| ashleytet |
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT 4 THE PEOPLE WHO READ OUR HOGWARTS YEARS, PLZ DONT BE MAD IF I DONT UPDATE 4 ABOUT 2 YEARS!! MY NETBOOK IS JUST TOTALLY BROKEN AND MY SISTER IS ALWAYS ON THE DOWNSTAIRS COMPUTER AND ITS 2 MORE YEARS UNTIL SHE GOES TO COLLEGE SO IM DELAYING ALL UPDATES TILL SUMMER 2011!! THNX!! Hey peoples secretly im 12 he he he dont snitch! im obessed with daniel radcliffe cuz hes a super hottie and hes a good actor 2! obviously my fav book seris is harry potter but my fav fanfic seris is lily and james p! i love to play volley ball and swim cuz its awesome!! i dont write stories but i think i might write one and post it on my profile becuz its not a book or movie or cartoon its not anything i just made it up my fav fanfic story is And The story repeats itself. by HalfbloodHannah! my favorite character of all time is Sirius the teenager! I am in sirius denial he is not dead no never!! well thats me! ok now i do write stories my first one is A Diffrent Tale. its about james and lily at first you know the regular story but then it changes becuz voldemort will not be after james and lily but alice and frank. so harry will be a regular kid with his parents and maybe siblings while frank and alice have seprated them selves from their son for his safety. voldemort claims their dead everyone believes him but are they really voldemort vanquishes after he tries to kill neville and nevillle is given to his grandmother but then something strange happens. I wonder what it is... so then im stuck i have quit A Diffrent Tale for right now becuz i want to write a different story take my poll quiz you pick. i like james/lily harry/ginny ron/hermione next generation old generation remus/lily sirius/lily street harry (magical street harry) independent/strong/grey/all hogwarts heir/lots of allies/raised by werewolves and vampires harry with the addition of a Persuarsive Dumbledore and last of all... back in time harry where he teaches his parents with his assistance/ fiance Ginny! ta ta 4 now :D and to people who hate peter pettigrew i too used to hate him untill 14hp1 showed me the light in her fanfic story boredom attack 2 when peter made an unbreakable vow to never rat out lily and james to voldemort or join him i recommend every one to read this series start with boredom attack then move on to boredom attack 2 now i very much adore peter hes one of my fav characters ok peoples i just found the best subjects ever!! 1. time travel when harry goes back in time to teach his parents and the war is starting. 2. when harry's parents return and hes in his like 5th year. 3. harry's parents never died and harry starts his 1st year at Hogwarts famous becuz of his parents y'know famous aurors but he still makes friends with ron and heromione try to find a story like this one becuz this is my favorite! Love is always there, Even when you're nowhere. It's in your shoes, Sometimes gives you the blues, but no matter what you do. Love stays pure and true. ~Ashley(me) Y'know i was just thinking about Harry potter (no surprise there) then it hit me like smack in the face. If wizard pictures could talk why didn't they just pull out a picture of Lily and James to set Sirius free? "This land is your land, this land is my land, I've got a shot gun, and you ain't got one, if you don't get off, I'll blow your head off, this land is privet property!"~ Unknown. Harry Potter Movie and Book Quotes: Professor McGonagall: Now, Mr. Weasley, place your right hand on my waist. Harry: Hagrid warned me about the dragons! Harry: "But you are normal! You've just got a-a problem-" Mad Eye Moody: Don't put your wand there, boy! What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!" Sirius: Did you like question ten, Moony?" Lupin: Think I did, One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin... Ron: I want to fix that in my memory forever, Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret... ‘James Potter and Sirius Black, Apprehended using illegal hex upon Bertram Aubrey. Aubrey’s head twice normal size. Double detention’ And the all time fave... "Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and i love you roses are red, ashes are black, go to hell, and never come back. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Someday my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. Man: Have I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy. Man: So what do you do for a living? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest. When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it. Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind. I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Let's flip a coin. Heads, We'll be together, tails, we'll flip again. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Why are the Force and ducktape the same? Both have a light and a dark side and hold the universe together. You have to have darkness for a dawn to come. Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world. Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set. Tell the truth and run. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic ... maybe we should have amateurs build everything. If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit? Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'? Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?? When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade. Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery. Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much. If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust? Let me know if anything I say offends you - I might want to offend you later. One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons! I smile because I have no idea what's going on. Life was so simple when boys had cooties. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. I ran with scissors and lived! I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not. Come join the dark side. (We have Edward Cullen) All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile. My favorite word is sarcasm. It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day. Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips. Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. Somebody needs a Happy Meal. Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. My heart is not a playground I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out. If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you. Love can come in many different colours. What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy. Twilight Oath I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlie's sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle Whenever I am in the emergency room And I promise to remember Emmett Everytime there's a huge boom I promise to to remember Rose Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful bronze hair And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me they care I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my stomach isn't curled And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes, I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know The 10 Commandments of Twilight 1. I am the best book out there, you shall have no better ones than I. 2. You shall not take Edward Cullen's name in vain. 3. Remember to keep release dates calendared. 