Poll: Just curious, do any of you Saint Beast fans out there actually want to see a Lucifer centric fic? Vote Now!
Author has written 15 stories for Saint Beast/セイント・ビースト, Gravitation, Yami no Matsuei, Night Head Genesis/ナイトヘッドジェネシス, Gakuen Heaven, 07-Ghost, and Zombie-Loan.
PLEASE READ!!!!!: Ok, so I know that those of you who read my fics and have fics that you want me to beta are probably wondering why the hell I haven't been active in so long. Well, the honest to goodness truth is, life has just been royally kicking my ass. I promise you all though, that I am not done here and I will NOT leave any of my fics unfinished (and yes, that includes the ones that haven't been updated in over a year). Don't expect updates from me regularly, but you can expect that they will come, no matter how long it takes me. I apologize if my lack of activity inconveniences or upsets any of my readers/friends on here, but this is the best I can do right now. Sorry. :(
Hello Peoples! My name is Kuro Neko Shoujo (that's Black Cat Girl, for those of you who speak even less Japanese than I do), but my friends (and some of my "not-friends") call me Neko-chan! In case you couldn't tell by the name, I am a complete and utter anime addict who loves all things Japanese! I'm sooo excited to FINALLY have my own fanfic account, so for those of you who care, here are some completely random funfacts about me!
Names: Neko-chan, Tsuki-chan, Yami, Rayne, the Lizard (long story...)
Gender: female (in case the name Black Cat Girl didn't give it away)
Age: Now, now, you should NEVER ask a lady her age, so let's just say it's somewhere between 1 and 100
Occupation: Secret Hitman for the Yakuza/Mafia (Shh, don't tell...it's a secret)
Personality: Well, my best friend (a.k.a. NinthFeather) often tells me that I act like a cat (thus my name) with the exception being that cats always land on their feet, and I tend to land on everything but my feet. Yes, I am a huge klutz, and gravity is my mortal enemy (curse you, laws of physics!! T.T) I am also incredibly curious about absolutely everything (and yes, I do know what curiosity did to the cat, but hey, we're all going to die someday, and I for one would rather go doing something fun)
I have been told by many people on more than one occasion that I am incredibly stubborn. Personally, I take this as a compliment. I was also recently informed that I am a freak of nature. Again, another compliment.
I am also an incredibly protective person, especially when it comes to my friends (:cough: NinthFeather :cough:). This combined with my incredible outspoken nature and somewhat...volatile personality has led to many a messy situation. But hey, I'm not dead yet, so we're all good!
I like to believe that there is a little bit of good in everyone, regardless of who they are or what they've done (and no, this is not naivety on my part, nor is it optimism. It is merely my personal belief). I tend to be very blunt, but at the same time I try not to hurt people. When I trust people, I trust them without reserve, which is why it takes a long time for me to trust anyone. I am also a major adrenaline junkie, who wants to try everything from bunjie jumping to sky diving to cliff diving (now that's a good time! XD)
Oh, I also love meeting new people, so please, send me a message anytime! Whether it's about one of my stories, or something you read on my profile, or just completely and utterly random, I'd love to hear from you! :)
Also, the homepage link above is a link to my profile Gaia. Feel free to contact me or friend me! Just be sure and let me know who you are first...XD
I also have a Youtube account. Here's the link if you want to check it out:
I also share a deviantArt account with NinthFeather. I only have a few dragon sketches up right now (I'm a bit of a dragon obsessor) but NinthFeather has some awesome fanart up which you should totally check out!!
Hobbies: Reading, Sketching, Writing, Talking (I do that a LOT)
Favorite Quote: "Tis better to ask forgiveness than permission" This is my policy on life.
Favorite Colors: Green, Black and Silver
Favorite Music: Well, my musical taste is kinda all over the place (and a good portion of it isn't in English...XD)
As far as English music goes, I love 30 Seconds to Mars, Evanescence, Plumb, Nickelback, B.o.B., Paramore, Becca, Beyonce, Bon Jovi, Kansas, Cat Stevens, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, P!nk Celine Dion, Celtic Woman, Martina McBride, Kelly Clarkson, Tarja, Chris Daughtry, Cascada, Carrie Underwood, Casting Crowns, Skillet, Mark Schultz, Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift, Superchick, Mandisa
As for non-English (Japanese/Korean) music, I love Wild Vanilla, Do As Infinity, BoA, Naoki, Okina Reika, Kanon, JYJ, Kim Jaejoong, Baek Ji Young
(Oh, and I would just like to say that, while I'm sure she herself is a very nice person, I completely and utterly HATE MILEY CYRUS MUSIC WITH A BURNING FIREY PASSION!!...This concludes the Neko-chan spaz moment of the day. We now return to your regularly scheduled program)
Also, if you come near me with ANYTHING Justin Bieber, I will react violently. Just warning you.
