Author has written 27 stories for Glee, Yu-Gi-Oh, Merlin, Doctor Who, Hetalia - Axis Powers, Black Magician Trilogy, Of Mice and Men, Woman in Black, Susan Hill, Harry Potter, Misc. Tv Shows, Catcher in the Rye, Yu-Gi-Oh GX, Death Note, and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.
I just lost The Game, and now you did too!!!
Okay, I've just made a pretty significant discovery- my computer actually lets me upload fanfics. That's very important, as that means I can upload/update from home as well as from school. Meaning- hopefully- more regular uploads and updates! Hooray! Off to write more fanfiction...
I've recently planned my own original series entitled The Twisted Halo Series, which you can all find at some point on my fictionpress account under the same penname I have here. Anyone simply interested in what it's about- and the rest of my original novels too- can look at my fictionpress profile. (8/10/12- I've heavily edited this series, so descriptions on fictionpress will be outdated until I find the time to edit them too. But just to let you know, the series is a lot better now that I've edited it!)
I have a blog on Blogger and I have a Mibba account. (If anyone cares.)
I should warn people, I'm a massive yaoi/slash fan. Many of my fanfics will feature it, so if you're homophobic or simply uncomfortable when faced with pages of boys kissing, stay away from my romance fics. I'd also advise you to steer clear of my fictionpress account, as ALL of my novels feature gay couples. One even has a little femslash, which I'm not normally too comfortable with, but I'm trying to broaden my tastes, even if I never write anything explicit.
I am an Atheist, to a point. I refuse to believe in and Gods, supreme beings, Jesus, Heaven or Hell. But I do believe in angels, ghosts and some form of after life. You can say what you like about my beliefs, because I don't care. Everyone has their beliefs, and I respect that. Even if I don't believe in them, I know other people do.
Couples I Ship In Fanfiction:
The Doctor/The Master- Doctor Who
Marik/Yami Bakura- YGO
Novak/Roger- Tennis/real life
Matt/Mello- Death Note
Some Quotes I Love:
Sophie: "Was Hitler German?"
Molly: "If you had toxic super powers, you wouldn't use them to beat up a sandwich."
Unknown: "Smile, and the world smiles back."
The Doctor: "Because your thick. Mr Thick- Thickitty Thickface, from Thicktown, Thickania. And so's your dad."- Doctor Who
Nick: "A humourless, doe faced fascist?"
Zoey: "I didn't know you'd read it!" - Casualty.
Molly: "Holy Pritt stick!"
Bella: "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."- Eclipse.
Michael Jackson: "I could be Agent Em!"- Men In Black II.
Ash: "Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions?"- Daughters Of Darkness
Patch: "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."- Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Amy: "May the 4th, 'cuz then you can say May the fourth be with you!"- Philosophy Club.
Claire: "Death to Miss Grieves!"- History Club.
Me: "What? No! Return of the thicko!"
Geography teacher: "I just think its a cool way to get the word willy into a geography lesson. But that's the Australians for you."
Molly: "What's that coming over the hill? It is a monster, is it a monster? No! It's Hurricane Bob, Hurricane Bob!"
Me: "Um, um- Hitler's middle name was Elizabeth?"
History teacher: "Emeline, I did tell you those facts were made up."
Molly: "Um, shire, shirt, shitty- um I mean shirty!"
History teacher: "So what did Hitler do then?"
Claire: "He showed the world he had balls!"
History teacher: "Yes Claire, Hitler showed the world he had balls."
Me: "But how can there be a group of loners? They wouldn't be loners any more."
Me: "But... it's not really a song is it if it's only eight seconds long, is it?"
Molly: "Four score and seven years ago... Albert Einstein almost took over the world!"
Molly: "You could have gotten died!"
Me: "Now, I don't get why that shop is called Open Door but has the door closed."
Teacher: "Now, sit down quickly because you have an assessment today."
Emily W: "WHAT?!"
Science teacher: "Chennine!"
Chennine: "Um, well... its in the book!"
