OK, this is me: I'm the product of an Anglo-Irish marriage, brought up in the agricultural region of England's West Country, moving to London when I was 19 in search of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. I am happy to report I found all three. Despite extensive partying, alcohol and substance abuse I have, miraculously, found myself in my 50s, working as an Executive Assistant for an international construction consultancy in the heart of London's West End. I have never married (although I came close once, but regained my senses just in time) and have never had children, which is probably just as well because I would have made a terrible mother (kids would have SERIOUSLY cramped my style!) - think Edina and Saffy! In my teens and 20s I had a vague ambition to become a rock singer, but the above-mentioned self-abuse has long since put paid to that. Having discovered Rob Pattinson in February 2009 I am now hopelessly and irrevocably in love/obsessed with what might as well be a fictional character for all the good it does me.

I smoke and swear like a 5-bob prostitute and still probably drink too much. I flirt outrageously with men young enough to be my sons and don't give a shit, because at my age I know (and they know) that nothing is going to happen, so it's fun without consequences.

I now spend most of my free time (and a lot of time when I should be doing work or other things) hanging out with all the wonderful women I "met" at Random Acts of Rob, now defunct, but in it's time the best damn Rob site on the net, and reading fan fiction, specifically Edward & Bella stories and always M rated cos I'm a filthy old slapper!

I constantly toy with the idea of writing my own fan fic (have written a Rob one-shot, but am two chicken-shit to post it). All I've managed is a one-shot outtake based on the awesomely talented Savage's Offside - you can find it listed below under My Stories. Maybe one day one day I'll try something original.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, my avitar is a Super Massive Black Hole (it's a euphemism LOL!)

Thngs I love (in no particular order):

My friends; my brothers; driving fast cars; music (too eclectic & extensive to list); Italian food; old movies; beautiful shoes; cold, clear, autumnal nights; open fires; wine; champagne; vodka; proper old-fashioned English pubs; trees; men - and, of course, the aforementioned Mr Pattinson.

Things I hate:

Lies; hypocrisy; traffic; discourtesy; cruelty to animals and children; artichokes; buses; arthritis; my stupid bad back; men(!)

If you want to follow me on Twitter, I'm @FluffyLiz http://twitter.com/