FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| slytherinslut13 |
Author has written 6 stories for Marching Band, Harry Potter, and Beka Cooper series. Hey! I'm a VERY new writer now, but I really hope to continue. Yes, my name is actually Rose Swanson, for all of you who read My Story. My favorite authors are J.K. Rowling and Tamora Pierce. I'm a 9th grade student in America, and I'm a band geek, and proud of it! I have a boyfriend, and I'm also J.K. Rowling. I don't have a boyfriend Sigh, don't we wish. :) I got on Fan Fiction by my extremely perverted friend, who also volunteered to be my beta. THANK YOU! I loathe writing and my English Teacher with a passion (ironic, huh?), and I'm hope to be a history teacher when I grow up. I firmly believe that people should get in touch with their inner child. And, above all, I'm only a mind slut. Now, I'm not preaching complete abstinence until marriage here, cuz that's highly unlikely, but at least be with the person you love. I say this because I personaly know a 17-year old with a 6(ish) month old and a college student who's 7(ish) months along. My school had a Harry Potter day, where everyone was supposed to dress up as a HP character, and I went as my OC/me from "My Story"! And it was bloody AWESOME! Also, I am really happy that you have read/ are going to read my story. i can't tell you how thrilled I am. QUOTES AND OTHER SWEET STUFF: "And now Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure." Albus Dumbledore “Everything’s going to change now, isn’t it?”- Hermione Granger "Ah, music... A magic far beyond all we do here!” Albus Dumbledore "Books! And cleverness! There are more important things--friendship and bravery and--oh Harry--be careful!" Hermione Granger “Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” - Albus Dumbledore “Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.” Albus Dumbledore "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" Albus Dumbledore Death cannot stop true love; it can only delay it awhile. “You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." Albus Dumbledore "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world." M. McGonagall "There's no need to call me sir Professor." Harry Potter "Accio Brain!" Ron Weasley "Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy." Ron Weasley "Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts." Ron Weasley “For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do.” Fred Weasley "I doubt it will make much of a difference...unless a mad axe-man is waiting outside the doors to slaughter the first into the entrance hall." M. McGonagall “We teachers are rather good at magic, you know.” M. McGonagall "Ah, of course. There is no need to tell me any more, Ms. Granger. Which one of you will be dying this year?" M. McGonagall "Never stick your wand in your back pocket!" me to friend Private Messages (PMs) - FanFiction.net It should be like your skirt- short enough to keep it interesting, but long enough to cover all the important parts. – Mrs. Rosa What if... What if you replaced a hip with a bomb? –Stephan H. “J'adore le loup-garou et le chien! Ils sont très beau et les heirs soirs ètè très bien!”- me in Fench class, really loud. It means "I love the werewolf and the dog! They are very handsome and the last nights were amazing!" My teacher put me in counseling for that after blushing. Ahh, the sweet innocence of virgins! (jk, she just stared at me for a long time then pretended that it didn't happen. heehee) "OK, I'm going to take this glass rod and rub it with this fur scrap (rubs rod in extremely suggestive way).5 min laterThis rod is all excited, as I like to call it, and is positively charged. I'm going to touch it to these balls (aluminum wrapped ping pong balls) and look! They don't like each other. Now I'm going to take this negatively charged rod, and touch it to these other balls. Now one set of balls is , and the other is -. When I put the balls together... Look, they're happy to see each other!" Atom video in Chem. Being the mature 9th graders (and teacher) we are, we start laughing. "Wait.. you've had sex? Oh my god, that's SO weird! Are you married?" Stephan to our pregnant teacher, (8th grade) who decides not to answer and continue with the class. "Are you planning on having kids?" Stephan to same teacher (7th grade) Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? V for Vendetta- Remember, Remember, the 5th of November, the gunpowder treason and plot. i know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot. For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. If you have a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character copy and post this into your profile If you have ever accidentally swore or explained a sex concept to one of your friends in front of a teacher, C+P this to your profile If you ever heard distant voices in your head C+P this in you Bio If you ever talk to yourself or talk to someone who says "Are you talking to me?" or "Who are you talking to?" in any language C+P this in your Bio If you ever feel weird and alone in the world C+P this in your Bio If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you ever freaked people at your school and still do, copy this on to your profile. If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two mooses meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes CRAPPY. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile. If you ever wondered who the HELL came up with the idea of bending in front of a cow and squeezing the flappy pink things under it to see if something comes out and DRINKING whatever crap comes out, copy and paste this to your profile! If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile. If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile! If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever just wanted to (Bitch) SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO If you think the people who don't do copy/pastes are just too damn lazy, copy and paste this to your profile! If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile. Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your bio. If sometimes, when you are hanging out with friends, you aren't sure if you're high or not, C+P this to your profile If you like to read people's profiles when you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile. If you sigh at the fact that because your profile is so long there is little chance someone would actually take the time and read it, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever laughed during something sad and depressing and ruined a moment, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever started cryig for no reason at all, especially in a class, C+P this to your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever imagined what it would've been like if you got a letter to Hogwarts, C+P this to your profile. If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile. If nobody knows the real you, copy & paste this on your profile. If you've ever randomly quoted Monty Python, C+P this to your profile. If you've been the only one to get an innuendo and then almost died laughing while everyone looked at you, C+P this to your profile. If you've ever realized, during the middle of their class, that your teacher has had sex, and then got such bad mental images that you couldn't look at them for the next week, C+P this onto your profile. If you've ever been a bitch to someone just cuz, C+P this to your profile. If you've ever been girl- talking with one of your boy friends, then realized they have no clue what you were talking about and the girl who you've talked to twice understood perfectly, C+P this to your profile. If you've ever face-palmed or face-desked because one of your teachers obliviousness to their innuendos, C+P this to your profile. If you've ever been tempted to swear at a teacher because they are just that bad of a teacher, C+P this to your profile. If you've ever been caught in a compromising situation, C+P this to your profile. If you've ever walked in/ been walked on by a guy friend while one of you s changing, C+P this to your profile. If you're band teacher has ever walked in on you while you were changing for band/ winterguard, C+P this to your profile. If you're wondering why you're still reading my profile, C+P this to your profile. If you just C+P each of these individually, took an hour doing it, then realized that you could've taken the whole damn thing at once and deleted the ones that didn't apply to you, C+P this to your profile. ;) Pessimism is good. If you are always pessimistic, you will never be disappointed, due to the fact you are always be thinking of worst case scenario. If you agree, copy & paste this on your profile. If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile. This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on. God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft. MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men! I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster. To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding... Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head. ONLY IN AMERICA... ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. ...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks. ...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front. ...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8. ...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter. ...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke. ...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages. ...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place ...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures. Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support? Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"? Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room? If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If con is the opposite of pro is Congress the opposite of progress? Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower? 10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL 10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks 9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies 8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly 7. Our magazines have horiscopes 6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around 5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm 4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month 3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have 2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket 1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?" "Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson "That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg "To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare "I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry "Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin "And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses "To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush "Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss "In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa "Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld "The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon "This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein "I missed one?" -Colonel Sanders If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you can read that please put it in your profile. Month One Month Two Month Three Month Four Month Five Month Six Month Seven Every Abortion Is Just: IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school Now you have two choices 1) repost and show you care 2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart (Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care) FRIENDS: Wonder about your romantic history. FRIENDS: Don't know your parents' first names. FRIENDS: When visiting, acts like a guest. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter Quick! write down 12 characters cast of Harry Potter! 1. Tonks 01.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? Remus/ Ginny.. never.. 02.)Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Hermione... yeah, i guess, I don't really notice her like that.. 03.)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Oh! Sirius and Snape. Umm.. Is that even possible? 04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any? Luna- No Nargles in this Mistletoe is a great story- Luna/ Rolf romance 05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple? NO! They're brother/ sister... and Harry was made for Ginny, like Bill was made for Fleur. 06.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Harry/ Luna or Harry/ Minerva... I'm gonna go with Harry/ Luna because she's about his age and not his teacher. 07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? Neville seeing Bill and Sirius... probably run and try to forget it ever happened. 08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic. Ron/ Minerva... umm... Ron decides to make his feelings for his teacher known during a late- night detention. Will she return them? 09.)Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic? Apparently. I'm very scared now. hides and tries to get images out of head 10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. Forgetting Sirius Affairs? I dunno, i'm crappy at stuff like that... 11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One? Hermione asks for a late night study session with Tonks to help her write a paper on Metamorphages. 12.) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash? No... is there any? 13.) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? No because it would be a Ron slash... 14.) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? Nope 15.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five? No... 16.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion? Probably 'Fuck' or something, I guess... I've never been intimate with her. 17.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? The Things You Said (Depeche Mode)- Lily/ Snape 18.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Tonks/ Ginny/ Sirius... Warning: Author Did this for dare, No, you're not high... just me. 19.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? Minerva on Bill... 20.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Today 21.) What is Six's super-secret kink? Umm... scars? 22.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober? Would Remus shag Luna.. no, they've never met... unless they were drunk 23.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top? Ron. 24.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it. "Tonks and Luna are in a happy relationship until Luna suddenly runs off with Hermione. Tonks, broken-hearted, has a hot one night stand with Remus and a breif, unhappy affair with Sirius, then follows the wise advice of Harry and finds true love with Ron." As the Clock Struck Midnight... This Author decided to write a crack- fic. No friend list to read it.. write it? Hearts.Are.For.Losers maybe (hint hint) 25.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon? Very very odd... but sicker stuff has been made, I suppose. | |||||
1. What The Diddley Is Crum Brul?The Weasley boys and are faced with a challenge beyond their wildest nightmares that they may not overcome. Slight Boy/ Girl kissing.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 834 - Published: 12-3-09 - Ron W. & Harry P. - Complete2. Your Homework is: Nevermind, Fuck This! reviewsMinerva wasn't always the prim woman you see. What happened from her 7th year to the end of Deathly Hallows.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,294 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-1-09 - Minerva M. & OC3. A Slut's Guide To Marching Band » reviewsA guide for all you newbies out there. If you aren't, please share with the newbies! Thanks! PS I don't think this will ever be complete, as new things happen in band every day.Marching Band - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 3 - Words: 976 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-26-09 - Published: 11-6-094. My Magical Journey » reviewsWhat would've happened if I, the author, got a letter to Hogwarts when I was 11. Rated T for later chapters. Might have to change to M later. My First fanfic. Sorry about the crappy title and summary. OC/AP, SM/RW.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,448 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 11-24-09 - Published: 11-6-09 - OC & Albus S. P.5. Not Sleeping reviewsA short one shot. Rosto and Beka realizing their feelings for each other.Beka Cooper series - Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-7-09 - Complete6. Harry Potter Fan Fiction GreatestA few excerpts from really good stories that I really liked and I hope you enjoy them as well.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,369 - Published: 11-6-09