Favorite Books: Seraphina, Hex Hall series, Mortal Instruments Series, The Infernal Devices, Maximum Ride Series, Twilight Series (Though I firmly believe vampires should NOT sparkle), The Pellinor Books, The Host, Daniel X Series, The Inheritance Cycle, The Daughters of the Moon Series, Harry Potter, The Door Within Trilogy, Wicked Lovely Series, Wake Trilogy...Honestly, I'm a complete and utter book junkie, so I'll read just about anything.
Favorite Movies: Lord of the Rings (best freakin' movies EVER!!), Alexander, Boondock Saints, The Avengers, Pirates of the Carribean, Sherlock Holmes, Anna and the King, Memoirs of a Geisha, King Arthur, Avatar, Star Trek, The Secret Life of Bees, Indiana Jones, Season of the Witch, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, The Mummy, Quest for Camelot, Phantom of the Opera, Hairspray (I have a thing for musicals...), The Princess Bride, Ever After, pretty much anything produced by Tyler Perry, and absolutely anything Tim Burton.
Favorite (Non-anime) TV Shows: Law & Order: SVU, CSI: Miami, NCIS, Criminal Minds, White Collar, In Plain Sight, Supernatural, Firefly, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Moonlight, Star Trek:Voyager, 21 Jump Street, Gargoyles, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Ghost Whisperer, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Winx Club (the original Italian, NOT the stupid English dub)
Favorite anime: Oh, there are so many...Loveless, Neo Angelique Abyss, Yami No Matsuei, Saint Beast, Sukisho, Gravitation, Gakuen Heaven, Princess Princess, Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru, Inuyasha, Sailor Moon, Rurouni Kenshin, Sakura Wars, Pretear, Kuroshitsuji, Night Head Genesis, 07 Ghost, Hakuoki: Shinsengumi Kitan, Vampire Knight, Koi Suru Tenshi Angelique, Sailor Moon, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Ouran High School Host Club, Vampire Princess Miyu, Dance in the Vampire Bund, Saiyuki, Black Blood Brothers...and that's only naming a few.
Favorite manga: Again, there are oh, so many...Loveless, Yami No Matsuei, Earthian, Gravitation, FAKE, Until the Full Moon, Legal Drug, Gorgeous Carat, Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru, Night Head Genesis, Kuroshitsuji, 07 Ghost, Tokyo Babylon, La Esperança, Godchild, Ningyou Kyuutei Gakudan, Fruits Basket, From Far Away, Millenium Snow, Kashou no Tsuki, Full Metal Alchemist, Her Majesty's Dog, Crown, Heaven's Will, Vampire Knight, Saiyuki Gaiden...the list goes on and on.
I have recently developed an obsession with anything by the mangaka Kaori Yuki, so yeah...that right there should let you know how incredibly screwed up I am...
Some of my favorite anime pairings (Mostly Shounen-ai, but some shoujo):
Saint Beast: Ruka x Rei/ Yuda x Shin/ Gou x Gai
Loveless: Soubi x Ritsuka/ Youji x Natsuo
Yami No Matsuei: Tsuzuki x Hisoka/ Tatsumi x Watari/ Muraki x Oriya
Sukisho: Sora x Sunao/ Yoru x Ran/ Shinichiro x Nanami/ Nagase x Gaku/ Soushi x Matsuri (I can't help it! I love them all!)
Earthian: Kagetsuya x Chihaya/ Raphael x Michael
Gravitation: Yuki x Shuichi/ Tetsuya x Ryuichi
Gakuen Heaven: Kazuki x Keita/ Omi x Kaoru/ Shinomiya x Iwai/ Naruse x Shunsuke/ Hiroya x Jin (Again, I love them all!!)
Cain Saga/Godchild: Riff x Cain/ Oscar x Mary Weather/ Cassian x Jizabel
Vampire Knight: Kaname x Yuki (though, in all honesty, any pairing with Kaname in it is good by me...)
