-- I don’t care if you’re not gay, I’ll MAKE you gay --

Name: Ash/Vixen/Tala/Lily/Alpha/Saiyuki/Youko/The Pillow Queen Neko/Kawaiikoneko/Freddie/Fishie/etc...

Pets: Seth Pomegranite (ferret). Chuck Pineapple (ferret). Daisy (dog). Tecko (dog). Stevey (The pumpkin I carved).

Age: 19

Sexual Orientation: Bi

Height: I have none.

Hometown: Munchkin Land

Random Fact: I have come to the conclusion (based on real life events and having nothing to do with anything that goes on here) that I am a rod of hate (think lightning rod). So, bring on the bad reviews and the flames. Let me have it!

Fanfiction Preferences: Harry Potter, HP Crossovers - ALL slash.

Favorite HP Character: Sirius Black

Favorite HP Book: Prisoner of Azkaban

Favorite Movie: Hate them all equally.

Favorite Pairings: Harry x Lucius, Harry x Sirius, Harry x Remus, Harry x Charlie, Harry x Legolas, Harry x Draco, Harry x Blaise, Harry x Logan (Wolverine), Harry x Snape, Harry x Fenrir, Harry x Edward, etc I think you get the point. Put Harry with a guy and I'll read it.

Pairings I'm warming up to: Harry x Voldemort, have a few I like, but, not exactly preferred reading material.

Pairings I would like to see but haven't found: Harry x Aragorn, Harry x Jacob Black

Straight fanfics I Prefer to Read: Sailor Moon. For years, I have (with a passion) hated Mamoru/Darien. He's an asshole and I never understood why she stuck with him. I do have a soft spot for Prince Diamond and Seiya. So I will read fanfics with Serena/Serenity paired with either of them.

NOTE: MPREG is okay, but there has to be some kind of reasonable explanation (like oh gee idk magic for example). You can't write a story set in the regular normal world that I live in and have a man get pregnant and expect me to buy it unless you have one hell of an awesome fucking explanation (and it has to be really fucking good - it has to be the best explanation since the first time a student claimed his dog ate his homework).

Will I be writing any: Despite previous denials - I have in fact posted a few. Check them out.

Reviewer Stats: I promise to try and submit a review to all of the ones I read. Sometimes, I forget or I get lazy, but there are also times when I just have nothing nice to say. I'm not good at sugar-coating. But I do always try to keep my criticism constructive. If I failed, I apologize. However, do NOT send me hate e-mails just because I didn't like your story! I do NOT tolerate that kind of crap, and I will turn you into sushi!

Fatal Flaw: Sometimes when I reach the end of a story and leave a review, I'll either write about all the good or all the bad and forget about what I loved or hated about the story.

Things I like: going on quests with my entourage, a good story, chocolate, anime, music, open-minds, animals, Dr. Pepper, Grape Soda, and people who think outside the box.

Things that I don't like: my uncle Gerald, my aunt Donna, onions, ignorance, religion pushers (you have the right to believe whatever the hell you want to believe and so do I), not taking responsibility for your actions (excuses are like assholes-everybody has one and the blame game is a ginormas waste of time), sunlight (its way too bright and yellow is such a creepy color shudders), that Dr. Pepper and chocolate taste horrible together, and prejudice of any kind.

Favorite Quotes:

“America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say “You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who’s standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can’t just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the “land of the free” ~Micheal Douglas as Andrew Shepard in The American President

"Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer." ~Matt Damon as Loki in Dogma

"Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves." ~Alan Rickman as Metatron in Dogma

"Liz: He said that faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small, and it's easy to fill up. But the older you get, the bigger the glass gets, and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore. Periodically, the glass has to be refilled.
Bethany: You're suggesting I need to get filled?
Liz: In more ways than one. You need to get laid, Bethany Sloane. You need a man, if only for ten minutes.
Bethany: It's been my experience that the average male is never a man. Not even for ten minutes in his entire lifespan.
Liz: That'a a bit militant. You thinking of joining the other side?
Bethany: Couldn't do it. Women are insane.
Liz: Then YOU need to go back to church and ask God for a third option.
Bethany: I think that God is dead.
Liz: The sign of a true Catholic." ~Linda Fiorentino as Bethany and Janeane Garofalo as Liz in Dogma

"You are going to come across a lot of shitty bands and a lot of shitty people. And if anyone of those people calls you names because of what you look like or because they dont accept you for who you are. I want you to look straight at that motherfucker, stick up your middle finger and scream FUCK YOU" - Gerard Way (MCR)

"Be yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive.” - Gerard Way

~Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.-- Jack Handy~

~Look, you can’t just be queen because some snow covered bitch threw a sword at you.

~Life is unfair, sometimes. Sometimes, the hero will find himself pinned under a thousand-pound gay Sumo wrestler with a hard-on and a bottle of Viagra, while the villain will be lounging on a beach chair a thousand miles away, sipping piña coladas in Fiji with a buxom blonde bimbo massaging the kinks out of his…feet. Yes, sometimes life is startlingly unfair, and it would do a person well to remember that.

~Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. --Mel Brooks~

~Words can't hurt you unless the person saying them writes them on an anvil and drops it on your head.~

~If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

~Just when you realize life's a bitch, it has puppies.

~Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

-- I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!

-- Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

-- That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.

-- We aren't retreating, we're just advancing in another direction.

Um...don't really know what else to say so...OCTOPUS LOTION~~~~