4. Honor the Cullen's for gracing you with their presence. 5. You shall not kill humans or shape-shifting wolves. 6. You shall not love both Edward and Jacob equally. 7. You shall not steal Twilight books from your friends to see how they will react when they can't read them anymore. 8. You shall not lie, for Edward will know that you did anyways. 9. You shall not covet Edward. 10. You shall not covet Edward's Volvo, or various Cullen cars. Everyone is entitled to being stupid, but you just abuse the privilege. I would say "screw you" but I think to many people already have. I am really trying to imagine you with a personality. Oops, I can't. Not the brightest crayon in the box, now, are we? Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. You're a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal. You just won't leave me alone, will you? You know, people like you are the reason why people like me need medication. Is it time for your medication or mine? Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot! Roses are red, List 5 reasons why I shouldn't talk to you. And then read them over and over. If stupidity was a crime, you'd get the electric chair. 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box." Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over. "Let's eat grandpa!!" "Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?" My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding. "Good friends will pick you up when your down, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh" "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all its pupils." "It takes forty-six muscles to frown, but only four to flip 'em the bird." "Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda." Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward (into a vampire), God is Carlisle. That and when every one of us woke up and saw Carlisle, we thought he was God. And God (Carlisle) said, "Let there be Edward," . . . and it was good. I am the future of Britain. Be very, very afraid. Even if the voices aren't real, they got some great ideas. Sometimes I get the urge to run around naked . . . but then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking. What not to say to the police: "You're not going to check the trunk, are you?" Oh my God, look at you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident? Some call it stalking; I call it love. I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Excerpts from Harry Potter, from StillMe-StillOBSESSED's profile: Philosopher's Stone: Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides. "Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?" - Chamber of Secrets: Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..." Hermione, however, clapped a hand to her forehead. "Harry -- I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!" And she sprinted away, up the stairs. - Prisoner of Azkaban: As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map. "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." "Well...when we were in our first year, Harry-young, carefree, and innocent-" Trelawney: "Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?" - Goblet of Fire: "OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!" "Enjoying it?" said Ron darkly. "I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him onto the subject of his boss. 'According to Mr. Crouch...as I was saying to Mr. Crouch...Mr. Crouch is of the opinion...Mr. Crouch was telling me...' They'll be announcing their engagement any day now." Ron: "Who're you going with then?" - Order of the Phoenix "Who's Kreacher?" "Didn't you listen to Dolores Umbridge's speech at the start-of-term feast, Potter?" Dudley: "Mark Evans cheeked me." Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's. "Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice. "Excellent." said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -" - Half-Blood Prince: "Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?" "And that's Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle," said a dreamy voice, echoing over the grounds. "He did the commentary last time, of course, and Ginny Weasley flew into him, I think probably on purpose, it looked like it. Smith was being quite rude about Gryffindor, I expect he regrets that now he's playing them - oh, look, he's lost the Quaffle. Ginny took it from him. I do like her, she's very nice..." Talking about Inferi in DADA... "When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a look to see if it's solid, aren't we? We're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'" - Deathly Hallows: “I was awake half the night thinking it all over, and I believe it’s a plot to get the house.” "Ron, you know full well Harry and I were brought up by Muggles!” said Hermione. “We didn’t hear stories like that when we were little, we heard ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ and ‘Cinderella’—“ RULES FOR LIFE AT HOGWARTS 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms. 3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 4) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. 6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. 7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda. 8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar. 9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy. 10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "Time of the Month." 11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals. 12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches. 13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout, "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!" 15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor. 17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental. 18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends." 20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want. 21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 22) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting, "I got the power!" 23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Highly inappropriate, albeit very funny.) 24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom. 25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate. 26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway. 27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." 30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife. 32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant. 33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. 34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot, gay sex will occur. 35) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagal that she takes herself too seriously. 36) "Ya'll check this shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental 37) I will not say the phrase, "Dude, get a life," to Voldemort. 38) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. (He will take you up on it.) 39) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy. 40) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord 1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No," and shoot him. On second thought, I'll shoot him, then say, "No." 8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess/hansome prince, we will be married immediately in a quiet, civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large, red button labeled, "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such. 10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat. 12. One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. 