Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.
--Jordan The Creator--
Hi, I'm Jordan The Creator, but you can call me Jordan or JP. I am the Admin of The Vampire Diaries Roleplay here on fanfiction. The roleplay can be used for:
If you would like to join, Private Message me, or our other three moderators.
The Cursed Shadow
--More About Myself--
Username: Jordan The Creator
Favorite Color: Purple
Favorite Books: The Notebook, Harry Potter, Unwind, Looking For Alaska, Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, Pretty Little Liars, Gone, Dear John, The Last Song, Maximum Ride, Perks of Being a Wallflower, Safe Haven, The Odyssey
Favorite Movies: 21 Jump Street, The Notebook, Superbad, The Amazing Spiderman, Nightmare On Elm Street, Brave, Scream, Resident Evil, The Princess Bride, Elf, The Hunger Games, The Muppets, The Hangover, Mean Girls, Thor, The Avengers, Snow White and The Huntsman, The Lovely Bones, Toy Story, Perks of Being a Wallflower, Dark Skies, Safe Haven, Scott Pilgrim VS The World
Favorite TV Shows: The Vampire Diaries, Dance Moms, Awkward, The Secret Life Of The American Teenager, Hell's Kitchen, Disaster Date, Silent Library, Moving In, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Family Guy, Futurama, Adventure Time, Glee, Workaholics, Freaks and Geeks
Favorite Albums: Oracular Spectacular, The Heist, The VS Redux, Blow The Roof, Macadelic, Camp, Childish Gambino EP, Move Along, When The World Comes Down, From Under The Cork Tree, Infinity On High, The Fray, Man On The Moon, Man On The Moon II, Electra Heart, The Family Jewels, Songs About Jane, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, Pretty Odd, Vices and Virtues, Riot!, Want
Favorite Games: Apple's To Apple's, Just Dance, Temple Run, Halo: Reach, Assassins Creed: Revelations.
"Why else would you have such a little D? It's because you're a f*king elf!"
"What the hell is a hufflepuff?"
"Red vines? What the hell can't they do?"
"There will always be guys like potter."
"After all this time? Always."
"Death is UNTASTEFUL!"
"Don't have sex because you will get pregnant, and die!"
"And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals."
"At this age you're going to have a lot of urges to take your clothes off and touch each other. But don't. You will get Chlamydia. And die."
"In that book, someone wrote that I'm not a virgin, but I can't help that I have a heavy flow so I have to use super jumbo tampons and have a wide set vagina."
The Vampire Diaries:
Narcissa/Dobby (You'll only get this if you've watched AVPS)
1.YOUR REAL NAME: Jordan
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Jorizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Purple Penguin
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Paige Ponderosa
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Angjoeas
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (current underwear color, favorite drink): Blue Bacardi
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Oggaosn
8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Frodo
9. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Ann
10. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (something bad, favorite fruit): Dance Moms Miami Banana
11. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (third favorite color, pirate accessory): Blue Peg Leg
Female come backs
pick up line comebacks
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.
GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen"
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S and B'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with TEENAGE DRINKERS and SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear skirts.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY/LESBIAN.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
1. Play your Windows Media Player, iTunes, or iPod, etc. on shuffle. 2.For each question, press the next button to get your answer.3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS. 4. Post it on your profile!
IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY YOU SAY?
Lights- Ellie Goulding
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
I'm On It- Childish Gambino
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Ur So Gay- Katy Perry
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Dance Inside- All American Rejects
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
This is Your Life- The Killers
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Bitch Look At Me Now (Two Weeks)- Childish Gambino
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Carpal Tunnel of Love- Fall Out Boy
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I Don't Have To Try- Avril Lavigne
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Northern Downpour- Panic! At The Disco
WHAT IS 2 plus 2?
Blind- Jason Derulo
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
When You're Gone- Avril Lavigne
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sugar, We're Goin' Down- Fall Out Boy
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
MANIAC- Kid Cudi
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Enchanted- Taylor Swift
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Can't Hold Us- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
4th Quarter- Chiddy Bang
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Almost Famous- Eminem
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Waking Up In Vegas- Katy Perry
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Girls- Marina and the Diamonds
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Won't Go Home Without You- Maroon 5
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Everybody's Fool- Evanescence