Diresquirrel
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since: 03-04-10, id: 2278168, Profile Updated: 12-31-11
country: USA
Author has written 25 stories for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, X-overs, Star Wars, Batman, Naruto, X-Men, Dungeons and Dragons, Deadpool, Dresden Files, Slayers, Eureka, Jurassic Park, Dragonlance, and Fallout.

The DireSquirrel was raised by immigrant penguins from the Galapagos islands. It learned to write by inscribing seacoast rocks with images that happened to resemble this thing humans call text. After that it was a grand downward spiral of original fiction, fan fiction and dastardly plots.

There are occasional bouts of inspiration and occasional bouts of nothing. 'Tis normal for such as the DireSquirrel.


How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.


1. I Fall(out) to Pieces » reviews
War... War never changes. In the year 2076, Europe is consumed in war. Muggle Britain stands mostly intact, but it will not remain so for long. Concurrently, Magical Britain denies the return of the most feared wizard in generations. In all of this, what is UK-13? And what does it have to do with Harry Potter?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fallout - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,358 - Reviews: 165 - Updated: 5-21-13 - Published: 2-22-13 - Harry P.
2. Genetech Discrepancy » reviews
Buffy is thrust into a new situation when she finds out that her mother's estranged father recently died. With Joyce dead, Buffy and Dawn have to pick up the pieces. Crossover with the Book verse of Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Jurassic Park - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,962 - Reviews: 44 - Updated: 4-17-13 - Published: 8-20-11 - Buffy S. & Tyrannosaurus
3. Thinking in Little Green Boxes » reviews
A certain young wizard ends up at 4 Privy Drive instead of 4 Privet Drive. He is raised with loving care by a cuddly Merc with a Mouth. WARNING: now with 19.96% more Death Eaters and a Rodent of Death.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Deadpool - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 47 - Words: 101,827 - Reviews: 560 - Updated: 3-15-13 - Published: 6-28-10 - Harry P.
4. Xander of the Red Robes » reviews
Jesse bought the costumes. It was too late to change into something else, and so Xander was stuck with face paint and hourglass contact lenses. Slightly AU for Buffy. Halloween fic for Halloween.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Dragonlance - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,064 - Reviews: 48 - Updated: 3-15-13 - Published: 10-24-11 - Xander H. & Raistlin
5. False Starts Harry Potter » reviews
A series of disjointed story ideas that never went anywhere. They're all HP of sorts, with different twists and ideas that ran out before they became full fledged stories.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 59,933 - Reviews: 269 - Updated: 2-14-13 - Published: 7-9-11 - Harry P.
6. Voldemort's Bad Day reviews
Voldemort is having a bad day. A very bad day.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,161 - Reviews: 23 - Published: 1-29-13 - Voldemort - Complete
7. A Parody of Soul Bonds reviews
Harry and Hermione decide to make a soul bond, despite not really knowing what they are doing. Horlarity ensues (portmanteau of "Horror" and "Hilarity"). This short story is not to be taken seriously.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,425 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 1-10-13 - Harry P. - Complete
8. A Crime Fitting the Punishment or Dumbledore's Monster reviews
Albus Dumbledore gets an unexpected visitor in his office one late summer night. The Headmaster finds himself talking to a monster he never knew could arise from his actions. Darkish.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,081 - Reviews: 100 - Published: 12-30-12 - Albus D. - Complete
9. False Starts Naruto » reviews
This is a series of ideas and blips that started out, but I wasn't ever able to fully flesh out. Some good, some not so good, but most have a silly side to them. All focus on the Naruto 'verse, specifically on the manga.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,489 - Reviews: 67 - Updated: 12-30-12 - Published: 4-25-12 - Naruto U.
10. Every Silver Lining has its Cloud » reviews
Forgotten Realms Crossover Buffy is late in stopping Angelus and most of Sunnydale is pulled into Acathla's portal ending up in the Nether Mountains in northern Faerun. Warnings for occasional naughty words, heavy violence, and gnomes.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Dungeons and Dragons - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 46 - Words: 219,814 - Reviews: 111 - Updated: 6-13-12 - Published: 3-11-10
11. Not Your Average Konoha Academy Graduate » reviews
The castle just collapsed and it wasn't my fault. Really. Can't a guy have a beachside vacation in peace? If you don't know, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I'm a wizard. Here's my card. And for the last time: no, I don't do love potions.
