(Formerly Desa Gibbons, but no one said it correctly. I like my new Pen Name better anyway.)

Hello, it's nice to meet you. My name is not Penelope Rose Gibbons, but rather Almira Ermengarde Imogene Sasafrass Carmicheal Humphermington, Queen of Midwestern America. I'm a passionate, flirty, creative, exciting individual who engenders art and imagination with just a wave of my wand. Exuberance is not a quality I lack, nor do I forsake zeal for mediocrity and imitation. Whether or not I do the same things as anyone else is purely a way of life I have choosen in an effort to find freedom in the confines of society. While I seek to be cultured and well-rounded in my world-view, I do not have qualms about being narrow-minded in many areas of life. I try for truth and love, and even though I believe in peace, I know I can only live in peace as far as it depends on me. I'm a woman of independence and dependency without the faulty guidelines of feminism or mistakes of others clouding my judgement and action. In the pursuit of happiness, I discovered abilities within myself for uses in the theatre and the literary arts which I have made an effort to train and refine. I want to be a lady, and accomplished in every sense of the word. I am beautiful in my way, elegent even, and I know I am an original work of art.

I don't make my religion out of human emotions and past times, but rather from the Ruler of the Universe, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. In the knowledge that it is He who created the universe in six literal days and that He gave his life in the most gruesome of ways so we might not die into darkness, but rather enter into life and eternity after conciously surrendering our lives to Him and love Him because of who He is and what He has done.

How's that for grandiloquent?

But honestly, I'm a bit more free-wheeling than that makes me sound. I was just going for something that would showcase my creativity, style, and over-all pomp.

"So is she or isn't she?"
"Is she or isn't she what?"
"Is she a phony?"
"I don't know..."
"That's right, she is a phony. But she's a real phony, which is what I like about her. She's real."
-Breakfast at Tiffany's

Lists:

Things I Don't Especially Like:

Reports: I don't like writing them, I don't like reading them. They're plotless, abstract at best, and altogether a boring read. So when I open a fanfiction and see a report, I get annoyed. Please don't waste our fanfiction space with your little summaries about something I've never read.
Example: hi, my name is harry me and my frinds are wizerds and we defeeted voldemeort while we were in wizerd skool i love my girlfriend ginny and we kiss everyday shes so hot.
Don't. Do. This.

Grammar: I hate bad grammar. Nobody will ever be a truely skilled writer until they can write without millions of grammarmistakes. Not to say I don't mess up sometimes and slip in the occasional error, because I've done that. It's just a matter of writing as well as you possibly can before you edit. Spell out your words too. I'm not going to make another category for this, because it should be understood. You aren't texting your bff Jill, you're trying to explain your mind and your thoughts to a perfect stranger.

Rudeness: What are three things that seem to always show up in reviews or even stories? Sarcasm, teasing, and innapropriate comments. Let's explore the do's and don't's of these shall we?
Sarcasm It's become a popular way of explaining things and stating opinions, but does that make it right? Yes and no. It's a culturally accepted way of conversing, so you don't need to refrain from it. However, please do it well. It's a delightful little conundrum really. Sarcasm can be cute and funny is consistently delivered in a light way that leaves room for vulnerability or companionship. Make sure space is left for the other person to respond with a remark just as saucy as yours.
Teasing Let's get one thing straight, because this isn't hard to understand. The paradox of teasing is that you don't want to hurt people's feelings, you just want to make them aware of a certain situation. So don't make fun of them, but rather use fun to enlighten them. It requires constant focus and you always have to think about what you're saying, but you'll find that you'll have less drama with your little girl friends. So seventh graders, let's be nice.
Innapropriate CommentsThe name is self-explanitory. Knock it off pervs and jerks. Nobody likes it and I guarantee you've made a beautiful girl cry. Not that I limit cruelty to men; women can be really nasty sometimes.

Things I Adore in Every Sense of the Word!

"People who need people...": Funny Girl. Best movie ever. But also completely irrelevent to my current theme.

A Desire to Learn: I love it when people say things like "Please comment if you found any typos." or "I want to know what didn't work, please let me know!" It's nice to see that people are willing to put themselves out there and take it, whatever "it" is. If they mess up, they want to know and learn from it, which I admire. I find it hard to take critisism sometimes, but I know it's best if I do.

Individuality: When browsing for fanfiction, I find that several of them sound exactly the same. Sure the names change and the quality of writing changes, but they all follow the same pattern. It was probably an original idea at one time, but it's become just like modern television. An equation that you plug a couple variables into and pray it's a hit. (Sorry ABC Family, but this is a direct insult at you.) I beg you guys not to be so lousy. Try a new thought bunny and let that frolic through the fields of fanfiction.

Controversy: Shock me. Give me food for thought and something to debate with later over coffee. Be a little bit brash and push bounderies. I believe that writing is an outlet for creativity and pushing the rules of the culture. Take anything that you don't like or don't understand and use it to tell a story. Make your voice heard through the lips of Percy Jackson or Bella Swan. Come on children, poke the monsters of mediocrity and be a little bit cool. Let's try to be profound.

I have to make a correction to a statement I just made above though. To make Miss Swan say anything remotely profound would be extremely OOC and might tear apart the foundations of the universe. Vegetables can't be controversial so Bella is not a very good example for that.*

I am my own beta because I've never had a beta that worked for me and understood my creative snobishness. If you think you can handle me, then shoot me a message. I have a crossover that needs some serious work.

I would ask you to follow me on twitter, but that would give away my secret identity, and superheroes don't do that.