|Lady Miel Cacao|
Author has written 5 stories for Naruto.
Hey, guys!! I am planning on a posting new story called "Through the Smoke." Not exactly sure when I'll post it, but I've already gotten two chapters down. How many chapters will it be? I have no idea. It depends on where my muse willtake me, but I will guess and say more than five chapters at least. I will be posting updates of the chapters on my profile, so you guys can see how it's going.
About "Of Cereal and Alcohol", I know I haven't updated it in a while, but I am not sure about it at this point. For now, I am placing it on hiatus. It's hectic right now because graduation is almost a month away!! XD Soon, I will be out of high school and into college! Wish me luck.
Thanks for your support!
Through the Smoke Status: (Not Posted)
Chapter 1: Complete
Chapter 2: In-Progress
Chapter 3: -
Chapter 4: -
Chapter 5: -
Chapter 6: -
Chapter 7: -
Chapter 8: -
Chapter 9: -
Chapter 10: -
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.
This is about abortion...
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
TOMBOYISH OR GIRLY? (Bold the ones you are)
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick.
Awesome!! Imma TomBoy!! ...more or less .
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you like BADASS characters then copy this to your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are insane and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile.
If you think it's strange and sad that many girls get up ridiculously early to do their hair and make-up and pick out the perfect outfit EVERY DAY and yet somehow have no time to eat breakfast, copy this into your profile.
If you wear black and a genuine smile at the same time on a daily basis, copy this into your profile.
If you are a GAARA fanatic, copy this into your profile.
Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!!
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him. You
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS !!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)"
STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Now you have two choices
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall down.
FRIENDS: will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
FRIENDS: picks up your papers in the hallways at school when you drop them.
FRIENDS: helps you find your prince.
FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain.
FRIENDS: will help you find your way when you're lost.
FRIENDS: will help you learn to drive.
FRIENDS: will watch your pets when you go away.
FRIENDS: will go to a concert with you.
FRIENDS: let you make an idiot of yourself in public.
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
FRIENDS: will help you move.
FRIENDS: hide you from the cops.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Honestly don't you know AT LEAST 1 person like this
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
I am not homosexual or bisexual. I am in fact a Christian, and believe that same-sex relationships are wrong. Regardless, I do not hate nor do I look down upon homosexuals or bisexuals. In fact, I have many Homosexual friends; girls and guys alike. It is not our right to treat them differently because of their sexual preferences. They are people too, and should be treated like people, not animals. Please, if you agree, copy and paste, and add your name: xXxYaoi-Anime-FanxXx, ChaoticRevival Saiyuri Haruno.
One day a girl was at her house when she got an I.M form her bf. She had recently had a feeling that her boyfriend didn't love her anymore so she asked him. "Do you love me? Don't lie." He didn't wanna hurt her so he sent her this: (Pay attention to the capital letters)
are you kidding? I'M in Love with You. I could Never live without you Girl. (In case you didnt notice the capital letters spell out: I'M LYING.) COPY THIS TO YOUR PROFILE IF YOU EVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN.
Check this out...I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile
If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization XD!
If you enjoy those copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, Crash923, Silver Wind Kitsue, Wings of Water- SKYE, 2ndsly, Insane Winged Girl, Narufan101 PGNarutoFan Saiyuri Haruno
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin trix, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid cliché, EdwardandFangdreams4life, Insane Winged Girl, Narufan101,Saiyuri Haruno,
If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you threaten inanimate objects, copy and paste this into your profile
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever talked about something that you're hooked on non-stop with someone who doesn't know what the hell your talking about then copy this onto your profile.
If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love Sasuke and Sakura fics paste this onto your page(it rules!)
If you love Gaara and Sakura fics paste this onto your profile!
If you are against animal testing, then shout it loud, dammit!
I want Child Abuse to stop and if you do too, copy and paste this into your profile..
Revenge is just like honey. It's sweet and doesn't expire!!
If you are not gay/lesbian and you still think that homophobia is something that closed-minded pathetic idiots who are afraid of anything different from them have, then spread the word!
If you think Akatsuki rule,put this on ur profile!!
If you are a Gaara Fanatic copy this into your profile.
If you have ever said that an anime character is sexy and you love them and you mean it, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If Orochimaru creeps the shit out of you,copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name. Lily, The Crazy Evil Akatsuki Neko, Mood-chan-SIRIUS IS UBER HOT, VampireArgonian92, NejiTenfanforever, Deidara-Kun-Fangirl, KingofRandomness, Dragonfly51, Gaaras1Girl,Lazy'girl-chan, Deidara Lover, Saiyuri Haruno,
If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile.
