kraken5
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since: 07-25-09, id: 2022504, Profile Updated: 08-08-12
country: USA
Author has written 4 stories for Sonic the Hedgehog, Johnny Bravo, and Lord of the Rings.

Good day and God bless to you all!

I plan to write about the following topics: Doctor Who, Sonic the Hedgehog, Animorphs, Transformers, Star Wars, Star Trek, Bionicle and other things.

It is possible I will not be able to do all these things, but I will do as much as I can.

A heads up I would like to make is that most (if not all) stories will contain my own character, Ryan Dartimis.

For those of you who want to know, Ryan is half-alien. His mother is a human woman named Aleena, and his father, Nicholas Dartimis, is an Energite; basically a creature made completely out of some type of power.

Ryan has multi-dimensional travel capabilities, which makes him ideal for use in different universes. He has been noted as saying that he has enough power stored inside him to make our sun seem like a flashlight battery. One of his tricks is the ability the shape the raw power he carries into replicas of other's powers. He ages slowly, so even though he looks 19 he's really 57 years old.

I will do my best to keep all stories highly extreme!

If anyone wants to know anything about me, I like reading, watching TV, playing games, listening to music (TobyMac rules!), collecting Bionicles (been buying them since they first came out!), writing fanfiction (otherwise I wouldn't be here;), and trying to be a Christian (not easy but worth it in the end!:)


A lot of people consider Christians to be a bunch of hypocrites, sometimes I have no option but to agree. The thing is, we (meaning Christians) are suppose to be representing God in the ways we live and act. There are a bunch of people out there that call themselves Christians and give God a bad name because of it. I'm not saying we should go out and punish hypocrites, repeat NOT; nobody's perfect (I KNOW I'm not perfect), 1st John 1:5 says that "if we walk in darkness but say we have fellowship with God, then we're lying." (note that this is not an exact copy of the verse) What we need to do is what God wants us to do. He has a plan for each and every one off us. Not all of us are called to do great things, but that doesn't mean he hasn't planed anything for us. The thing we need to remember is that just because we're Christians doesn't mean we're perfect, just saved by grace.

If you think that people need to trust God more, copy and post this.

If you think we need to not be ashamed of God, copy and post this.

If you think the education system is shutting out christians, copy and post this.

If you think this country needs God's intervention, copy and post this.

If you think that being a Jesus freak is a good thing, copy and post this.

If you think we need to treat others the way we want to be treated (hard as it is), copy and post this.


40 Things To Do In An Elevator-

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in one corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open by themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them all to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at every floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises whenever someone else presses a button.

10. Stare, grinning, at another person for a while, then say, "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square with chalk on the floor then say to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug with the other passengers. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi, Greg. How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone bends to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend that you're a flight attendant, and review emergency exits with the other passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it.

23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift as you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring--don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take your shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?"

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask people what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell different people that you can see their aura.

35. When the door closes, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Start breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air.

38. If you are the only one in the lift, press all the buttons then stand and stare at the door, waiting for someone to come in.

39. If someone looks at you, laugh maniacally and tell them that you're there for the mental health convention.

40. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."


If you are wondering why I'm not updating that much, it's hard to explain, (writers block mostly) but even though I may not update on a regular basis I will do my best to still carry on with my stories.

Sneak Peeks: Stories I hope to write in the future

Weapon X and The Ultimate Life Form. Shadow meets Wolverine. After comparing stories, they realize that they have to work together and uncover their pasts, which are strangely linked. (GUARANTIED)

Witch Mountain 2. The kids are back! But why are they and Jack being hunted by strange cars? And who is this stranger who claims to be a friend? WARNING! You will never trust your car again.

Last of their Kinds. The Doctor meets another survivor of the Time War. But he's not a Dalek or a Time Lord. Who is he?

Ultimate Chaos. Sonic finds out the true nature and origin of the Chaos Emeralds

Black Ben 10. Ben unlocks a new alien in the Omnitrix, and it's really venomous.

Sonic in Extreme Days. The Blue Blur has his final showdown between all his rivals

Problem Patient. The Enterprise picks up an escape pod carrying a teenage boy, whose presence seems to be causing trouble with the ship.

