December 3, 2010

My wonderful readers,

I have found it so difficult to find the right words to say in this note, and I still don’t think I’ve done a sufficient job with it. I want you to know that, if you have any questions about anything that I’m going to address in the following paragraphs, don’t hesitate to send me a private message. I won’t always have the best answers for your questions, but I should be able to point you in a direction that will help you further your understanding of the issues at hand.

Many of you are probably wondering what in the world I’m going on about. I’ve never shared this with anyone on this site, but I’m Christian, and I think it’s about time I lived out my faith as a writer. That’s why I’ve taken so long to post anything – I’ve realized that something needs to change in the way I live my life.

I want to serve God, and not myself. For me, writing tends to serve my selfishness. I get so obsessed with the story I’m working on that I don’t pay attention to anything else. I get so drawn up in various plot lines and character traits and what-if’s and so on and so forth that I let it become more important than the person I believe died for me. And I can’t let that happen anymore.

One of my teachers once told me that if I had a chance to glorify God, then I should take it. It got me started in a ministry that I love, but like writing it can become more important than the God I serve. I have to constantly remind myself just who I’m doing it for, and just what I’m trying to show in my actions towards those I’m working with. Everything in a Christian’s life should be geared to revealing the love of Christ, who died on the cross for the sins of the world. Everything in my life should reflect the inward change that’s going on inside of me, even as we speak. And it doesn’t, much to my own chagrin.

To this end, I’ve developed a new philosophy for my stories. I’ll still write fan fiction of things like Harry Potter and Stargate, but I’ll emphasize the Biblical truths that are already canon to the fandom I’m writing for. Every story that I write will be geared to that end, and I’ll eventually put up a blog page that explains these truths in a much fuller and more direct manner than I can do here.

What do I mean by this? Here’s an example of a story idea that I’m playing with. In an AU where Harry Potter becomes independent, he realizes that he truly can’t defeat Voldemort all on his own, and seeks the aid of his friends to fulfill that goal. Even from Genesis, the Bible declares that we are not meant to walk alone on this Earth (Genesis 2:18-25). So you can take the stories I will write at face value, without reading the Biblical purpose behind it, if you feel so inclined.

What does this mean for my work in progress? It’ll go on a hiatus for a long time at the very least, if it isn’t abandoned altogether. I’m sorry that I’m doing this right at the end, but not only am I so changed that I can’t do it spiritually, I’m changed so much that I can’t physically write that style anymore. Believe me, I’ve tried writing fan fiction like that, and my heart just isn’t in it anymore.

I hope you can understand what I’m doing. I pray that you understand what I’m doing. But if you don’t, it’s alright. I’m not going to be hurt if you stop reading my stories. But I would appreciate it if you didn’t send me flame messages over it. Genuine questions or comments concerning my faith or my opinions on certain subjects I welcome with open arms – as before, flames are hurtful and will be ignored.

Thank you for listening to me stumble over my words. I hope you keep reading when I post new material.

Your friend and fellow writer,

Hoshi Kawada