Heya! I was here for a bit before I got my username, so if there's a mysterious review from Jill or Jilly, it's me. Unless there's another Jill running around the site, reviewing random fics. But if it was a Leverage, Bones, NCIS, CSI: NY or CSI: Miami fic, and there's a review from Jill, then it's probably me. Good thing that's cleared up!

I made this account mainly so I could get an email when any of my favorite stories updated, but I felt guilty not giving anything back, so I wrote my first ever fic for you guys. And by 'you guys' I mean the one person who's going to read this. Who knows, maybe more than one. Maybe even two! Oh well. If I make even one person smile with my fics, it was worth it.

This is a list of my shows n' ships, for future reference, listed alphabetically because I'm mental like that and I have nothing to do for at least two hours. Anyway, here it is:

Bones: B&B (Booth and Brennan), Angela and Hodgins. Grad Support: I like Wendall Bray for the permanent grad spot. It's not a ship, but it is a preference and I think it's worth listing.

Burn Notice: Michael and Fiona. Yeah, I know, that was hard to guess, huh?

CSI: Miami: C/E (Calleigh and Eric) although I'm not a fanatic, H/Y (Horatio and Yelina, I don't know the fancy name for that ship and I don't want to)

CSI: NY: D/L (Danny and Lindsay), SMAcked (Mac and Stella, isn't everyone a SMacked shipper deep down?)

Criminal Minds: No ships. I don't watch much, but I read the fics sometimes, it's a good show.

The Cleaner: I like Akani/ Swenton, although I'm not really sure it's canon. It's just a hunch, really. I hate the cheesiness of the show, I hate the actors, the characters, the storylines, and every time I consider why I watch it I think I'm crazy, but while I watch it I understand why and I love it. Then, afterwards, I think 'Why did I watch such crap?!' Then it starts again. Just like how you feel when you eat a really delicious but extraordinarily fatty food that you love but just know will not let you fit into those jeans (that's an analogy, my jeans fit fine).

Flashpoint: Sam/Jules. Can't wait for the new season in spring '10! Also can't wait to find out what the heck is going on with that ship, because, right now, it looks sunk!

Fringe: Olivia/Peter, but I also like Peter/Rachel. Oh well, at least I'll be happy no matter what happens, right? Unless they go and do a Charlie Francis to him, which by the way, is really low. And now this cover-up about him leaving for 'creative differences'? Yeah right!

House: FORETEEN! (Foreman and Thirteen, aka Remy Hadley) Lots of Foreteen! I love that ship and I saw it coming during the end scene of 'Lucky Thirteen'. I'm not a huge Huddy (House and Cuddy) shipper, but if they do it right I'll like it (and the House writers are usually good about that). I support Chameron (Chase and Cameron) proudly.

In Plain Sight: M&M (My own name for Mary and Marshall, if somebody else thought of it first, sorry, but I really did come up with it without any outside help), but I also like Mary/Raph, and Raph/Brandy, and Brandi/Peter. Wow, they're just good at the romance and the love-geometric-shapes! And, as of 'Miles to Go', I like the Marshall/Shelly ship. Do you see my problem?! Did anyone else know that the actor who plays Shelley is actually the actor who plays Marshall's real life wife? Because that was a shock to me!

Law and Order: SVU: I watch some reruns on USA, and the occasional new episode. I just don't have time. I liked Stabler/Dani, but I'm rational and I realize she's gone, probably never to return. I like O/E (Olivia and Elliot), but realize and accept happily that it's never gonna happen. For those of you who retain hope, I don't mean to squash your dreams, but those two characters were named after the creator's young children, so they're not exactly gonna have them doin' the nasty, right? (wow, I think I just turned into an old lady)

Leverage: Nate/Sophie, Parker/Hardison, and I feel really bad for Eliot, because he's a nice person and he doesn't have a ship in the group. I liked Aimee, but that's definitely over.

Lie To Me: Cal/Gillian (finally! A smart Gillian! Most women on TV with my name are prostitutes. I am not kidding. If you never noticed that, it's because you tend to notice your name more, but believe me, most Jills or Jillys or Jillians or, in this case, Gillians, are prostitutes. It's really sad. Anyway...) because they're like soulmates, just I'm not sure it's romantically. Like they're two halves, just as friends, somewhat similar to Mac Taylor and Stella Bonasera's relationship over on CSI: NY. I don't know, maybe romance would work. We'll have to see. A bit of Ria/Loker, but he's really not good enough for her. Notice I put her name first, because she rocks.

The Mentalist: Van Pelt and Rigsby! I can't believe they finished the season without having anything really happen! Did he even ever remember the events of 'Russet Potatoes'?! A bit of Jane and Lisbon, but he won't be ready for anything much until he finds Red John.

Monk: Not really much of a ship show, but I think that maybe there could be some Monk/Natalie in the last season? Maybe? My hope on that ship is a bug which I absolutely expect to get smushed underneath the feet of TPTB (If you're new to these acronyms like me, that means The Powers That Be, aka the writers. Took me 3 months to figure that out. Not kidding).

NCIS: TIVA!! (Tony and Ziva) Lots of Tiva! Even more Tiva than Foreteen! I don't care about Aliyah, Tiva is gonna happen. TPTB like ratings and TIVA would send them soaring, just for the drama, despite what anyone may say about it ruining the show. Sex sells, and TV is written to sell. Jibbs, before Judgement Day (I'm still crying a bit inside), and McAbby (it's just too perfect to not happen).

Numb3rs: The obvious, Charlie and Amita, Don and whoever he's with now (the guy can't seem to hold down a girlfriend, huh?) I think it's Robin the prosecutor now. Also, Colby and David rock, I hate to see them as perpetual bachelors. Give 'em some girlfriends already! Do you hear me writers?! (No? I expected that.)

Psych: Shawn/Jules (yeah, toughie) and I think Gus and Lassie deserve some gf's as well. Although they'd have to write pretty carefully to find a significant other for our Lead Detective, huh? ;) Update: I don't actually ship this for the show, because it's not going to happen (tv is a for-profit business and people just haven't grown up enough to watch this on tv yet), but I've recently become obsessed with Shassie fics. I even wrote one, and that was a huge surprise because I still don't know where it came from.

Raising the Bar: Jerry/Bobbi (I like Michelle, and I think they made a good couple, but I think Bobbi's better for him. You know, because they don't rip poor souls between them in a tug-of-war contest every day. I think that puts a bit of strain on a relationship.) Richard/Roz, because he's more mature than she thinks and she likes him too, even if she won't admit it. I liked that Hispanic guy Charlie was with for a while, (believe it or not I can't fin his name) but I really don't think he'll show up again.

Scrubs: Turla (Turk and Carla, not the weird thing in 'My Princess'), JD and Elliot, and I'm wicked surprised they married off the Janitor, I never expected that. Can't wait for the new season, wonder what it'll be like goes off into fantasy... We would need a lot of gnomes! (Brownie points if you know the reference!) (Not real brownie points, and you don't have to answer or anything)

I previously had, written in this very spot, that I don't generally read slash, femslash, threesomes, etc. Of course, live and become-obsessed-with-a-canonly-unrealistic-slash-ship, right? I recently got sucked up into slash fics by reasing Sunbird Riding Shotgun's incredible 'Cell Number Eight' universe, and then I went on a Psych bender because I was a vampire for slash after reading that (that metaphor made more sense in my head). And anyway, I felt like a huge hypocrite for saying I didn't read slashfics after reading the entire M- and T-rated sections of the Shassie universe, and after writing my own it just became to hypocritical for my generally ethical self to handle, so I wrote this paragraph. However, I still only read slash that I deem reasonably realistic and well-written, as I do for all fics.

'Now you know that I'm completely crazy' (Blue, Red and Grey, more bronie points if you know) and that I'm a TV maniac. I hope you're not inching away in your seat right now.

Just some stuff that I think is funny that I'll post here whenever the desire strikes me:

-- Hardison had stared at him like he was an idiot when he asked his question, opening and closing his mouth a few times before words actually formed and he slowly said, “Eliot, you don’t win World Of Warcraft.” This is from '50 Sentances', a compilation of Leverage shorts by Anime Girl 23. I just cracked up when I read it!

-- The Department of Redundancy Department. This is some random thing my dad pulled out in response to a random thing I called redundant. Laugh attack! (Funnier in person, if you're thinking I overreacted with the laugh attack)

-- Sleep and I used to have something special... then sleep decided it wanted to see other people. My friend Aaron from school, who insisted I cite this despite the fact that he does't know what facfiction.net is (I know, the blasphemy!) and will likey never read this.

-- Conspiracy to be a btch! Mike Franks, that daredevil, on NCIS! Eppy Outlaws and In-Laws

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!! Whee, insanity is FUN!

Gay marriage:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... --

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. (I was till I discovered the rainbow)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to bash your head in with a brick.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to steal all your stuff.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be stupid and the tests are getting easier.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a STUPID IDIOT that you MUST explain things to.