Hiya! I'm Erin!

REASONS WHY GIRLS ARE THE BEST

1. We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

1. What would you say about your boyfriend?
Are we the Waiting by: Green Day (Jut got out of a long distance relationship becuase we couldn't see eachother for a very long time, makes scary sense)

2.What is the first thing you say in the morning?
Runaway by Maroon 5 (Runway from the Alarm is more like it)

3. Your teacher is...
Fenland in Flames by James Newton Howard (Not a clue)

4. What's written on your classroom's blackboard?
Decode by Paramore (Sounds like a regular day in Maths class)

5. How would you describe your next door neighbours?
Bleed by Collective Soul (They're not even that bad)

6. What would your Best Friend say about you?
False Pretense by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Tis true, I'm rarely myself around anyone)

7. How do you feel right now?
Hung Up On You by Fountains of Wayne (Weird... I just had a fight with my boyfriend)

8.What's on your bedside table right now?
Spotlight by Mute Math (My lamp is bring enough to be one- I blinded myself the other day)

9.What did you do when you woke up this morning?
Run by Gyroscope (I did go for a run- I'm all about being healthy!)

10. When you open your wardrobe you see...
My Heart by Paramore (Nope, it's still in my chest last time I checked)

11. What did you say after you last attended a concert?
Californication by Red Hot Chilli Peppers (Nope after I went to MUSE I just screamed)

12. If you had to write a Fan Fic right now, what would it be called?
Burn It To The Ground by Nickelback (Yeah, I could do that)

13. A song you would sing at your school's talent show?
Black Eyes, Blue Tears by Shania Twain (Can't sing for shit!)

14. Your life's theme song?
Here I Am by Bryan Adams (Totally, I'm kinda a wallflower)

15. How would you describe what you are doing this moment?
Time of Dying by Three Days Grace (Nah, I'm kinda happy with life- not suicidal at all)

16. If you had to go and jump off a building, what would your last words be?
The Kids Aren't Alright by The Offspring (Random but in hindsight, kinda hilarious)

17. Your motto is..
Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (No freaking idea?)

18. If you could by anything in this world you'd buy...
Just to Get High by Nickelback (Not a stoner sooooo... Nope)

19. What did you dream about tonight?
We Cry by The Script (Morbid)

20. Any last words?
Assasin by MUSE (Yeah I'm cool enough to be killed by an Assasin)

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

INSANITY IS A RARE GIFT! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME FOR IT!!