Author has written 49 stories for iCarly, Glee, Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Victorious, Hunger Games, Misc. Comics, Torchwood, Sherlock, and Supernatural.

Check this out. I found it on another author's page and thought that it was one of the most hilarious things I have ever read in my life.

HARRY POTTER FANS PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR EPICNESS.

--ooooooooooo--

101 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord VoldemortSure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again

by Amanda Lack (stars_planets_clocks)

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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there...

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.

36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!'

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.

52. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...

63. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause'

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'

80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'

100. Let him catch you trying on Death-Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If Twilight books weren’t
accepted to be published,
75% would hurt themselves,
20% would cry.
If you are one of the 5% that
would throw a party, post this
to your page.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
Harry Potter FANS: Believe the opposite of what Professor Trelawny says.
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
Harry Potter FANS: say Merlin’s Pants!
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I’ll tell on you!
Harry Potter FANS: say shut up or I’ll avada kedavra your butt/arse!
NORMAL PEOPLE: think witches are wicked, have green skin, wear all black and have warts.
Harry Potter FANS: Ask how Luna Lovegood could ever be considered wicked and say her fashion sense isn’t that bad.
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
Harry Potter FANS: Pick up a stick and attempt to fight back.
NORMAL PEOPLE: Think fairy tales are Cinderella and Snow White.
Harry Potter FANS: Know the best fairy tales are made by Beetle the Bard.
NORMAL PEOPLE: Don’t run into walls.
Harry Potter FANS: Platform 9 3/4, here we come!

