hey everyone out there, well i have a billion copy and pastes it is ridiculous all i have to say is i am an aspiring writer hoping to get published, if u want a preview of what i am working on PM me, i will get back to year within that 3 day time period. i am a book lover mainly maximum ride and twilight. plz review good or bad i don't mind.

contacts:

www.max-dan-wiz.com - my name is Fang lover i have a blog there

There is no sincere love like the love of food

Two Wolves

One evening an old P.E. teacher told his students about a battle that
goes on inside people. He said, "Students, the battle is between two
"wolves" inside us all.

One is evil. It is self-doubt, inferiority, envy, jealousy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false
pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is hope, humility, joy, peace, love, serenity,
kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and
faith."

The students thought about it for a minute and then asked their
teacher: "Which wolf wins?"

The old P.E. teacher simply replied, "The one you feed."

Friend: Hides me from the cops Best Friend: is probably the reason
they are after me in the first place

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I
bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done!

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. - When
she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont
believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her
before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that
matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all
night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or
her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored or sad, hang out with
her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass
am I kicking babe?"

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

"Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile"

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

25 Things my wonderful Mother taught me!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Darkness...

Its in every heart...

It keeps love and death apart...

The light pushes hard...

But so does the dark...

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put
in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm
gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in
law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli'
meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us
we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the
directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
Why do people say ,"you can't have your cake and eat it too" when no
one would have a cake if they can't eat it?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let
the world wonder how you did it
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye

My eyes are heavy,

My breathing slowed,

And yet I still

Want you to know

What’s been on my mind,

What I’ve been thinking through

Because most of the time I’m thinking

It’s usually about you.

How you laughed and smiled

How you danced when you walked.

How your voice sounded like bells

Every time you talked.

How your eyes twinkled

When you looked at the birds, so free.

And sometimes, only sometimes,

When you looked at me.

So I closed my mouth

And went through the movements

So that you’d never know

That I was treasuring those moments

When we truly connected

When we didn’t have to speak

When we knew what’s wrong

What needs support since its weak.

So now I close my heart off

So that I can cool down,

So that I can I can think clearly,

So that my smile fades to a frown.

And I close my eyes

And try to get some sleep

Even though I know

I can’t stop thinking of you and me.

But as I drift off

I smile because I know

That even though you’ve passed on,

I can still dream of you.

xXx

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen.

I cannot see,

I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My parents so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.

When I'm awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My parents aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the far wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

with unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

If you are against child abuse put this poem on your profile!

Girl: You should slow down, this is to fast

Boy: This is how a motorcycle is supposed to feel but if you tell me
you love me, i'll slow down

Girl: I love you!

Boy: Now you have to give me a hug.

Girl: (She squeezed around the boys boys waist from behind him)

Boy: Now you must take my helmet from my head and put it on you then i
will slow down.

Girl: (puts helmet on her head)

Newspaper headline next morning: Fatal motorcycle accident after
brakes went out, male died and female lived being the only one with a
helmet. In truth the boy knew his breaks went out and told his
girlfriend she loved him one last time and to feel her hug then he
gave her his helmet so she could live.

The favorite quotes and sayings….

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat
Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to
magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper
do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to
people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly
suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell
you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap
up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose
rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I
can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm
sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it
only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of
them.!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells
you why it's not.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so
sure about the universe.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty
sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I
don't think you'd kill a lot of people.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I ran with scissors, and lived!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and
then I'l die and it will all be YOUR FAULT.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not
cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends
will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days."

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that is called cannibalism
and is frowned upon in most societies.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

And Carlisle said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was gooooood

OMC- Oh My Carlisle

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you
probably haven't fully understood the situation. (So true. Plus
freakishly calm people scare me)

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in
books or movies.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch
the world wonder how you did it.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have...

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning,
friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips. (shifty eyes... lol)

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal!!

