Author has written 6 stories for Hannah Montana, iCarly, Victorious, and Phineas and Ferb.
My Twitter and Tumblr name is @shenerdist. Follow me!
The sorting hat says that I belong in Ravenclaw!
Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose intelligence is surest." and "Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure"
Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable.
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: ... you'll laugh your socks off:P
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's tasteless, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
21) I am not authorised to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."
25) I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see who will come out alive
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."
29) I will not tell Draco to “Make like a ferret and bounce”
30) It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin ‘Once you go black you never go back’
31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
33) I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new pussy cat?”
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."
37) I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of lessons and claim someone put the imperious cure on me.
38) I will not tell Ron and Hermione to ‘get a room’ whenever they start fighting
39) I will not tell Severus Snape he takes himself too seriously. Same applied for Minerva McGonagall.
40) Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying the library is closed for an indefinite time period funny in any sense. Nor does Hermione Granger.
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
43) I will not lick Trevor.
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
46) I will not refer to Lucius Malfoy as a pimp - even if he does carry a pimp cane
47) I am no longer allowed to use the words ‘pimp cane’ in front of Draco Malfoy
48) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
51) I will not tell the first years to build a treehouse in the Whomping Willow.
52) I will not tell Filch that Peeves has left. It is cruel to get his hopes up like that.
53) I am not allowed to skip through the hallways singing the "Wizards of Waverly Place" theme song.
54) I am not allowed to attack the new Head Boy with water ballons.
55) I am not allowed to change the Slytherin common room to red and gold.
56) I am not allowed to tell the Revenclaws and/or Hermione Granger that the libray has been closed down.
57) I am not allowed to tell Lockheart that his fanclub is waiting in the Whomping Willow.
Ravenclaw (The smartest house with the only ones who don't blow themselves up) Gotten from Lunaclaw14's profile:
Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.
1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.
2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.
3. I can kill you with my brain.
4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.
5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).
6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.
7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book. (Get it, their smart and they know every insult in the book!)
8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.
9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated. (Seriously over-educated.)
10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.
11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just dumb.
I Barbara, solemnly swear to review every fic I read, no matter how old, young, stupid, lovely, amazing, retarded, or horribly written it is.
In Remembrance to Severus Snape,
A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor,
In Remembrance to Fred Weasley,
Who fought bravely to the very end,
And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half,
And will loyally await his soul mate and brother,
With many jokes,
He's got forever to think of them, right?
In Remembrance to Dobby,
Who was more free and full of love,
Than any elf, and most humans.
In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin,
The last real Marauder,
Who was not just a wonderful father,
An incredible husband and a brave hero,
As well as an awesome warewolf,
In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks,
Who died for the greater good,
And would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora,
In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody,
Who's motto 'Constance Vigilance' kept him alive,
In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort,
Who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger,
But who got his ass kicked thoroughly in the end,
In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore,
Whose past and wisdom confused us,
Whose seeming betrayal shocked us,
But who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end,
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange,
Because it was awesome how Molly Weasley got her with the Avada Kedavra,
She deserved everything she got in the end,
In Remembrance to Colin Creevey,
Who we really didn't know too well,
But took a lot of pictures and died fighting in the war,
So he must've done something good...
Besides stalking Harry,
In Remembrance to Hedwig,
Harry's first real friend,
Who lived and died soaring.
Sure fire ways to know you’re obsessed with Harry Potter:
Courtesy of A Scarlet Rebel
1) There is at least one Harry Potter poster somewhere in your house
2) Hedwig’s Theme is the #1 most listened to song on your iPod
3) People who wear circular black glasses catch your attention
4) You own all of the books
5) You own all of the movies
6) You own all (or most) of the video games, even if you don’t play video games
7) When you look onto your computer screen, there’s Luna with her Spectrespecs on, staring back at you
8) You tend to daydream with the characters, in adventures where you’re a Hogwarts student
9) You one day dream of marrying Neville Longbottom, or any of the other Harry Potter guys or girls
10) You once stayed up until 4:00 in the morning trying to finish a part in one of the books, and eventually fell asleep with your book
11) You have fallen asleep reading your Harry Potter book to all hours of the night more than once
12) You nearly pass out if you see a tear in one of your books, even if you do need a microscope to see it
13) You have taken a Harry Potter Sorting Quiz just to see who would be your friends at Hogwarts
14) You have taken various Harry Potter Sorting Quizzes, refusing to believe you’re a Hufflepuff
15) People with messy black hair and green eyes catch your attention, too
16) Every time you see a toad, you think, ‘Trevor!’