100 Reasons why Harry Potter is better than Twilight:

1. There’s this thing, we call it a plot. Harry Potter has one, Twilight does not.
2. There are many twists and turns that capture your interest and keep you guessing. Twilight, on the other hand, is utterly boring and predictable.
3. The main characters actually have personalities.
4. Even though they’re wizards, the characters are easy to relate to. They have actual flaws and problems. It is really hard to relate to a character that is absolutely perfect aside from his one flaw of being a blood-thirsty, abusive, sparkling vampire.
5. J.K Rowling isn’t being sued for plagiarism.
6. It has depth and layers. In short, people don’t just read it for the hot guys.
7. Small details that don’t seem important at the beginning of the series become important at the end of the series.
8. Most of the plot holes (or the major ones any way) were tied up by the end of the seventh book.
9. J.K Rowling doesn’t contradict/break every rule she made.
10. The books were actually thought out from the very beginning, so everything tied together neatly.
11. Consistency is key in a series of books.
12. You can actually learn something worth-while from Harry Potter. I can’t say I really learned any important life lessons from Twilight. Not honestly, anyway.
13. Because books should allow you to use your imagination to fill in the blanks, rather than describe everything to you every five pages.
14. SMeyer thinks her readers are too dumb to understand what’s in the book and has to explain everything thoroughly, over and over again. J.K Rowling allows the readers to think for themselves so that they can actually learn.
15. Because when J.K Rowling uses big words, she uses them right, and in the proper context.
16. In order to write any fantasy stories, research is needed.
17. Because J.K Rowling created a whole new world for the readers to get lost in, rather than throwing magical creatures into the real world.
18. J.K Rowling included many magical creatures in her story that are far more realistic than a sparkling vampire.
19. Not all of the villains were defeated in seconds, like they are in Twilight.
20. Harry has actual problems. Tons of them. But does he spend 300 pages Stephenie Meyer and moaning about them? No! He actually does something to try and solve them.
21. Because when Harry and Ginny broke up, neither of them attempted suicide.
22. Because you can read the books over and over again, and pick up things you missed. I don’t need to read Twilight again, it was so repetitive, I doubt I missed anything.
23. Because I find a boy wizard with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead brandishing a stick to be much more believable than a vampire that sparkles in the sunlight.
24. When J.K Rowling adds a mythical creature into her books that are supposed to be scary, SHE ACTUALLY MAKES THEM SCARY. Stephenie Meyer makes vampires look like fluffy little bunny rabbits.
25. If J.K Rowling wrote that baboons were secretly wizards in hiding, I would believe it.
26. J.K Rowling can actually write a story that draws readers in, rather than put them to sleep.
27. Because J.K Rowling actually has an editor.
28. When J.K Rowling writes a character’s back story, it actually has some thought put into it and gives you a better understanding of the character. She will bring it up multiple times and add to it, rather than just mention it once and leave it. Example: MOST of HBP is dedicated to Voldemort’s back story.
29. J.K Rowling will not insult fantasy writers by completely twisting the myths. She will take what has been written previously, add to it, maybe twist it a little but keep the same general idea.
30. Because SMeyer brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “rules are meant to be broken”. And not in a good way.
31. Because, though the series started out as a kids book, J.K Rowling realised that her readers weren’t eight years old anymore, and she adapted the books so that they grew with the readers.
32. Because there is actually character development in the series. By the end of Breaking Dawn, the characters were still as annoying as they were at the beginning of Twilight.
33. J.K Rowling actually put thought into her characters names instead of choosing common names.
34. Renesmee Cullen? Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore laughs in his grave.
35. Harry is modest. When everyone is fawning over him because he’s famous, he wishes they would stop. He’s never looking for better friends than Ron and Hermione, he’s perfectly happy with them. Bella on the other hand is only happy if the Cullens will except her as a friend and will completely ignore anyone else.
36. Because when Harry broke up with Cho, we didn’t get six blank pages of nothing while he broods about it.
37. Because when Harry hates someone, he actually has a reason for it and therefore, we can’t help but hate them, too.
38. Because it doesn’t dwell on a persons looks.
39. Because even Dumbledore will admit that he’s not perfect.
40. Because the romance isn’t shoved in your face and obvious.
41. It is subtly complex and allows you to think for yourself.
42. The relationships were subtly hinted at and grew throughout the series. Example: Ron and Hermione.
43. J.K Rowling will actually take time to write an intriguing summary, rather than copy and paste a snippet that gives the entire plot away.
44. Because it actually has themes that don’t contradict themselves.
45. Because the books started out happier, but then got darker and darker as Voldemort gets more powerful and Harry realises what he’s up against.
46. Because everything ties together and makes sense
47. The foreshadowing is subtle enough that you won’t guess exactly what’s going to happen, yet not too subtle that you think nothing is happening.
48. Over ten years later and people are still reading the books.
49. “The words aren’t always perfect” does not apply in the Harry Potter universe.
50. Even Stephen King thinks J.K Rowling is the better author.
51. Quantity does not always equal quality. The Twilight series could have been ended in one book.
52. Notice how there’s no http://www.harrypottersucks.com.
53. J.K Rowling assumes that we understand what she is saying and doesn’t find it necessary to describe what Harry looks like every two pages.
54. J.K Rowling didn’t realize how big her fandom was until after she’d written the final book, in which she did a google search on Harry Potter and it blew her mind. Stephenie Meyer admitted that Twilight was only supposed to be one book but continued writing because it was so popular.
55. Because lots of time and effort was put into the books, they were not just pulled out of someone’s Seth in a few months.
56. Harry is noble, heroic and selfless. He is willing to risk his life for people he doesn’t know or doesn’t like. Example: Draco Malfoy in the Room of Requirement. He’s a hero we can all be proud of.
57. The main female character, Hermione, is not weak, she does not rely on a man to help her and she doesn’t complain about everything that happens. She is smart, brave, loyal and spends half the series bailing Harry and Ron out of trouble.
