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| SkittleE |
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Author has written 5 stories for Moonlight, and Twilight. I love Twilight, and Harry Potter, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians, I don't have a life basically seeing all I do is read. Weird things about me: I plot to destroy large franchise company's, I hate pepperoni, and hard-shelled tacos, I MST3K anything, I think Oreos are of the devil, any pizza that isn't frozen is evil to me, I constantly make plans to kidnap my brother, I've tried slamming a revolving door, and so on... I try to update my stories as often as I can but seeing as Windows Parental Controls destroy everything near and dear to me I can't do that very often. Reviews are always greatly appreciated, unless they're bashing my story. Then I'll just hate you. I love thinking, "What if I had been there?" and that happens so many times I've gotten confused on what I'd do where. So I'll probably find a way to work myself into every story. My Moonlight story is currently on hiatus so that I can work on Cheshire Cat. For all of you who think the prologue for that story is extremely stupid and cheesy, I do to. Trust me. But I have an idea to go along with that which will come into play later in the story, so don't give up on it! The Rules of Hogwarts 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month" 10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand 11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work" 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it 16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive 17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day" 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor 21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full" 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween 28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bee's" 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge 30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core" 31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin 32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers 33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion 34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" 35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts 36) I do not have an Emmett Cullen Patronous 37) I will not lick Trevor 38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey" 39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween and ask Harry if he forgives me 40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously 41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions 42) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet 43) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice 44) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape or Draco Malfoy is the Voice of God 45)I will not ask Sirius if he's serious Marauder’s Code of Conduct 1. All Slytherins are disgusting and all should be hated with a passion. 2. Pranking is a necessity. 3. Must have the ability to keep a secret. 4. Making a move on Lily Evans is forbidden unless you are Prongs. 5. Must have a cool nickname. 6. Respect the fears and challenges for fellow Marauders. 7. Teachers are fun to mess with, do it at least once a week. 8. Stick up for fellow Marauders. 9. Do not refer to Moony’s furry little problem as “his time of the month”. 10. Marauders first, everything else, second. Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is. Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’. Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever. Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while. Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her. Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’. Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy … disagrees. Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Ron Weasley … is very afraid. Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much. Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat. Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out. George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry. Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter. James Potter … doesn’t believe her. Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’. Sirius Black … killed by drapery. Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences. Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane. Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush. Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’. Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence. Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet. (I'm not one for re-posting things that tell you to re-post, but I just had to try for this. I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd like a million dollars in twelve minutes.) There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been My name is Ann and I am 45 years What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but Go for it! SCROLL DOWN! STOP! Congratulations! Your wish will Now follow this carefully...it If you repost this within the next 5 min. FAKE FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FAKE FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FAKE FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FAKE FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FAKE FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FAKE FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool withyouatthat time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FAKE FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, girl ,run!" FAKE FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FAKE FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FAKE FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying quote;"DAMN!" we messed up! FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FAKE FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FAKE FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FAKE FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FAKE FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FAKE FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. Randoms Funnies ~Three women were on an airplane.One woman took a bite out of an apple and thought it was too sweet,so she threw it out the window. THe second woman took a bite out of an lemon and thought it was to sour, so she threw it out the window. The third woman took a bite out of a hand grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so she threw it out the window. A few minutes later they landed the plane and started walking. They came across a little boy crying. One woman asked they little boy, "Why are you crying?" To which he replied, "AN apple fell out of the sky andhit my puppy on the head and killed it." THey told him they were sorry and kept walking. A few minutes later the women came across a crying little girl. The second woman asked, "Why are you crying?" The little girl said, " A lemon fell out of the sky and hit my poor kitty on the head and killed it." Tey told her they were sorry and kept walking. A few minutes later th women came across a blond laughing histerically. THe third woman asked her, "Why in the cheez-its are you laughing so hard!?" The blond wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes said, " I farted and the building behind me blew up!!" ~He Said: ~A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. ~Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed ~The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. ~A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..." ~A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, ~A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales. ~One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: ~Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' ~A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.' I am a girl. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods... On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso . 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!! No I do not have kids nor am i an adult. Oldness, ew. i had to post it, it told me 2! Annoying things to do in an elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, 2) STAND silent and motionless in the 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look 12) TRY to make personal calls on the 13) DRAW a little square on the floor 14) WHEN there's only one other person 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they 16) ASK if you can push the button for 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL 1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and clean your teeth. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" 16. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!" 17. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match. 18. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!" You Know You Live In 2008 When You... 1.)You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 9 Things I Hate About Everyone: 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie? Things to remember: You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it I don't obsess! I think intensely. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?! Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Utter randomness!! If you're going to criticise someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars and wondering 'Where the heck is my roof?' Ten percent of people in Britain believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door. If you get sent to jail, a friend will bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, "Darn we sure screwed up! Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it? When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracingYou cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. -I do not suffer from insanity! I enjoy every minute of it! -I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay. -I have plenty of common sense! I just chose to ignore it. -Yeah, I'm a freak. BUT I'M THE COOLEST FREAK YOU'LL EVER MEET!! -Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it! You thought I was going to say 'to get to the other side' didn't you! I tricked you!! eh heh! -if olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? -Love your enemies. And that's only one way to annoy them! -tell the truth and RUN FOR IT -If everything is going well in my mind then you have overlooked something -you cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder -The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame -I got you a present. It's a CD. I hope you don't have it already coz I don't have the receipt. i didn't exactly buy it. -When in doubt, make up words An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. -Silence is golden, duct tape is silver -Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out -Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. -Im not saying your stupid im just implying it -I had a freind once... but then hs rope boke and he ran for it. -I took the road less traveled... NOW WHERE THE HECK AM I? 1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. 2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. 3.)If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. 4.)Would you like a cookie? So would I. 5.)You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear 6.)A day without sunshine is like... night. 7.) A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! 8.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!! 9.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'. 10.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth. 11.)America is a free country. Of course, you can't get that freedom untill you are eighteen, but that's okay, because when you do turn eighteen, you get a bunch of privlieges, like doing jury duty, paying taxes, and paying off bills... 12.)A stranger will stab you in the back, a friend will stab you in the front, a boyfriend will stab you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. 13.)Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated! 14.)Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then! 15.)"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not." Now remember whoever came up with that quote is an idiot. Why the hell would you not want to be loved? 16.)My favorite word is sarcasm. 17.)It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity. 18.)I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else. 19.)At the start of your life, you will be awarded a lifetime supply of air. Use it wisely. 20.)I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? 21.)When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say. 22.)I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. 23.)When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. 24.) The dark side has cookies, but we have pie. Blueberry, to be exact. 25.)Be who you are and say what you feel for those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind 26.)Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved problems? 27.)Education is important. school however, is another matter. 28.)What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 29.)Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... 30.)Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it? 31.)Don’t mess with me, I've got a stick 32.)A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. 33.)If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. 34.)Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. 35.) When life gives you lemon, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!! 36.)When life gives you lemons, throw it in the trash and tell life you'd rather have money. 37.)My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone. 38.)1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. 39.)there are 3 kinds of people in this world. those who can do math and those who can't. 40.)dont worry about the people in your past, theres a reason they didnt make it to your future 41.)The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. 42.)Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of. 43.)Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. 44.)When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eyes. 45.)When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it. 46.)Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public. 47.)EMO=Extravagantly Made Oragami 48.)Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed--Im not a can. 49.)Normal is just a setting on washing machines. 50.) (ok this ones long) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that trash up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!! 51.)Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. 52.)Ever stop to think and forget to start again? 53.)You're intoxocated by my very presence! 54.)I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends jk u guys r awsome(gravy) 55.)I ran with scissors, and lived! 56.)Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. (charlie and the chocolate factory) 57.)I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. 58.)BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. 59.)Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS 60.)BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool! 61.)There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 62.)Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - 63.) What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' 64.) "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." 65.)A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 66.)worst excuse for not turning in nomework: i couldent find anyone to copy it from 67.)the only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory 68.) he who laughs last didnt get it 69.)when theres a will i want to be in it 70.) Do not lead me into temptation. I can find it myself 71.)the number of people watching you is directly proportinal to the stupidity of your action 72.) when everything's coming your way, your in the wrong lane 73.) i couldnt repair your brakes, so i made your horn louder 74.) Everyone makes mistakes. the trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking 75.)Being mature is overrated 76.)Being weird is like being normal, only better. 77.)I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. 78.)Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. 79.)it takes 42 muscles to frown 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. 80.)I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? 81.)Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life 82.)If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk 83.)I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth 84.)Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why. 85.)Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. 86.)WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff 87.)Person#1: Happiness is just around the corner! 88.)Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional... 89.)If two wrongs don't make a right, try three 90.)I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. 91.)Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. 92.)I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL! 93.)When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand candy. 94.)When life gives you lemons, keep them; because hey, free lemons! Copy these to your profile and add your own! Together we shall make the list of infinite stupid advice! | |||||
1. The Fall reviews"I'll always want him. I won't forget him. I can't let him go. Ever." Bella holds onto Edward with everything she can, and refuses to let him go. She'll do anything to get to him again. Anything. OOC, AU/H. The NEHEA contest submission.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,155 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5-8-11 - Bella & Charlie S. - Complete2. Cheshire Cat » reviewsBella's twelve year old cousin moves to Forks, disappears, becomes a vampire, and causes more trouble then the Cullens could have imagined. Set between New Moon and Eclipse. I suck at summary's.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,117 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 10-15-10 - Published: 6-29-10 - Bella & Edward3. A normal day for the Volturi » reviewsTHIS. IS. A. CRACKFIC. That means that it will be stupid, odd, and random. Don't like? Don't read. I'll update this as I get bored, which means up to two or three times a day.Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,951 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 8-7-10 - Published: 7-27-10 - Santiago & Gianna4. Personne ne reste en vie reviewsJane and Alec are the most feared members of the Volturi guard. What made them this way? Rated T for violence, description of the results, and language. One of my darker pieces. Title's french, you can look up what it means. One-shot.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,251 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-25-10 - Jane & Alec - Complete5. All A Dream » reviewsA twelve year old Moonlight fan is unexpectedly thrust into the supernatural world. She wasn't expecting it but hey, never look a gift horse in the mouth. This is basically how I would react to being put into the Moonlight world. Rated T just in caseMoonlight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,284 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-7-10 - Published: 5-2-10