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got
lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you
lack sufficient imagination.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
Steve Martin

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use
being a damn fool about it.
W.C. Fields

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must
be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonnette

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife
finds out, she'll kill me.
Henry Youngman

It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Laurence J. Peter

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Samuel Palmer

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Unknown

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-- Paul BeattyIn life, it's not who you know that's important, it's
how your wife found out.
Joey Adams

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the
movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV
shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You
thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked
him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You
thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him
by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to
campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside
the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post
this on your profile

Top Three Favorite Quotes and Sayings: And so the lion fell in love
with lamb, You know your in love when you can't sleep because reality
is finally better than you dreams, I'd rather be hated for who I am
than loved for who I'm not.

I cdnuolt blviee taht I cloud aulactly

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanig. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in wht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be tatol

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wohle.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipomorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

-I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because
I hate plants.
-I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
-I go online sometimes, but everybody's spelling is really bad and it
depresses me.
-Some advice: Never take a blind date to a silent film.
-Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
-For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
-Angry people need hugs. Or sharp objects.
-People tell me I don't listen...or something like that.
-Calling you an idiot would be an insult to the stupid people.
-There is no "I" in team, but there is a "Me".
-My life is based on a true story.
-Rehab is for quitters!
-If you think nobody cares you're alive, try not filing your taxes.
-There are no stupid questions, only a vast number of inquisitive idiots.
-We're all entitled to our own opinions. So, in my opinion, your opinion sucks.
-I'm not a showoff, you're just stupid.
-Friends don't let friends get mullets.
-Or lick frozen poles.
-If Tylenol, duct tape, or a band-aid can't fix it, you've got a
serious problem.
-People like you are the reason people like me hate people.
-Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.
-By the time you have finished reading this, you will have realized
you just wasted 10 seconds of your life.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I
would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Fav saying:- Weird means different, so if I'm weird and you're
different to me...that makes you weird too...right?

1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers,l arge fries,
and a diet coke.

5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.

6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of
dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to
screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of
ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and
'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with
Braille lettering.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when
you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Jasper,"...and it was gooooood

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not
cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard"
when sent to the Headmasters office.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a
dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before
studying, and friends before love.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act
stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls,
we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think
I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and
ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search
of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits
me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think
the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd
kill too many people.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles
to reach out and slap someone.

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people
try to figure out what the hell you did."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just
drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?"

Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get
squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and
it holds the universe together."

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick."

"Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable."

"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to
tell you why it isn't."

"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow's not looking good, either."

"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends,
if it's not them, it's you."

"Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls."

"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones
are handicapped."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."

"You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."

"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a
revolving door."

"I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."

This is Written by a Guy!!

Not Me i Just Thought It Was Cute

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the
room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us,
yeah, it makes us kinda mad.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes
without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there..

We don't care if a guy calls >OR TEXTSbut at 2 in the morning we do
get a littl e concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.

That it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it..

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.

Take Advantage of the mood im in.

Let us pay for you!

dont 'feel bad'

We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say 'thank you.

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel
the need to
wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not what you are.

Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.

or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up..

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown,
Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'
i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me
with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or
whatever else you can think of.

On the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether ; )

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right
by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!

Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population
and find someone who will treat you with utter respect

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the
eyes...and say 'i love you' .and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this,
so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I
do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or
doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back
or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking
to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and
splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is,
doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves
reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the
time to do any more, who isn't obsessed with Twilight, who can express
herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to
complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Fav saying:- Weird means different, so if I'm weird and you're
different to me...that makes you weird too...right?

Stephanie

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got
enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without
getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror:
"You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce:
"I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on
the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go
back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then
scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures
and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Dance like no one is watching.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Sing like no one is listening.

Live like it's heaven on earth.

Work like you don't need the money.

Speak like you've never been heard.

Listen like the voice is a melody.

Write like you just found the words.

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how he is
lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

I'm Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old I Am Now

REMEMBER WHEN ..