58. Even for all of her good traits, Hermione has her flaws. She has a fiery temper and it often gets the better of her (her many fights with Ron). And she has messed up before (she failed the practical Defense exam in third year, and allowed a Death Eater to grab a hold of her while apparating in Deathly Hallows). But even with her flaws, she is a girl we can be proud of. Bella is not.
59. When J.K Rowling uses a plot device, she uses something believable and affects the plot substantially. SMeyer uses plot devices that destroy her own canon (cough)Renesmee(cough).
60. Because the jokes in Harry Potter aren’t completely made up of sexual innuendos like they are in Twilight.
61. Because you can create a deep, personal connection with the characters in Harry Potter. Personally, I’ve formed better connections with rocks than I have with any of the Twilight characters.
62. The love that Lily had for Harry was touching and powerful. She gave up her life to save him, rather than because he died/didn’t love her. Edward and Bella’s “love” pales dramatically in comparison to this kind of love.
63. Because, rather than spending 100 pages describing what someone looks like, J.K Rowling actually works on creating a personality for her characters.
64. J.K Rowling isn’t afraid of killing off main characters – even if she did cry whilst writing it.
65. Harry is kind to even the smallest of magically creatures. When Dobby died, he dug the grave by hand instead of with magic as a tribute to the hard work that Dobby devoted his life to doing. Edward Cullen looks down on humans because they aren’t the perfect sparkly bits of fluff that he is.
66. Harry is infinitely loyal to all of his friends, even if they aren’t popular. Example: In the sixth book on the train ride to Hogwarts Romilda Vane comes and invites Harry to join her and her friends in their compartment saying that he doesn’t have to sit with Neville and Luna. He refuses saying, “They’re my friends.” Bella left her human friends for the Cullens at first chance.
67. Harry actually had to work to succeed. Bella got everything she wanted handed to her on a silver platter. She didn’t have to work for anything. This gives a bad example to people everywhere.
68. Because the characters in Harry Potter have at least some sort of affect towards the plot. They aren’t just there for the sake of being there.
69. Because J.K Rowling doesn’t try to explain things away with science. And fail at it.
70. Because, rather than making everyone “perfect”, there is a variation in the characters’ looks. Not everyone is “ZOMG SOO HAWT!!!!!!!!!!!!”. There are the cutie pies, like Dean Thomas, and Neville, who’s cute in that awkward, dorky way. It makes the characters seem more real.
71. Because the characters in Harry Potter are willing to die for each other, and some have. The Final Battle is proof that many of the students at Hogwarts would die to save Harry. The Cullens probably wouldn’t do the same thing, not that they were ever put in a situation that called for them to.
72. J.K Rowling follows the rules of “show don’t tell”.
73. No thesaurus’ were harmed in the making of Harry Potter.
74. To the best of my knowledge, Harry Potter has not ruined some of people’s favourite things. Example: music. A lot of people’s favourite bands have been destroyed because they were mentioned/had a song on the soundtrack and the Twitards have made it overly popular because of this.
75. It’s a story that I would actually want to read to my kids as a bedtime story. I wouldn’t let my kids near Twilight if they were still at the age in which I had to read to them so they could fall asleep. Especially not Breaking Dawn.
76. I don’t think anyone has ever made alternate titles to anything in the Harry Potter books. Example: Breaking Fail, The Demon Spawn, Renespawn. And many, many more.
77. Because The Harry Potter books actually have enough content for a full length movie.
78. While fantasy stories are supposed to be impossible in comparison to real life, Twilight takes “impossible” to a whole new level.
79. Because I like my books to have actual substance, thanks.
80. In all my years of reading Harry Potter, I have never had to close the book, put it down and walk away shaking my head like I did with Twilight (cough)Sparkle scene(cough)
81. Harry Potter shows that immortality isn’t everything. Twilight shows that if you aren’t immortal, you aren’t worth carp.
82. I never face palmed while reading Harry Potter. Ever.
83. Because no one in Harry Potter ever complained about carp wheater. Even if it meant that the Dementors were breeding.
84. Because Dobby the House-Elf would make a better boyfriend than Edward Cullen. He listens to you, is loyal and brave, and would do anything to help you.
85. Because J.K Rowling creates actually conflict in the series that aren’t solved as easily as snapping your fingers.
86. Because if when J.K Rowling has a battle scene at the end of a book, dammit it will have climax. Is totally NOT referring to that epic fail of a fight scene at the end of Breaking Dawn
87. After reading the final Harry Potter book, you are not left with more questions than answers.
88. J.K Rowling can find a less cliche way of ending a series than, “and we walked into our perfect piece of forever” or whatever SMeyer wrote.
89. A hobby. Bella needs to get one. Harry and Ron have Quidditch, Hermione reads and studies. All Bella does is obsess over Edward, which makes for a very boring book.
90. Twilight is drawn out way too far. J.K Rowling proved that some young adult books should be over 700 pages long. Stephenie Meyer proved that some shouldn’t be.
91. Because the hard work and dedication that J.K Rowling put into the series was evident. That Twilight lacked these two factors, was evident.
92. If J.K Rowling wrote a fight scene in which one character kills another, the person who’s point of view we’re reading in would not black out leaving us utterly clueless as to what’s going on.
93. Harry Potter would not try to pass off stalking, pedophilia, and abuse as “true love”.
94. Because rebelling against The Dark Lord and his Death Eaters as he rises to power makes for a better plot than anything SMeyer could possibly write.
95. Even the bad guys are kind of likable, because they have depth and layers that you will never find in Twilight’s characters. They’re interesting.
96. It keeps you guessing. Example: Snape. No one but J.K really knew where his loyalties truly lied until one of the very last chapters of the last book.
97. Because if J.K Rowling gives a character a weird name, the names meaning reflects the character, instead of being stupid.
98. Harry Potter has a complex plot with many twists and turns. Twilight is bland.
99. Harry Potter may be repetitive with the main plot. But that’s what makes it consistent. It also has many sub-plots that vary book-to-book.
100. Many people say that the Cullens are great because they are hot and rich. You know what I have to say to this? The Weasleys’. They may not be rich or well dressed. Yeah, their clothes and books are second hand. But they have love. And really, what more could you want? Mrs. Weasley actually killed Bellatrix for trying to kill Ginny. They are kind, loving and treat everyone as another member of the family. The Weasleys’ totally pwn the Cullens