Science teacher: "Penicillin was not created by a man called Mr. Penicillin."
Subeyda: "What about Paracetamol?"
Science teacher: "Oh, there was a Mr. Paracetamol."
Subeyda: "Really?! Oh, wow! I knew it!"
Demi: "...He's joking, Subeyda."
Science teacher: "They are exactly the same, except..."
(Looks at Demi, who isn't listening.)
Demi: Oh, H20!
Science teacher: No, but close. They're in a different order.
Science teacher: And this is... (Draws something on the board.)
Ellie: A baby tree!
Dad: Is there any chance of being able to listen to the telly?
Molly: Not really, no.
Dad: Well, there is no chance is there?
Molly: That's what I said.
Science Teacher: How many cells is your body made up of?
Science Teacher: One hundred trillion.
Lucy: Ms, what's A?
French Teacher: A doctor, I think.
Lucy: Oh, I thought it was Hitler!
Molly: Molly pow- shit ow!
Molly: I forgot to blink and my eye started to dry out.
Me: How can you forget to blink?!
Molly: (Eyes closed) I'll never forget to blink now!
Me: You'll just keep your eyes closed all the time?
Molly: Get off my ceiling! Ew, I think it pooed in my eye! (Dust particles. They will poo in your eyes, apparently.)
Maria: Emeline, you know question one, when did world war two start?
Maria: Chennine's just put Monday!
French Teacher: Eve, pick someone.
Chelsea: Not me, not me!
Eve: Um, Chelsea?
Chelsea: Oh, Eve!
Chelsea: Now I have to read mine out!
Eve: Oh, sorry! I didn't know!
TWO MINUTES LATER
French Teacher: Emeline, pick someone.
Chelsea: Pick Eve, pick Eve!
Me: Um, Eve.
Chelsea: Ha ha!
Claire: Computers love me, I turn them on.
Emily W: Is that why you're so good at ICT?
Claire: We're gonna be in here, I know.
Me: But what if you're wrong?
Claire: I'm never wrong.
ONE MINUTE LATER
Tech Teacher: (In a different room) Okay class, in here please!
Maria: Lol, Claire! You're wrong!
Me: The day has arrived!
Me: But I can actually imagine Voldemort saying that!
Molly: What if he was sucking on a lollipop with his arse hanging out? Then I can't imagine him saying that.
Me: Why would Voldemort be doing that anyway?!
Claire: Yorkshire, I think.
History Teacher: Very good, Claire. And what about Henry the seventh?
Katie M: SCOTLAND!!!
History Teacher: No, Lancashire.
Katie M: I was close!
Claire: (Strong Irish accent) If you like it then you should have out a rrring on it!
Katie M: Was he fat?
Claire: How does that matter?!
Katie M: Because I can just imagine a fat Chinese man sitting in a chair with a little beard on his chin...
PE Teacher: Just in!
Claire: Bieber! See what I did there? Just in Bieber, Justin Bieber? Lol...
Me: The teddies don't respect you anymore Molly. In fact I don't think they even did.
Me: Noone's on price comparison sites anymore. It makes the comparison sites feel neglected.
Me: Well, I take offence, so I put my curse on you!
FIVE MINUTES LATER
Molly: I can't open it!
Me: That's part of the curse! Wow, I didn't think it would really work!
Me: Whenever you say Caius now I get a mental image on John Lennon!
Molly: John Lentil!
Me: Imagine if John Lentil started a band called The Grasshoppers!
Chelsea: You know that advert, "Could you be Justin Bieber's girlfriend?"?
Chelsea: I thought it said "Could Justin Bieber be your girlfriend?"!
Molly: Is dictionary a real word? (Apparently, she was thinking of the word Pictionary. Yeah right...)
Geography Teacher: Okay, last question- where does Mr D(him!) live? Just the number, not the street!
Chennine: Um, 13?
Me: Okay. (Writes down 13.)
Mr D: And the answer is... 13!
Me and Chennine: YES!!!!!!! (Class stares at us.)
Evie: I love Loren's chlamydia!