Fruits Basket: Kyo x Tohru/ Yuki x Machi
Inuyasha: Inuyasha x Kagome/ Miroku x Sango
Vampire Princess Miyu: Larva x Miyu
Dance in the Vampire Bund: Akira x Mina
Hakuoki: Hijitaka x Chizuru/ Heisuke x Chizuru
Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru: Luka x Yuki/ Hotsuma x Shuusei/ Reiga x Takashiro
Sailor Moon: Kunzite x Zoicite/ Haruka x Michiru/ Mamoru x Usagi/ Rei x Yuuichirou/ Minako x Yaten/ Makoto x Seiya/ Ami x Taiki/ Helios x Chibiusa
About My Fics: Ok, so for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, I write yaoi (or slash, as it is also known). This means that most, if not all of the couples in my stories will be male/male.
I'll make this as clear as I can. You don't like/approve of what I write? Fine, don't read it. I don't care. But please, keep your flames to yourself. I love reviews. In fact, I am known by some as the review junkie. I love compliments, contructive criticism, suggestions for impovement, plot ideas/predictions, etc., but I will not tolerate flames. If you read my little personality spiel above, you know that I am a highly outspoken person with a very low tolerance for bull shit. Basically, what this means is, you piss me off, and I will not hesitate to tear you a new one. Enough said.
Pet Peeves: When people don't UPDATE THEIR FREAKIN' STORIES!! Jeez, leaving your readers hanging like that is just plain sadistic (and not in a good way). And yes, I am aware that I am a huge hypocrite. Shut up.
I also cannot stand and absolutely WILL NOT TOLERATE racists, homophobics and/or sexists (yes, I am a feminist. You no like? Tough, cuz me no care).
Whoever said that women were the weaker gender never saw me on a REALLY bad day. (Especially if you took away my chocolate. NEVER get between a woman and her chocolate...)
I am color blind. I see no black and white. I see people.
Love is love. It is precious, unending, and all too rare. Therefore, it should not be judged, whether it be between a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman.
Ok, I'm done ranting now, I promise...
Special Message!!: By the way, for all of you who've ever been to NinthFeather's profile, I would like to say that yes, this person is my close childhood friend (I'm not even going to try to spell the incredibly long Japanese word she used) and someone I care about more than anything, but everything else about me on her profile is ALL LIES!! ...Ok, so maybe some of it's true...Ok, ok, so all of it's true! But I am going to go sky diving, bunjie jumping, and cliff diving! And I will get a motorcycle and there's nothing NinthFeather can do to stop me, dammit! (Ha! Take that NinthFeather!)
Another Special Message!!: One of my AMAZINGLY AWESOME reviewers for my Saint Beast fic "Strength," decided to do me the great honor of drawing out my OC villain, Stheno!! Her name is Sky'sShadow, and she is very talented, and I'm honored that she would do this for me. Here is the address if you wish to see it! XD
And my incredibly awesome BFF NinthFeather also opted to draw Stheno for me. XD Here's her version of him:
Your result for The Sorting Hat: A Comprehensive Harry Potter Personality Assessment [Test/Quiz] ...
52% Ravenclaw, 35% Hufflepuff, 56% Slytherin and 47% Gryffindor!
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.
Slytherin's cardinal traits are ambition, cunning and determination. Like the Gryffindor House, Slytherins are emotionally volatile. In contrast, however, Slytherins are much less dominant and assertive, and less extraverted in general. Rather than expressing these emotions outwardly, Slytherins direct them inward or act in a passive aggressive manner. Both Gryffindor and Slytherin are much more driven to succeedthan the other two houses: Gryffindor out of pride and Slytherin out of ambition.
Slytherins are also much more pragmatic than the other houses and more adept at manipulating people. A key trait would be a low level of agreeableness: Slytherins are more pessimistic, more distrustful than most, and more likely to attribute negative motivations to people. So although Slytherins experience a wide range of emotions, due to their distrustful views of people and skeptical worldview, they are less expressive and more likely to appear cold or distant unless provoked.
A Slytherin's ambitious nature comes out in different ways depending on what is important to the individual person. It could lead them to try to achieve top marks (if intellect and schooling is important to them) but it could also be directed at social settings or towards athletic endeavors.
A GOOD WAY TO TELL A FRIEND FROM A BEST FRIEND
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS:Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS:Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only for a short while.
FRIENDS: Will always be like "well you deserve better".
FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
Just a little something for all you bigoted racists out there to think about...
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy and paste this on your profile if you DESPISE RACISM!!