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with books, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. If this sounds like you Copy and paste this on your profile.

95% of girls would go nuts if Justin Bieber jumped into the grand canyon. 4% of girls would yell jump. 1% of girls would throw a party.
Put this on your profile if your one of the 1% that would.

92% percent of the teen population would be dead by now
if a superstar said it wasn’t cool to breathe.
Attach this to your profile if you’re part of the 8%
that would be laughing their heads off.

---

FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin' "DAMN!"

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high-school /college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.

FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public. BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Why America Has Some Issues:

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do they use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents, if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts after using this product.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your best friend's pencils suck, copy and paste this into your profile.

People who say "nothing's impossible" have never tried slamming a revolving door.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you".

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever heard of National Talk like a Pirate Day copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile.

Some things to do at Wal-Mart:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow!'

18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a jedi match.

19. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"

20. Go into the lingerie section and put on a skimpy pair over your clothes and flirt with a worker.

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list! XD

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

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Copy this into your profile:

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

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If you have seen a movie so many times that you have memorized almost all of the lines, and you still laugh at every punch line, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile. (or in love with a couple in my case)

If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile.

If you expected the Twilight movies to suck copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy this onto your profile.

If you click the elevator button a thousand times even if you know it won't make it come any faster copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy this into your profile.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!

If it totally pisses you off when people say being gay is gross than copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

WHETHER IT BE BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE AND NOTHING LESS THAN JUST THAT!..copy this into your profile if you agree.

no offense, but abercrombie is one of the biggest wastes of money ever. you pay like, forty bucks for the shirt, and BAM! all it says is abercrombie on it. i don't get it - the advertisers are the customers, and in the advertisements the people don't WEAR anything! put this in your buddy info/profile if you agree.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

---

You've got to try this it's so much fun! Randomly list 12 characters from your favourite TV show:

1 – 9th Doctor

2 – Rose

3 – the Master(2nd)

4 – Jack

5 – Absorbaloff

6 – Reinette

7 – Dalek God

8 – 10th Doctor

9 – Mickey

10 – Martha

11 – Martha Clone

12– John Smith

1.Have you ever read a 6/11 fic?