Crossover - Naruto & Dresden Files - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,846 - Reviews: 99 - Updated: 4-14-12 - Published: 10-28-11 - Naruto U. & Bob
12. False Starts Buffy the Vampire Slayer » reviews
A series of story ideas that never went anywhere. A few work well as one shots but are a bit short, others are shards of ideas that may or may not be expanded. Some good, some not so much.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 25,051 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 11-8-11 - Published: 7-12-11 - Buffy S.
13. Dobby House Elf and the Popular Culture » reviews
Harry makes the mistake of letting people around an impressionable poor house elf. Dobby takes his obsessions a little too seriously. Rating for violence. Yes, violence.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,585 - Reviews: 44 - Updated: 9-21-11 - Published: 11-1-10 - Dobby & Harry P. - Complete
14. Naruto: Weapon X reviews
A telling of the Weapon X storyline by way of the Naruto world. Don't expect a happy Naruto
Crossover - X-Men & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,237 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 8-27-11 - James H./Wolverine/Logan & Naruto U. - Complete
15. Yub Yub Commander » reviews
My friend wanted me to write a Star Wars cross. Her Requirements: no Jedi, no standard relationships and no Xander the Hutt. Xander gets some people to dress up for Halloween as a memorial to Jesse. SG1 eventually.
Crossover - Star Wars & Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 6 - Words: 26,190 - Reviews: 62 - Updated: 8-26-11 - Published: 2-20-11 - Xander H.
16. Are you sure this was a good idea? » reviews
Stupid Magical Contracts! Harry and Hermione discover that magic doesn't have the same kind of sense of humor that they are used to. Also, Hermione accidentally becomes a Big Bad. Warning: 'Tis a silly fic.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 38,334 - Reviews: 152 - Updated: 7-15-11 - Published: 10-15-10 - Dawn S.
17. Naruto Uzumaki and the Deus Ex Machina no Jutsu reviews
THE OBLIGATORY TIME TRAVEL FIC! This is pure parody where Naruto is transported back in time from a terrible future via Madara's Deus Ex Machina no Jutsu.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,231 - Reviews: 61 - Published: 4-20-11 - Naruto U.
18. Shadow over Hogwarts » reviews
Ten years ago they won the battle: Voldemort was dead. They didn't realize that at the same time they had lost the war. Now, a shadow lurks over the Wizarding World that threatens to change everything. AU Harry Potter.
Crossover - Batman & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,563 - Reviews: 57 - Updated: 4-16-11 - Published: 3-15-11 - Harry P. - Complete
19. Rabbit Summoning reviews
A silly little thing happened when Naruto decided that Toads just weren't cool enough. So he wrote his own contract, but it didn't work out quite the way he expected.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,588 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 4-12-11 - Complete
20. Destruction! The Obligatory Halloween Fic! » reviews
The Slayers via costumes arrive in Sunnydale! Property damage and hilarity ensues.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Slayers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,123 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 3-20-11 - Published: 11-1-10 - Willow R. & Lina I.
21. Three corn fed farmboys reviews
Three men meet at their ten year college reunion and discover they have more than the same school in common. SG1, BtVS, DC
X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,623 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-14-10 - Complete
22. Clearance reviews
Jack Carter asks Jo a question on a particularly dull day. One shot.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Eureka - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,211 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 11-6-10 - Jack C. - Complete
23. A Parody of Marriage Contracts reviews
Professor Sinistra has to explain a situation to the Deputy Headmistress. 'Tis a silly fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 962 - Reviews: 40 - Published: 11-1-10 - Minerva M. - Complete
24. Surprise! Harry's got a Grandma! reviews
Harry was feeling pretty good after his third year. True, it hasn't been going perfectly, but nothing ever does. Still, his godfather was free-ish and alive, and both their souls were where they belong. And then he got a visit from his mother's mother. There's no ownership by me involved with this.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Slayers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,004 - Reviews: 91 - Published: 10-20-10 - Harry P. & Lina I. - Complete
25. I think There's Been A Mistake reviews
Hagrid grabs the wrong Wizard named Harry.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dresden Files - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,703 - Reviews: 27 - Published: 10-19-10 - Hermione G. & H. Dresden - Complete