17) You tend to look at people and make comparisons to characters in the books because of their appearance
18) You have nicknamed at least one of your teachers Snape, to yourself, because of how much hate boils inside of you at the sight of them
19) You turn your Harry Potter fantasies into Fanfictions!
20) When you watch sports you think of Quiddicth
21) When you get dressed, you think, ‘Hey, this looks like something Ginny would wear!’
22) You have, at least once, come running into the streets shouting ‘Save the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!’
23) You immediately dislike anyone who says Harry Potter books stink
24) You life-long goal is to get J.K. Rowling’s autograph, even if you have to cross vast deserts for it
25) Every time you see a cat, you stop to see if it has squares around its eyes that look like spectacles
26) You refer to doctors as Healers
27) Every time you see plants you think of Neville
28) You tend to run and scream for your life every time you see a bald guy who looks suspiciously like Voldemort (Yes, Tom Riddle himself!)
29) You wonder if your dentists are Hermione’s parents
30) When you see a dying plant, you think, ‘Neville would be ashamed!’
31) You yell at the movie screen because they left out one of your favorite parts in the books
32) You get upset when they change things in the movies
33) You stare at all dogs closely, hoping its Sirius Black in disguise
34) You secretly hope and think you are a wizard and will receive a letter from Hogwarts any day now
35) When you can’t find things, you find yourself pointing an imaginary wand at the spot where you think it is and say, ‘Accio Book!’
36) You wish that your school bus would one day take you to Hogwarts
36) When someone gets on your nerves, you find yourself muttering under your breath, ‘Avada Kedavra.’
37) The last name Potter catches your attention
38) You find yourself striking up a conversation with someone who you barely talk to just because they’re reading a Harry Potter book
39) You automatically correct people when they misquote the movies or books
40) You find yourself begging your family to give the series a chance and watch the movies if they’re too lazy or ‘too busy’ to read the books
41) After one of the movies end, and your family is begging for you to tell them what happens next, you tell them your lips are sealed and they’ll never find out unless they read the books or wait for the next movie to come out in a year and a half
42) You plan to start a Potter fan army!!
43) Every time you see an owl, you look for a letter or package it might be carrying with it
44) When you’re the only one in your house, you find yourself riding around on a sweeping broom screaming, ’10 points for Gryffindor! Take that Slytherins!’
Copy and paste this onto your profile if you’re Potter Obsessed!
Famous and Funny Quotes by Famous People! (A-Z & everything in between)
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
"I am a real ham. I love an audience. I work better with an audience. I am dead, in fact, without one."
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
"I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business."
"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something."
"I will try to write books until I drop dead."
"And I particularly like the whole thing of being boss. Boss and employee... It's the slave quality that I find very alluring."
"Great liars are also great magicians."
"Because when they strike it can be that quick that if they're within range, you're dead, you're dead in your tracks. And his head weighs more than my body so it's WHACK!"
"I just wish I could understand my father."
"It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision."
"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."
"I'm just looking for that moment to drop my Jedi knickers and pull out my real light saber."
"I am not a crook."
"But you see, I have played more good guys than I have played villains."
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
"It is fitting that a liar should be a man of good memory."
"A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at?"
"Failure is not an option. Everyone has to succeed."
"All right, then, I'll go to hell."
"I like going to France, because no one knows who I am."
"Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud."
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it."
"A king should die on his feet."
"Silence may be golden, but can you think of a better way to entertain someone than to listen to him?"
"Every obnoxious act is a cry for help."
I'm ugly and I'm proud! I'm ugly and I'm proud! I'm ugly and I'm proud!
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