Reinette/Martha Clone? No way in hell. It would be funny, though.

2.Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?

Absorbaloff is a snot-coloured, mullet-mohawked sumo-wrestler with faces on his arse. EWW!

3.What would happen if 12 got 8 pregnant?

If John Smith got the 10th Doctor pregnant? LOL! Their baby would be pretty hot. And exactly like them, since John Smith IS the Tenth Doctor...

4.Can you recall any fics about 9?

Mickey fics, sure. They’re mainly all about being rejected by Rose.

5.Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

Rose/Reinette * shudders * They'd be cute, I suppose, what with them both wanting the Doctor. But that's why they'd never work. They're both in love with him!

6. 5/9 or 5/10? Why?

Absorbaloff/Mickey or Absorbaloff/Martha. VOMIT! No way in hell! Miktha's too cute to break up over an outer space snot-sumo.

7.What would happen if 7 walked in on 2 and 12 having sex?

If Dalek God walked in on Rose and John Smith having sex? WTF... He'd first tell off Rose for not being with the Doctor coz she’s the woman he loves, then exterminate them both. Then realise he killed the Doctor and throw a party.

8.Make a summary for a 3/10 fic.

The Master(2nd)/Martha. I’m sure there have been a few of these: "She's the one who got away... Literally. What's going through the Master's mind in the year that never was."

9.Is there such thing as 1/8 fluff?

10th Doctor/Mickey? Aww! Probably, if its about Rose or something. Or if they're little kids. Aww, little Doctor!

10.Suggest a title for a 7/12 comfort fic.

Dalek God/John Smith – "Of Vengeful Gods And Lonely Little Boys"

11.What kind of plot would you use for 4 to deflower 1?

For Jack to deflower the 9th Doctor? Gee, that's, erm... Maybe in between The Doctor Dances and Bad Wolf's manifestation, they let Jack chose the destination, he picks a space bar, Rose snogs an alien, Jack deflowers Nine.

12.Does anyone on your friends list read 3 het?

Nope...

13.Do any of your friends write/draw 11?

No, none of them even visit FF.net. At least, IRL friends don't.

14.Would anyone of your friends list write 2/4/5?

Rose/Jack/Absorbaloff? No way in hell. Maybe without 5.

15.What might 10 scream at a moment of great passion?

Martha? “DOCTOR!”

16. If you wrote a songfic about 8, what song would you choose?

Martha... I'm actually writing a song called "Better Off In The End" about that... Does it count?

17. If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warning be?

4th Doctor/Reinette/John Smith? Warning – very OOC. And a crackfic

18.What might be a good pick-up line for 10 to use on 2?

For Martha to use on Rose? “So, the Doctor’s told me you’re pretty brilliant ... Care to demonstrate?”

19.When was the last time you read a fic about 5?

About Absorbaloff? Never.

20.What is 6’s super secret kink?

Reinette’s? She likes horses ... a lot. Yeah I have this obsession with Reinette and Arthur.

21.Would 11 shag 9? Drunk or sober?

Would the Dalek God shag Mickey? Doubtful, as Dalek's have no emotions and therefore don't get horny.

22.If 3 and 7 get together, who tops?

The Master and Dalek God? They'd fight over it and just end up killing each other.

23."(1) and (9) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3). " What title would you give this fic?

“9th Doctor and Mickey are in a happy relationship until Mickey runs off with Jack. 9th Doctor, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Martha Clone and a brief unhappy affair with John Smith, then follows the wise advice of Absorbaloff and finds true love with the Master” – ‘There's A Reason It Didn't Last, But This Is Just Ridiculous’

24.How would you feel if 7/8 was canon?