If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Are you a big Naruto fan? Well below are some signs to show that you are addicted to Naruto!
· Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.
-Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
-If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!
-The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the
-My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.
-I love Deadlines! I like the whoosh noise they make as they go by.
-Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back.
-In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat.
-If the good die young then the bad die old; thus leaving us with only
-Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes i have to wonder
-Rules are like paper clips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend,
-A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could
-A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend
-A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens
ONLY IN AMERICA...
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks
...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front
...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8
...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter
...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke
...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages
...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place
...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures
Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?
Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?
Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?
If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (You're really gonna make me say it aren't you?)
Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?
A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy this into your profile if you're a Ninja!0_0
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
"I've been to the darkside man...they lied about the cookies...T.T."
"Me I'm dishonest, and a dishonest person you can always trust to be dishonest, honestly. It's the honest ones you oughtta watch out for because you never know when they are gonna do something incredibly...stupid."
"What I'm thinking about right now involves a machete and a pair of pliers."
"I'm a school girl in love with her senpai!"
"The problem here is...you're talking in math...and I'm listening in stupid."
"Miss Hanes, If you ever find yourself under a flaming building that's about to collapse onto you and someone comes to offer to carry you to safety don't look, don't think, don't hesitate for one moment just...spit in his eye!"
"Luke...i am your father's mother's, brother's, sister's, cousin's, half sister's, nephew's,...ex room-mate."
"You are so gay! You big parfai you flaming one man cabaray!!"
"Hello!! I am your femur! Consider yourself fucked!"
"To die would be a great adventure"
"Pizza Pizza Pie! Every minute, every second PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE!!"
"Wrong! Your ears you keep and I will tell you why...so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish...every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out 'dear GOD what is that thing?' will forever echo in your perfect ears."
-I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
-If a stranger offers you a ride, only go with him if he has candy.
-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.
-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
Be nice to losers. one day they might be cool!
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
- Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- I'm not crazy- I'm psychotic . . . There's a difference!
- There's nothing that can't be fixed with: duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.
- My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time.
- Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today
- Don't get mad; get sadistic.
Dont worry, we'll get threw this with inexpensive therapy, bubble wrap, and chocolate.
- Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Common sense is the enemy of comedy.
- Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.
- My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.
- Knowledge is power; power is the root of all-evil. Therefore studying is evil.
- I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!
- You know what?! Earth sucks, I’m going home.
- Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.
- If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window...I will laugh.
- your a great friend but if the zombies come I'm tripping you.
- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?
- What is this 'kindness' you speak of?
- Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
- He who laughs last didn't get it.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
Being weird is like being normal, only better!!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!!
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.'
' I am not crazy! U know what! The voices don't like u anymore!'
Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.
The trouble with life is there's no background music
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough.
They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
' The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.'
My night in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman.
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.
I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny
They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.
Weather Forecast for tonight: dark
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
'Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.'
Don't follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls.
"You're not drunk until you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the Earth."
'When my mother is mad... she doesn't glare daggers, oh no... she glares pitch-forks!
A hero need not speak. When he(or she) is gone, the world will speak for him(or her).
Pick Up-line and shut downs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
"Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you." –Marsha Norman
The "You no like, you no read" club: If you believe that people who don't like someone's story should simply not read it instead of posting cruel and hateful reviews, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Alicia's Purple Velvet Purse, changelingchild, crimsonchidori, SasukeSakuraxXXxItachiSakura,foxfeather1337,Sadistic-Bitch, Cherry Blossom Girl13, weasel-cheater, Saiyuri Haruno,
If you've ever looked at random peoples profiles just to get these stupid things, copy this on to your profile
What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
Is represented as:
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
If you are an Itachi fangirl and just cannot hold it in copy this on your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
DEIDARA'S SUGAR GIRL PLEASE COME BACK! I miss your crazy funny amazing awesome sense of humor and literature, you are loved by me and many others. http://www.Fanfiction.net is not http://www.Fanfiction.net without you! If you love Deidara's Sugar Girl, show her your support by posting this to your profile and adding your penname: pompom-peanut, xiicherry-chu-kisses, xPrincessKagurax, Saiyuri Haruno,
This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.
AQUARIUS- The Sweetheart (Jan 20-Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but can be original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
PISCES- The Dreamer (Feb 19-Mar 20) Generous, kind and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secrative and vague. Sensitive. Doesn't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Symathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
ARIES- The Daredevil (Mar 21- Apr 19) Energetic. Advernturous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse (easily angered). Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
TAURUS- The Enduring One (Apr 20-May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their own way. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to furious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
GEMINI- The Chatterbox (May 21-June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptible but needs to express themselves. Arguementive and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial and inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.