Loren: My chlamydia is special!
Evie: Loren's chlamydia makes me Jesus!
Loren: Which makes me God, because God made Jesus! Wait... where's Mary?
Me: If something happened to God, who would be God instead?
Me: Oh. (All work again.)
TWO MINUTES LATER:
Me: What if something happened to Jesus too?
Chelsea: Then I'd be God!
Me: Hey, then I can say that I personally know God!
Teacher: Say you wanted to put my Dad is crazy. Crazy could be cheese, it could be anything.
Mo: My Dad is cheese!
Evie: Sir, did the Ancient Greeks get hungover?
Teacher: That's nothing to do with what we're learning.
Evie: Yes, but I mean it intellectually! Did Ancient Greeks get hungover?
Teacher: Yes, I imagine they did...
Eden & Chantelle: Just the way you are!
Shannon: What's this red stuff? Oh yes, my ears are bleeding!
Shannon: (Points to sheep.) Eden, its your family!
FIVE HOURS LATER:
Shannon: (Points to more sheep.) Eden, its your family!
Eden: Shannon? It was funny the first time, babes.
Teacher: So... say you're chicken was dead...
Evie: What is it with History teachers and cookies?!
Teacher: Evie, you are not a Renaissance doctor. If you are, then you look very good for your age.
Megan: She's a Timelord!
Lucy: Who's a Timelord?
Evie: I am! The more attractive version of Doctor Who!
Teacher: Are you texting? (Student doesn't respond) I hope you're texting.
Teacher: Well, it's a lot more preferable than the other thing you could be doing... (She had her phone in her lap.)
Now a few lovely YGOTAS quotations...
Florence: Nothing you can do will ever make me sing!
Marik: What if I gave you a dollar?
Marik: Two dollars?
Marik: What if I made you president of the Evil Council?
Marik: What if I made you president of the world?
Marik: What if I stopped calling you Fluffy?
Marik: What if I gave you my Millennium Rod?
Marik: What if I killed Yugi?
Florence: Tempting, but no.
Marik: What if I told you I love you?
Seto: Screw the rules, I have money!
Seto: Screw the money, I have rules! Wait... Let me try that again...
Kemo: Attention duelists! My hair is now an internet phenomenon!
Yami Yugi: Die, milkshake, die! That's right! You have been defeated! Now you go to milkshake prison!
Jaden: My hair looks nothing like a kuriboh!
Yami: I think you'll find it does.
Jaden: Does not!
Yami: Does too.
Jaden: Does not!
Yami: Does too times ten!
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10.">> > Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
The Review Revolution...
Even if the fic has 10,002,464 reviews already...
Even if the fic is older than time itself...
Even if it was abandoned a loooooooooooooooooooooong time ago...
Even if the author turned out to be a total psychopath...
Even if the OC is a Sue and the spelling would make a dictionary cry...
I will review every fic I read. What goes around comes around, and more people will review my own fics. I have joined Review Revolution.
You know you are obsessed and consumed by The Big Bang Theory when…
You play “Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock” to resolve disputes.
You do three knock cadences when summoning someone.
You know all the words to “Soft Kitty.”
You have sung the aforementioned song as a round.
You shout “We built the pyramids!” during the theme song.
You know that Tweedy Bird really “taht he taw a Romulen.”
Your comeback to bullying is “a homo habilis discovering its opposable thumbs says what?”
You label everything in the house, including the label maker.
You know Nebraska is “better than North Dakota,” although it’s only funny in Nebraska, or at least not in California…
You know the full names of Leonard, Sheldon, and Raj.
You do Sheldon’s creepy smile when you know it’s polite to look happy.
You know that when you understand the laws of physics that anything is possible. (Mua ha ha)
You can recite one or more of Sheldon’s “typical psychotic rants.”
You bug your eyes out and say “I’m CRAZY!”
Someone requests an application and you state that you are more of a theorist.
You ask people that if they were a robot and you knew and they didn’t, whether or not they’d want you to tell them.
You know exactly WHY Wolowitz bailed out of Med School.
