Author has written 13 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Doctor Who, Lord of the Rings, Hetalia - Axis Powers, Silmarillion, and Harry Potter.
Name: I sometimes go by Erai
Appearance: Brown hair and blue eyes
Likes: Books, reading, writing, mythology, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Tolkien, Sherlock, Renaissance fairs, swimming, rock climbing, archery, fencing, and Irish dance
Dislikes: Fashion, makeup, dating, idiots and other annoying people
Description: I am the weird girl who you never really knew. That smart girl who actually liked school. The one who would dance in the rain, spin in circles randomly and laugh for no reason at all. The person who was never quite understood. I'm the person you stared at blankly as they spoke so fast your head spun, as they spoke about things you had never even heard of. I am the one who had the intelligence of someone older, but acted like a hyped up seven year old. The one who would run around all day and then sit for hours in quiet contemplation. The insomniac who never seemed tired, the insane person who embraced her insanity and the weird kid who never cared what anyone else thought anyways.
Funny Quotes And Random Things:
Way to Annoy the Heck Outta Folks At the Movie Theater...
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by them self.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"
Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.
15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!!"
Proof of human stupidity
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' .
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
11.Only in America...Will you go to a restaurant at SeaWorld and ask for band aids and get mayonnaise
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Some people are like slinkies, good for nothing, but they make you smile when you push them down a flight of stairs.
I did not hit you, I just high-fived your face.
Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
A good or best friend!
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb butt?"
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
Things To Do
1.Do not introduce self as role-playing character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.
22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24.Always remember, um... um... crap.
25.Train army of flying monkeys.
26.Goldfish don't like milk.
27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28.Find out who invented the word "pianist".
29.People are staring at you.
30.So act insane.
31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.
32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.
33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible.
35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36.Never pet a burning dog.
37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38.Naked men dig parkas.
39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40.You know what would look good on you?
42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43.The size of Danny DeVito.
44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.
47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"
48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49.That way is candy.
50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.
52.You cannot kill the snow.
53.The snow can kill you.
54.Grass can also kill you.
55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...
56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.
62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65.Remember to kill HIM...
66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions.
71.Eat the evidence.
72.But not if it's broken glass.
73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.
74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.
75.Disregard last note.
77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78.Stock up on ball point pens.
79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81.Do not stick fingers into blender.
82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83.Blood loss is bad.
84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.
85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86.Answer every question with a question.
87.Ask people what gender they are.
89.Refer to people as "mortal".
90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.
96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97.Dunk head in boiling water.
98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
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