HI:There was a bunch of useless stuff about me in this space, but I realized how useless it was. Yaaaaay cleaning. Long story short, my name is Hayley, and I'm here to write and read me some fanfiction! Below you'll find an update or two, and all the shit I do and don’t ship.

NEW UPDATE(8/19): I don’t even know what to say. So I’ve finally returned after a long break (mostly to fuel my fanfiction muses), but after resurging a strong love for some certain things and regaining the all-encompassing urge to write, I can say that I’m back to stay.

IF YOU’RE WONDERING ABOUT BIG DAMN ADVENTURE: I would be, too. My plan is to take it down and repost it once I have it completely finished. I know it’s kind of a dick move, but it’s all for the better in the end.

MY SHIPS!

THE X-FILES
Mulder/Scully
Mulder/Krycek
Krycek/Marita
Scully/Pendrall
Byers/Suzanne
Mulder/Reyes FRIENDSHIP
Pendrall/Lelya Harrison

PRIMEVAL
Connor/Abby
Lester/Cutter
Helen/Stephen
Lester/Leek (in a cracky sort of way)
Connor/Cutter
Helen/Cutter (pre-primeval)
Connor/Becker
Becker/Sarah
Philip/Lester
Becker/Matt
I don’t remember if I shipped Stephen/Cutter…

TORCHWOOD
Jack/Ianto
Jack/Jack
Owen/Katie
Gwen/Rhys
Ianto/Tosh
Jack/Tosh
Tosh/Tommy
Suzie/Jack
Suzie/Ianto
Tosh/Mary (sometimes)
Jack/Tosh/Ianto
Ianto/Lisa (pre-Torchwood. And I guess Doctor Who-'Ghosts of India/Doomsday', because they were techincally in it!)
Ianto/Idris FRIENDSHIP
Esther/Jack FRIENDSHIP
Vera/No one cause she doesn't need anyone so fuck off Rex
To a certain degree, I sorta like Jack/Idris, just because Jack thinks he's hot, and Idris is just like 'ohmygod leave me the hell alone’. Also, Idris Hopper was originally supposed to be Ianto's name, so, techincal Janto? Hmm...

DOCTOR WHO (I when i say Doctor/whoever, it means I like them with different versions of the Doctor.)
Doctor/Rose (because he's the Doctor and she's Rose, that's just how it is. I'm not a huge Doctor/Rose shipper, but it's just there and it will always be THERE.)
10/Simm!Master
Doctor/Sarah Jane
Jack/Rose
Donna/Jack (it's awesome)
Donna/10 (they had a lot of chemistry, but the whole mind-wiping thing just really gets to me, this pairing is meh for me)
Mickey/Martha
Jack/Alonso
11/River (even if they done them wrong…)
Rory/11
Rory/Amy (even if they done them wrong…)
Amy/Vincent
11/Rory/Amy
9/Rose/Jack
Craig/Sophie
Sally/Larry
Sally/Her friend oh shit I forgot her name dammit someone help me out here
11/Craig
Tom/Martha
Donna/Lee
Main Doctor ships: 9/Jack, 10/Donna, 10.5/Rose, 11/River, and 11/Rory

MOONLIGHT
Josh/Beth
Mick/Beth
Josef/Sarah
Mick/Josef
Mick/Coraline
Sam/Logan (Sam and Logan remind me so much of April and Andy from Parks&Rec, and they never even met.)
Lance/Josef

HARRY POTTER
Cedric/Harry
Harry/Ginny
Harry/Hermione
Hermione/Krum
Ron/Hermione
Cedric/Oliver
Sirius/Remus
Neville/Luna
Remus/Tonks
Luna/Hermione
JFF/Zacharias
James/Lily (kind of essential to the whole series)
Gellert/Dumbledore
Draco/Pansy (It‘s more of an inside joke, but still)
Percy/Oliver
Percy/Audrey
George/Angelina
Neville/Percy

THE MATRIX
Neo/Mouse
Mouse/Switch

NCIS
DiNozzo/McGee
DiNozzo/Gibbs
Abby/Palmer
Gibbs/Jenny
Abby/McGee
Tony/Kate
McGee/Palmer
Ziva/Ducky FRIENDSHIP

THE OFFICE US (They ruined just about every pairing listed, but I’m lost in wishful thinking)
Pam/Jim
Jim/Karen
Jim/Ryan
Ryan/Michael (Actually canon.)
Dwight/Angela
Dwight/Isabella
Pam/Angela
Andy/Erin
Pam/Karen
Michael/Holly
Kelley/Darryl
Oscar/Andy
Ryan/Kelley, sometimes

STAR TREK(the series and the new movie)
Chekov/Sulu
Uhura/McCoy FRIENDSHIP (09)
Kirk/McCoy (09)
Data/Yasha
Dr. Crusher/Picard
Dr. Crusher/Riker

HOUSE, MD
House/Wilson
House/Wilson/Cuddy
Chase/13
Kunter/Taub
House/Amber (I only like dead, ‘I'm-going-to-taunt-and-make-you-guilty-Amber. I say that with all the love in the world.)

