I'm leaving ff.

PoStIeSpOsTiEsPoStIeSpOsTiEsPoStIeSpOsTiEsPoStIeSpOsTiEsPoStIeSpOsTiEsPoStIeSpOsTiEsPoStIeSpOsTiEsPoStIeSpOsTiEs

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life."

Then the boy caught up to the girl and kissed her.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

Put this on your
page if you love
Naruto!

...BEEP...BEEP...

10 Reasons Why You Should Love Sakura:

1.) She's beautiful

2.) She's Strong

3.) She KICKS ASS! CHA!!

4.) She reflects on herself.

5.) She knows when a friendship is over.

6.) She broke out of her shell

7.) She was never useless

8.) She saved Sasuke and Naruto, both, from themselves.

9.) She's an awesome medic ninja!!

10.) She's not emo or shy. She knows who she is and is not afraid to show it; Or afraid to show who she loves. She may have faltered in a few episodes and people don't like it when she hits the guys, but face it anti-Sakura fans, Naruto would not be Naruto without what Sakura has done. She's superior.

Post In Your Profile If Your A Sakura Fan To The Death (Hell yeah!)

...L...O...V...E...

LOVE...

...BOOM BOOM...

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB: If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan, Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, Tiger Priestess, Bulla49, Runo 44 ,Princess Mayako, WikiaClub

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225CherryBlossoms016, SakuraUchiha14,Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan,Sasusakufan2357, Itachi'sbestfangirl, The New Legendary Sannin, Neko Graphic,HoshikoK,silentscream16, 7sasukesprincess7,Hanajimaa, BrokenAngel363, Evil-Angel666, gaarasakuralovers, Angelic Sakura Blossom,iluvsya2much,wikiaclub

Karin is so fat, not even Naruto can believe it!
Karin is so fat, not even the byakugan can see through her.
Karin is so ugly, ANBU thought she was in the second level of the curse mark, and kicked her butt.
Karin is so stupid, she took a shiet thinking it would open the 8 inner gates.
Karin is so old, Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot.
Karin is so ugly, when she passed by Hinata, Hinata yelled 'dayummmmm!'
Karin is so ugly, Itachi felt like his eyesight was diminishing when he saw her.
Karin is so ugly, she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again when he saw her.
Karin is so fat she made fun of Chouji for being skin and bones
Karin is so fat that when Lee was doing her, he gave up.
Karin is so ugly, They made her join ANBU just so they can put a mask on her
Karin is so stupid, she couldn't find any of the "hidden" villages.
Karin is so ugly, the Nine-tails fled in fear.
Karin is so ugly, it's forbidden just to transform into her
Karin is so fat, Tazuna considered using her as the bridge to the
mainland.

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination.

Female come backs

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSssSSSSsSS
... ...sSs
... ..s... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

--Girls--

--are-like-apples--

--on-trees.-The-best-ones--

--are-at-the-top-of-the-tree.--

--But the Boys don't reach--

--for-the-good-ones-because-they--

--are-afraid-of-falling-and-getting-hurt--

--Instead,-they-get-the-rotten-apples--

-from-the-ground-that-aren't-as-good--

-but-easy-so-the-apples-on-top-think--

-something's-wrong-w/them-when-in--

--reality-they're-amazing.-They-just--

--have-to-wait-for-the-right-boy-to--

--come-along,-the-one-who's--

--brave-enough-to--

--climb-all--

--the-way--

--to-the-top--

--of-the-tree--

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying

I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped."
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE:
1.(Reason I joined) We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life

7. Money Money Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8.WORLD DOMINATION!

()()
(0.0)
c( uu)

This is the recruitment bunny help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

BUNNIES KICK BUTT!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read that please put it in your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted: "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she'll be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this onto your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia.

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone that she fell...and they believed them.

THEY HURT HER

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post but didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.

THIS IS SO SCARY!

(Put this on your page if u like music)
(o) music

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Before you take the life of your baby, really consider all your options. Would you rather be fat for a while, or kill your child?

If you're against abortion, re-post this

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
3. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
4. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
5. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)
6. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
7. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
9. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
10. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
11. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
12. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
13. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
14. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

33 Things to do in an Elevator:

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
23. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
24. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
25. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
26. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
27. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
28. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
29. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
30. Tell people that you can see their aura.
31. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
32. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
33. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)

2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11)

3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15)

4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13

5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2)

6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12)

7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL

8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14)

9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4)

10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7)

11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6)

12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 )

13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10)

14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3)

15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9)

(Put it on your page if you laughed and if your eyes hurt... I did!)

A white man enters a bar and sees a black man sitting on a stool. The white man says, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK. When I grew up I was BLACK. When I'm sick I'm BLACK. When I go in the sun I'm BLACK. When I'm cold I'm BLACK. When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK. When you grow up you're WHITE. When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in the sun you turn RED. When you're cold you turn BLUE. And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism!

You go Blackman!

Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom

1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore

2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know

3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?

4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Just kidding.

5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'

6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...

7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?

8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?

9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...

10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain.

11. Dammit, Steve! You're the father of my baby! You know what? I'm-- AAAAHHH!! OH GOD, I'M HAVING THE BABY!! DAMN YOU, STEVE!! IF I'M GONNA HAVE THIS BABY NOW, YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THIS PAIN WITH ME!! Oh shit... is the intercom actually on?

12. This is your captain spreaking: we're about to land, but... uh... does anybody know how? I was kinda weak on that in piloting school...

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.--( You vocabulary, reading skills and Imagination increases too_

A man and a girl were speeding over 100 miles per hour on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down!

Guy: No, this is fun!

Girl: No, it is not! Please, it's so scary!

Guy: Then tell me that you love me.

Girl: I love you. Now slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gave him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take me off my helmet and put it on yourself? It bothers me.

In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle crashed into a building because of the non-compliance of the breaks.

Two people were on it and only one survived.

The truth was that halfway on the street recognized the man that had his break out, and he did not want to know the girl.

Instead, he let her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time Then he had her lay on his helmet so she would live even if it meant he would die.

If you do the same for the person you love, copy this address in your profile.

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you :

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8118423151811 = 98

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11141523125475 = 96

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
120209202145 = 100

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2211212198920 = 103

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1191911919199147 = 118

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and

Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that makes the job

Kiss on the stomach--"lets have sex"
Kiss on the Forehead --"Forever you will be mine"
Kiss on the Ear --"I'm horny"
Kiss on the Cheek --"We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand --"I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck --"We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder --"I want you"
Kiss on the Lips --"I love you" OR "I want you"
Holding Hands --"We can learn to love each other"
Slap on the Buyott --"That's mine"
Playing with the Ear --"I can't live without you"
Holding on tight --"Don't let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes --"Don't leave me"
Playing with Hair on Head --"Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist --"I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing --"I am completely comfortable with you"

Whoever criticizes our generation has quite obviously forgotten who raised it."

"RAP = Retards Attempting Poetry" (I have nothing against rap music but I thought this was hilarious!)

I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than urs.

'Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.'

'Someday your Prince Charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.'

'Dear bed, I'm sorry I left you so early in the morning. I'm really regretting it...please take me back.'

'I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.'

'Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.'

'Be optimistic. :) The people you hate will eventually die.'

You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home!

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired."

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

The difference between Genius and Stupidity is that Genius is limited

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?

Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules

…didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…

True Love has no happy ending, because True Love has no ending.

"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"

They keep saying the right person will come along... I think a truck hit mine!

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

There are three kinds of people:
those who make things happen;
those who watch things happen;
and those who don't know what the heck is happening."