Author has written 4 stories for Hetalia - Axis Powers, Doctor Who, and Misc. Anime/Manga.
Name: SajinTMM that's all ya' get Age: alive THE STORY OF JACK SCHITT Jack: It's pronounced "shit", don't get it wrong. Who is Jack Schitt, you ask? The lineage is finally revealed! Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation! Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deep Schit married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherloc, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then know as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the "Schitt-Happens" wedding. The children of the Schitt-Happens are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left the home to tour the world, and recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!", you can correct them. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you love irratating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile. Fun Stuff to do In an elevator: 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird. Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door. Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it. I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun. Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it." The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train 15 things to do at Walmart 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 4 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8 Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!... Take me with you!!" 13 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 14 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15 Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" whats cuter than a psycho murderous bunny in a big tank shooting cannon balls at u? nothing. thats what ...(o.o) .../""""""""""""\===░ ▒▓▓█D -~•~㊅ fear the bunny. fear him... On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what? Outer space?) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a childhood dream. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying "D*n ... we f*ed up ... but that s*t was fun!" FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!" FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "B*h, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk s*t to the person who talks s*t about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the f*k out! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! I escaped in the laundry cart from the mental institution. It smelled bad, but I did it! Special thanks to the penguins, couldn't have done it without you. If you've wished Zombies'd attack your school just for fun copy/paste on your profile
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