history. A best friend could blackmail you with it.
My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental
Please select from the following options:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll
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