GLEE
Kurt/Blaine
Kurt/ Mercedes
Mike/Tina
Quinn/Rachel
Rachel/ Jesse
Burt/Carole
Carl/Emma
Will/Bryan
Bryan/Brenda (It could be really funny and fucked up)
Beiste/Cooter OH WAIT NO UNECCESARY ABUSE STORYLINE :/
Brittany/Santana
Puck/Rachel (sometimes)
Sam/Karofsky
Burt/Blaine (Father/Son)
Kurt/Karofsky
Blaine/Jesse
Wes/David
Wes/Gavel
Thad/Flint
Nick/Jeff (Sometimes Nick loves Jeff first. Just fyi.)
One-sided Blaine/Trent
Sebastian/Logan
DALTON
Kurt/Blaine
Reed/Kurt FRIENDSHIP
Logan/Julian, and I'm not even that far yet
Wes/David
Greg/Sylvia
Tweedles/Tina

HIMYM
Ted/Mother
Lily/Marshall
Ted/Barney
Barney/Lily, FRIENDSHIP and not
Ted/Maurissa
Don/Robin
Ted/Victoria
Barney/Quinn

MUSICALS
Rod/Nicky
Brian/Christmas Eve
Kate Monster/Princeton
Elle/Emmett
Micos/Carlos
Paulette/Kyle
Elle/Veronica FRIENDSHIP
Paulette/Elle FRIENDSHIP
Jack/David
And although I have yet to see the stage version, I kinda ship Jack/Katherine already
Velma/Roxie
Penny/Billy
Troy/Gabriella
Ryan/Troy
Gabriella/ Monique
Chad/Ryan
Chad/Monique
Ryan/Kelsey
Seymour/Audrey
Satine/Christian
Ulla/Leo
Jimmy/Mary
Harry/Ron
Harry/Ginny
Quirrell/Voldemort
Cho/Cedric
Draco/Hermione
Dumbledore/Zefron (but we all know that Harry is Zefron's biggest fan)
Mark/Roger
Maureen/Joanne
Angel/Collins
Mark/Joanne
Brad/Janet
Brad/Frank
Frank/Rocky
Columbia/Eddie
Riff Raff/Magenta
Jude/Lucy
Prudence/Rita
Prudence/Sadie
Sadie/her boyfriend fuck I forgot his name
Jude/Max
Anthony/Johanna
Sweeney/Mrs Lovett
Benjamin/Lucy
Czolgosz/Zangrara
Fromme/Moore (damn you sarah)
Czolgosz/Booth
Booth/Zangara
Guiteau/Byck
Czolgosz/Guiteau
Emma/Czolgosz
Oswald/Booth (damn you again sarah)

SCOOBY DOO: MYSTERY INC.
Freddie/Daphne
Shaggy/Velma
Velma/Marcy

DISNEY
Esmeralda/Phoebus
Eric/Ariel
Belle/Beast
Mulan/Shang
Collette/Linguini
Ada/Flik
Tiana/Naveen

CIRQUE DU FREAK
Darren/Debbie
Kurda/Arra (I find the thought that Kurda loves Arra amusing...I also find it amusing that Arra would totally whoop his ass)
Kurda/Darren FRIENDSHIP

SYFY ALICE
Hatter/Alice

BBC ROBIN HOOD
Much/Robin
Robin/Marion
Kate/Isabella

BCC MERLIN
Arthur/Merlin
Gwen/Arthur
Lancelot/Morgana
Arthur/Morgana

TWIN PEAKS
Cooper/Truman
Shelly/Gordon
Shelly/Bobby
Norma/Ed
Andy/Lucy
Cooper/Albert
Mike/Nadine (I'm going to hell for this)
Cooper/Audrey (2nd season mostly. I don't mind it, but it’s not exactly on my otp board)
Dale/Annie
Dale/Diane
Jack/Audrey
Donna/Harold (sometimes)
Ben/Catherine
Will/Eileen

FIREFLY
Mal/Kaylee
Simon/Kaylee
Zoë/Wash
Mal/Simon
Kaylee/Inara
Jayne/Vera (He named the gun)
Wash/Kaylee
Mal/Kaylee/Simon
Mal/River, Finale and Movie-verse ONLY

CASTLE
Castle/ Beckett
Castle/Shaw
Espo/Ryan

SARAH JANE ADVENTURES
Sarah Jane/Alan
Luke/Maria (I really want Sarah Jane and Alan to get married, but then Luke and Maria can't date without it being almost incest)