Dalek God/10th Doctor? WTF!?

Now it's your turn!

If you're a devout Doctor/Rose shipper, but even you are getting sick of all those reunion fics (there, I said it!), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a complete spelling/grammar/punctuation freak, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that Doctor Who is the Greatest Show in the Galaxy, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you understand the reference in the above sentence, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If you're one of the smart beings who knew that Rose would return someday, put this on your profile.

If the order you copy and paste things into your profile is completely random, copy and paste this into your profile.

Russell T Davies is evil and a genius. Mainly because he's brilliant and tries to hide it behind cruelty and coldness (towards, mainly, the poor Doctor and Rose). If you agree that Davies is an evil genius but has good intentions, copy this into your profile.

Steven Moffat classified Rose Tyler as the Doctor's "needy girlfriend," and that he had to hand it to the Doc for ditching her and 'palming her off on a copy of himself.' If this statements makes you very, very angry, join the club! (and copy this into your profile!)

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile.

If you've actually stopped reading a story because of the terrible state of the grammar, add this to your profile.

If you believe that a true Doctor Who fan must watch at least some of the classic series, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read someone else's profile and found that they have copied and pasted things from your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews, add this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

Geeks are smart. Geeks are cool. Geeks make up over 70 percent of the Universe's populace, or this one's, anyway. So geeks overpower all the rich and popular people, anyway. If you are a geek and proud of it, put this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet or thin air, put this on your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, put this in your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population on all planets would die if Abercombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. If you're one of the 8 percent that would would be laughing your bum off, put this on your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile.

If there are characters on a certain show (no need to mention names) that you HATE BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile.

A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

If you're one of the few people who actually know the answer to the question: What does HTML stand for? then copy and paste this on your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, put this in your profile.

If you've ever done the above on purpose, put this in your profile, also.

If you've ever seen a movie or so many times you can quote it word for word and you do at random times or when the moment seems to need a quote; put this in your profile.

If you think flamers should get a life, put this in your profile.

WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile.

If you are a proud shipper of whatever you ship, put this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading your own stories, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you think rap is the most God-awful thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without first spelling rap.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you should be doing homework right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you understand what I mean when I say that technically every human is a homo, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: TennantFanAndSadRandomAuthor, montypython203, SeddieShortBus

If you are a girl and you don't wear make-up, or if you are a guy and you do, paste this in your profile because you rock.

If you don't care what other people think about you or your clothes, about how much money you have, or about how pretty you are, paste this in your profile.

If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life (and the lives of your favourite characters), copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you avoid people who are permanently smiling at all costs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that the Doctor and Rose should have got together and run off to make lots of little Time babies then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are Doctor Who/Torchwood obsessed, copy this into your profile.

If you can easily finish a novel in one day, put this on your profile!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get way too excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you get irritated by people who use American spellings for character speech in stories that are set in Britain or Australia, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think homophobia is wrong, copy and place this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think Gwen Cooper should stick to her own boyfriend/husband and get her hands of Ianto's Captain Jack and Tosh's Owen, copy and paste this on your profile. GWEN/RHYS, TOSH/OWEN, AND IANTO/JACK FOREVER!

If you've met your near twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you want to be a writer someday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hope to write a bestseller someday, copy this into your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you do not use the typing system as taught and yet your typing system is quite effective, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate people who swear because they think its cool, copy and paste to your profile.

If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is, put this in your profile.

If your profile is longer than most of the chapters in your stories, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever finished a school report (or something) on the night before and you (magically) got an 'A' on it, then copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copy this into your profile.