13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of a cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. 14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. 15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation. 16. I will never utter the sentence, "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know." 17. When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to their advice. 18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time. 19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her family in the blink of an eye. 20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. 21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset. 22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. 23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks. 24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line, "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.) 25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot. 26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber. 27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times. 28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble. 29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. 30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief. 31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick. 32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. 33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions. 34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. 35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X. 36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. 37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant. 38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age. 39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army. 40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve. 41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices. 42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, naked mole rat, or whatever sickeningly-cute, little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. 43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the alluring rebel and they claim they are attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray their companions if I just let them in on my plans. 44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. 45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say, "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling. 46. If an adviser says to me, "My liege, he is but one person. What can one person possibly do?" I will reply, "This," and kill the adviser. 47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature. 48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge. 49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper. 50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks. 51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position. 52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about. 53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says, "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say, "Oh well," and kill her. 54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary. 55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However, before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention. 56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice. 57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual. 58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner. 59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am. 60. My five-year-old child adviser will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords. 61. If my advisers ask, "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them. 62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight. 63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals. 64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage. 65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment Room. 66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system. 67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency. 68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again. 69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild. 70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner. 71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no. 72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable super-weapon on them. 73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisers assure me it is impossible for them to win. 74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old adviser can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk. 75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time. 76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.) 77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer. 78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror, "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be, "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical." 79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins. 80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress. 81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw. 82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure. 83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him. 84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex. 85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve Stones of Power on the sacred altar, then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of, "Push the button." 86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded. 87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them. 88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again. 89. After I capture the hero's super-weapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him. 90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door. 91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important. 92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.) 93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first. 94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value. 95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look. 96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa. 97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled. 98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution. 99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size. 100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" Random Copy and Paste Stuff. ╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this in your profile (\_/) Meaning of color and your birthday!! Don 't cheat, If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!, The answers are at the bottom. 1. Which is your favorite color out of: red , black , blue , green , or yellow? 2. Your first initial? 3. Your month of birth? 4. Which color do you like more, black or white? 5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 6. Your favorite number? 