Author has written 42 stories for Lord of the Rings, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Harry Potter, Good Son, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, CSI: Miami, Degrassi, Hunger Games, and Keith.
All of my multi-chap fanfics have been discontinued. Done writing fanfiction. I have lost interest and plus I have had some personal issues that have led me to stop writing/posting. May read on occasion. PM is still open for anyone who wants to stay in contact.
Youtube (no longer posting):
Twitter (no longer using): @TurboWiz70
I wasn't planning on getting into detail on my FFN page about my departure from fanfiction, but I guess I should end the issue now so people can understand. And I'm doing it with a calm mind since most of my tweets on this subject have been heat of the moment . . .
Firstly, sending reviews/messages that make me feel like crap are not going to inspire me to start writing again. In fact, that just gives me a reason to NOT start writing again and that I made the right desicion. I am aware of my fanfiction status, but that does not change how I feel inside about posting on this site. I have many reasons for not continuing fics ("If We Hold On Together" in particular) and it is largely due to the fact that I have gained readers (readers who I actually called friends) who I thought would stick around for a while but then they just disappear. If they just stopped reading as readers, fine. But for a friend to just vanish and leave me in the dust period sucks, especially when you see them doing other things with your own eyes and you cannot help but feel hurt and discouraged. I did not stop writing fanfiction due to readers; I stopped partically due to these "friends" and I really don't want to see that happen again. I never said I don't have enough support from readers; it's the lack of support from people I used to call friends that is discouraging, especially when you tried to be there and reach out and by the end of the day your pushed to the side. It also sucks that people say that they will stick around and then they don't; if you knew my history you would see why that is a big issue with me.
Another reason is because I was putting so much thought, effort, and planning into "If We Hold On Together" that it stressed me out. I had notebooks of ideas, many plans written out, and ideas in my head that were always changing. I would stay up until the early hours of the morning working on it, rereading, editing, and telling myself not to sleep until I got a chapter published or at least finished. I know, I took it too seriously, but when one has a lot of free time and no one to talk to, you should expect a few extremes. Especially with I had been building up to at this point in the fic, I was making sure everything lined up perfectly so it was a perfect, rational buildup to what I had in store. What I'm trying to say is that with all the effort I put into it, I was a bit discouraged that people did not always have the reaction I had in mind. That makes me discouraged as a writer and so I try to make the next one better by doing the same process only to have the same result. Then I would reread and feel discouraged because then I see that I totally missed the mark on what I was aiming for. Needless to say, that makes me feel like crap.
However, my biggest reason for discontinuing my fanfiction writing has NOTHING to do with readers, reviews, my writing style, etc. It has to do with ME AND ME ALONE. From January 2011 to January 2013 all I thought about was "If We Hold On Together." Around January 2013, someone helped me check back in to reality. I realized that I had a lot more around me going on than school and fanfiction writing; I kept writing "If We Hold On Together" but it was starting to lose its appeal to me. I realized that it gave me stress, made me feel discouraged, and it was no longer a happy place for me to go to; it became my life and it was slowly turning into a bad one. After spending time with this person who brought me back to earth, I realized that I did not want to be stressed all the time by a FANFICTION! I have enjoyed writing it, but if it makes me miserable then I should not do it. I continued to write until March, then I decided that enough was enough. I was done. I was done being stressed and I wanted to start living my life instead of creating life for two fictional characters.
I thought I would be depressed when I made my decision to stop writing, but I was relieved. I saw a window of opportunity in front of me beyond fanfiction. I am really sorry if that me ending the fic has upset readers, but I am happy with my life and I need to start doing what is best for me. Stress and discouragment are not what I want out of life, so I'm not going to put myself in a situation where I know they will find me. Since I have stopped writing fanfiction and stopped stressing about it, I am a lot happier. I do admit that it is my own fault that I let it control my life for as long as I did, but I cannot change anything in the past and I don't think I would if I had the choice. Everything happens for a reason.
I MAY start writing again someday, but I cannot make any promises. Maybe if I find a way to not be stressed with it, if I learn not to feel discouraged, and if I ever find the inspiration, then I would consider picking up my fics again. The chances are low, but I believe anything is possible so that low chance can turn into a big chance in the future.
I really am sorry about the sudden ending of my fics and I am sorry that I may have said some things that could have been taken the wrong way. Let me just be clear that I am not saying that the support readers have given me is not enough, because it is; I just get my hopes up too high and I get discouraged because I know my writing has not been that great lately in my opinion (and besides God, I am my biggest critic).
I do apologize if there was any confusion on this part and for any hurt feelings I may have caused. At least now you know, so if you feel the need to send me a review or message stating how this is unfair on the readers, just try to see it from my point of view. I do appreciate my readers and I am grateful for the support I have given me. Thank you. If you have anything else to say about this, I'll listen but I don't see myself changing my mind on getting back to writing anytime soon.
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