You know that autotrophs don’t drool, but you love the theme song anyway.
You watch Star Wars, you say, “We defeated the empire!”
You chant “B to the R to the I-S-K to the E to the T…”
You compare your boyfriend to Ernie from “Sesame Street,” because “Ernie just gave.”
You announce in a loud voice that you have to urinate.
You know the difference between the Doppler Effect and “A brain-damaged choo choo train.”
You interpret hugs based on the length in “Mississippis.”
Your friend is contemplating moving, and you remind them that they have to stay in one place in case the Mother Ship returns.
Corduroy suits suddenly don’t seem so bad.
You know that negative results are still results-even twenty thousand of them.
You call your collection of nerdy belongings “Nerdvana.”
You want luminous fish.
Unimpressed by the ‘performance’ of a significant other, you flatly refer to them as “you magnificent beast.”
You use Schrödinger’s cat as metaphors for relationships.
You know that whispering “do not make a sound,” is a sound.
You shout “Bazinga!” when celebrating the tricking of someone.
You’re in a good mood and inform others of this by saying that, in the world of emoticons, you are colon capital D.
You say that surprise caused people to go colon capital O.
You play the element game with your friends in the car.
You can’t master something and claim it’s because you’re too evolved.
You’ll buy things because “the man on the box looks so happy!”
You have a sarcasm sign.
You compare platonic relationships to “individually wrapped slices of cheese.”
You live in fear of the three-tined fork.
You know that “It was just a hug,” means, “It means I wish you weren’t going.” Duh, right?
You know you can call “dibs” because you can look it up on Wikipedia.
You have a board.
You think that there should be a “check the check engine light light” in a car.
You try to blow up someone’s head with your mind.
You tell people that you’ve “got your geek on.”
You know that ANYTHING beats, “you know I’m a dude,” right?
You know all the words to the theme song.
You have an Honorary Justice League of America membership card because it says “keep this on your person at all times,” under Batman’s signature.
You use “AFK” as a busy status on the computer.
You know that Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts and NOT the scientist.
You weave “Un-unwravelable” webs while lying.
You play “Mock the Flawed Technology” with a cell phone.
In restaurants, you don’t allow “substitutions, eliminations,” or “reductions.”
You know the advantages of buying in bulk.
You’d pick the museum of natural history over the planetarium because they have dinosaurs.
You reference Star Trek battle scenes as a means of explaining yourself.
You can name seven guys Penny has been with.
You know that someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah “cuz I sold my soul to the company store.”
You tell someone, in Mandarin, that their monkey sleeps inside you.
You know it’s a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable and a lot wrong to say it’s a suspension bridge.
You refer to things as “a hoot and a half.”
Someone suggests something preposterous and you agree to it, suggesting afterwards to go pilin’ in a pickup and go skinny dipping down at the crick.
You look for the acoustic sweet spot in a movie theater.
You know that what happens in costume at Comic Con stays at Comic Con!
You have a tie that works as two, and yet doesn’t even work as one.
You know that EVERYTHING is better with Bluetooth.
Something startles you and you say “oh, there’s the arrhythmia!”
You have a friendship algorithm.
Someone respects one of your idiosyncrasies and you offer them chocolate.
You inform people you are hitting on what your race invented, adding, “You’re welcome.” You imitate Admiral Akbar saying “It’s a trap!”
Someone you know storms away and you respond by sticking up your pinkie and saying “sisters?”
You know that nothing is interesting about caves.
You tell brave friends that minstrels will write songs about them, taking the part of the minstrel.
You say “hola, nerdmigos!”
You laugh at the same things over and over again.
You have the picture of the LOL Cat that wants to “Haz Cheezeburger.”
Your excuse for getting teased about a nerdy possession is “it’s a lot cooler when girls aren’t looking at it.”
You refuse to cut open a dumpling.
You name your cat Sergeant Fuzzy Boots.
You understand why one can’t wear a warrior flight suit on Halloween.
You can no longer read “The Little Engine That Could.”
