I am a Star Wars lover. I am a girl... suprisingly. I play alot of sports: softball, basketball, tennis, and track.

Faves:

fav. animal- Vulture

fav. music artist- Kesha

fav. song- Cannibal

fav. movie- The Lost Boys

fav. actor- Hayden Christensen

fav. book- Bratfest at Tiffanys

fav. track event- 400

fav. baseball team- Cardinals (DUH!)

fav. male tennis player- Fernado Verdasco

Who is president if the vice-president dies?

A: the president!

Can you catch a butterfly with your hair?

A: Sure,if you're a bru-net!

What do you call twin boy vampires?

A: Blood Brothers!

Favorite Bath and Body Works scents:

fresh linens
*sea island cotton
*green clover with aloe
*twilight woods
*velvet tuberose
*white tea and ginger

The only reason I put Romanic Princess as a catagory for one of my stories is because they didn't have anything I could put for Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I have a heart I swear I do, but just not baby when it comes to you. I get so hungry when you say you love me, if you know whats good for you. I think you're hot I think you're cool you're the kind of guy I'd stalk in school, but now that I'm famous you're in my anus. I want to eat you fool."

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"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no flipping way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the heck can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you idiot."

Freaky labels that think people are CRAZY... like me hehehehehehehehe

-On a Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping

( But why? It would make me look better )

-On a bag of Fritos

you could be a winner. No purchase necessary. Details inside.

( A shoplifter's special!)

-On a bar of Dial soap

Directions-use like regular soap

( And that would be how...? )

-On some Swann frozen dinners

Serving suggestion: Defrost

( But it's "just" a suggestion )

-On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert ( printed on the bottom of box )

Do not turn upside down

( It's a little late for that )

-On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding

Product will be hot after heating

( No? Really? I wanted to turn it into a popcicle! )

-On packaging for a Rowenta iron

Do not iron on body

( But it's faster that way! )

-On Boot's Children's cough medicine

Do not drive or operate machinery after taking

( Yeah I always let my little brother operate fork lifts and drive my car! )

-On Nytol Sleep Aid

Warning- May cause drowsiness

( I've been taking this to stay awake! Boy was I wrong!)

-On a Korean kitchen knife

Warning: Keep out of children

( I think that was probably a typo... I hope... Help me! )

-On most strings of Christmas lights

For indoor and outdoor use only

( as opposed to...?)

-On a Japenese food processor:

Not to be used for other use

( now I'm confused )

-On sainbury's peanuts

Warning- contains nuts

( what? No peas? )

-On an American Airline packet of nuts:

Instuctions: Open packet, eat nuts

( Really? I was just gonna' throw them out the window. But if you insist...)

-On a swedish chainsaw

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands

( how many people have actually tried this )

-On a child's Superman costume

Wearing garment does not enable you to fly

(Awwwwwwww... Why do you have to crush kids dreams i am one of those kids that wanted to fight crime like Super man and standing on the top of the stairs jumping off hoping that my cape will act like a parachute to catch me if i fail but instead i get a face full of carpet. pouting :) Smily really...)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

Freaky and Actual warning labels that are actual and freaky

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. (Darn! I wanted to have flea and tick free fish!! :( pouting:) It's Smily!!

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. (But I wanted to curl my large intestine :( more pouting :) Smily!! How could you come at a time like this?? I'm pouting not smiling!! Get it straight!! please?)

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. (Why does someone riding a bike need shin gaurds? Their not playing soccer...or are they??)

"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On a fireplace lighter. (But-but-but-but-...question mark)

"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. (But I can't go in the cold... Oh i know what i'll use! A flame thrower!! Smily you can come now!! Smily?! Smily?? scream)

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. (No I bought this to make the person attacking me smell pepper fresh!)

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. (Yeah i love the taste of toilet bowl and pepper mint in the morning)

"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. (Now what am i going to get them? Oh I know a car!!)

"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. (Do i even need to say anything for this one?)

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. (I thought that was the point... poor Gus and Jack Jack.)

"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally’s commercial that described how their burgers were fresh. (Gross gagging)

"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. (But how can i wash it... Oh I know the washing machine!!)

GOOD OR BEST FRIENDS

-A good friend helps you when you fall. A best freind keeps walking and says" Walk much, dumbie?"

-A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnapps him and brings him to you.

-A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh and say, "Ha,Ha,Loser!"

-A good friend will offer you her soda. A best friend will dump hers on you.

-A good friend gives you an umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says,"Run-beep-run!"

-A best friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

-A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be next to you saying,"That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

-A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write an embarrassing biography on your life story.

Friend:will help me find my way when I'm lost.

Best Friend:Will be messing with my compass,stealing my map, and giving me bad directions

Friend:Will help me learn how to drive.

Best Friend:Will help me roll my car into the river so I can collect insurance

Friend:Will watch my pets when I go away.

Best Friend: Won't let my go away.

Friend:Asks me for my number.

Best Friend: Asks me for her number.

Friend:Hides me from the police.

Best Friend: Is probably the reason they're after me in the first place.

Friend:Let's me make an idiot of myself in public.

Best Friend:Is up there with me making an idiot of herself too.

Friends: Fade.

Best Freinds: Are 4 Ever.

(Please if you have a freind that is like this please c/p this i know i have one ...cough cough fangfan5 cough I think i'm coming down with something.)