WARNING:

The contents and stories of this FanFiction.Net profile are licensed for private home viewing purposes only and are protected under the terms of both the U.S.Code (Title 17, Sections 501 & 506) and the Australian Code (Title 53, Sections 3 & 95), and the 2005 P.I.E treaty (AKA the Don't Feela Upa Mah Fan Fiction).

Under the express orders of Ninetails, supreme overlord to the goodness that is P.I.E, any unauthorized duplication, public screening or use of the contents as a tissue, a newspaper, an essay, origami or maybe, under extreme and desperate circumstances, a contraceptive device, is strictly prohibited, and will be dealt with in the most severe manner possible, most probably involving a dead parrot, tomato sauce, The Masamune and a very, very deprived EVA, AKA A Really Really Big Purple Robot.

Any concerns involving any of the contents can be forwarded to the newly hired CEO of P.I.E, Kaiba Seto, and he will be more than happy to take your complaints, when he is not receiving lap dances from one Otogi Ryuuji, AKA The Slut for Hire With One S.E.X.Y CEO Between His Thighs.

Please note that P.I.E is not responsible for any bombs that you may receive in the mail, random attacks by the newly discovered species Y.U.K.I owned by the elusive Pikachumaniac, deaths in your close-family, lack of clothing, loss of hair and/or libido upon lodging your dissatisfaction.

In conclusion, please leave your message after the beep with our resident phone operator, Sephiroth Hojo-Crescent.

Remember, I am like a bus, and people pay to ride me.

BEEP!

I'd say something witty, but wit sounds like twit, so I ultimately would be sounding really quite 'twitty'.

I like kitties.

Parings/Things/Fandoms that Ninetails is kinda geeky for:

(Which means they'll probably appear in fan-fic!

But anything goes, really. She's kinda a whore.)

FFVII: Barret/Tifa, Vincent/Reeve, Sephiroth/Cloud, Barret/Cloud/Tifa, Zack/Aerith, Tifa/Aerith, Cid/Vincent, Sephiroth/Genesis/Angeal, Azul/Rosso, Mad Awesome Deep-Ground Soldier characters in general. Illogical crackery is Weiss/Cloud, Angeal/Cloud, Post-DoC Genesis/Cloud and Rosso/Sephiroth. Yuffie Kisaragi also needs to rule the world. Also thinks random two-bit Deep Ground Soldier Argent needs the world of lovin'.

FFVIII: Seifer/Squall, Laguna/Squall (sob), Quistis/Squall.

FFX: Tidus/Yuna, Paine/Rikku.

FFXII: Sexy blonde pile-ups + Fran, Vayne/Larsa.

KH: Sephiroth/Cloud, Leon/Seifer, Riku/Sora, Kairi Being Awesome, Leon Getting Laid, Tifa/Sephiroth/Cloud interaction. Sephiroth/Leon is bad crack, but in a good way.

Hellsing: Alucard/Walter, Alucard/Integra, Seras Plotting World Domination.

Naruto: Sasuke/Naruto, Jiraiya/Orochimaru, Jiraiya/Tsunada/Orochimaru, Kakashi/Yamato, Sakura smacking bitches up.

DC-Animated Timm-Verse: Batman/Superman, Bruce/Terry (bad touch, right there).

Men in Black: Kay/Jay. (It's out there somewhere, right?)

Gankutsuou – The Count of Monte Cristo: Count/Albert.

Ghost in the Shell: Batou/Major, Batou/Togusa.

Transformers (various): Megatron/Optimus Prime (all), Megatron/Ultra Magnus (TFA), Lockdown/Prowl (TFA).

Treasure Planet: Amelia/Doppler, Silver/Jim.

2008 Update: Account revamped, so over ten older pieces of fan-fictions were deleted. A vague attempt at quality control, but there's still a lot of rubbish left!

Kingdom Hearts Fan-Fiction (WIPS):

Trine:
With Cloud's abrupt disappearance, Tifa and Sephiroth must put aside their differences to find the one thing that links them together.

Untitled:
Cloud discovers why nobody else remembers the existence of Sephiroth before the fall of Radiant Garden. Cloud wants to keep Sephiroth. Sephiroth just wants to be free.

Override and Delete:
Sora, Riku, Kairi and two stragglers return to Twilight Town to discover if there is life after adventure, and more importantly, how does one truly become whole. (Sephiroth/Cloud.)

Perpetual Motion:
The residents of the Hollow Bastion are now shadows of their former selves because of the day Radiant Garden dulled to darkness.

Final Fantasy VII Fan-Fiction (WIPS):

The Wooden Doll Waltz:
Tifa Lockhart tries to hold herself together whilst wondering where Kadaj ends and Sephiroth begins, why Cloud avoids his memories, and what is the true nature of forgiveness. Alt. AC+DoC, various pairings.

Untitled:
The two puppets try to cut their threads and set about choreographing their own dance. Post DoC, Weiss/Cloud.

Untitled:
Sephiroth can't help wonder if he's finally been bested. Pre. CC/AU, Sephiroth/Rosso.

Untitled:
Reeve's terrified he'll leave again, and will do anything to get him to stay. Post DoC, Vincent/Reeve.

The Prince and His Pauper:
She's the oddest girl Zack's ever met, and he kinda sorta really thinks he's really in love with her. Zack/Aerith.

Untitled:
The saying goes that with age comes wisdom. Cid/Vincent/Reeve.

Final Fantasy VII/Kingdom Hearts Crossover:

Untitled (Multi-Chapter):
When Sora sealed Kingdom Hearts, the worlds repaired themselves in more ways than one. Sora, Riku, Kairi and Leon must now embark on a journey to find the missing residents of Radiant Garden, and prepare to fight against what truly resides in the dark. (FFVII crossover.)