Your alternative name for sex is “hyna klyna bang-bang music!”
You get more nervous tics than a Lyme disease research facility when keeping a secret.
You know that the check engine light being on means that you should…you know…check your engine!
You understand that for someone to miss you, you have to be gone.
You like smiley faces carved into your grilled cheese.
You diagnose Tourettes Syndrome when someone randomly swears.
You know that forks are for eating, and tridents are for ruling the seven seas.
You really want a Snuggie, so you can get “all snoodled up.”
After greeting your parents, you say, “I’m not drunk,” afterwards explaining that you are just making conversation.
You say, “Holy crap on a cracker!”
You start ordering your barbecue bacon cheeseburger with “barbecue, bacon, and cheese on the side.”
You have a favorite place to “kick back after a quest.”
You call your boyfriend your little homunculus.
You instruct people you are feuding with to kiss your Barbie.
You want to be a rabbit king.
After making a date with someone, you inform them that you’ll get your chisel, to carve the…never mind.
You are suddenly afraid of every shower without adhesive ducks.
You add “bam!” to the end of every sentence.
You try to make corn starch and water dance on a stereo.
You say “shmear me.”
You know that love is a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms or hits you with the pepper spray.
You know the difference between “centrifugal” and “centripetal” force.
You hear “manganese” and laugh to yourself.
You realize it’s a good point that many villains have advanced degrees, and feel graduate school should step it up.
You celebrate “Anything Can Happen Thursday.”
You hear someone say “PMS” or “AA,” and think of the Perpetual Motion Squad and the Army Ants.
You end all voice messages with, “It’s Howard.”
You know that “friends do not get their friends care bears all sweaty.”
Your response to people questioning your behavior is “it’s an experiment.”
You tell people that they need to picture you with a giant squid head.
You inform people that it is “Junior Rodeo On!”
You have a new and creepy way of comforting people who are injured and/or scared.
You sort your cereal by fiber content.
A Mexican Hairless is mentioned and you say, “annoying little animal; yip yip yip!”
You know the name of every episode…
You order Virgin Diet Cuba Libres at bars.
You know you’re not insane because your mother had you tested.
You love a couple so much you will fight to the death for them.
You HAVE a “you know you’re obsessed when” article.
You can be persuaded by Spock’s Dying Words.
You say that a relationship that ended badly “crashed to the ground like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.”
You explain that the seat beside you is taken by “my physics bowl trophy!”
You can think of some really nasty pranks to play on people you loathe in your workplace.
You can name at least five nicknames for Sheldon.
You call yourself or a particularly spontaneous acquaintance, “a big ol’ five.”
You know how the title is relevant to the episode.
You can guess the content of the episode in advance, based solely on the title.
You don’t want Sheldon to ever-ever, get a girlfriend.
You know how many days it is to the next new episode (even over a summer).
You suggest people make friends by simply being pleasant.
You do a high pitched “he he he he he he!” when trying to be intimidating.
You use lines from the show in casual conversation.
You have a bowl for your keys.
You hold out the word “bowl” when discussing your bowl for keys.
You know that in Nebraska people only shoot things if they want to eat them or make them leave their boyfriends alone.
You award “strikes” to your friends for breaking unwritten “rules” in your home.
You want Sheldon’s contraption that folds laundry.
You try to smash a flash frozen banana.
You call yourself “the small package good things come in” when trying to pick up girls.
You disguise your voice over the phone and ask people why they are calling at such an “ungodly” hour.
You get a new friend and start chanting “one of us, one of us…”
You make sure your temporary bed is oriented with the headboard away from the door.
Someone asks who you are and you say, “I am Sheldon’s cousin Leo…”
You suddenly are proud of your restraining orders.
A friend tells someone that they are dead to them, and you go on to explain exactly what that means.
The first thing you share with people about yourself is your Zodiac sign.
After listening to a painful melody, say with a lot of emotion, “God, that’s a good song!”
You won’t have anyone touch your food.
You look up the definition of “quantum mechanics” because it’s referenced so much.
