For those of you who want to get to know me:

Name: Classified J. Classified (well, at least the "J" part is real)

Location: Connecticut

Age: Somewhere between being old enough to vote and too young to serve as president of the United States (i.e., over 18 and under 35). In terms of the show, you could consider me significantly older than Private while still being decades younger than Buck Rockgut.

Gender: Male

Occupation: Classified (thank you, Skipper!)

Political party: Republican

Political ideology: Conservative

Professional sports franchises supported: Pittsburgh Penguins, Pittsburgh Steelers, Pittsburgh Pirates

U.S. states visited: 13 (CT, NY, MA, RI, NJ, PA, MD, VT, NH, DE, VA, ME, WV) + D.C.

Penguin species seen at zoos: 4 (African, Gentoo, Macaroni, King)

Shoe size: 10

Bats/throws: Right/right

Writing experience: Had some past non-fiction writing published on a small-scale

Political experience: Currently serving with two appointive municipal committees (and as chairman of a subcommittee); member of a local political organizing committee (currently serving second term); served as a poll worker in three general elections (2009, 2010, 2011) and in one primary election (2010); volunteered for political campaigns since 2008; explored running for a local elected board, but ultimately withdrew when better-qualified candidates emerged (though based on the way the election went, I probably would have won had I stayed in it); delegate to judge of probate nominating convention (2010); have never missed voting in any election or primary I've been entitled to partake in (51.9% of the candidates I vote for go on to win)

Likelihood of one day running for U.S. president: 5% (with the odds of me actually winning quite unknown)

Special licenses: I hold a Certificate of Personal Watercraft Operation in the state of Connecticut, permitting me to operate any recreational, non-commercial vessel (boat) or personal watercraft in the state

Music preferences: Generally conservative in music tastes, including classic rock, country, and some pop. Among some of the artists I've seen live shows of are Charlie Daniels (2003), Trace Adkins (2004), Phil Vassar (2008), and Aaron Tippin (2010). The last-mentioned I was also able to meet for about 30 seconds after the show, just long enough for a handshake, a photo, and an autograph.

Avatar image: Skipper with a Pittsburgh Penguins logo on his chest. (I am a Penguins fan, and I guess Skipper is, too! But if you really think about it, what other team could a penguin possibly support?)

Other fandom-related accounts: SJF_Penguin2 (Fanpop), SJF-Penguin (deviantART), SJF_Penguin (Penguins HQ), SJFPenguin1854 (YouTube), @SJF_Penguin (Twitter)

Date I became a fan of The Penguins of Madagascar: April 1, 2009 (with the episodes "Paternal Egg-Stinct" and "Happy King Julien Day!")

Favorite penguin: Skipper (he's also the one I'm most like—we both focus strongly on results. I am, however, not as paranoid, and I've never been to Denmark.)

Opinion on Skilene: I support the pairing, but I generally write it as just a strong friendship with the occasional "hint" at something more in the stories that I write. I do so as a matter of personal style mainly to keep in line with canon, to maintain continuity, and to allow readers to draw their own conclusions based on the characters' hints and interactions. I also believe that any feelings the two might have for each other must first have a solid foundation in friendship and trust. However, I have broken from this "rule" of not directly revealing feelings with Skilene with a project entitled A Skilene-Filled September, in which I wrote 30 possible scenarios for the possible start of their relationship each day in September 2010.

Personal continuity: Practiced; no story I write will contradict one I've already written. Exception to the rule: A Skilene-Filled September.

Original characters created: Because I try to avoid my writing conflicting with canon, most of my stories do not feature original characters. However, three of my stories feature OCs with significant roles. In Injustice, two Magellanic Penguins, Louise and Norma, appear. East of Nowhere features the minor characters Paula, a hawk, and Lynne and Ray, Marlene's parents (although since everyone has parents, I didn't "create" these two per se, I just gave them names and roles within the story). Lastly, Beyond DNA features my most major OC, Skipper's daughter, MaryRose, as well as three supporting human characters: Roland, Connie, and Katelyn.

Middle and last names invented: While we do not know what the characters' real middle and last names are on the show (if they even have any), I have invented my own for the penguins, lemurs, and Marlene. Some of these names can be seen in a number of my stories, while others I haven't yet revealed.

Number of times my work was later contradicted by some canon development: 3

When I write: Mostly in the early a.m. hours, though there are exceptions

Review statistics: 608 received on my stories, 200 submitted on others' stories (191 of which are still live) as of January 28, 2011

Personal slogan: "Life, Liberty, and The Penguins of Madagascar." (Origin: The second sentence of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, which reads, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." For me, The Penguins of Madagascar is part of my "pursuit of happiness.")

Random monthly trivia about me, updated for February 2012: I recently bought myself the latest edition of The Chicago Manual of Style and have been reading a few of its 1,026 pages each day. While I think it is a good book to have for general knowledge, I'll admit that perhaps 50 percent of the reason why I bought it is for fan fiction writing alone.

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Open door policy: If you have any questions or comments about my stories, or if there is something you think I might be able to help you with, you may send a message to me. If a response is necessary, I can usually get back to you within 24 hours.

I appreciate your support: I would like to thank all who have taken the time to read my stories, and especially those who have posted reviews on them. I appreciate your support.

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Some information about me as a writer:

I do not write fiction for a living, and until I decided to get involved with fan fiction, I didn't much write fiction at all. Most of everything else I've ever written over the past many years that I've been a writer has been non-fiction, including news-related stories and features and politically related opinion pieces.

However, as a fan (and a somewhat obsessive fan at that) of Nickelodeon's The Penguins of Madagascar cartoon, which officially premiered in late March of 2009, I thought that I might be able to develop some fan fiction stories related to its characters. I figured that my skills as a non-fiction writer would allow me to incorporate some real situation and/or dramatic elements in my writing about the show's characters. I wrote my first fan fiction story, I Can't Step Foot in Denmark, mainly during four different sessions from July 9–11, 2009, publishing it here on the last of those dates (though with time zone differences, it shows here as being published on July 10).

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THE LATEST ON MY FANFIC WORK

CURRENT WRITING AND PUBLISHING STATUS (1/16/12): Now that Beyond DNA is officially complete, my full attention will soon turn toward completing another story that I have been working on. This upcoming multi-chapter fanfic will feature a unique first chapter—at least unique in my 2.5-year fan fiction career—though I won't say why quite yet. At this time, I don't want to begin to speculate on a publication date, so please stay tuned for further information. Thank you for your interest and your readership.

Calling all artists: If any of my readers would be interested in drawing artwork based on any of my fanfics, please read my journal at deviantART (account: SJF-Penguin) or ask me for details about a special commission offer.

My most recent story: Beyond DNA, published January 1–15, 2012, follows Skipper on his "most important mission ever": raising his young chick in the year 2022. But it's not your average "penguin parents" story.

My second most recent story: Paths Unknown, an account of the events of 9/11 told from the penguins' perspective, was published on the 10th anniversary of the attacks, September 11, 2011. The story is intended to be a historical account conveying a message of remembrance.

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Universal Disclaimer: Due to this website being exclusively composed of fan fiction writings, I feel that it is unnecessary to post a disclaimer atop all of my fanfics because I believe that the nature of this website implies such writings are nothing but works of fan fiction. However, I hereby state the following to serve as a universal disclaimer for all of my writings here related to The Penguins of Madagascar TV show: I, the FanFiction.net user GrandOldPenguin, do not own the television show The Penguins of Madagascar or any of the characters thereof; all rights to said show's characters are held by its creators. While the plotlines of my fanfic stories are of my own invention, the characters involved within them, unless otherwise specified or reasonably implied, I do not own.