CANCER- The Protector (June 21-July 22) Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from everyone. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
LEO- The Boss (July 23-Aug 22) Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Likes to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to the Leo's. Attractive.
VIRGO- The Perfectionist Dominant (Aug 23-Sept 22) In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Arguementive. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hard working. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
LIBRA- The Harmonizer (Sept 23-Oct 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
SCORPIO- The Intense One (Oct 23-Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hard working. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secrative. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and emotional.
SAGITTARIUS- The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22-Dec 21) Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up. Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsiblities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
CAPRICORN- The Go-Getter (Dec 22-Jan19) Patient and wise. Practiacl and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competitions. Get what they want.
If you think men who think they are superior then woman and look down on them are total and complete ASSHOLES then paste in your profile and add your name to the list : Uchihablossom0626, Saiyuri Haruno,
REMEMBER WHEN ...
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225CherryBlossoms016, SakuraUchiha14,Sakura-Cherry-Blossom, Kuro Tenshi
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Anime-Kunoichi,Chinbaldo,Naruto Ninja44,May and Dawn are the best, KrystalClear101 Saiyuri
92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your head off.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears’s hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (That’s the only time I have to work on my hair!).
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (Yeah, but it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh, failer at life!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD
This *sniff* is *sniff* a *sniff* really *sniff* sad *sniff* story *sniff*.
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
R.I.P. Uchiha Itachi. He was a man who loved peace and who had the strength to follow the path he had chosen even when it became unbearable. Copy and Paste this to your profile and add your name to this list if you would lay a flower on his grave:sunshinelexi,Runo 44, Ralf 55, Bulla49, Saiyuri Haruno,
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
IF YOU THINK WRITERS BLOCK SUCKS, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE!!
If you said "Awww" when you saw Puss in Boots do that "Big Eyes" thing in Shrek 2, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile (EVIL MOSQUITOES)
If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile
If you don’t believe in stereotypes, copy this into your profile.
Five billion dollars is enough money to buy everyone on earth a 10-Speed Bike. If you didn't know this, copy and paste this into your profile
If you hate the popular kids, put this on your profile. (Created by Goddess of Magic (GOM)
If you think being pretty isn't important, put this in your profile. (GOM)
If you have a profile do the opposite of copying this to your profile, make the opposite of copying this to your profile 9 times... not.
If you didn't get the thing above me copy this to your profile and that too. up there.
If you like blue copy this to your profile.
If you've ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy this to your profile.
If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.
If you usaually get glared at for being too hyper and saying stuff that doesn't make sense copy and paste this into your profile
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.
If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
Anime is Life. Manga is life. Life is good. Parents suck for not buying you more life. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE
If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile.!
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your friends give you odd looks for being yourself, copy this into your profile.
If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "cookie", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile. There's always lemons.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wondered what would happen if you peeled an M&M, copy and paste this into your profile.(Actually did it!)
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile
If you love to laugh, copy and paste this into your profile
If you love to write copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who don't, it is a mythical lemon with wings. ha! now you know!), then copy paste it.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you know a person thats a bitch to you copy and paste this to your profile.
If you hear voices of characters in your head copy this into your profile (as I write and read fanfictions.)
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
QUESTIONS I WILL APPARENTLY NEVER FIND ANSWERS TO:
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do the alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle have the same tune?
Why did you just sing the songs above?
Why do doctors leave the room when you strip- they're going to see you naked anyway?
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Can you cry under water?
How come people say 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up and cry every 2 hours?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If vegetable oil made from veggies and oil, what is baby oil made of?
How come Pluto has to be on all fours when Goofy can stand on 2 legs? They're both dogs!
Why does my hairdryer have a tag that says "do not use in the shower"?
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about it?
Do penguins have knees?
Why do toasters have a setting to burn it terribly black which no decent person would eat?
What if a fat chicken layed eggs? They would sit on them right?
Why do dogs get mad when you blow in their face and then they stick their head out the window in a car?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut how come he can't fix a hole in a boat?
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? (accually i do know you have succeeded by failing)
Why doesn't that one kid have a name? He's always just 'that one kid'
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
If darkness is bad, why does it hide you?
If light is good, why does it blind you?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why is there Brail on the drive up ATM machine??
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the park way?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
If there are any guys that want to date me, my dad gives them these rules.
Daddy's Rules for Dating
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a carton of beer, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool, places where there is darkness, places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Cricket games are okay...Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
I think you can understand why I don't get that many dates.
_Taken from crazychick1313's profile. (: _
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