Ok...so...I know I haven't updated in a loooooooooooooooong time...buut...I had written up the rest of all my stories on my old laptop...when it died. I tried charging it and starting it back up...but it was too old. I had to wait a couple of months before I could aford to get a new one and by the time I DID get it...I had forgotten all my stories. I had stored backups on a hard drive...and of course with MY damned luck I had dropped it when a freking bus went whirling by crushed the thing!! So...now I'm going to make different chapters. Wish me luck!!

Well,I'm just your average teen;I like soda and junk food,video games,the movies,the mall,but I also like to draw anime/manga characters which I'm really good at,I really like writing fan-fics(duh,I wouldn't be here if I didn't).I like sushi,and I know all martial arts(black belt)and let's see,I really want to go to Japan some day.And my favorite manga/Anime include Bleach,Vampire Knight,Gaba-Kawa,Naruto,Yurara,and lot others that I don't feel like listing.I hate Twilight with all my heart(Even though I'm a girl)I'm sorry to all Twilight lovers, I just don't see what the big deal is with the guys.So they're hot, so what!?Anyways,Id' like to give a special shout-out to Etiena and soccerstar7!!:D Oh, and for those of you who read my stories, I don't post my story unless I feel like it and I also don't post on a certain day of the week. The more you review the faster you get the next chapter of my stories! You might think that I don't sound very girly for a girl, right?! Thats because I'm a tomboy. I hope none of you out there will even have the nerve of calling me "girly" or "sweet heart" or any of that jacked-up, good for nothing shit! I don't like being called anything other than my real name or my profile name. Got it?! My real name is Jordan. I'm not afraid of giving you that information because it's one of the world's most popular names. Plus if anyone does try to hunt me down, I'll wack them on the head! I love violence...so yeah...

Add this to you profile if you think it's funny:

Father:"You’re in big trouble Miss!"
Child: "I didn’t do anything!"
Father: "YOU KICKED HIM!!"
Child: "It was an accident!"
Father:"In the Face...?"
Child: "My foot slipped..."
Father: "Five times?!"
Child: ...

If you believe Lilynette is the best way to get Stark to do whatever you want, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

There was a guy and a girl who were speeding on a motorcycle over 90mph

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not. Please, you're really scaring me!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug! girl hugs him
Guy: Can you take off my helmet put it on yourself? It's bugging me.
(In the paper next morning)
A motorcycle crashed into the side of a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that half way down the road the guy realized that his brakes went out but he did not want to let the girl know. Instead he had her say she loved him felt her hug one last time. Then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

(AWWW!! It's so sad!)

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't

remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you believe that everyone in the world is a baka, copy and paste this on your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you love Naruto so much you wish the characters were real so you coud be one of them, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile. (It says enter at your own risk…I wonder why...)

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. Anime, video games, cartoons, comics, you name it...

Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it to anyone, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you often laugh maniacally when you're all by yourself, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you're obsessed with writing/reading fan fictions with an OCxCharacter coupling, copy and paste this.

If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

Doing homework sucks. Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree.

-If you have ever tripped over your own feet, C&P this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that freaking rabbit some Trix already, copy this into your profile

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ...

Post this on your profile to make someone smile thats just like you!

Favorite quotes:"I.Am.Going.To.Kick.Your.Ass."-Stewie from FamilyGuy "Come near me and someone loses an arm."-Me

Favorite color: Emerald Green

Favorite color combinations: Green and Black, Blue and Black, Red and Black, Red and Blue, Blue and Green

Most random song I have ever heard: I am your little butterfly

Favorite American Bands: Greenday,All American Rejects,Evanescence,Phutureperimitive,SR-71,Hollywood Undead,and thats all I can think of for now...

101 things to do at WalMart - If you have done at least 10 of these then you my friend, are super awesome!!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. (Technically at Safeway, but close enough.)

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy".

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code Red in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max.

12. Play with the automatic doors. (Yeppers, lotsa times)

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. ( I need to do this XD)

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. ( XD )

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

43. Two words: "Marco Polo."

44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them. ( FUNNY! )

48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."

59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. ( XD )

64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" ( Or Bankana’s! )

67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. ( XD )

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it. ( This could be fun!)

70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.

71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag

72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"

73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes.

74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices.

75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane. ( I need to do that! )

76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle) … XD

77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"

78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight

79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.

81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section.

82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls. ( XD )

83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.

84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (don’t try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.

85. If people aren’t looking at their cart, steal it.

86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!" ( XD )

87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.

88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught

89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.

90. Repeatedly say "The clowns are not eating me."

91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.

92. Rearrange items as you see fit.

93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.

94. Put Pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs.

95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).

96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not reccomended).

97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.

98. Follow someone until they notice.

99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7 Up commercial.

100. Throw Skittles at people and scream "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.'

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of

the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. the counters. worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

If you like to annoy your teacher, then post this in your profile:

50 OR SO AWESOME WAYS TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER WANNA BACKHAND YOU!!

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG??” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!”

6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.

7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”

8. Don’t do your Homework.

9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.

10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”

11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.

12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom.

13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”

14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.

15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!”

16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena

17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room

18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says

19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow

20. Speak in French.

21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”

22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well

23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."

24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt.

25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”

26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."

27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”

28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”

29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads.

30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”

31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”

32. Bring in a 7th Grader and says he’s your new pet.

33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.

34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them.

35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.

36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.

37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.

38. Glue all their scissors together.

39. Make paperclip jewellery. I.e. necklaces, earrings, etc…

40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”

41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’

42. Talk to a pen.

43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!”

44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.

45. Smile. All the time

46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”

47. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’

48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go "OOOHH I KNOW THIS!!"

49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot." To every question she asks.

50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favorite song.

ADDITIONALS

51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards the him/her!

52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!

53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply "ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!!"

54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout "I OBJECT!!"

55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder!

56. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats!

57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!

58. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. Oh my god. Shit. Shit. Shit. What do I do? Miss/Sir you have to help me! Oh god. They must have found the body! HELP!"

59. When it's your turn to answer a question... Shout "NEXT!"

Really random shit,huh?

Only in America ...do people order

Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to

Only in America ...do we leave cars

Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.