Well, after a while of secretly browsing Fanfictions and leaving Anonymous reviews, I finally decided to get an account. I'm a very boring person with almost no life, so don't mind me. I don't know what I should put on here, so I guess I'll put random quotes and such. First, a little personal information.

Name:// Danielle
Nick-Name:// Danni
Gender:// Female
Age:// 14
Likes:// Soul Eater, Wolf's Rain, Books, Drawing, Reading, Writing, Friends, Computers, Kiba Inuzuka
Dislikes:// Twilight, Animal Abuse, Animal Experimentation, Chinese Fur Farms, Disney Channel, Cartoon Network, Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montanna, that sort of stuff.
Contact:// Just PM me.
Personal Quote:// If at first you don't suceed, cheat, repeat until caught, then lie.

P.S.- My friend Tom helped.

By the way,
I will not consider my life complete until I beat a man to death while wearing a tuxedo.

CRACK - My Anti-Drug
...Oh...Wait...
...ಠ_ಠ

You can't spell 'Danger' without 'Anger'
You can't spell 'Slaughter' without 'Laughter'

A King learns by his ears;
A saint by his intellect;
A beast by his nose;
And a fool... by his expirance.

Stupid, Stupid Instructions...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Because that's the only time I want to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(So we're supposed to open the packet in the store?)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(I thought this was DIAL soap, not regular soap.)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But is only a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Well, to late to do anything now.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(And let me guess, it will be cold after cooling?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Aw, but it's so warm.)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(Of course, because my son always drives me to work while he goes to work at the construction site.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(Yes, why else would people go out and buy a SLEEP AID If they didn't want to sleep?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(Hold up. Pasta is for... eating?)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Do parents perform surgery on their kids?)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(What's the third option?)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(The fake artificial bacon bits to expensive for ya?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Um... now I'm confused.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Noooo, really?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Really? I thought it was a suppository.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitials.
(Because people always use a chainsaw while naked)
Tom's Comment; ...You could've warned me earlier!!)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Why don't you just tell the kids that Santa isn't real while you're at it.)

TIME FOR A MATH LESSON
From a strictly mathmatecal viewpoint...
What makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We all have been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over one hundred percent. How about acheiving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions;
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11= 98 percent
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96 percent
but
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100 percent
and,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20= 103 percent
and look how far this one will take you,
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118 percent!
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and ASSKISSING that will put you over the top. (and this is the truth, kiddies.)

--Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
--Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
--If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
--Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
--Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
--Why is the word abbreviation so long?
--If a turtle doesnt have a shell is he homeless or naked?
--If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
--Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
--Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine/sugar.
--Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
--My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.
--Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words
--I used up all of my sick days...so I'm calling in dead

Teen Commandments
1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2. Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6. Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7. Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave 'em in the middle)

You know you're obssesed with Anime when...
1. You own a shiny metal object of doom.
2. You and your friends have anime nicknames.
3. You know your favorite character’s birthday; favorite color, food, and animal, blood type, and you cant even remember your sibling’s birthday.
4. You are in multiple anime fan clubs (or own some!).
5. You almost die if you miss an episode of your favorite anime, or can't buy the newest manga.
6. Your friend shows you their manga collection and you drool all over their carpet.+
7. You have dressed up as you favorite character on Halloween, or just for fun!
8. You have a picture of your favorite character in your wallet or purse.
9. You prefer guys with long silver hair and swords. (guys, just think of a female equivalent)
10. You write a story about your favorite character for English class.
11. You have pictures of anime all over you walls.
12. You have a dream in Japanese and you don’t even understand it.
13. You want to learn Japanese for no apparent reason, even though you have never been to Japan and probably never will.
14. Your knowledge of Japanese only extends to "hello" and "I will kill you". (or something along those lines)
15. You begin to learn Japanese through watching subs.
16. You use Japanese when in a conversation with any random person, and don’t realize you did until you see them looking at you funny.
17.You can't speak Japanese and can't understand Japanese, yet you can sing along to the theme song of every anime movie you own.
18. You accidentally call a very unintelligent person Kuwabara by mistake.
19. You wear a pink jewel around your neck and call it the shikon jewel.
20. You waist countless amounts of hair gel trying to that "goku" look.
21. (If you speak English) when English becomes your second language.
22. You name (or plan to name) your children after anime characters.
23. You buy shuriken or kunai.
24. You speak in subtitles.
25. You prefer anime over real life.
26. You begin to think that blue or pink is a natural hair color.
27. You continually buy and eat ramen, even if you don’t like it that much.
28. You suddenly decide to study a random martial art.
29. You cosplay daily.
30. When you get a crush on an anime character.
31. When you accidentally call someone an anime character's name
32. When you see someone with vaguely pointed ears and start screaming "Yōkai!" at them.
33. When you want ramen to be added to your school's lunch menu.

Ways to annoy the hell out of people:
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
3. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
4. Sniffle incessantly.
5. Name your dog "Dog."
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions " to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
9. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
10. Drum on every available surface.
11. Honk and wave to strangers
12. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
13. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
14. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
15. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
16. dont use any punctuation either
17. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
18. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
19. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
20. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
21. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
22. Sing the lamb chop neverending song over and over again.
23. Mow your lawn with scissors.
24. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
25. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
26. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
27. Never make eye contact.
28. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
29. Never break eye contact.
30. Stare at strangers just for the heck of it.
31. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
32. Sing along at the opera.

~You know you live in 2009 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

Only in America...
...Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
...Are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks
...Sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front
...People buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8
...The banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter
...People order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke
...People leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages
...People use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place
...Is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures

10 Best Things About Being a Girl;
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horiscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

Tom's Literature Corner;

Moo- A word that moomoos say
Splorange-Yummy colors
Kirby-My imagienary freind(I'm lonely)
Dragons-Rawr!!(TeeHee)
Batman-Gay(He wears tights:( )
Tom- Super Specials:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I like to smiley gdskjdbsjngkvnzzzzzzzQ(Said like a true Gentleman)
ME am smarties(saidez like smarty person.)
Danni-Good edmucationismsgadf