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would
be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a
hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by
those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his
sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
'American Idol' made it famous...the radio made it annoying!
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that
brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Edward Cullen made every girl want a bloodthirsty vampire instead of a
knight in shining armor.
Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle
created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one
of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

"If you're gonna be two faced, sweetie, at least make one of them pretty."

"We have witnessed a classic example of what I'd like to call
'misdirected rage'. I think the technical term is 'being an ass'."

"So many people treat you like you're a kid, so you might as well act
like one and throw your television out the hotel window."

"They say I have A.D.D, but I just don't understa- OH LOOK A KITTY!"

"Sometimes I have dreams that toilets are eating my bum. I'm terribly
afraid of them."

"Can you covor your face... it's hurting my eyes!"

"It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hysterical."

"I just moved you to the top of my 'to-do' list."

"Jealousy is a terrible sickness. Hope you get well soon, whore!"

"Can you run 850 feet per second? If not, your head better be bulletproof."

"Everythings funny as long as it's happening to someone else."

"Jesus loves you... but everyone else thinks you're an asshole."

"I run with sissors! It makes me feel dangerous."

"Depressed? Over Worried? Family Problems? Unappreciated? Money
Worries? Well here's a pill for you! Fukitol! When life just blows...
Fukitol!"

"Don't make me break my foot off in your ass!"

"Fuck politics, I just want to burn shit down!"

"Don't follow my footsteps (I run into walls)."

"Don't have sex! Or you will get pregnant and die!"

"You truely out gayed yourself."

"Next time you feel like your all alone, just remember there are 1,000
other whiney kids just like you."

"There's no I in slut, but there's a U."

"Seeing Sasuke making funny faces amuses me greatly."

"I have CDO, it's like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical
order like they should be."

"NO TRESPASSING! Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again!"

"If you can't dazzle the world with your knowledge, then daffle them
with your bullshit!"

"It's a beautiful day! Now watch some asshole fuck it up..."

"There's this great little tool that God gave us. And that's this
little switch in your head that goes 'mmmmmmfuckit...'"

"No. As a matter of fact, you did not do my mom last night. Thanks."

"I DO know it all. I just can't remember it all at once."

"I swear to drunk I'm not God.."

"Let me know if I say anything that offends you. I might want to
offend you again later."

"Everytime I go to the doctors, I get a jacket, a straight one. And It
makes me feel special because I get to hug myself."

"Please, don't throw your cigrette ends on the floor, the cockroaches
are getting cancer."

"I am the future of America. Be afraid, be very afraid."

"It's because I'm white, isn't it?"

"Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run! He hates that!"

"Having a smoking section in a restraunt is like having a peeing
section in a pool."

"Story of my life: I'm the shit, the end!"

"I ran with sissors and survived."

"I use my breasts to get other peoples attention."

"No. Go away. Or I'll pour scolding hot emo on you." Sometimes I wish
I could just be a little kid again. So when life gets tough you can
just play pretend. I wanna go back to when Santa did exist. When your
daddy was the only boy you ever kissed. When Disney World was the best
place to be. When the only movies you could see were rated G. When
your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't
change...and your friends were the same. And every time you were sad
or you had a bad day, you could just run to mommy and it would all be
okay. I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter. When
everyone always lives happily ever after.

.:X:.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black
man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was
born I was BLACK. When I grew up I was BLACK. When I'm sick I'm BLACK.
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK. When I'm cold I'm BLACK. When I die
I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK. When you
grow up you're WHITE. When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in
the sun you turn RED. When you're cold you turn BLUE. When you die you
turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man
then sat back down and the white man walked away.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this
little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier
said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are
you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to
buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to
look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the
doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he
wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for
Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after
all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her
where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can
give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with
God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I
thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my
sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy
not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He
then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't
forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy
says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check
again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to
his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough
for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to
sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so
that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy,
but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to
buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I
started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which
mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young
woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical
state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the
life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to
recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news
paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went
to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for
people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her
hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her
chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed
for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his
sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes,why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
15 a. Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
33. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
34. Shouldn't there be a shorter word for Monosyllabic?