Poll: Who's the awesomest guy? Vote Now!
Hi people who are reading this! I am talking now! Or is it writing? Interesting...
Anyhoo! I like the Twilight saga, Inheritance Cycle, Harry Potter series, and Hunger Games. I like writing stories because... I don't know. I'm unlike other 12 year-olds. I love reading (obviously), I hate heights, and if you ask me why, you might regret it. I am impatient and, and people say I'm annoying (Me? Annoying? No...). Also, if the four series above, my favorite is Inheritance Cycle, then Hunger Games as a close second, Harry Potter third, and Twilight fourth because I hate New Moon!
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Whose cruel idea was it to have a 's' in the word 'lisp'?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD
If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future? (who the hell said we aren't?)
If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable? (cause it reminds us of those damn people obsessed with 'global warming')
Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas? (we can dream, can't we?)
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number? (no one likes numbers)
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? (because your morals are screwed up)
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey? (Because when he was named the people were drunk)
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile? (what else would it be called, a cat pile?)
When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother? (Mary Junior... not cool)
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? (only if you're a kickass guy with a white beard and a blue outfit)
If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying their products? (because he's a damn coyote)
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? (cause we all need a day off from that crap)
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do? (because they just do!)
Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine?
Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number?
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.
Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!
When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
My mind works like lightning... one flash and then it's gone.
Almost doesn't count as long as it stays almost.
Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
"You can't always argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention" Brom from Eragon. (flipping awesomest series in the world, damnit!)
Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it?
When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.
Silence is golden but duck tape is silver
Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washer machines.
You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
Being normal is overrated.
Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.
There's no I in team, but there is a M and an E.
I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
I can resist anything but temptation.
One out of four people are insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
If you fight fire with fire, you end up with a bigger fire.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever started laughing for no reason, copy this onto your profile.
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