7. Do you like Flying or Driving more? 8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more? 9. Write down a wish (a realistic one). When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!) Answers: 1. If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - You are conservative and aggressive. Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue- You are spontaneous and love, kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 2. If your initial is: A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 3. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. 4. If you chose: Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 5. This person is your best friend. 6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime. 7. If you chose: Flying: You like adventure. Driving: You are a laid back person. 8. If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. 9. This wish will come true only if you re-post this in one hour as "Meaning of color and your birthday!" and it will come true before your next birthday Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Hikuya, Briar Elwood, Megan Cooper, xxTunstall Chickxx, PoisionedRoses, Gabby510,twilightobsessedOECD, DistractedButSerious, FunnyMonkey7799 Mommy, I love you --tear jerker copy and paste thingy Try not to cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you. A poem I am passing on about child abuse, I hope you pass it on too. My name is Tiffany, I am three, My eyes are swollen, I cannot see, I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made, My daddy so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy, Would still want to hug me, I can’t do a wrong, I can’t speak at all, Or else im locked up, All day long, When im awake im all alone, The house is dark, My folks aren’t home, When my mommy does come home, I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get, One whipping tonight, I just heard a car, My daddy is back, From Charlie’s bar, I hear him curse, My name is called, I press myself, Against the wall, I try to hide, From his evil eyes, I’m so afraid now, I’m starting to cry, He finds me weeping, Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault, He suffers at work, He slaps and hits me, And yells at me more, I finally get free, And run to the door, He’s already locked it, And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me, Against the hard wall, I fall to the floor, With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream, But its now much to late, His face has been twisted, Into a unimaginable shape, The hurt and the pain, Again and again, O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops, and heads for the door, While I lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor, My name is tiffany, I am three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me, And you can help to stop this for others. And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be One heartless person to not be effected By this poem and because you are effected, Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on! If you are against child abuse. Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile. If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile. f you are a clutz like me, copy and past this into your profile. 80 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasnt copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. 98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile. (Well, I'm way more insane than her.) If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Bellatrix is creepy and should have been killed by Neville (not that there's anything wrong with Molly Weasly kicking her but) copy and paste thins in to your profile If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! f you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile. (And PROUD of it!) Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. (don't get me started..) If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've met your near twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (i hate clocolate!) If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! CATS ROCK MY SOCKS! If u think cats r awesome, copy this to your profile, and add your name to this list: Brambleclaw's Babe, Amber Sea, Mistwing, Littlewhisker Snowstorm25 If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals but don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer. If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. You Know You Live in 2009 When: 1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. The reasons for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name or myspace. 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote than just pushing the button on the TV 6. You just tried to defend yourself against the computer by saying something like 'The TV doesn't have buttons anymore!' 7. You just realised that you were defending yourself from an inanimate object. 8. Your parents can't even survive school anymore. (It is a fact that many 5th graders know geography more than their parents) 9. You've gotten in trouble at school for sending in a report full of cht spk typose, nd smily faces. 10. You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling. 11. As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends. 12. You were too busy to notice number 5. 13. You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5. 14. And now you're laughing at your stupidity. 15. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did. You Know You Live In the USA If: 1. Pizza can get to your house faster then an ambulance 2. Banks leave both doors open, then chain pens to the counter. 3. There are drive-up ATMs with Braille lettering on them 4. You've seen people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. You've seen cars worth thousands of dollars parked in a driveway, while useless junk crowds up garages. 6. Post this in your profile if you live in the US... or if you've ever done one of these things. If you like being random and hyper copy and paste this into your profile. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile. If you think that those kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma SOta Balcu", as he buried her.Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night, she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. If you hate school, but don't want to miss a day of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. FT. - If you wish you went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, then copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list with you house of choice: FiyeroTiggular93 - Slytherin, Weirder Than You - Ravenclaw, Summer Sweetheart - Hufflepuff, GabsGen - Gryffindor, Avataraddict - Gryffindor, FunnyMonkey7799-Ravenclaw Try Not to Cry Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you. Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. One more life that will never love... If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book, and if I do dance, I dance solo. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak or a geek either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space or Yahoo, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or a regular phone. I am the girl that doesn't stalk boys because they're cute or are jocks. I am the girl who sings her heart out in public. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words, who believes in her dreams, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and Paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone. If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile! If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile! If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile! If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile! Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO! If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile! If you are sad because there will be no more Harry Potter books , copy and paste this into your profile If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile. If you've ever fallen UP stairs, copy this on your profile! If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile. 'At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came Even when you cant see Him, God is there. If you believe in God put this in your profile. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU...If you want this kind of guy, copy and paste this into your profile. A black man went into a restaurant and the white man at the till said "Colored people aren't allowed here." The black man said... "When I was born I was black, when I'm hot I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm sick I'm black, and when I die I'll be black. But... When you were born you was pink, when you are hot you are red, when you are cold you are blue, when you are sick you are green, and when you die you'll be purple. And you're calling me colored? Paste this on your file if you're against racism. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so thatmommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1.. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my butt when I ask where the toilet is? 2.People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T...V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3.When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". You're darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4.When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? 5.When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the movie theatre and stare at the stupid floor. 6.People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new , then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, 8.When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbbutt? Don't tell me your age; The Hershey Man will know! YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) 3. Add 5 4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 .. 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!) THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS. chocolate Calculator. >> READ THIS! youll be glad you did! > >> Just repost, please copy and paste !! with the If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile If you have your own personal bubble space, copy and paste this into your profile If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile. There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people, copy and paste this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. If you think believe in werewolf rights copy and paste this onto your profile. WOOOO! GO REMUS! Quotes and other random stuff: Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to. – Anon. 'When life hand you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes!' "Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do insult them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes." – Anon. "Friends are God’s apology for relatives.” – Anon. Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape. A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it. Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? ~ Anon. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. ~ Anon. Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape. A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" Girls Boys are like slinkies; practically useless, and yet it is SO amusing to watch them fall down the stairs!! Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up. Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it... My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. I don't obsess! I think intensely. If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out. He: Why do you wear a Bra if you've got nothing to fill it in? He: Is this seat empty? He: Can I invite you a drink? He: Can I have this song? He: Your body is like a temple. He: Where were you all my life? He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them nearly as much. Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is. Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’. Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever. Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hogwarts has seen in a while. Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her. Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’. Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy … disagrees. Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Ron Weasley … is very afraid. Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much. Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat. Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out. George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry. Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter. James Potter … doesn’t believe her. Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’. Sirius Black … killed by drapery. Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences. Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane. Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush. Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’. Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence. Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet. Things that make you feel good: 1. Falling in love. -The Best Friend Pledge- 1. When you are blue, I will try and dislodge whatever is in your throat. 2. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 3. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 4. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could get until you stop whining. 5. When you are confused, I will use little words. 6. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me. I don't want whatever you've got.Jk (sort of). 7. When you fall, I will ask if you're okay, sit there and laugh at your clumsy butt. A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa. A best friend calls your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS! A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue." A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you. A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'm home!" A good friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions. A good friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance. A good friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them. A good friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me. A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place. A good friend has your back. A best friend has a KICK ME sign to put on it. A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too. A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life. If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy) crystalwolfberri (Kratos: ToS, Kaito: MMPPP, TK: Digimon Adventure 02) Edward's Cantante (Edward Cullen, duh... Prince Caspian, Seth from Wicked Lovely, Roger from Rent, ), Twinkle951 (Edward Cullen /who wouldn't/ from Twilight series, , and probably Syaoran from cardcaptors/ what can i say...) DistractedButSerious( Harry Potter, and Young James Potter, and Sirius Black), ashleytet (Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasly, Jasper duh! and young Sirius Black.) (o.k. so like i dont have a crush on him but Hagrid is soooo adorable!!) For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Harry Potter (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Harry or James Potter is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you call everyone in the phone book that has the last name Potter. Crazy is when you imagine yourself as part of the "Wizarding World" and tells all your friends about it. Crazy is when you honestly believe Hogwarts exists. Crazy is when you control your thoughts for fear of being heard by Edward. Crazy is every wish you make has to do with Harry Potter. Crazy is when you look down this list and admit you have done almost all of this. