Name: Tenraku.

Sex: Guess; there's a fifty percent chance you're right.

Age: Old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

About me: Sarcastic. Witty. Jaded.

The Idiot's Guide to Flaming - Originally by Dagget.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to personally hand out some tips on how to properly flame.

Now I will admit that I've only ever been flamed once, but let me tell you that it was a sore disappointment. I was waiting for my first flame and then when it came, it was a complete flop. I've seen an awful lot of poorly executed flames here and there and I think it's about time that people start spreading the word on proper flaming before one of these idiots hurts themselves. So here are the basic rules:

1) Please have a point. I can't stress this enough people. If you think something sucks, there has to be a reason. If you have no point then there's no point in reading your review.

2) Post some literary venture of your own before you attempt a flame. Think of it as your resume. We need to see some credentials damn it! You can't just walk in off the street! How do we know if you're qualified to be making this judgment? We can't let people go around writing these things all willy-nilly. (If nothing else, it's bad form not give us something we can flame you back for.)

3) Check your spelling and grammar. There's nothing worse then making a bunch of grammatical errors right in the middle of telling someone else what's wrong with their writing. You lose all credibility. Yeah... You hear that?... They're laughing at you!

4) Do it with style. You've heard the saying, I'm sure. 'If a thing is worth doing it's worth doing well.' If you're actually going to take the time to cut someone down, the least you could do is get their attention. A simple 'duh... it sucks George' is not gonna cut it. Seriously. If you intend to be mean, then at least try to come off like the villain, and not like one of his nameless henchmen. (think scathing)

5) Read summary warnings. Trust me. You don't want to go ripping on people for content that you were clearly warned about. That honestly only makes you look like an idiot. Wait, what's that?... Oh, they're laughing at you again!

6) Throw in some amusing word play. When you step into the arena baby, you want to show off you're skills. A truly good flame entertains the crowd. That way people don't just plain hate you outright. You want them to almost look forward to more of your acerbic wit.

There they are. Please feel free to rip them off and post them where ever the hell you like. Don't hesitate to let me know if there's anything that you think should be added to the list as well. I may think of some more later myself. Invariably you think of more of them when you happen to see a poorly executed flame. It's a real problem and we need to get people educated on the issue.

Thank you for taking the time to review the facts.

I'd like to finish with a moment of silence for all the poor, lame little flames out there who never really had a chance...

Fucked up

Insecure

Neurotic

Emotional

Honestly, I'm Fine!

Thoughts on Gay Marriage!

1) Gay marriage is not natural, and, as Americans, we reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and liposuction.

2) Gay marriage will encourage straight people to be gay in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because dogs have legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all. Women are still property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriages would be less meaningful if gay marriage was allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spear's 55 hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed upon an entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and female figure in a home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage would change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

I’m sarcastic, I’m cynical, I’m pessimistic, I'm cruel, I'm jaded, I would rather watch a person be run over by a bulldozer than watch one bulldoze a tree, I despise the mass of the human race, My singing sounds like a dying rabbit yet I still vocalize in musical form, and I support ones right to be gay if they choose to be. Strange that of these vocally expressed traits, people only bitch about the last one.

Percussive Reset: (i) hitting a machine until it starts working again. (ii) hitting a person upside the head with a blunt object until they start making sense/stop their hysterics/stop stuttering/are unconscious.

Let's face the facts: you have an STD. EVERYONE has an STD. The mortality rate is 100 percent; you will die of your STD. My condolences, but on the bright side, I'll die of it too. The name? Life.

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