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
Bree/Orson
Gaby/Carlos
Lynette/Tom
Susan/Mike
Adam/Sylvia
Bree/Katherine
Katherine/Robin
Angie/Nick
Katherine/Adam
Lee/Bob

COMMUNITY
Jeff/Annie
Troy/Abed
Helen/Chang

PARKS AND RECREATION
Andy/April
Ron/Leslie
Mark/Ann
Ben/Leslie
Ron/April FRIENDSHIP

LEVERAGE
Parker/Hardison
Nate/Sophie

HITCHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
Zaphod/ Trillian

BONES
Angela/Hodgins
Hodgins/Zach
Angela/Roxy
Sweets/Daisy
Sweets/Booth
Booth/Bones

HETALIA-AXIS POWERS
England/ America

UGLY BETTY
Justin/Austin
Betty/Daniel
Marc/Cliff
Amanda/Marc FRIENDSHIP
Marc/Wilhelmina FRIENDSHIP (or evilship. whatever it is they have there)

WILL&GRACE
Will/Jack
Grace/Leo
Karen/Jack FRIENDSHIP
Jack/Stuart

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER
Sam/Charlie
Charlie/Patrick (kinda. The kissing was inevitable.)
Patrick/Brad (but, like, when brad WASN'T being a total asswad)
Mary Elizabeth/Peter

WAREHOUSE 13
Loretta/Sheldon
Claudia/Pete
Artie/Ms. Fredric
Claudia/Artie FRIENDSHIP
Myka/Artie (Father/Daughter)
Artie/MacPherson
HG Wells/MacPherson (a little bit)
Claudia/Fargo
Claudia/Todd
Artie/Victoria
Helena/Myka
Jinks/Myka
Pete/Myka brother/sister
Claudia/Jinks FRIENDSHIP

HAVEN
Audrey/Nathan
Nathan/Duke
Lily/Ray
Bill/Meg
Audrey/Duke FRIENDSHIP
Audrey/Jess/Nathan FRIENDSHIP
Audrey/Duke/Nathan
Duke/Faudrey/Audrey2/whatever we are calling her

PSYCH
Shawn/Lassie
Shawn/Jules
Gus/Shawn (mostly friendship, but more than one episode has made me think ‘yes’)
Shawn/Despereaux
Lassie/Marlowe
Gus/Lassie
Shawn/Abigail was cute
Lassie/Jules FRIENDSHIP

WHITE COLLAR
Neal/Peter
Peter/Elizabeth
Neal/That fancy rich lady who is in the latest ep god what was HER NAME how did I forget so soon

BOSTON LEGAL
Alan/Denny

HOW THEY MET and other stories
Gabriel/Justin
Lucy/Heron
Damon/Chad
Damon/Teresa FRIENDSHIP
Thom/Ian
Rory/Roger
Mandy/Danny
Seth/Rebecca FRIENDSHIP

EVERWOOD
Hannah/Bright
Bright/Ada (...it works...)
Bright/Colin (pre-Everwood)
Ephram/Bright
Ephram/Wendell
Ephram/Colin
Harold/Andy
Andy/Nina (I think they both suck, so they really deserve each other)
Andy/Julia
Carl/Harold ('He's like Everwood's version of Tom Cruise. Young, athletic,-' 'Why don't you just ask him out, Harold?')
Irv/Edna
Amy/Tommy (fuck you, it's great)
Harold/Rose (but now I can’t enjoy cheesecake…)
Harold/Louise
Ephram/Hannah
Harold/Nina FRIENDSHIP
Ephram/Amy FRIENDSHIP

LIFE ON MARS UK
Sam/Annie
Sam/Chris
Ray/Chris
Gene/Phyllis-just because they would be funny
Gene/Sam ONLY if it's written well, which they usually are
Chris/Annie FRIENDSHIP, but I will go for romance if it's done right.

CHARMED
Piper/Leo
Piper!Leo/Leo!Piper (Piper was Leo and Leo was Piper-it was even better)

HANNA IS NOT A BOY'S NAME
Conrad/Doc Worth
Conrad/Toni (there really needs to be more of this)
Casimiro/Finas
Hanna/Zombie FRIENDSHIP

KYLE XY
Kyle/Amanda
Kyle/Declan FRIENDSHIP, but I could do slash in certain situations.
Declan/Lori (they confuse me so...but what the hell, right?)
Lori/Hilary (I will patiently await for the moment this transpires.)
Josh/Andy
Stephen/Nicole
Kyle/Tom (I don't know why, though)

NOISES OFF!
Dotty/Garry
Belinda/Freddy SOMETIMES
Poppy/Tom
Freddy/Garry

SCOTT PILGRIM SERIES
Scott/Ramona (kinda the whole point of the whole series!)
Scott/Kim
Ramona/Kim
Knives/Neil
Stephen/Joseph
Wallace/Mobile
Wallace/Jimmy
Stacy/Jimmy
Julie/Gideon probably could've worked
Envy/Todd
Julie/Stephen

THE BROTHERS BLOOM
Penelope/Bloom
Bloom/Stephen
Penelope/Bang Bang

24
Tony/Michelle (They are my het!OTP)
Jack/Tony
Michelle/Paula
Michelle/Chloe very slightly
Chloe/Jack
Chloe/Morris
Bill/Karen
Nina/Tony pre-S1E23
Sherry/People showing her respect
Jack/Terri
Kim/Miguel
Chloe/Bill FRIENDSHIP
David/Anne
Martha/Aaron
Jack/Audrey
Ryan/Chloroform/Tony and Michelle/Holding Room A
Kim/Chase
Sherry/Wayne S2
Lynn/Bill
Mandy/Nina mother/daughter...what? I like to think of Mandy as Nina Myers Jr.
Bill/Purple ties (it's a long story)
Day 6/Purple ties (an even longer story)
24/Purple ties (the longest story in existence)
Chloe/Janis
Larry/Renee
Mandy/Bridgett
Allison/Henry pre-S7E24

BOMB GIRLS
Betty/Kate (girlgay!OTP)
Gladys/Louis
Vera/Edith
Gladys/James
Gladys/Kate
Lorna/Marco
Vera/Archie was cool for that one episode and only that one episode
Gladys/Carol, but I don’t know if I want bffs or lesbians or both. Probably both.

If it’s not up there, then I don’t ship it.

This is pretty fun, just slightly re-format for any show
Randomly list twelve of your favorite Psych characters:

1. Shawn Spencer

2. Burton Guster

3. Carlton Lassiter

4. Juliet O’Hara

5. Abigail Lytar

6. Pierre Despereaux

7. Mary Lightly

8. Karen Vick

9. Buzz McNab

10. Madeline Spencer

11. Mr. Yang

12. Marlowe Viccellio

01.)Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
No, and I don’t quite think it exists anywhere…

02.)Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Jules is pretty good looking…9.8/10

03.)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
I think Lassie would like some explaining to be done.

04.)Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?
I read one, where Buzz goes out to get Lassie his coffee but then it turns into a hostage situation and there’s some Buzz/Lassie bonding and it was cute I liked it.

05.)Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Pierre and Gus…I’m gonna have to say no, given that Gus is very wary of Pierre and Shawn would get uber jealous.

06.)Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
If I HAD to choose? Abigail/Buzz.

07.)What would happen if Seven walked in on Twelve and Two having sex?
If Mary walked in on Marlowe and Gus…damn this shit is fun…well I don’t know.

08.)Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic?
Lassiter and Madeline…I hope you mean non romantically, because the only thing I could think of is them having a Clint Eastwood film fest.

09.)Is there such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?
Shawn/Karen? I don’t doubt its existence, if that’s what you’re asking me.

10.)Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic:
Mary/Marlowe…huh…I’ll have to get back to you on that.

11.)What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?
She would get him to spend four consecutive days at her house and it’s gonna be awesome I NEED SEASON 7 NOW.

12.)Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
Probably.

13.)Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
I'd imagine so.

14.)Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
No.

15.)Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?
Gus/Jules/Abigail…no one I know, maybe.

16.)What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
You’re asking the wrong person.

17.)If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Song-fic for Karen…I'll get back to you on that

18.)If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Shawn/Pierre/Marlowe. Warning: Interrupting!Lassiter because you damn well know he would be breaking that shit up in a heartbeat.
You know, wait, I could make that pairing work out…
WAIT THIS COULD WORK OUT…

19.)What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
No.

20.)When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
…never…

21.)What is Six's super-secret kink?
Well it depends who you ask, because really, all the Shespereaux I could find is smut fic, so that’s…that’s subjective.

22.)Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or Sober?
No.

23.)If Three and Seven got together, who would top?
Lassiter and Mary…I don’t really want to think about that right now but Lassiter.

24.)"One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, heartbroken, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three."
Shawn and Buzz are in a happy relationship until Buzz suddenly runs off with Jules. Shawn, heartbroken, has a hot one-night stand with Mr. Yang and a brief unhappy affair with Marlowe, then follows the wise advice of Abigail and finds true love with Lassiter.
I’m sure that’s a real fanfic somewhere; Shassie’s always long and angsty. Unless it’s cute and fluffy. There is no inbetween.

25.)How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
I would feel uncomfortable if Karen/Mary was canon.