You have a special “spot” you always must sit in.
You will never forget “Higgs Boson Particle.”
You want “the bleep” to be replaced by a boing! And an atom picture…
And when you don’t need any more explanation on the previous statement.
You change “lobster” to “mobster.”
You cheered when Penny completed the Sheldon’s Spot Rant without error.
You say, in the voice of the Incredible Hulk “Good-night, Puny Human!”
You tell people you are arguing with that “you and I are about to have a problem.”
You are asked to tell a secret and reply “I’m Batman! Shhh!”
You really want Raj’s shirt that plays music.
You have a baseball bat handy, so if someone breaks in you can go “all Nebraska on them”!
You tell yourself that you are the master of your own bladder.
You already knew that Sheldon and Penny were friends and so were not surprised when she was not the “acquaintance.”
You aren’t sure of an answer and so guess “Star Wars”?
You know that Sheldon didn’t invent the 26 dimensions-they’re there!
You know that Stan Lee is not Bruce Lee’s brother.
You want to know how to shoot so close to a raccoon that it craps itself.
You want a Joker ringtone even though it creeps both Penny and Leonard out.
You want Cylon toast.
You know that the three most menial jobs are tollbooth attendant, Apple store genius, and what Penny does.
You want to go to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn.
You make an Big Bang Theory themed Easter Egg.
You look at a friend and say slowly “Schnapps.”
You give someone the “moving finger.”
You know that if “it doesn’t feel like an arm,” then “maybe you should let it go"
How To Be Normal
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4. Take note of 18 first.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all!
13.For legal purposes be sure to delete/eat/burn above note. (Do not do these things to computer though)
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes. Unless they are mad.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever inhumanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends. Especially if they are from Itex.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket and sunglasses.
21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best for drowning in; Try lemonade.
22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. Pyromania rules.
23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24.Always remember, um... um... Damn. Something.
25.Train army of flying monkeys, or kidnap the flock.
26.Goldfish don't like milk. Cats like both.
27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28.Find out who invented the word "antidisestablishmentarianism".
29.People are staring at you.
30.So act crazy.
31.Lies are weird, but not as weird as the truth. Which can be found at the bottom of a duck pond.
32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth. Very sharp. Oww... nasty teeth, baaaaaaaad...
33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people. NOT!! Become friends with all little people you meet.
34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible.
35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36.Never pet a burning dog. Never burn a petting dog. Or do both.
37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38.Naked men dig parkas.
39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40.You know what would look good on you?
42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless blob.
43.The size of Danny DeVito. Plus fangs.
44.Make an amusing facial expression. Like this: O.o
45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46.Stalking is fun. Do it more. Take a camera.
47.Make a large sign saying, "Bow down in awe of the Holy Winged Splodge". Count how many weird looks you get.
48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49.That way is a sugar high. Alternatively, eat cheese. Then go to sleep
50. Double espressos are good. Apart from when you need to sleep. Then they are bad.
52.You cannot kill the snow.
53.The snow can kill you.
54.Grass can also kill you. Fear the green.
55.The policeman said I can't have his gun... so I bought one and he took it away...
56.Catch person who sold me gun and get a refund. Or kill them. Whichever is better fun.
57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60.You are not a vampire, werewolf, empress, god or anything like that.
61.Pretend to be so around people.
62.Do not go out with Voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65.Remember to kill HIM...
66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions.
71.Eat the evidence.
72.But not if it's broken glass.
73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run
74.Do not tell children that the flying spaghetti monster is out to get them with his friend; the flying mutant cheese blob.
75.Disregard last note.
77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78.Stock up on ball point pens.
79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81.Do not stick fingers into blender.
82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83.Blood loss is bad.
84.Find way to re-attach fingers.
85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86.Answer every question with a question.
87.Ask people what time they are from.
89.Refer to people as "mortal".
90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.
95.Brutally. By force-feeding them baked beans.
96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. So give them a copy of your death notes book.
97.Dunk head in boiling water.
98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!
100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...