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! Copy this onto your profile if you are adicted to your computer and wonder how people got along without them back in the 1950s, you know the stone age- ¤º°¨ ¸„ø¤º°¨°º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„ ¨°º¤ø„ ¸Techno Forever º¤ø„¸ ¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º „¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø Your One and Only Wish 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Mrs. Radcliffe-Efron, XBeautifulbabe405X Hollywood x Blondie, stessa, jade-kwl-name-eva, rainbow rocker, ComputerGirl12, Always Juliet,cantlivewithoutharrypotter, ashleytet, The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Have you ever fallen going UP the stairs? Copy and paste this to your profile if you have (\JB/) I am Jonas Bunny. If you think Channy/Stemi is the best couple ever post this on your page If you love Sonny with a Chance post this on your page If you love disney channel post this on your page If you love Fan Fiction post this on your page EOTSWACD (Extreme Obsession To Sonny With A Chance Disorder) EOTJBD (Extreme Obsession To Jonas Brothers Disorder) EOTDCD (Extreme Obsession To Disney Channel Disorder) If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.. If you are obsessed with fan-fiction copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocloate as much as I do copy this in your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason copy and paste this into your profile. ‘A girl asked a guy if she was pretty, he said no, If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. Sometimes you have to cry for no reason to make up for all the times you wanted to cry, but didn't If you love Demi Lovato (or her music/movies), and think she rocks (but not as much as the Jonas Brothers), copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Selena Gomez, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Wizards of Waverly Place, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Sonny With A Chance, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love JONAS, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Camp Rock, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a weird sense of humor like I do, copy and paste this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! If you think you like chocolate as much as I do, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think you like sugar as much as I do, copy and paste this into your profile. If you annoy people just for fun, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious, snobby, preppy people, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane (and proud of it!), copy and paste this into your profile. (We're all crazy. And I love it :)! ) If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere, copy and paste this into your profile. (Oh yeah, now I'm hyper... ahh and now I'm hungry! CORN POPS BOYYY!!) f you can't stop thinking of things to add to your profile, but really want to stop, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back. When you're down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you. You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did. Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within. GOD who else wants to cry now?? Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up. A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isn't it?" People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. "Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. 96 percent of the teen population is made up of followers. Copy this into your profile if you're the 4 percent who follows the beat of their own drum (or air guitar!). I, cantlivewithoutharrypotter, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else. I have joined the review revolution. Fanfiction writers of the world, unite! If you love the Jonas Brothers, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have OJD then copy and paste this into your profile. IIf you were a true Jonas Brothers fan before the episode "Me and Mr. Jonas and Mr. Jonas and Mr. Jonas" aired, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have O.J.D (Obsessive Jonas Disorder), put this in your profile. When life hands you lemons, throw them back and yell "I WANT THE JONAS BROTHERS!!" It's Weird To Be Normal And Normal To Be Weird If at first you do succeed...try not to look so astonished. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. If you're against animal cruelty copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe in magic, copy and paste this into your profile. (Go HP!) If you have ever looked all over the house for something that was in your hand the whole time copy and paste this into your profile. !eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile! I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile. If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile If random songs just pop into your head at any given momet, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family ect. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile. If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile If you have a dog, and wish he could talk like total, copy this onto your profile. If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever read something and had something a teacher said the next day remind you of what you read to the point where you burst into outragous stifled laughterand had your "peers" look at you strangely or point and laugh at you, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a CHOC AHOLIC -TALK AHOLIC -OR A-SHOP AHOLIC then copy and paste this! If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father and the glory of Heaven. If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile. If you've been called insane multiple times by multiple people and yet you still deny your insanity copy and paste this into your profile. If you cried ALOT reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, please copy and paste this into your profile. If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name to the list: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, Emerald Bear, Kyprioths Shadow, Ebony Rayne, lillypop, An-Jelly-Ca, The-Fan-Who-Lived,cantlivewithoutharrypotter, If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, Faxness-Fan48, An-Jelly-Ca,cantlivewithoutharrypotter, If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. I live in my own little world. but it's ok, they know me there Education is important. school however, is another matter. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile (")_(") : Copy this and paste it into your profile and help bunny gain world domination! My name is Tiffany (Another one) -Anonymous If you are against child abuse, please pass this on. /l、 Help Kitty Defeat Bunny I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE! If you too are in Sirius denial then copy and paste this into your profile. Because denial is not just a river in Egypt Month One Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home thought. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too. and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I dont like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor calls it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me! Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me mommy? Every Abortion Is Just... One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. If your against abortion, re-post this This seriously made me cry. If you are not against abortion and don't repost this, you are a cruel and heartless being! "I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you." If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile. If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are obsessed with over 30 characters from books...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile If you spend lots of time talking to yourself and reciting lines from your characters, copy this into your profile. If you do random junk, definetly copy all of the above into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. If you have have many boyfriends, all fictional, and from books or movies, paste this into your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love, rain, the wind, and the cold copy and paste this in to your profile. If you have ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy this into your profile. If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, then copy this into your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile. Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever fell over in public and had people laugh at you. Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever fallen asleep in any lessons. Copy and paste this into you profile if you have ever hit something very hard to cause damage, but ended up hurting yourself in the process. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. I'm bored... If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you have ever forgotten what you are going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. HOMOPHOBIA IS STUPID!! I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday. Actual Court Readings These were taken from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these conversations were taking place. Attorney: Are you sexually active? Attorney: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? Attorney: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Attorney: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken? Attorney: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? Attorney: She had three children, right? Attorney: How was your first marriage terminated? Attorney: Can you descirbe the individual? Attorney: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a desposition notice which I sent to your attorney? Attorney: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? Attorney: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? Attorney: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? This has got to be one of the most clever PRESBYTERIAN: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ANIMOSITY: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: Bet your friends haven't seen this one!! Girls You know you live in 2009 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" Now you have two choices 1) repost and show you care 2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart (Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care) Love vs. Sex A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, When she reached the alley, which was a short However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to She felt she could recognize the man, so The police asked her if she would be She agreed and immediately pointed out When the man was told he had been The officer thanked Diane for her bravery She asked if they would ask the man one Diane was curious as to why he had not When the policeman asked him, he Amazingly, whether you believe or not, Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile When I first saw you, I was afraid to meet you. When I first met you, I was afraid to kiss you. When I first kissed you, I was afraid to fall in love with you. Now that I've fallen in love with you... I can only pray not to lose you. Aurora was only five This is what happened When she was alive Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly cry's She loves her parents But they want her to die She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking," God, why? Why is My life always sinking?" Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made She thrust the blade Right in her chest, " You deserve to die You worthless pest! " The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying Police showed up At the small little house They quickly barged in Everything was as quiet as a mouse One officer slowly Opened a door To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!! Check this out... I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile COPY AND PASTE THIS IF YOU THINK HARRY POTTER IS BETTER THAN TWILIGHT! You say Cullen I say Potter. If you think that those stupid kids should just give rabbit thou freakin' Trix, copy and paste this to your profile! 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off! If you have your own little world, copy and paste into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star had the same tune. (Don't worry I was just as shocked as you are!) | |||||||||
1. Our Hogwarts Years » reviewsCOME AGAIN SUMMER OF 2011 AS SOON AS SCHOOL IS OUT ILL HAVE THE NEW CHAPTER UP AND READY TO GO! SO SEE U SUMMER OF 2011!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,290 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 10-3-09 - Published: 7-6-09 - Lily Evans P. & Petunia D.2. If Harry Potter was Real reviewsOneshot. Takes place in real life. What if Harry Potter was real? Just who would be the one to discover it? rated for language.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,471 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-13-09 - Harry P. & OC - Complete3. A Diffrent Tale » reviewsWhat if Voldemort wasn't after james and lily what if lily and petunia were best friends wat if harry was going to hogwarts with his parents still living wat if neville was the boy who lived marauder alert! ABANDONED UP 4 ADOPTION!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,547 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 6-27-09 - Published: 6-10-09 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete