Poll: What power should Bella have in 'The Nomad? Vote Now!
Author has written 6 stories for Twilight, Misc. Books, and Sweeney Todd.
Hey fellow people! I'm Kristina, and I don't usually care for what people say. So if you have a problem with me or my friends and family, you can just shove it. I'm bi, between the ages of 10 and 80, brown hair, brown eyes, and a love for almost anything. That means reading, writing, tv, music, and art. I don't have a problem with blood, gore, violence, cursing, or sex. I'm a shoulder to cry on, I'm the bitch who doesn't take anyone's crap. I have my own opinion, and I will respect yours if you respect mine.
If you hate awesome musicals with sadistic barbers and ladies who bake people into pies, There is something seriously wrong with you. Kay?
30 Good Reasons why GIRLS are always the BEST
1. We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. Its possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We have ways of getting what we want easily.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. If we act like a guy, we're called tough. But if a guy acts like a girl... well... who's the weakling now?
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We have style.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. There's the saying "Ladies first."
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
Interesting and insane laws:
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine. (Hmm... I'm not that sure all of the suicide terrorists will be scared off by that.)
It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants. (What... the...)
It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash. (Whoever passed this law was obviously half-asleep.)
It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight. (Lol...)
It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. (Oh great. Looks like we'll have to wait an extra hour to have lunch then.)
It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it. (In that case most of the world should be locked up in prison.)
It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire. (I'm sure we'll all be thinking of our stomachs when the building's on fire.)
It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday. (Makes sense if you think about it, but on first impression...)
It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns. (This might be better off in the "Only in America" section.)
It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (A pity. That's a novelty I'd pay money to see.)
It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (Strange, but not illogical until you take into account that there is no coastline at all in the state in which this is a law...)
It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. (AHH! HELP! FIRE!)
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Whoever came up with this? We should give him a Nobel Prize for such a masterful logical conclusion.)
pick up line comebacks, add to it
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Man: Can I have your name?
Man: want to see a movie?
Man: I'm God's gift to women
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,
Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,
Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,
Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,
Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,
Calling me FAT wont make you SKINNY,
Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,
So why bother?
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
16 things to do in Walmart.
1.Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
42 Things to do in an Elevator
1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
A wise man once said, “I don't know, go ask the women!" (Yes, you have to admit women are better. Very smart of him. I’ll go give him a cookie.)
When I hear somebody say "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" (Death?)
'Our lives are filled with Good and Bad. The way to get through them is to just Breathe'. -me
'And most importantly, they showed us that no matter whom we choose to love, be they heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, trisexual, quadrisexual, pansexual, transexual, omnisexual, or that thing where the chick ties the belt around your neck and tickles on a balloon, it has absolutely nothing to do with who we are as people.' -I Now Pronouce You Chuck & Larry
'A rule to live by: I won't say anything I can't explain in five minutes.' - Philip Crosby
'Do, or do not... There is no try' - Yoda
'I call it... the hot dog tree, beacuse... it's a hot dog tree.' -Pee Wee Herman
'Some of us think holding on makes us strong; But sometimes it is letting go.' -Herman Hesse
'Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!' -Caligula
'Let them eat cake.' -Marie-Antoinette
WildstarofLightclan is my real biogical sister,check her out!
The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000 word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.
Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.
Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.
It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.
If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.
While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.
For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.
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