If you think that you wasted two hours of your life watching High School Musical, copy and paste this on you profile.(Damn you, cousin)

If you like David Tennant more than Orlando Bloom, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever memorised something just to freak people out, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you utterly loathe and dispise Hannah Montana, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list! PorcelainHeart94, Darth KenObi-Wan,JediWolfMaster, montypython203

If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile

If you think High School Musical is evil,and brainwashes little kids,copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think High School Musical just plain sucked and every copy should be burned, copy and paste this to your profile

COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND CONTINUE THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SUCKS TRAIN! ADD YOUR NAME AND COPY AND PASTE! Stephanie Pascal, x Rajah x, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster, montypython203, SeddieShortBus

Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever called someone "mum" by accident and it isn't your mom.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your fashion sense is "is it comfortable?", copy this to your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

PLEASE READ THIS!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

Gay marriage:
1) Being gay is not natural. People always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Briteny Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why there is only one religion in Australia.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... --
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

The 'Shippers Oath (Not mine!)

I will hold
true to my pairing

I swear this oath ain't herring

And sometimes to flame another shippers ship

But only if they get me first

Otherwise... LEAVE THEM ALONE

Each shipper to their pairing

Each pairing to their show

May there be many fanfics

So all the world will know

Your pairing is the best

All shippers will try to prove their pair

And if they're motivated

They'll pluck "evidence" from the air

And through all of this

Bold and blue

I am a shipper

Always true

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╔╗╔═╦Put this on your profile
║╚╣║║╚╗If you like to laugh!
╚═╩═╩═╝

╔ღ═╗╔╗
╚╗╔╝║║ღ═╦╦╦═ღ
╔╝╚╗ღ╚╣║║║║╠╣ JOHNLOCK!!!
╚═ღ╝╚═╩═╩ღ╩═ღ

╔══╗
║██║put this
║ o ║on your page
╚══╝if you like music

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OKAY! Here's my actual information:

Favorite Actress/Musician: Billie Piper, 'cos lets face it. Billie? AWESOME! I mean, ohmygawd, epic!

Favorite TV show(s): Bones, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Sherlock, Whitechapel(Return of The Ripper), House of Anubis(and the Dutch one), The Big Bang Theory, Goosebumps, White Collar, Covert Affairs, Glee, The Glades, Rizoli and Isles, MAD, etc. I like other shows, but these are the ones I LOVE!

Favorite Colours: Green, red, blue, black, purple

Favorite Time Periods: Victorian Era/Wild West(same thing, save for geography), 20's to 50's in Europe/America, Ancient Greece/Rome, Egypt

Hobbies: Writing(der), reading, dancing, acting, watching my fave brain-rotters, running, drawing, swimming

Description: 5'7"-ish, ridickly pale, home-cut reddish-brown hair(I wanna dye it, but I'm a)not allowed on threat of death and b)too poor), muddy green eyes, black eyelashes that are about camel in dimensions, baby hands, fake-looking boobs(I'm 13 and a D. Der.), big feet, lots of bruises, and a permanent frown. My nails are purple a lot 'cos I think it looks cool.

Other Accounts:

YouTube--

http://www.youtube.com/user/RocketNinjaSlap

Fiction Press(delete spaces in browser)--

http: // www. fictionpress. com / u / 715377 / NinjaSlap

What The Hell Is Wrong With Me: ADHD, dyscalculia, synesthesia, and (this makes me laugh my arse off) I'm apparently a High-Functioning Sociopath. I also have too-perfect posture and it pisses people off.

Family: Drunken dad with horrendous stench and large, hairy limbs and gut, mom who yells at me 24/7 and threatens me a 25/8, sister who likes me sometimes. Cousins and AUncles not worth mentioning, everyone likes my sister better.

Friends IRL: Few.

Friends OL: Multiple.

Fun Facts: -Likes tea with 2 sugars

-Thinks subtitles make everything better

-Notices mistakes in movies and is aggravated by them

-Enjoys mixing sodas together(recommends lemonade, sprite zero with a wintergreen tic-tac, and diet pepsi)

-Wakes up at 5 am, which also pisses people off

-Has kissed two girls-has never had a real boyfriend

-was once told she looked like Pippa Middleton