Stranger in Metropolis. Superman tries to stop the theft of a curious jewel from a top-secret laboratory and is beaten by a kid with unbelievable powers. Who is he? And what does he want with these stones called Chaos Emeralds. (not a crossover)

The Last Stand. Sonic, Shadow, Silver, and everyone else prepare for the final Chaos War.

Indiana Jones and the Tomb of Apocalypse. Indy is researching Egyptian myths and come across a strange legend of an ancient item that he must find before the Nazis do. (Features Logan/Wolverine)

Note: I may not be able to write all of these, (although I certainly will do my best) so don't get your hopes too high.


Hello, and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down, and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Quotes & Jokes.

My brother broke his arm in two places. If I were him, I'd stay out of those places.

What do you say when a motel is chasing you? INNCOMING!

"Is this going anywhere?" the Doctor

"Why is the rum always gone? Oh. That's why." Jack Sparrow

"I'd warn you that your face might freeze like that, but at this point, it would be an improvement." Gwen Tennyson

"Son, there's something I want you to know." "What Dad?" "In about three seconds, I'm going to scream like a little girl." Buck Cluck and Chicken Little.

"Marvin, any ideas?" "I have a million ideas. They all point to certain death." Arthur and Marvin.

"I'm goona' take you home and make wabbit stew!" "Hehehe. He don't know me very well, does he?" Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny.


CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars look both ways.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar then exploded. It wasn't designed to contain that much awesome.

When an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

America is not a democracy. It's a Chucktatorship.

People think that it was an asteroid that killed off the dinosaurs. Actually it was Chuck Norris using his cannonball dive.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players that Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are exactly three sides to the Force. The Light Side, the Dark Side, and the Chuck Norris Side.

The Great Wall of China was built to keep out Chuck Norris. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.


Quotes that I have no idea who said first:

NO TRESPASSING. INTRUDERS WILL BE SHOT. SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN

House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

A life? Cool! Where do I download one of those?

The truth is out there? Does anyone know the URL?

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

I couldn't fix your brakes so I made your horn louder.

Nothing says oops like a wall of flame.

Don't look for inspiration. Start working and inspiration will come to you.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

"Real artificial bacon bits" Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go out and buy myself some real-fake bacon bits. Not just fake-fake, real-fake

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look too good either.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.

We are the people our parents warned us about!

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.

It's good to die for your country, but it's really good when the other guys die for their country.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

A mighty oak is the result of a a nut who held its ground.

Despite the rising cost of living, it remains a popular activity.

It's you and me against the world. (puts on helmet) We attack at dawn.

Friends don't set friends on fire.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceed to tell you exactly why it isn't.

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

To be old and wise you must first have to be young and stupid.

Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise.

You are only limited by your own fears and inaction.

Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

I'm the author of my life, and unfortunately I'm writing in pen!

Move on. It's just a chapter in the past. But don't close the book. Just turn the page.

When you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine. Until the storm's over and you're the only survivor.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Many say I am just one to try. I say I am one less to quit.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kick boxing.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished.

We live in an age where the pizza delivery will reach your house before the police.

Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door...

He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Vegetarian: Native American word for 'lousy hunter'.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes!

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you
wouldn't have been notified.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better

Reality is for people who lack imagination.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia,
but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first
given opportunity (It's true I tell you!)

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.



1. Silver's adventures in Sonic X » reviews
What if Silver jumped in to help Sonic and the gang? Will continue as long as people like it. So please review.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,131 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 4-30-10 - Published: 11-7-09 - Silver
2. Johnny Bravo meets Chuck Norris reviews
Oneshot. Title says it all. Completely random. Meant to be funny, hope you like it.
Johnny Bravo - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 265 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-29-09 - Complete
3. Knight of the Ring » reviews
Sonic, Shadow, and Silver fall into Middle-Earth, Sonic finds the Ring of Sauron, everyone has their swords from Sonic and the Black Knight. All is guaranteed to be massively extreme!
Crossover - Sonic the Hedgehog & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,504 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 11-19-09 - Published: 8-4-09 - Sonic - Complete
4. The New Guy » reviews
Sonic meets a mysterious stranger who claims to be a friend but our heros discover that where he goes, danger follows.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,234 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 8-3-09 - Published: 7-27-09 - Sonic - Complete