HOMOPHOBIA IS HATE!! AND THIS IS WHAT HATE CAUSES:
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
RE-POST IF YOU BELIEVE HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG.
There aren't enough supporters! The world survives on love, yet we reject it? Spread the word!
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage
Beware, the following WILL make you cry
TWO POEMS ON CHILD ABUSE
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
Hush, little sister
I can see your arms
I know you scream
I can see the way
I know that people
Hey, little sister
You see, little sister
He screamed at me
You know, little sister
But hush, little sister
I'm sorry little sister
Uh oh little sister
Hush little sister
If you hate child abuse then repost one or both of these poems on your profile.
Ok, now something to cheer everyone up!!
THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.
4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.
5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout, "PICK ME! PICK ME!!"
11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!"
13. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"
14. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
15. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)
16. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming "Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"
17. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"
Things To Do On An Elevator:
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it... quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in "Who want to be a millionaire" style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "You should be ashamed of yourself!" and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
Some rather...interesting labels.
On a Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos!
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
On most brands of Christmas lights:
On a Japanese food processor:
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a child's superman costume:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On T-Rat (Military food):
On a set of Indian Kitchen Knives:
When You Dial A Mental Hospital
Welcome to Psychiatric World. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the phone so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
My Mother Taught Me
1. My mother taught me RELIGION.
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5 minutes later
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The following are completely random quotes that I thought were incredibly funny and incredibly true!!
The shinbone: A device used for finding furniture in a dark room.
People who say anything is possible, haven't tried to slam a revolving door
Telling people what they want to hear is often very boring (Oh, so true.)
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you
When life gives to lemons, throw them back at life and demand BIGGER lemons
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. (Hey, it's always worked for me!)
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. (Yes! Thank you! Although, that still doesn't explain why I'm not dead yet...)
STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel... of course, it's usually the oncoming train
Some people are like slinkies, they're good for nothing, but they sure make you laugh when you push 'em down a flight of stairs
That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast. (very, very fast...)
A true friend is someone who's been with you long enough to know almost eveything about you...and still hasn't killed you yet.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls...and off the occasional cliff (Damn gravity...TT_TT)
"I'm bringing sexy back..." Personally, I never knew sexy was gone... (It left when they cast Robert Pattinson as Edward in "Twilight")
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!
There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you lose the argument that it becomes weird. (But the voices in my head are such good debaters!! I can never win!! T-T)
Well behaved women never make history. (Again, very true.)
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your friends and enemies as far the hell away from each other as possible or they'll team up to kill you!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. (Personally, I prefer grenades. They keep the doctor away for much longer...)
"Guns don't kill people, people kill people." ...Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG alot, I don't think you'd kill too many people. (Yes, I have found that, when trying to kill someone, actually having a gun does indeed help...though it's not absolutely necessary...)
Everyone has a wild side, I just prefer to make mine public. (...You mean there's another side besides wild? O.o)
Insomnia is a writer's best friend (I honestly cannot remember the last time I wrote a story before 12:00 am)
The cops never find it as funny as you do... (Story of my life...T-T)
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. (Why give your muscles any more work than necessary?)
I'm not late, I'm just not as obsessively punctual as most people
You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft! (A truer statement has never been said.)
It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. (XD)
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
Never go to bed mad, stay awake and plot horrible REVENGE!
Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former
When all else fails, use duct tape.
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. (Oh, it's definitely me. 0_o)
Therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is free.
There's nothing that can't be fixed with: duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over. (Surprisingly, this is actually very true...)
Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. (I'm a yakuza. We never run out of places to hide the bodies.)
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites.'
I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law. (There is a difference!! A difference, I say!)
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Amateurs built the ark, Professionals built the Titanic.
"I have a high pain threshold. Actually, it's less of a threshold and more of a tastefully decorated foyer." (from Mortal Instruments)
"Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. (0.o Umm...I can honestly say I never thought of it that way before...)
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up. (My parents gave up on telling me to shut up and sit down a long time ago. Now they just use duct tape.)
Whoever said that words don't hurt has obviously never been hit by a dictionary. (That hurts. Trust me.)
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
Good morning is an oxymoron.
I am worse than evil... I am the author!! (Those who have read my stories know this to be all too true...)
Sometimes it's best not to question your friend. Just help them dump the bodybag into the river.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. (Really, it makes perfect sense...)
All the good guys are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books. (Let's face it, ladies, we all know this is true...)
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
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